Dudley's Girls

AN: Anyone who gets the last sentence without having to think deserves a cookie (it's easy, don't worry!)

"Get the door, boy!" Vernon Dursley bellowed to his nephew, his eyes never leaving the paper when the doorbell had rung. Dudley glanced out the window out of the side of his beady eyes then did a double take.

"I'll get it!" He yelped quickly. He hurried to the door, pausing only to glare at his cousin, who promptly made a face of his own before heading up the stairs. Dudley considered telling his father but another ring from the doorbell decided against it. Dudley smoothed his hair and straightened up, sucking in his gut, and opened the door, smiling what he thought must be charmingly and seductively.

The two beautiful young women smiled back at him. "Hello." One of the two, the redhead, said politely, grinning impishly, her short Jean shorts and bottle green top a shocking contrast to her hair.

"Good morning." Dudley said back, eyeing them both up and down with delight.

"You must be Dudley!" The brunette said quickly. Dudley turned his roaming eyes off her black mini skirt and blue tee to her face.

"Are we related?" He asked sharply. What a waste it would be to have to keep to himself if they

were relatives. At least, if they were close relatives.

"Good heavens, no!" The redhead cried, appalled. The brunette flashed her a teasing smile.

"Though you'd like to be, right?" The redhead elbowed her friend viciously, blushing completely. Dudley leered at her and she quickly changed the topic.

"My, what a beautiful large house!" She said, glancing inside. Dudley stepped back and gestured in with his large hand.

"Come in, won't you?" Both women murmured a thank you and entered the house, bending over to undo their shoes. Dudley admired the view from behind them for a moment before the brunette straightened up, obviously waiting for directions are where to go next. Dudley paused for a moment. His father was in the den, that wouldn't work. The kitchen was occupied by his mother, his bedroom might shock gently bred ladies, that might be saved for a little after.

"Come, into the dining room." He decided finally, leading them off. "Tea?" Both women nodded and Dudley left the room.

"Who was at the door, son?" Vernon asked.

"In the dining room." Was all Dudley said. Vernon slipped out of the den to peer into the dining room for a moment then came back in and he and his son shared the same greasy self-satisfied smile. The seventeen year old tank of lard bumbled into the kitchen, where he explained to his mother what was going on. He then ran up to his bathroom, shaving the stubble of his face and smoothing his shirt. When he came back down his mother had given the young women their tea and was talking with them. She saw Dudley out of the corner of her eye and bit goodbye to the girls, promising to see them later.

"Charming girls!" She whispered to her son as she left.

"I see you've met my mother." Dudley said as he sat down before the two guests, glancing down the low loose collar of the redhead's shirt. He settled himself across from them and leered again, missing the slight look of disgust that passed their pretty faces fleetingly.

"Yes, she's very kind." The brunette said, but again Dudley missed her forcefulness in the words.

"Did we attend school together?" Dudley asked then tried to take the words back. They sounded

like something his abnormal cousin would say. Definitely not smooth. Both girls shook their heads.

"No. We go to a private boarding school." The brunette explained with a giggle from the redhead into her tea. The brunette kicked her friend under the table and smiled sweetly back up at Dudley.

"I go to Smeltings." Dudley boasted, leaning back in his chair. The brunette nodded but the redhead's face showed confusion until the brunette glared at her.

"Lovely day today, isn't it?" The brunette said instead. Dudley was just about to answer her when the redhead jabbed her in the side. She smiled apologetically.

"Very sorry, Dudley, but my older brother didn't want us to take very long. He's very protective." Her face darkened slightly as she said the last but the brunette nodded.

"Yes, that's right. We'll just gathered what we need and then we must be on our way." The brunette took another sip of her tea while the redhead downed it all roguishly with a wink. Dudley's mind still seemed to dwell on what she had said.

"What you need? What might that be?" Just at that moment though, his idiot of a cousin came into the room. Both young women yelped and Dudley was about to yell at him to get out when the when the two women threw themselves at his cousin.

"We've missed you, Harry!" The brunette cried pulling back. The redhead, having suddenly lost her spunk after hugging his cousin, only nodded, blushing slightly.

"I've missed you too, Hermione, Ginny." Harry responded. Dudley started to sputter incoherently. His cousin grinned evilly. "I see you've met my friends from school." He was trying to contain himself but it didn't work and the last part came out with a pure maliciously taunting look. "The two finest witches at school, they are." He dropped one hand around each girls' shoulder. The redhead grinned slightly, her attitude returning.

"Best not let Ron catch you with your arm on Hermione, Harry. They've been getting rather territorial about each other." The brunette blushed and reached across Harry's shoulder to hit the redhead teasingly.

"He'd be rather protective of you if Harry keeps his arm there when Ron sees him." The brunette grinned. "You know Ron won't take to the idea of you with a boy easily. Last I heard that Ravenclaw boy wasn't even out of the hospital yet."

"He'll get used to it." Harry laughed, tightening his arm around the redhead slightly. All three turned their attention back to a stunned Dudley. Harry ran up the steps for his things, leaving the women.

"He is what we came to get." The brunette explained gently. "Harry's spending the rest of the summer with us, as usual."

"My brothers usually come to get him." The redhead continued as Harry came bounding back down the steps with his things. "You've met a few of them. The twins and Ron. And my father came, too." Dudley's hand instantly covered his mouth, touching his tongue slightly. All three laughed humorously.

"Well, we really must be off." The brunette said cheerily.

"Yes." The redhead sounded almost glum. "Mum wants us to de-gnome the garden again." She and the brunette reached for his cousin's owl, talking to her quietly.

"Yes, well, must be off!" Harry said cheerfully. "Tell your mum and dad I'm gone, then. Be

seeing you, Dudley." Harry hoisted his trunk under one arm, balancing it nicely, and used one arm, placed on the redhead's shoulder, to guide her towards the door.

"Thanks for the tea!" She called out behind her, bending down to pick up her shoes, the brunette's, and a pair of Harry's.

"Yes, thank you Dudley." The brunette added, following them with the owl. "Very lovely. Bye now!" The redhead had grabbed her friend's arm and all ran outside, slamming the door shut behind them, bursting with laughter over something.

Dudley Dursley stood in shook for a moment before waddling into the den to his parents.

"Well? Where are the young girls?" Vernon asked, glancing up at his son suggestively. "One of them would make a nice friend."

"Left with Harry." Dudley managed. "From his school." His parents also sat stunned.

"Not all that pretty, they were." Vernon said after a bit. "Probably did some abnormal thing to make themselves look even human."

"Awful, I say. Impolite and sneaky, the way they looked about." Petunia added. "Like they were going to steal something! That's it, they must have! I'll go count the silverware and you'd best make sure all your things are still there." Dudley stood up to obey, popping a brightly colored candy that looked oddly familiar from on the dining room table into his mouth thoughtlessly.