There's this guy I know
He's not doing so well
And I don't think he'd mind
If you called just to tell
Him you love him.
I think that would help him.
"Hey, Man," I said to Tom from the doorway of the G- Major kitchen. I went into the kitchen to get a sandwich when Jude and I were taking a lunch break from recording her new song.
Tommy didn't respond.
"Listen, I'm sorry that you and Jude had another fight."
"Stay out!" Tom yelled at me, with venom in his voice. His eyes were bloodshot, and the usually very well shaved Tom, had a five o' clock shadow. Even his usually gelled hair looked like he over- gelled it so much that it looked dandruff-y.
"Maybe you should call her, apologize," I suggested.
"I said, stay out!" Tom shouted again, his voice growing weaker, like his lungs just couldn't find the air to make him breathe.
And even through Tom's dying vigor, which reminded me of a wilting rose, I still wanted to tell Tom to get his act together. I mean, he got me the gig here at G- Major, but he's also been one of my best buds for a long time. Not as long as Sadie and Jude have "known each other", but it's still a pretty long time.
"Just call her, and tell her the truth!" The words finally escaped my mouth like a brisk mid- winter blizzard. So hard that it blows all emotion up, and allows it to disseminate like fog in San Francisco.
"I said…" Tom fused, his fists tightening up, and all of the muscles in his body flexing.
Tom let out an enormous sign of exhaustion, anger, hate, and pain, and tumbled over to the wall. He then raised his fists, and hit the wall so hard that you could hear the bones in his hands crack. I'm sure that any rodent in the walls of this building would have been terrified, and permanently scathed so bad that they would never return to their abode in these walls again.
He's been down for days
And I don't know what to do
He's been holding his pillow like it's you
His state's so depressing
His room smells like crying
"He did what?" My girlfriend, Sadie asked me, over the phone. Her voiced sounded shocked, but not surprised. Like she knew that Tommy was bound to hit the wall, but she just did not expect that to be so literal.
"I tried to talk to him, but he got angry, and hit the wall. D finally got him to go to the hospital." I explained to Sadie.
"Wow. I mean, Jude's been upset, too. She threw Dad's records everywhere. I'm pretty sure that she snapped his collector's edition of "My Girl". I couldn't do anything, but eventually I got a hold of Mason, and called him in for damage control."
"I know. I've seen him creep to where the grand piano is kept, several times."
"Tom plays the piano?" Sadie asked with sudden interest.
"Guitar, too. He's smarter then we give him credit for," I notified Sadie.
"And stupider sometimes, too," Sadie let out a small laugh.
"Now you're not thinking about hooking up with Tom again, are you?" I asked my girlfriend. I mean, we finally talked about it, and we're cool now. Sadie and I have decided to be 100 percent honest with each other, now that we know what happens when we don't talk. Now if only Tom and Jude could do the same…
"Yeah."
"And the entire atmosphere feel damp," Sadie told me. "You know?"
"Yeah," I told Sadie honestly.
Growing up with three sisters, I naturally always heard about heartbreak, and I've seen tons of chick- flicks as a result. I'm use to being around the woman chaos. I'm used to that sweet and muggy feeling in the air after something goes wrong. Tom just never got that; he's great guy, but he's always disappeared so that he wouldn't have to be there to "Pick up the pieces".
And I know,
He loves you more than breathing
More than being happy.
I know,
He loves you like it's tearing him apart.
Tom loves Jude more than he loves pretty much anything else. Tom would die for "His girl"; I have no doubt about that. Tom always liked a good challenge, a girl that was hard to get. Then Jude came in, and she was far higher on the whack- o- meter than he could hammer. He had his eye on the prize, so he just kept on forging his money over to the guy, until finally he could reach her.
I know that Tom couldn't stand the fact that Jude was loosing herself to "the business", yet she was on top of the world. I know that Jude couldn't stand that Barbie models constantly surrounded Tom. But I also know that Tom gave up Jude, so that she could have her career, and so that he could save Jude from all of the heartbreaks that he would give her. And I know that this ruined Tom, and made him be in a state of decadence worse than when Romeo thought that Juliet was dead, even though she was only under a sleeping potion at the time.
His relationship with Jude, along with all of the slime that he's been through honestly has pulled Tommy like his every limb is being pulled in every imaginable direction. This was truly tearing him apart.
There's a guy outside your window
With a cracked guitar
And a broken heart
But I don't think you hear him, though
I don't think you hear him…
And he's been going where the wind blows
He's taken shelter by your house
But you're not coming out
My best friend says "Believe"
I remember when Tom used to sit for hours playing his guitar around where Jude was in G- Major, hoping that he would catch her eye. Tom would act like a buffoon. When Shakespeare said that "love is blind", he may not have known Tom, but the quote sure fit Tom's love for Jude.
