Disclaimer: I own nothing.


It was a sweltering hot day when Merlin awoke, rubbing sleep from his eyes. His door opened barely a second later, Gaius leaning his head in just a little.

"Arthur's been calling for you for ten minutes now," he said, looking like he had been woken up by the racket.

Merlin rolled his eyes. "Earlier than usual," he muttered.

Gaius, instead of responding, just shut the door again so Merlin could get ready for the day. He looked down at his bed at his two clothing options: red shirt with blue kerchief or blue shirt with red kerchief. Oh, the possibilities. What would he do? Merlin smirked at his joke as he quickly got ready. Merlin couldn't help but make jokes often. It helped make the days easier, the weight of his destiny lighter on his shoulders.

Destiny. Just the word flitting through his head made it feel like one more package fell back onto his back. I mean, he could have had a worse destiny, sure. Having to protect a prince who had become his best friend… it wasn't so bad. He wouldn't say he was unhappy with his lot in life, but his job couldn't be more difficult some days. Though Arthur was one of the most amazing men Merlin had ever met, he was also an arrogant prat and got himself into danger on purpose. So not particularly easy to protect, but hey, a man doesn't chose his destiny.

"Merrrrrliiiiin!" was the first sound he was greeted by once he left his chambers. He shook his head and followed the bellow to Prince Arthur's bedchambers.

The second he opened the door, he saw Arthur sitting at his desk, looking up at Merlin through his lashes with a petulant look on his face. Merlin grinned and his heart leapt the same way it always did when he saw Arthur. It didn't matter how heavy the duties in his life sometimes seemed, because Arthur was worth it. He remembered it every time he laid eyes on him, watched his golden hair shine in the sunlight coming in through the window.

"Where have you been?" Arthur snapped.

Well, Merlin thought he was worth it, at least. "Sorry sire, slept in a little."

"Did you? I wonder why… considering you were at the tavern again last night."

Merlin wanted to walk right out of the room in order to hit Gaius over the head. Merlin had told Gaius to stop telling Arthur he was at the tavern, but he never listened. Merlin was starting to think that Gaius thought it was funny. Merlin was actually out in the woods, practising a new spell.

"Sorry sire," Merlin said, because he wasn't sure what else to say.

Arthur stood, putting down the paper he'd been looking at. "You know, if you were my father's servant, he would send you to the stocks."

"That's why I'm working for you, not him," Merlin said.

Arthur came closer, close enough for Merlin to gaze into his clear blue eyes. "You think I'm above sending a lazy servant to the stocks?"

"No. I think you wouldn't want to send this lazy servant to the stocks," Merlin corrected.

One of Arthur's eyebrows went up. "Wouldn't I?"

Merlin smirked a little. He knew he was playing his luck—and he didn't necessarily want rotten tomato thrown at him—but he couldn't help but mess with Arthur. Not to mention, he knew he was right. He could see it in Arthur's eyes, which were softening while he watched.

"I called because I need my armour polished," Arthur said.

Merlin wanted to tease him for not sending him to the stocks, but decided that was a bad idea. So instead, he said, "This early? Are you sure it isn't something else?"

Arthur made a face of disgust, one he always made when anyone suggested he would need Merlin's help with anything. "Why would I need something from you? You're my idiot manservant."

"Of course, how silly of me, I just do everything for you is all."

"Everything?"

"Yes, everything," Merlin repeated, grabbing Arthur's armour.

Merlin was almost out the door when Arthur said, "Wait."

Merlin turned. "Sire?"

"Yeah, I called you for something else," he admitted.

"Naturally," Merlin said. "What do you need my great wisdom for this time?"

"Never mind," Arthur said, shaking his head and going back to his papers. "If you're going to make fun of me…"

"Wait, sire," Merlin said, setting down his armour and coming closer to his desk. "I won't poke fun, I promise. What do you want to talk about?" he asked.

Arthur looked up at him, smiling just a little. "It's funny, one moment you'll be teasing me and then next you'll seem so concerned…"

"My teasing doesn't mean I don't care about you. You tease me and we both know you are at least mildly fond of me."

"Am not."

They both smiled in unison at each other. "What is it you wanted to talk about, sire?" Merlin asked again.

"Well…" Arthur said, looking uncomfortable as he glared at his hands. "It's really stupid."

"And that's different than usual…" Merlin muttered, but then he saw the look on Arthur's face and said, "Sorry, sorry, continue."

"I met someone," Arthur choked out. He sounded so embarrassed, so nervous.

"Met someone?" Merlin asked in confusion, but from the look on Arthur's face, he realised what he meant. Was he talking about Gwen? Somehow, it didn't seem like it. "A girl? You like her?"

Merlin couldn't tell you why, but something about saying that aloud made his heart sink.

"I don't know. Maybe."

Merlin nodded. "So, no disrespect sire, but what are you telling me for?"

Arthur looked up in confusion, as if he didn't really know either. "Have you ever been in love?" he suddenly asked.

"In love?" Merlin choked out. "You're in love?"

"Merlin, just answer the question."

Merlin was going to lie and say no, but then Freya's face flashed into his head and he closed his eyes, not wanting to remember. He didn't think about her often, but when he did, it hurt. He opened his eyes again and Arthur's eyebrows were creased together in concern. Somehow, looking at him made Merlin feel better. "Yeah, once," he managed to say.

"Before you worked for me?"

Again, he was going to lie, but the truth came out for some reason. "No."

"Why aren't you with them now?"

Merlin looked down into his hands. "She died," he finally said.

