A/N: I have tailored this story to be as close to the Total Drama series as possible. I am 100% certain that if Total Drama is greenlit for a seventh season, this would be the result.

This season does not have the shortened theme song that was used in All-Stars and Pahkitew Island. Instead, they just display the title card for 3 seconds. Also, this season is 13 episodes, but Fresh TV decided to cut the episode length down to 11 minutes for... reasons...


Total Drama: Revenge of the Film Set

Episode 1: The Beginning of the Most Painful, Brutal, Baddest and Hilarious and Dramatic Season Ever!


Chris MacLean jumped in front of the camera on a movie set. "Welcome to season seven of Total Drama, everybody! This season we're bringing back fourteen of your favorite contestants ever, and this time we're back at the abandoned movie set from season two! Yep, no new locations, we're just rehashing... I mean... reusing one of your favorite locations! So, let's welcome our contestants!"

A helicopter hovered a hundred feet above Chris. Duncan was shoved out of the helicopter, falling until he landed hard on the concrete with his legs split. He cried out in pain and grabbed his crotch.

Chris pointed at him and laughed. "Haha, you fell on your testicles! That's hilarious!"

Then Owen fell on top of Duncan and farted really loud, followed by splattering noises. "Whoops, I don't think that was an actual fart..." Then he jumped into the air, his pants making squishy noises as he cheered. "Woo-hooo! It's great to be back Chris!"

"Yep, great to slice you once again... I mean mince you... I mean mangle... uh... hello, Owen!" Chris said.

Courtney landed next to them, smacking the concrete so hard that she lost a tooth. "OW! You'll be hearing from my lawyers!"

Max landed on top of Courtney, then Dave on top of Max. "Revenge!" Max shouted.

"Why did you do this to me?" Dave said. "I'm a nice guy! You shouldn't throw nice guys out of planes, Chris. And also, there's germs here!" He looked around after Max and Courtney shoved him off. "Also, where's Sky? I want to attempt to murder her again!"

"You didn't bring the backstabbing boyfriend stealer back, did you?" Courtney said.

"Um, you were all in the same helicopter," Chris said. "Anyway, next we have-"

Owen farted and laughed. And then he farted again, but wet, gooey noises filled the air. "I'm gonna need new pants," Owen said. "Because I farted." He laughed. "Farts sure are funny!" Then he farted again. "Okay, seriously, though, I'm pretty sure I'm also pooping in my pants. Poop is funny! Haha."

Then Sugar landed on Owen's shoulders. "Did you see me posing while I fell? I'm a natural pageant queen!" She sniffed the air and laughed. "Ooh, looks like someone had to much cabbage. Was it you, big guy?"

Owen struggled to hold Sugar on his shoulders. His face was growing red. "Erp... yeah..."

She slid off of Owen and farted herself. "My oh my, farting sure is funny!"

"Yes it is!" Owen said.

Owen and Sugar exchanged farts for a full minute before Chris continued. "Ah, this is a season the fans are just going to love. Yep, we're bringing the funniest characters back, just for you, Total Drama fans! Which reminds me, here's Scott!"

Scott landed on his crotch like Duncan. He cried like a baby while Chris laughed. "Well, at least Fang isn't here."

Then Fang landed on top of Scott, picked him up with his mouth, and ran off.

"Ha, good riddance," Courtney said.

"Wow, that's cold," Duncan said.

Courtney kicked him in the balls. "Oh shut up!"

Then Gwen landed on top of Courtney. "Why? Why am I here again!"

"I know," Chris aid. "Some of you should be dead after floating away on Owen's hilarious farty balloons in All-Stars." He chuckled to himself. "Haha. Teenagers dying. Now that's comedy!"

Heather landed next to Gwen in a wheelchair. She was covered in bandages and bite marks. Also, she was bald again.

"Look, everybody! A bald contestant! Isn't that hilarious?" A laugh track played for Chris before he threw his hand on Heather's shoulder. "In All-Stars, Heather and Alejandro were chased by fang. And this is the result! Look, everybody! A contestant is crippled for life! Laugh! LAUGH AT TEENAGERS WITH DISABILITIES!" Chris put his hands behind his back proudly. "Also, Alejandro can't come back. After his encounter with fang in the All-Stars finale, he ended up looking even worse than Heather."

The scene cut away to a figure in a hospital bed, completely wrapped in bandages. The heart monitor next to the bandaged figure started to flatline, indicating that the patient may be dying.

"Yep, Alejandro has been in a vegetative state since the end of All-Stars. He'll never walk, talk, think, or pretty much act like he's alive again. Not even the robot suit could save him this time." Chris gave two thumbs up to the camera. "COMEDY!"

