The Places That You've Come To Fear The Most
Disclaimer: I don't own Everwood or the song in the story. Blah Blah Blah.
[A/N: I love this song, and I listen to it way too much. And as I was listening this idea popped into my head. It sorta sucks but, whatever.]
*****
Buried deep as you can dig inside yourself,
And covered with a perfect shell,
Such a charming beautiful exterior.
Laced with brilliant smiles and shining eyes,
Perfect posture but your barely scraping by.
*****
Ephram sat in Geometry class. The teacher was droning on about right angles. He already knew all this crap. He had learned it in like eighth grade. He looked across the room at Amy. She looked sad. It made sense that she would be sad. I mean come on her boyfriend died over the summer. With the exception of the frown, and the sad look in her eyes, on the outside she was perfect. She sat perfectly straight, her make-up was flawless, her hair hung down her back just like it was supposed to, not one hair out of place. She glanced over at Ephram, flashed him a smile and turned back around. That was when she was sheer perfection, to the outside world. The sad look vanished, and her eyes got a shine to them, and her frown disappeared, only to be replaced with a perfect smile. Ephram got the feeling that she was fooling everyone. Everyone except him.
*****
This is one time
that you can't fake it hard enough to please everyone or anyone at all.
And the grave that you refuse to leave
The refuge that you've built to flee
the places you have come to fear the most.
Is the place that you've come to fear the most.
*****
"Amy!" Ephram called from down the hall.
"Hi," she greeted when caught up. She put a cheerful tone in her voice, but she didn't fool him.
"Amy, you're not fooling me, I can see you're still hurting. Hell, I know you're still hurting. It's why I'm in this god forsaken town."
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"You don't? Okay, fine then, meet me by the bike rack after school and I'll prove what I'm talking about."
"Fine."
*****
Buried deep as you can dig inside yourself,
Hidden in the public eye.
Such a stellar monument to loneliness.
Laced with brilliant smiles and shining eyes
Perfect makeup but you're barely scraping by.
*****
Amy was the center of the town now. She was the girlfriend of a dead guy. And the whole town knew. The whole town pitied her. Every time she walked down the street, everyone would stop and stare, or say that they were sorry it happened, or find another way to 'console' her. They didn't seem to realize that none of it helped. She had died with Colin, and no amount of staring, or 'I'm so sorry's were going to make it better.
*****
This is one time
That you can't fake it hard enough to please everyone or anyone at all.
And the grave that you refuse to leave
The refuge that you've built to flee
The places you have come to fear the most.
Is the place that you've come to fear the most.
*****
"Okay, so you were going to prove that I'm still hurting because of Colin's death," Amy said as she approached the bike rack, and Ephram's hunched over figure.
"And we're going to leave as I can this freakin' lock to work right."
"Leave? I thought we just argue it out."
"Well yes, but this argument requires a visual," Ephram said finally freeing his bike.
"Visual?" Amy replied skeptically.
"You'll see what I mean."
***
"You may now remove your blindfold," Ephram said. On the way to his 'visual' they had stopped at his house so he could get something to blind fold her with. He knew if he didn't she would protest. This of course meant he had to get off his bike and guide her.
He had lead her right to Colin's grave. Amy was not amused.
"Ephram, how could you? I thought you were my friend," Amy said, tears forming in her eyes.
"I am. And that's why we're here. I know what it's like to lose someone you love. You feel empty inside, like there's s chunk of you missing. You want to curl up and die, or jump into that grave with them, so at least you'll have someone to keep you company, even if they can't talk. You can't bring yourself to come back here, but you still use it as a refuge. You come back in your mind and see the grave, the headstone, everything. You can even feel the wind on your face. You continually flee here in your head every time you're lonely, and yet you can't come here in real life, because you're scared. But you know what? You can't be scared anymore. You can't hideout here anymore. You have to move on. It would be an insult to his memory if you didn't. You can still visit, but you can't stay here forever."
When Ephram finished, Amy was full out crying. She didn't understand how he could say those things to her. How he could think he knew everything about her.
"How..." Amy couldn't finish the thought, she didn't know how. But he knew what she meant.
"Because when my mom died I did the exact same thing. And I spent way too much time feeling sorry for myself that she was gone. See Amy, everyone else in the world thinks that you're fine. But I know better. I know all the signs. I can see the sad look in your eyes. So while you can fake it and get by with everyone else, I can see what's really wrong."
