A/N: I do not own Twilight or the saga in anyway. This is all Stephenie Meyer's brilliant idea. I feel like there's a lot to Mike that wasn't explored, especially his views about Bella and her relationship with Edward. K+ for language.

Mike Newton: The Safe Option

I am an all-American kind of guy. I am Hitler's favorite and mommy's ideal. I am a father's wet dream and a girl's fantasy. What isn't there to like about me, Mike Newton?

California was the place for me; the sun, the beaches, the surf, the chicks – the fact that I had to relocate to this shitty dump makes me want to slit my wrists. And yeah yeah, whatever, that isn't something to joke about, but it's true. Forks, Washington has got to be the most uninteresting place in the continental U.S. It's would be more entertaining to watch paint dry than try and find something fun here.

Of course there's Seattle and Port Angeles and even Olympia, but who the fuck wants to drive all the way down there with gas prices like this? And it's not like I'm just handed money to go out (although a good pout and a flash of pearly whites always makes mama charitable), I have work to do, ya know? So it's pretty much waste all the money I save up from work to have actual fun in the city or save it for college and all that other good shit and waste away in Forks.

But then there's Bella Swan who just made Forks ten times more interesting. Honestly, there isn't much to her. She looks like any other girl that would walk through Forks High that I wouldn't give a second glance at. But there's just something about her that makes my heart race and my palms sweat and boy, is my mind full of her.

It's gotta be her eyes, that deep chocolate brown that you could get lost in. Or her hair, which has the same color, but thick and long that falls down to her lower back. Her face is really nice too, that sweet heart shape with light freckles that fall across the plains of her cheekbones. Shit, I've never really examined a girl before her.

She's so quiet, wrapped up in her own little world or buried deep within a book as she soaks it all in. I guess that's kind of fascinating, and to be honest, nerdy chicks kind of turn me on. It balances out her lack of physical knowledge when it comes to sports and my lack of effort in school. We fit, ya know? Yin and Yang.

Then there's him. You know what, fuck him. Literally, ever since he first appeared at Forks High I knew I was going to have a problem with him right off the bat. His stupid fucking hair and those weird eyes; what is it about him that makes girls go crazy about him? It sucks even more because I thought Bella would be different. Bella didn't seem like the type of girl that would be into the mysterious, brooding, omnipresent guy like Edward Cullen.

Ugh, just thinking about his name makes me want to throw up. I mean, is he trying to be some sort of weird wanna-be James Dean, or is he just awkwardly anti-social? I can't figure him out and it's like, he acts like he's so much better than everyone else. Like he knows exactly what we're thinking and that he's far more superior than any of us mere mortals in his giant egotistical fantasy.

And Bella's all over it. I don't know what he did to her, but he's got her hooked. I have never seen someone so attached to another person in my entire life, and that's saying something with Jessica up my ass all the time. Like really, love the girl to death, but it's getting pretty annoying. But Bella around Edward…it's not like how Jessica is with me. It's not some petty high school crush; it's obsession.

Not gonna lie, every time Bella's blown me off, it stung. Cause it's like, why? Does he not give you permission to hang out with anyone other than him? I mean, I get it, they're dating, but come on; you need some social time with your friends, aka me. And sure, she knows that I like her, but come on! That shouldn't hinder our friendship.

What pisses me off the most though is when he left. He left her in the fucking woods and she became this shell of flesh with nothing inside. It hurt just watching her walk down the hallways, her head down, her hair covering her face. And when she did look at you (which was rare), you could see those beautiful brown eyes full of nothing. She had become nothing.

I could have made my move too. It was all planned out, all set in stone. The moment she finally opened her mouth during her days of being mute, it was like the sun started shining over the thick clouds that constantly blanketed our little town of Forks. For once, there was hope. There was hope that I could finally woo Bella, make her my girlfriend, and treat her in a way that Cullen never could. Then that stupid Indian messed it all up and I'm not even going to get into the whole barf fiasco.

Then he shows up again and everything's just peachy keen. I mean, what the actual fuck? I'm not an expert on relationships, but that doesn't seem like a healthy relationship. It's like he controls her, like he owns her. And she just goes right along with it.

Okay, okay, I know I probably sound super jealous, and to an extent, I am. Bella should be my girlfriend. Bella should be holding my hand down the hallway, should be going to prom with me, and should have a fucking life. With Cullen, she has nothing but him. How can she function? How can she live?

I hate it when Angela coos over them, like they're some celebrity couple she gets to watch first-hand. At least Jessica gets what I'm going through, although she's never been Bella's biggest friend. It's obviously because she's jealous of her because my affections lean towards Bella rather than her. But it's whatever; I've had girls fight over me all the time, it's nothing new.

But what's new is the fact that I have to fight for the girl this time. I have to fight for Bella's affection. Me, Mike Newton, a parents' only wish and America's favorite guy, has to fight for a girl to like him.

The world has been turned upside down.

I tried to change my appearance; slow down on the weights, style my hair a different way, things that would make Bella notice me. But it didn't. It just made her…the same. She didn't treat me any differently, didn't act like maybe there was something inside her stirring for my attention. She was still sitting on Cullen's lap like a puppy dog. It's ridiculous.

I can't entirely say I'm over Bella Swan; in fact, I don't think I ever will be. There's something significant about a love lost, or rather a love that never was. I wonder if she thinks about what it would be like to be my girlfriend rather than Cullen's, if there's something within our non-existent relationship that she wishes she had with him.

I wonder if she thinks about the safe option.