Warning: This fic contains horrible, horrible puns. Not so many in this chapter, but they're coming. You have been warned.


Yolei wiped the sweat from her brow after finishing her latest project. "Perfecto! What do you think?"

"Is this even legal?" Kari wondered as she looked it over. "Doesn't someone live here?"

"Yeah," Yolei admitted, "but it's my uncle. He's gonna be gone for two months on some business thing so I'm house-sitting!"

Kari was about to ask why one of her Jogress partner's older siblings wasn't doing it, but she didn't want to hurt her feelings by implying that she wasn't responsible. Instead she opted for, "How many uncles do you have, anyways?"

"Eight. This one thinks that puberty is just an alien trick so they can gradually replace everyone he knows without the change in behavior seeming too suspicious. Crazy, huh? But who cares? I get alone time for two whole months!" she gushed without so much as a pause for breath. "But enough about that, do you like it?"

"Well... Tai sure won't find us here..."

"I know, right? We're finally safe! Not even his lackey can get in here."

In the past few weeks since MaloMyotismon had been defeated, Tai's puns had been getting more and more awful. Not even Kari could stand to listen to him anymore. To make matters worse, Davis had invaded her apartment and showed no signs of ever leaving for more than meals and soccer practice. He was being "taught in the ways of the 'Wizard of Wordplay'" as Tai said every time he was called to explain why Davis was still with him. Worst of all, Davis had kicked Kari out of her own (shared) room!

All of the other DigiDestined agreed that Tai had gone too far, but no one knew what to do about it. Izzy had flat-out refused to even try to solve the problem, not wanting to be strangled by Tai again. Not even Gatomon would help, although Kari was pretty sure Tai was bribing her with salmon. Her excuse was that she needed to eliminate Miko before it killed them all in their sleep, but that was hopefully just a front.

Since Yolei's apartment was too full already and Sora was always busy, Kari had been staying with TK for the past week and a half. It had taken Tai four days to notice that she'd even left. Unfortunately, this decision had the side effect of everyone thinking that they were doing... things. All right, maybe it had been a mistake on Kari's part to admit that they'd shared the bed since her stuff took up the rest of the floor space, but Yolei would've found out anyways. Plus, his room was really cold.

After the first few days of this people had started bugging her about it, more specifically Matt and Gatomon. Gatomon didn't like that Kari was spending most of her time with the "blonde floozy" instead of "getting rid of that interloper Miko". Matt... well, he was constantly making TK do "brother stuff" and lecturing them both on living chaste and decent lives, especially after Davis had given TK condoms as a joke (the smallest size he could find) and Matt had found the full box in the trash. Heck, Matt was more protective of their "virtue" than their own mothers, who had accepted this as the next logical step.

Aside from all that, it hadn't been a bad experience. Kari would never admit it to anyone, but sharing a room with TK was a million times better than sharing a room with her brother. TK didn't steal her stuff, wake her up in the middle of the night just to say "hi", make awkward puns about everything, or spend hours in the bathroom combing his hair every single morning. Sure, there were downsides: the nightmares, for one thing. He had them more often than she did, but either way they both woke up and just talked about them. Normally, that would help, but they wasted so much time reminiscing that they barely got any sleep. Having two people's worth of stuff in one already untidy room was no picnic either. And then there were the posters... Matt had plastered the walls of his brother's room with them and TK was too lazy to take them down, even though neither one of them wanted to sleep with hundreds of Matts staring at them.

Since Matt was trying his best to take up all of his brother's time, Kari found herself spending more and more time with Yolei. At first it was mostly for them to vent about their sibling issues, but one fateful day they'd come up with an idea to find a place to live away from Tai. Both girls had consumed liberal amounts of caffeine and sugar. While Kari had forgotten about the plan, Yolei had spent hours perfecting it. At first Kari had thought that it was a joke, but now she was standing in a spotless four-room apartment with no windows.

Which was now a bunker. Whether that was just how Yolei's crazy uncle had made it or if Yolei had turned it into one was up for debate. The furnishing ranged from strange to bizzarre: in the living room there were two couches, a doll collection, and a hideous armchair; in the black-painted kitchen, there was a counter, fridge, freezer, gun cabinet, oven, and fully stocked pantry; the bedroom was quickly bolted shut by Yolei after both girls had glanced inside. It would remain blocked. Only the bathroom was semi-normal, and it had all sorts of computer equipment inside. Yolei moved two cots into the living room since the bedroom was obviously not usable and the front door was secured by four deadbolts. No one was getting in.

