It was a rare moment when Seras Victoria entered Integra's office.

"Sir…I have a question."

Integra paused for a moment to tap her cigar on her ashtray.

"Yes, Victoria?"

"Well, I was wondering…how do you stay so calm and collected all the time?"

"That's easy, Seras. You just need to listen to the right music." Integra drew back her hair to show a small iPod-style earphone in her ear.

"Oh?" Seras was intrigued.

"Yes. Would you like to listen?"

"Oh yes please, Sir Hellsing!"

"Well then there you go." Integra took out the earphone and held it towards Seras, who received it to hear the soothing melody of Beethoven's 5th Symphony.

"Wow, that explains a lot. Thankyou for your time, Sir."

"No problem." Integra scowled quietly to indicate that it was a problem.

"Now, please leave my office so I can get on with this paperwork."


"Master?" Seras inquired, peering into Alucard's chamber. The vampire sat on a small chair, with his usual grin.

"Yes, police girl?"

"How do you stay so cool and um…'badass' all the time?"

"Well, that's easy. You just need to listen to the right music."

"Oh, not you too Master…"

"Would you like to listen?" Alucard asked, removing a black earphone from his ear which one could never have noticed under his hair.

"Might as well…" Seras sighed, assuming that since Alucard was, after all, quite an old vampire, he would probably listen to classical as well.

She put the headphone up to her ear…

LIBERATE! MY MADNEEEEEEEEEESS!

"Ahh!" Seras screamed, dropping the headphone.

"What's wrong police girl, don't like industrial metal?" Alucard grinned, singing along to Slipknot.

"Ehh…I should have known…" Seras grumbled, walking off.


Later, Anderson and Alucard were in a heated battle.

"?!"

"Alucard…is that…an earphone?!"

"Well yes, of course Judas Priest. Would you like to listen?"

"…I doubt I would like to hear what sort of heathen sounds go into your ears."

"Come on, please?" Alucard grinned.

"Grr…fine!"

I wanna slit your throat and f--k the wound
I wanna push my face in and feel the swoon
I wanna dig inside, find a little bit of me
Cuz the line gets crossed when you don't come clean

My wormwood meets your pesticide
You'll never get out, coz you were never alive
I am infinite, I am the infant finite
Come a little closer and I'll show you why

(NO ONE IS - SAFE)
Noises, noises, people make noises
people make noises when they're sick
Nothing to do except hold on to NOTHING

"AAH!" Anderson squealed and jumped. Alucard began to laugh maniacally.

"That's not even proper 'heathen' music, Anderson!" he cried, scrolling through his playlist.

"You want some of that? How's this?! Time for some REAL black metal!"

"NO, GET AWAY FROM ME!" Anderson cried as Alucard shoved the earphone into his ear.

Tiamat, Adramelch, Acheron, Baal
Burning up the city 'neath unholy citadel
Summoning Leviathan, ready to attack
Evil one awakens all the gods of Metal Black

Anderson froze and his pupils started to shrink. Massive riffs drummed into his head.

We come alive at the dawn of the night
We're raising hell and you know that it's right
The music screams on a wing and a prayer
We turn the volume up, come watch if you dare

Hear me calling - Join the pack
Raised in hellfire - Metal Black

Anderson started moving his mouth as if trying to speak, but nothing was coming out.

This ain't no music for light hearted folk
We tell it straight to the rich and the broke
We're long haired punks and we don't give a care
We turn the mayhem up, join in if you dare

Alucard turned the volume up to maximum.

Hear me calling - Join the pack
Raised in hellfire - Metal Black

The solo came in and Anderson started twitching.

A celebration of everything loud
This is the music to incite a crowd
Satanic forces lays everything bare
We turn the danger up, feel it in the air

Hear me calling - Join the pack
Raised in hellfire - Metal Black
Venom's calling - Join the pack
Raised in hellfire - Metal Black yeah


Metal F--king Black!

SHOOM! Anderson exploded in a shower of blood.

"...Well, that was easy." Alucard grinned and popped the earphone back into his ear.

Now Playing: Venom - Metal Black

Alucard watched the screen as it moved on to the next song.

Now Playing: Slayer - Angel of Death

Alucard sighed. "Aw, he missed out on Slayer. Oh well."