A/N: Hello again readers, guess who's back after a long, dry spell? To those of you who have read and reviewed my other stories, welcome to my first Death Note fanfic and welcome to any new readers as well. Yes, I couldn't escape this fandom forever. Ironically this story is not one of the ones I was planning to publish, but rather a completely different one-shot that came to me out of the blue. Oh well, such is the fickle nature of the muse. I hope you enjoy this and I beg your pardon if the formatting looks a bit odd. FF likes to screw with my line spacing.
On a side note, to those of you reading The Dark Tower, rest assured that it has not been abandoned. I'm only trying to get motivated again and I hope that working on other stuff will help me get my act together and finish it.
Disclaimer: Alas, I am not brilliant enough to have written such an excellent series as Death Note. All rights belong to their respective copyright holders, and I am making no money off this work of fiction.
Warnings: Sex, angry sex, may be taken as non-consensual. This is a bit more explicit than any of my previous works and also unbetaed, but I'm a stickler for grammar, so it should be readable.
"Don't think that a human that uses the Death Note can go to heaven or hell,"
-
The Shinigami had lied.
Nothingness was a huge, empty desert, trapped in a perpetual twilight, with treacherous sands that stung his face and slid beneath his ragged shoes. His throat parched in the heat, his stomach growled, he lost all sense of time, and in that huge wasteland, he never saw another soul.
A lesser man might have given up, but his fevered mind refused to let his body, scarred by gunshot wounds and gaunt with hunger, rest. His aching legs continued to carry him forward in an aimless direction.
It might have been weeks, or months that he traveled, but then his ankle gave beneath him and he fell, flinching as sand scraped the hand which flew out to break his fall. He knelt for a few moments, dizzy with the heat, silently commanding his body to raise, his tongue too dry to curse.
-
"Matsuda, you idiot!"
-
Something soft settled around him, enveloping him, blocking out the purplish light and he struggled against it, clawing. It fell around him and he saw that it was only a robe, heavy and of an indeterminate pale color. He gathered it to him, wrapping it over his ragged suit, sharp eyes, glazed and blurry from the dry heat of the desert, snapping up.
A stranger, robed in black, stood there, face hidden by a voluminous hood. A pale hand emerged and beckoned.
"Come," the voice was low and masculine.
His teeth bared in affront at the command. He opened his mouth to snarl a refusal, but his throat was closed and the words refused to come. So he sat still, mutely stubborn.
The stranger sighed and stepped closer, hand extended. Still he turned his face away. A grunt of anger and then his wrist was seized in a painful grip. It was the left one, marked by metal with a pale stripe and he flinched, but before he could shake the hold he was yanked roughly to his feet.
-
"Do you really need to go this far, Ryuzaki?"
-
His legs buckled beneath him and he found himself gripping at the stranger's robes in an effort to stay upright. Hands slid beneath his arms and he was transferred to the stranger's side, an arm sliding around his waist. They lurched forward across the sand.
He had nearly fallen asleep against the stranger's shoulder when he felt himself being lowered to the sand. He rolled onto his side, blinking in confusion, and jerked upright.
The stranger was kneeling by a pool of water, hands cupped to scoop up the liquid, but he was already clawing past the man, thrusting his face down into the pool.
He barely tasted the brackish water, gulping it in long swallows until he could hold no more and was violently sick. He crawled back to the water and drank again eagerly, if a bit more slowly.
As his desperation faded a bit, he found himself glancing at his companion out of the corner of his eye, half hoping to get a glimpse of a face beneath the hood. But the stranger, sipping from cupped hands, did not pull the folds of fabric away. When the stranger was finished, he stood and dried his hands on his robes before reaching inside and retrieving a small package wrapped in brown cloth.
He scrambled and missed it as it was tossed at his feet, scooping it up and brushing the sand off. Unwrapping the package he discovered a mass of small brown fruits with a sweet scent.
"I don't like sweets," he rasped, almost an automatic reaction. He would have eaten rotting carrion at this point.
A soft snort, "I know,"
He pried one of small ovals from the mass. It was thick between his teeth and swallowing was painful, but his body relished it. He sucked the sticky residue from his fingers.
The stranger's voice pulled him from his delightful reverie, "We'll rest here for a while, until you're fit to travel again,"
"How long was I in the desert?" he asked, biting into another fruit.
"Who knows? Time has no meaning here,"
"How did you find me?"
There was a moment of uncomfortable silence, "Fate, perhaps," he replied, his fingers touching his right wrist lightly.
-
"As long as we're connected by these handcuffs, we'll share the same destiny,"
-
"I'm so tired,"
"Then rest,"
And everything went dark.
He woke some time later. The stranger was crouched nearby, facing out into the desert. He attempted to roll to his feet but found his legs still too shaky to support his weight. He crawled again to the pool and drank before washing some of the dirt from his face. He started to pull off the robe and hesitated.
"Is it safe to bathe here?" he asked.
"If you wish,"
He stripped, made slow and awkward by his inability to stand, and rolled into the water, hissing as the chilled liquid stung sand burned skin. With no soap he could only rinse the worst of the dirt away, but even this made him feel rejuvenated, and reluctant to put on his ragged clothes. He eventually settled for tying his robe about him with his cracked leather belt and shoved damp, swollen feet back into his worn shoes. Crawling back to the stranger's side, he flopped down in exhaustion, before his curiosity pressed him to ask the question that had been plaguing him.
"Who are you?"
-
"I am L,"
-
"You should get some more sleep," the stranger murmured.