Zoey and Mike gently floated to the ground in parachutes.

"I was kind enough to give these two parachutes, though," Chris said. "Because I know how much you Total Drama fans loooove Zoey and Mike!"

"Mike Mike Mike!" Zoey said. "Mike, Mike Mike Mike?"

"Zoey! Zoey Zoey, Zoey Zoey Zoey!" Mike said.

"Yes, you love each other," Chris said. "Good for you. Next!"


Zoey's Confessional:

Mike? Mike Mike Mike Mike? Mike, Mike Mike Mike Miiiike Mike. Mike Mike..." She tapped her chin. "Mike Mike, Mike Mike Mike!" She sighed and shrugged her shoulders. "Mike Mike. Mike."


"Welp, now that I introduced the ultimate fan-favorites, here's a few other characters you probably don't care about as much," Chris said.

Jasmine, Shawn and Sky plummeted onto the sidewalk.

"Also, just for the record," Chris said. "Even though Shawn won last season, I planted a bomb in the suitcase full of cash. So when he opened it... kaboom. His money blew up. So Shawn didn't get to keep the million dollars. Haha! Isn't that hilarious?" He pointed two thumbs up to the camera and stuck his tongue out. "COMEDY!"

"Zoey, Zoey," MIke said. "Zoey Zoey Zoey?"

"Excellent quesiton, Mike," Chris said. "I will now split you into two teams: The Screaming Gaffers 2.0, and The Killer Grips 2.0."


The Screaming Gaffers 2.0: Courtney, Dave, Duncan, Gwen, Heather, Jasmine, Sky

The Killer Grips 2.0: Max, Mike, Owen, Shawn, Scott, Sugar, Zoey


"Now for your first challenge!" Chris said. "Meet me in Studio B6 in fifteen minutes."

The contestants walked across the film lot. Though, in Heather's case, she wheeled across the film lot, in her wheelchair.

"Now that Scarlett is gone," Max said. "I won't have an incompetent minion to hold me back. I can be as eeeevil as possible now!"

"These film studios look like zombie bunkers," Shawn said.

Jasmine rolled her eyes. "Yes, Shawn, you happen to like zombies."


Jasmine's Confessional:

"I love Shawn, I really do, but his obsession with zombies is starting to annoy me. It's the only thing I don't like about him. I'm thinking maybe I should just break up with him."


"Shawn, I break up with you," Jasmine said.

"What?" Shawn said. "Really?"

"Yep. Our relationship is officially over. In an instant," Jasmine said, waving her hands in the air. "Poof. Like that. Poof."

"Well, that sucks," Shawn said.


Shawn's Confessional:

"Great, now that Jasmine broke up with me, I just might go crazy! So crazy that I'll cost my team the challenge and get voted off. But knowing this show, that will probably never happen. I'm sure this is all just a big misunderstanding, and me and Jasmine will be able to solve our conflict and get back on track."


Everyone gathered in front of Chris in the movie studio. "Alright, teenagers who will soon be murdered by my deadly challenges," Chris said. "Today's challenge will be based on robot movies. You'll have to kill the robots, or be killed!" Chris threw his head back and gave a hearty, maniacal laugh. "Mwahahahaa!"

"Your evil laugh needs some work," Max said. He bent over and rubbed his hands together. "However, this shall be the perfect time for me to turn these robots into my robot slaves!"

"Zoey Zoey Zoey?" Mike asked.

Zoey shrugged. "Mike MIke MIke."

"Hey Duncan, guess what?" Courtney said.

"What?"

Courtney kicked him in the balls. "I hate you!" Then she punched Gwen in the face. "And you!" Then she kicked Scott in the balls. "Also, we're never getting back together, Scott!"

"Nothing prompted that," Jasmine said.

"Yeah, well nothing prompted your birth!" Courtney shouted. "Grrr, I'm so angry! I'm going to eliminate you all by calling my lawyers!"

The army of robots started firing lasers at the contestants. Everyone ran around in a panic, except for Heather, who got electrocuted by the lasers since her wheelchair wasn't fast enough. Chris pointed at her and laughed so hard that he cried. "Yes, suffer my pretties. Suffer!" Chris said.

Dave picked up an ax that came out of nowhere and chased after Sky. "This is for not going out with a nice guy like me!"

Sky screamed in horror as Dave swung his ax, accidentally destroying robots in the process.

"Wow, looks like Dave's really helping his team out," Chris said.