"Kwest, why is Tom outside Jude's window?" I remember Sadie calling me up one late Saturday evening.
"Tom's at your house?" I practically chocked. "Outside of Jude's window?" I asked for clarification. I mean, Jude's like one of my little sisters. And when your little sister is dating your best friend, you can't help but feel a little bit over- protective, you know?
"Yeah," Sadie confirmed, as I heard bunched of stomping and crashing noises. " It looks like he's… throwing pebbles at her window?" I got an image in my head of Sadie's face on the window, squinting her eyes trying to figure out what exactly Tom was doing in her yard.
"Does Jude know?" I asked Sadie.
"No," I heard Sadie frown. "She's blasting her music, so she can't hear anything," Sadie and I had known each other and been dating long enough to be able to hear her hidden emotions in her voice. I mean, we were no Tom and Jude, but sometimes I think that we might have just been born with better communication skills. And no musical abilities to write "hate" songs about the other.
"Oh," I responded. Although, I should have guessed that the outcome of Tom and Jude's relationship would not be pretty until D forces them to write another hit, and they end up hooking up during a late night at the studio.
Tom told me that nothing has been the same with Jude since he asked her to, "Believe in me… again…" but Jude only responded, "I was too," then shook he head 'no'.
He walks by your house every night around 12
Sits a block away- a safe distance
He dwells on mixed feelings
He thinks about dying.
"This is the tenth day that he's done this, Kwest!" Sadie told me on the phone.
"Tenth?" I asked, not really sure if Sadie was just pulling my leg. However, this did sound exactly like something that Tom would do to get Jude back.
"Yeah, insane, I know," Sadie, confessed in that "Sadie tone" that she sometimes uses.
"Sadie," I said, my voice said rapidly turning serious.
"Hm?" Sadie asked, not fully aware of what I was about to tell her.
"Tom says that he doesn't see the point in living if Jude's not in his life."
"Honestly?" Sadie asked.
"Honestly. I'm not kidding Sades. I think that Tom's in love with Jude."
"I should have known," I heard Sadie say, not really to me, on the other end of the line.
"Sadie, I understand if you still have feelings for Tom, but it you do, please tell me now," I pleaded, not wanting the numbness burn to subside.
"I don't still have feelings for Tom, Kwest," Sadie told me straight- forward. "It's just that I think that Jude might still be in love with him, too."
"Her, too? They're hopeless!" I commented.
"Tell me about it!" I could hear Sadie roll her eyes.
He talks to himself, but he's talking to you
In his head you can hear him like this
Through the curtains and window
He bids you good night now.
"How's 'Operation Jommy' going?" Sadie asked me one day at G- Major.
"Okay. But Tom's been practicing his apology speech for days!" I told Sadie, pointing to where Tommy was talking to himself in the corner of an empty studio (we saw him through the glass window).
"Yeah, and he's still stopping by at night. And I think that Jude might hear him now, because he always says it louder, while as he use to just say it quieter, and more to himself.
"Tom and Jude are truly and inseparable pair," I commented to no one in particular, and mostly to myself.
My best friend says
Believe in everything that you've got going on
Just believe in Me!
Just believe in Me!
And "Need", now there's a word that you can't comprehend
But know it lives with Me!
Know it lives.
Two days past, I'm beginning to see a change in Tom. Not noticeable changes, per say, but just those small ones that the general air around Tom is a lot less dark. His hand has even almost all the way healed.
Tom and Jude are inseparable, again, and even by m standards, it makes me want to gag. I'm always hearing about their passionate kisses, the way Jude helps tend to Tommy's hand, or those late nights in the studio. I'm hearing about all about their relationship, and the kinds of things that Tommy would never dare talk about back during his "rebellious days".
Tom and Jude both shared the need to have each other. It's like their love is so strong, but yet so fragile. It's intricate beyond any of those movies that I've ever seen. And Sadie and I are among the few people who understand that. And Sadie and I both know that we will always be second to Tom and Jude, but never to each other. Sadie and I need each other too. If not for the other, but because Tom and Jude seem to need guardians very much.
But they also need faith in the other, and to believe in each other again, which they do.
My only friend is a guy outside your window…
Tom may not always be outside of Jude's window. In just a few months, Jude will be off touring again, and her and Tom won't see each other for quite a long time. But Tom and Jude have both learned to withstand the issues of pressure, because Tom in no longer just outside of Jude's window, but he is also in her heart. And that is the bond of Tom and Jude that cannot be broken.
Disclaimer: I do not own "Instant Star", any of its characters, or some of the quotes, which were from the show. I also do not own the song ""My Only Friend" by Ronnie Day.
A/ N: Thank you so much for reading this fic! I really hope that you enjoyed it! Anyways, any feedback/ reviews would be appreciated:-)