"It'll get Matt off my case," Kari said. "That's for sure. Are we moving our stuff in tomorrow?"

"Nah, let's do it now! I'm sure your boyfriend will help... unless he doesn't want you to leave..." Yolei teased. Kari just sighed in response. "You're no fun. We can make Cody and Ken help, too. It's so convenient that you're in my building now. All we have to do is carry our stuff down a few floors."

Kari excused herself to go tell TK about the plan. She walked in on him telling Matt and Sora off. "Um, hey, guys," she greeted timidly.

None of the three noticed her. "...and if you're gonna lecture us about doing stuff like I caught you guys doing - which we're not - don't do that stuff yourself!"

"It was just kissing," Sora pointed out. "Aren't you overreacting just a little?"

"My brother has been trying to keep me and Kari separated for a week and a half, given us hours' worth of speeches about morals, and yesterday he made me go clothes shopping with him. What do you think?"

She gave Matt a sidelong glance. "We'll talk about this later, Yamato." He blanched and glared at his younger brother.

Finally, TK noticed Kari awkwardly standing there. "How long have you been here?"

"Long enough. I'm moving out today. Wanna help?"

Matt's face transformed into the face of a child who had just received every single item on his Christmas wish list. "We'll all help! Right, Sora?"

"After everything you've done, you should carry it all by yourself," his girfriend muttered. "You don't even live with him..."

The grin faded. "Hey, if Tai's not gonna step up and help me protect our siblings' virtue, someone has to."

"That's what all this was about?" Sora almost shrieked. Matt had gone too far. "They're not gonna turn into porn stars from sharing a room for a few days! Do you know how many thousands of times they've slept next to each other before? Now, they weren't dating then-"

"We're not dating!" TK and Kari protested, turning beet red.

"-but they respect each other and fear the consequences enough not to act on their barely-existant hormones. Unlike someone I could mention."

Now Matt was blushing as well. "Well... uh... this's been fun and all, but... gotta jet!" He ran from the apartment before Sora told them anything she'd regret. His girlfriend followed, shaking her head.

Once they were gone, it was awkward for a few moments... but then Kari started laughing. TK waited until she was finished (several minutes), then made a suggestion. "So... you pack, I'll carry?"

"I'm sorry it's such short notice-"

"It's fine. Maybe those dumb rumors will stop now... and I get my room back!" He cleared his throat. "But, uh, for what it's worth, I'll miss our talks. Patamon probably won't, though. He likes sleeping through the night."

"Me too," she giggled, picturing Patamon's face the last time she'd woken him up with a random story. "At least I'll have Yolei to talk to."

TK raised an eyebrow. "Yolei?"

"She found a safer place, close to the ground floor."

"That's a relief. It's not too far away, then."

"No," Kari agreed, "it's not."

They were able to meet the others within the hour, since it only took a half hour to get Kari's things packed. "Making out shouldn't take that long," Yolei teased. TK and Kari blushed while Ken and Cody exchanged horrified looks.

"We saw Matt and Sora," Kari managed to reply after an awkward pause. Yolei gave them a knowing look.

"Whatever you say... so, what do you all think of our new place?"

Ken gave the room a once-over. "It's a little weird, but okay... I could just talk to Davis about giving Kari her bed back, you know," he offered.

"No! Tai deserves to be happy, too," Kari protested. Davis was one of the few people who could stand to be in his presence.

Ken resolved to talk to Davis the next day no matter what Kari's opinion about it was.

"It isn't too bad," TK commented, trying to change the subject. "The leg lamp's a little creepy, though."

"Maybe you could move your stuff down here too!" Yolei suggested, smirking. "After all, I hate to separate you two..."

"WE'RE NOT DATING!" came the chorus.

"Let's get started," Cody ordered. "We're wasting time."

They began unpacking.


"Punday is coming... mark my well-manipulated words... she can't avoid me for much longer..."

"Dude, Tai, what's up on Monday?"

Tai grinned evilly. "You'll see, my protegé... you'll see."


Author's Note: Hey guys, I bet you thought I was updating something. Well I'm not... yet. Chapter 8 is gonna be over 10,000 words by the time I'm done. Anyways, enough about that. This is a collab between me and Nigel the Octopus. We're alternating chapters; chapter 2 was written by her. Coming up with bad jokes and puns is really, really hard. Glad I don't have to do it yet. If you have a terrible pun, leave it in a PM to either of us or a review. Thanks for reading!