"Chris, make him stop!" Sky said.

"But it's been seven seasons and nobody died onscreen yet!" Chris said. "I want someone to die on this show already!"

Owen and Sugar farted on several robots, which caused the robots to explode. They high-fived in each other. "Wow, you're almost as good as the wizard I had a crush on last season!" Sugar said. "Except you don't need a magic wand to create clouds of green smoke!"

Owen blushed, then farted. Sugar farted again. The two shared a laugh, farting while laughing.

"Death to Gwen, Duncan and Scott!" Courtney said, ripping a robot's head off and throwing it at Duncan, Gwen and Scott.


Gwen's Confessional:

"It's not even worth it to try and be friends with Courtney anymore," Gwen said. "It's like everytime she starts to act nice again, her entire personality does a 180. Don't tell me she has multiple personalities."


Shawn ran around in circles, screaming and crying. "Oh, Jasmine, why? WHHYYY?" He found a switch on the wall and grabbed in. "Maybe this is a time machine. Maybe I can go back in time and save myself from getting dumped by her!"


Shawn's Confessional:

His eyes were bloodshot. He twitched and grinned a creepy, insane grin. "Me? Crazy? I'm not going crazy! Nope, not me!"


Shawn flipped the switch.

"Robot enhancements acitvated," a robotic voice said over an intercom.

All of the robots turned toward The Killer Grips 2.0 and zapped them with lasers, knocking them unconscious.

"Welp, looks like everyone but Shawn on The Killer Grips 2.0 is unconscious," Chris said before rubbing his hands together devilishly. "Or dead! Looks like The Screaming Gaffers 2.0 win! Plus, Dave is really racking up the dead robots."

Dave continued to swung his ax, destroying robot after robot as he chased after Sky. "Death to Sky! Death to Sky! Death to Sky!" he chanted.


Owen, Sugar, Mike, Zoey, Shawn, Max and Scott gathered at The Gilded Chris ceremony. Chef stood next to Chris in a dress, holding a plate of Gilded Chris'. "See? Chef is in this episode!" Chris said before taking the plat of Gilded Chris awards. "Okay, you can leave, Chef."

Chef walked off the stage as Chris threw a Gilded Chris as Mike and Zoey. "Mike and Zoey are automatically safe until the merge for being such big fan favorites. Seriously, I wouldn't be a good host if I let the most beloved characters in the fandom get eliminated early!"

"Mike Mike, Mike!" Zoey said, catching the Gilded Chris.


Sugar's Confessional:

"Who does Chris think he is, making those two string beans immune until the mere?" She crossed her arms and farted. "He should make me immune until the merge! I mean, I'm the best there is." She farted again, then stood up and started unzipping her pants. "Whoops, time for Sugar to lay a brick."

A makeup artist in the background gasped in horror as she said, "Um, excuse me, but this isn't a bathroom, it's a makeup trailer..."


Owen's Confessional:

Owen bent over the seat and stared at it with a wide smile on his face. "Hey, look. Someone left me a present on this chair. Cool." Then he farted.


"There is only one Gilded Chris left," Chris said.

Max crossed his arms with a smug look on his face. "As if anyone would have the guts to vote off evil such as I."

Shawn's bloodshot eyes were spinning around in circles as drool dripped from his mouth. "Jasmine... zombie... breakup... la dee da dee daaaa..."

"Shawn, since you've gone insane after Jasmine's breakup with you," Chris said. "I'm forced to say that you've been eliminated." He threw a Gilded Chris at Max, which hit him in the face.


Shawn was stuffed in-between Owen's butt cheeks, still mumbling to himself as more drool ran from his lips. Owen was bent over a cliff with his hands on his knees.

"And this is The Fart of Shame," Chris said. "This season, eliminated victims get farted out of Owen's butt. COMEDY! Hit it, Owen!"

Owen farted so hard that Shawn was blasted high into the night sky until he could be seen no more.

"Wait, what happens if I get eliminated?" Owen said.

"Eh, you'll ride the Lame-o-sine," Chris said. "But you'll have to come back every night to perform The Fart of Shame if you don't mind."

"No way!" Owen threw his hands in the air. "I love farting!"


Sugar's Confessional:

"I can't believe it! The Fart of Shame? Why ain't I the one doin' it? I can fart ten times better than Owen can." She pulled out a small trophy. "Back home, I'm the fart champion in the annual farting contest five years runnin'!" Then she farted.


"And that concludes the first episode of Total Drama: Revenge of the Film Set!" Chris said. "See you next week for more excitement, more drama, more action, and more COMEDY, folks!"