"She—oh. Okay, yes," Arthur said, springing up from his chair. "That's all. Polish that armour now, get out of here." If Merlin didn't know any better, he'd think that Arthur was expecting a specific answer and that the one Merlin had given was not what he wanted.

"Arthur," Merlin said, forgetting to use a respectful title, "are you alright?"

Arthur sputtered angrily for a moment. "Of course I'm alright. Go polish that armour!" he commanded.

"Right. Okay," Merlin said, picking up the armour and walking out the door.

As he did his chores, he sat and thought. Something about what Arthur had said… He was really upset about something. And, it seemed, somehow suspicious of Merlin. He didn't know what could have been going on, but he intended to find out.

He went to go find Arthur out in the training field first, since it was the most likely place he would be. He approached Sir Leon. "Where's Arthur?"

"He isn't here," Leon said, sounding surprised himself. "He never even came."

"That's odd."

"I thought so too. Nobody's seen him. Actually, I figured you might know where he was."

"I mean, I saw him this morning, but not for a few hours."

"Should we be worried?"

"I don't think so yet. I'll keep looking."

Leon nodded and Merlin walked back into the castle. He went to Arthur's chambers next, but they were empty too. It wasn't like Arthur to go off without telling anyone. Plus, if Uther found out, he might sound the alarm for a kidnapping. Arthur must not be thinking straight.

He went to see Gaius next. It was unlikely that Arthur was with Gaius, but sometimes Gaius just knew things, so he figured it wouldn't hurt to try.

"Have you seen Arthur?" Merlin asked as soon as he walked in.

"Actually, he came looking for you," Gaius said, "less than an hour ago."

"He did?"

"He was acting really strangely, actually. Said something about picking herbs…"

Merlin smiled. "Then I know where he is." Before Gaius could ask, he left the room and started out of the castle.

Really, it was just a hunch, but a lot of the time when Merlin said that he was picking herbs, Arthur figured he was actually in the tavern. Merlin had a feeling that he had told Gaius he'd be picking herbs so that Merlin would look for him at the tavern. Because, really, when would Arthur ever do any work for himself when he had Merlin to boss around?

When he reached the tavern, Arthur was sitting at a table alone. Well, he was wearing a cloak, so it was likely that nobody else knew it was him, but Merlin was sure. He sat down next to him.

"Fancied a break, did you?" Merlin asked. Arthur peeked over.

"You're smarter than I give you credit for," he said.

"So what's really wrong? You wouldn't have told Gaius that you were picking herbs unless you wanted me to be the one to find you."

"It's really silly."

Merlin was getting tired of hearing that today. "Is it?"

"Yeah. I wanted to talk to you in private, that's really the only reason I brought you here. I didn't want any chance that we'd be overheard. Here, even if we are overheard, nobody can tell who I am, so it doesn't matter."

"So what did you want to talk about?"

"The same thing as this morning. I thought maybe you weren't being honest because you didn't want anyone to hear."

"What on earth wouldn't I have been honest about?" Merlin asked, honestly confused.

Arthur looked over at him. "You're saying you've never been in love with anyone else?"

Merlin shook his head. "What is this about, Arthur? You're acting very strangely."

Arthur, to Merlin's confusion, grinned. "I knew Morgana was wrong!"

"What about Morgana?" Merlin demanded. Was Morgana spreading rumours or something? She did that sometimes when she was bored.

"She told me… oh, never mind, it's stupid. But she was wrong, so it doesn't matter," he said, getting up and walking from the tavern. Merlin followed him and grabbed his arm.

"If Morgana said something about me, I'd like to know what it is," Merlin said.

"I give the orders, Merlin, not you," he said harshly, glaring down at Merlin's hand gripped on his forearm.

Merlin rolled his eyes, but let go and put his hands up in surrender. "Fine, will you please tell me?"

Arthur was quiet again. "It's really silly," he finally said.

"You've said that several times now," Merlin noticed, crossing his arms.

"Are you trying to be menacing?"

"No, I'm just annoyed."

Arthur stomped rather immaturely. "Fine. But I'm telling you, it's ridiculous."

"I heard you the first fourteen times."

"Morgana told me… well, she told me that you had… feelings for me." There was a silence as the boys looked at each other. Then they both started laughing.

"Feelings? Honestly!" Merlin said, chuckling. "That's what this was about?"

"Yeah, weird huh? I thought you'd be upset when I told you."

"Why?"

"Because… I believed her at first."

Merlin's smiled faltered. "Yeah, why is that?"

"I don't know. Wasn't thinking, I guess."

"Right. Well anyway, I have work to do," Merlin said.

"Like you ever do work," Arthur retorted.

They parted ways and suddenly, Merlin's head had become very muddled. What Arthur had said seemed silly at first, as he was saying it was. Because Merlin couldn't have feelings for Arthur. They were both men, first of all. And really, he kind of hated Arthur sometimes. How could he feel anything romantic towards such a brutish, immature, arrogant… attractive, brave, funny…

Oh no. No no no no no.

Feelings for Arthur? It was stupid. It was outlandish. It was…

Well, after Merlin thought about it for a long time, he was frightened to realise that it kind of made sense. He had always cared for Arthur… maybe more than he should have.

Suddenly he wished he hadn't convinced Arthur to tell him what Morgana had been saying… because now that he had heard the words, they wouldn't get out of his head.

He walked around all day, considering it all. Did he truly have feelings for Arthur? The sheer fact that he had to think about it that long probably should have told him the answer, but he was mostly just hoping it wasn't true.