Disclaimer: I don't own anybody or anything. (Actually, there may be something lurking in my head which owns this poem. Part of me hopes that that's the case, because the alternative is that I came up with it myself, which is…rather frightening, to be entirely honest.)
A/N: HEEEEEEYYYYYY! I'm BAAAAAAAACK! (Insert the usual excuses about what kept me away, which I'm sure you don't want to hear AGAIN.) (On a side note, while I was gone I discovered the joys of TV: I am now a SuperWhoLock fan!)
This has actually been sitting on my computer for a long time now, just waiting to be spruced up and delivered to you. Why, you ask, did I not publish it before? Well, because I wasn't sure I liked it. Honestly, guys, I DON'T KNOW WHERE THIS CAME FROM. REALLY. (It kind of scares me.) So just…keep your mind open, and please, remember it's a joke. I don't have anything against Cosette as a character; I'm rather fond of her, actually.
…I'm just going to hope that that was enough of a preface for this slightly insane fic.
Innocent Euphrasie
I am innocent Euphrasie
(Though my memory is hazy
When it comes to that long name; I really can't help but forget.
So my dear, departed mother,
Long ago, gave me another
Name that's easier to say, and now I go by just 'Cosette').
I'm a simple girl, precisely,
And I always act quite nicely.
I will never misbehave, for I'm a good girl to the bone.
When my daddy gives direction,
I obey without objection.
I'll do anything he tells me to; I won't complain or moan.
Well, I know you must be asking,
"What is it this girl is masking?
She's too good to be for real. She must be hiding something bad."
But I wish you would believe me,
For, my friends, you truly grieve me
By suspecting me of keeping things from you and dear old dad.
Now, before you get suspicious
Or do something injudicious,
Think: Are you prepared to swear there's something odd about me now?
After all, that begs the question:
"Why bring up this strange suggestion?"
So you'll have to face my father with the who and why and how.
Oh, my friends, please don't be hasty;
After all, you'd be quite tasty
Cooked with vegetables and spices in a most delicious stew.
Though my father's very gentle—
Well, some things are accidental,
And I wouldn't want to have him mad at me, if I were you.
So, lest accident befall you,
Let your common sense recall you
From ideas of asking questions that will bring you naught but woe.
Just accept your first impression;
Use your natural discretion,
And we'll get along just splendidly, and be great friends, I know!
A/N: Thanks for reading! (Please don't be scared of me because of evil!Cosette; I'm really very friendly... Wait, I have to ask for reviews... Well, then...) REVIEW! OR ELSE!
...just kidding. Honestly, though, as I said, I have NO CLUE where the heck this came from.