"No," he replied, his voice made stronger by the water and rest, "You don't fit in with, this," he waved his hand to encompass the strangeness of the world around him, "You must have come from somewhere else. I want to know who you are before I follow you to god knows where,"
"And why is that?" the stranger mocked, "Don't trust me? Or is it that you're afraid?"
Rage bubbled inside him, "I'm not afraid!"
"Ah, but that's a lie, isn't it, Light Yagami?" his true name snapped out like a slap from the stranger's lips, "You are afraid. You're afraid of boredom, afraid of death, afraid even of truth,"
"Shut up!" he rose to his knees and swung blindly at the other man.
His swinging fist was caught and the fight began. They wrestled, rolling over and over and kicking up sprays of sand. One fist finally caught the stranger through the hood and he felt a grim satisfaction at the grunt of pain. Unfortunately, this seemed to enrage the other man and he was promptly shoved back and pinned, his weakened legs kicking uselessly as the stranger held him down, crushing him under the weight of his body.
"But most of all," said the other man, laughing breathlessly as he panted against his ear, "You fear the loss of control. The thought of being a pawn terrifies you. That's why you never surrender, never give up, even when the game is over or the stakes are far too high. For all your brilliance, Light, you never learned a fundamental lesson,"
"And what is that?" Light snarled.
"Futility. That sometimes, the only way to really win is to not play at all,"
-
"This useless pride of mine…I give it up,"
-
And then the dark hood was enveloping them both and the faceless stranger was kissing him.
His hands clenched reflexively, digging ragged nails into the stranger's arms even as his lips parted and a fierce tongue drove into him. For a moment he kissed back, and shoved the other man off.
"No," was all he was able get out before he was forced back and they were fighting again. His belt finally snapped under the strain and his robes spilled open. The stranger covered him, his own robes opening and shrouding them both. In the darkness he could feel the other man's body bared against his own. Arms slipped under his legs and hiked them up, exposing him, and then he felt hardness pressing at his entrance.
"Surrender," the stranger panted his voice loud in the enclosed space, his breath hot and sweet against Light's face.
"Never," he said, and then cried out as he was penetrated. It hurt. Oh god, it hurt. He could feel his muscles spasm against the immovable object inside him. The stranger was murmuring words he couldn't understand as he writhed under the other man, stroking his hips soothingly.
At last the pain receded a bit and he lay still. He felt a wet trickle of blood from between his thighs and under his fingers where his nails had dug into the stranger's arms. The man was still caressing his hips, kissing the pulse point on his neck.
"Relax," he said.
"I can't," Light said, hating the way his voice cracked slightly.
-
"I thought I might help you out,"
-
Then his hand was on Light's penis, stroking it into hardness, distracting him from the pain inside. Slowly, his fingers uncurled and his hands slid up around the man's shoulders, pulling him down for a kiss.
The stranger groaned and thrust and Light gasped in shock as pleasure radiated up his spine, weak at first, but growing stronger as the other man picked up speed. Instinctively he wrapped his legs around the stranger's waist and clung on, dizzy as he was pushed higher and higher.
Then he was there, a final push against the spot inside him and a stroke to his erection and he was coming, arching his back impossibly, and crying out a name that had always fallen from his lips as a curse. Distantly, he heard the stranger's strangled shout and then a sensation of wetness inside.
They lay entangled for several long moments, before the stranger pushed off of him. Light gave a grunt as he pulled free and fluid spilled out of his body, sticky and warm. He was distracted from his slight revulsion as he tried to see the stranger's face, but the man turned away and pulled the hood in tighter. Light quashed a feeling of disappointment, and embarrassment for what he had so carelessly shouted in the heat of passion.
Once he was dressed, the stranger knelt at Light's feet for a moment and pulled off his shoes and robe, tugging him upright and pushing him gently towards the pool before easing in after him.
The water was shocking on Light's fevered skin and dizziness overwhelmed him for a moment, but the stranger caught him and knelt behind him, holding him afloat. His body went limp and thin hands began run over him, brushing off the evidence of his orgasm. Part of him wanted to protest an act that seemed more intimate than what they had just done, but then long fingers slipped inside him, pressing against deliciously sensitive areas even as they cleaned away semen and blood and he groaned.
He heard the stranger chuckle as those fingers continued to tease him and he had to bite back the urge to scold the other man, call out the name of the one he wanted.
-
"Call me Ryuzaki"
-
Sadness smothered him momentarily and despite the pleasure he found himself choking on involuntary tears.
Blinded, he could only feel as the stranger dragged him back onto the sand and wrapped him up again, cradling him in his lap and stroking damp hair.
"Why?" he gasped, "Why are you here? Why are you—,"
A finger against his lips silenced him. The stranger bent low and whispered in his ear.
"Because, Light Yagami, I hate you more than I can bear,"
Arms tightened around him.
"And I love you more than I can bear,"
Light slept.
Wetness on his face woke him. A light, misty rain was falling. He lay curled into the other man's side, his head resting on damp cloth covering a flat belly. Shaking off sleepiness, he rose, his legs firm beneath him for the first time in days, and looked out into desert.
He sensed the other man at his side and his hand instinctively went out. Their fingers entwined and without a word they marched out into the nothingness.
He wasn't sure how long they traveled; time meant nothing after all, but he did know that at last they came to a peaceful place, filled with shades of all that was and will be. But Light did not look at the fantastic sights that surrounded him. His gaze turned to the stranger, who had pushed his hood back. And Light smiled, and spoke his name.
And Ryuzaki kissed him.
-
"Let's catch Kira…together,"
A/N: Please read and review. To those of you who are interested, the title is taken from the name of the twilight land of the dead in the Jewish tradition. Also, virtual cookies to anyone who can spot the movie reference. :)