"Thank you."
Disclaimer: I don't own Everwood or the song in the story. Blah Blah Blah.
[A/N: I love this song, and I listen to it way too much. And as I was listening this idea popped into my head. It sorta sucks but, whatever.]
*****
Buried deep as you can dig inside yourself,
And covered with a perfect shell,
Such a charming beautiful exterior.
Laced with brilliant smiles and shining eyes,
Perfect posture but your barely scraping by.
*****
Ephram sat in Geometry class. The teacher was droning on about right angles. He already knew all this crap. He had learned it in like eighth grade. He looked across the room at Amy. She looked sad. It made sense that she would be sad. I mean come on her boyfriend died over the summer. With the exception of the frown, and the sad look in her eyes, on the outside she was perfect. She sat perfectly straight, her make-up was flawless, her hair hung down her back just like it was supposed to, not one hair out of place. She glanced over at Ephram, flashed him a smile and turned back around. That was when she was sheer perfection, to the outside world. The sad look vanished, and her eyes got a shine to them, and her frown disappeared, only to be replaced with a perfect smile. Ephram got the feeling that she was fooling everyone. Everyone except him.
*****
This is one time
that you can't fake it hard enough to please everyone or anyone at all.
And the grave that you refuse to leave
The refuge that you've built to flee
the places you have come to fear the most.
Is the place that you've come to fear the most.
*****
"Amy!" Ephram called from down the hall.
"Hi," she greeted when caught up. She put a cheerful tone in her voice, but she didn't fool him.
"Amy, you're not fooling me, I can see you're still hurting. Hell, I know you're still hurting. It's why I'm in this god forsaken town."
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"You don't? Okay, fine then, meet me by the bike rack after school and I'll prove what I'm talking about."
"Fine."
*****
Buried deep as you can dig inside yourself,
Hidden in the public eye.
Such a stellar monument to loneliness.
Laced with brilliant smiles and shining eyes
Perfect makeup but you're barely scraping by.
*****
Amy was the center of the town now. She was the girlfriend of a dead guy. And the whole town knew. The whole town pitied her. Every time she walked down the street, everyone would stop and stare, or say that they were sorry it happened, or find another way to 'console' her. They didn't seem to realize that none of it helped. She had died with Colin, and no amount of staring, or 'I'm so sorry's were going to make it better.
*****
This is one time
That you can't fake it hard enough to please everyone or anyone at all.
And the grave that you refuse to leave
The refuge that you've built to flee
The places you have come to fear the most.
Is the place that you've come to fear the most.
*****
"Okay, so you were going to prove that I'm still hurting because of Colin's death," Amy said as she approached the bike rack, and Ephram's hunched over figure.
"And we're going to leave as I can this freakin' lock to work right."
"Leave? I thought we just argue it out."
"Well yes, but this argument requires a visual," Ephram said finally freeing his bike.
"Visual?" Amy replied skeptically.
"You'll see what I mean."
***
"You may now remove your blindfold," Ephram said. On the way to his 'visual' they had stopped at his house so he could get something to blind fold her with. He knew if he didn't she would protest. This of course meant he had to get off his bike and guide her.
He had lead her right to Colin's grave. Amy was not amused.
"Ephram, how could you? I thought you were my friend," Amy said, tears forming in her eyes.
"I am. And that's why we're here. I know what it's like to lose someone you love. You feel empty inside, like there's s chunk of you missing. You want to curl up and die, or jump into that grave with them, so at least you'll have someone to keep you company, even if they can't talk. You can't bring yourself to come back here, but you still use it as a refuge. You come back in your mind and see the grave, the headstone, everything. You can even feel the wind on your face. You continually flee here in your head every time you're lonely, and yet you can't come here in real life, because you're scared. But you know what? You can't be scared anymore. You can't hideout here anymore. You have to move on. It would be an insult to his memory if you didn't. You can still visit, but you can't stay here forever."
When Ephram finished, Amy was full out crying. She didn't understand how he could say those things to her. How he could think he knew everything about her.
"How..." Amy couldn't finish the thought, she didn't know how. But he knew what she meant.
"Because when my mom died I did the exact same thing. And I spent way too much time feeling sorry for myself that she was gone. See Amy, everyone else in the world thinks that you're fine. But I know better. I know all the signs. I can see the sad look in your eyes. So while you can fake it and get by with everyone else, I can see what's really wrong."
"Thank you."
