The VKAWGAQW Show #4

A/N: Read the others before reading this!

Voldemort: Hello and welcome to our show! Today is a very special episode. We have all the winners from games #1,#2,and #3. These are the contestants! From game show #1, all the way from Hogwarts, the one, the only, Harry Potter! Boooooooooooooooooooooo! Okay Harry why did you enter this show?

Harry: (Annoyed) Because you asked me to, duh!

V: Okay. (Well, that's not nice.) The second contestant is Professor McGonagall from game show #2, also arriving from Hogwarts! Boooooooooooooo! Why did you enter this show?

Professor McGonagall: To show that I'm still the smartest person around! Hahaha!

H: Ehem…

Audience: I bet Harry wins… $50 dollars on the Professor… whisper, whisper, whisper…

V: Yeah, whatever. Our last contestant is Jupiter, a centaur, from episode #3. Jupiter why did you enter this contest?

Jupiter: To prove that I'm still the best creature around.

V: Okay. First up is Harry (boooooooooooooooooooooo.) this is your first question. What is a Tebo?

H: Good thing we've been studying these.

V: You have!?!?!?

H: Yep.

V: Ughh. So what is it?

H: A warthog commonly found in Congo or Zaire. It has the power to turn invisible.

V: Humph. That's right. Your next question is what does the spell Nox do?

H: It puts out lights.

V: Yeah, yeah. The next one is what does the Impediment curse do?

H: That's easy.

V: Well you sob don't sob have to sob be so sob mean about it! sobsobsobsob! I want my mommy! Waaaaaaaaaaaah! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

H: Darn it, I brainwashed him last time. Humph!

Harry brainwashes Voldemort. (again)

V: Did you answer the question yet?

H: No!

V: What was the question?

H: It was, uh, he he, what is a mugle? hehehehehehehehe

V: Okay, answer it!

Audience: No! Yes! whisperwhisperwhisperwhisper…

H: A person who is not a wizard!

1/3 of the audience: Yes!

2/3 of the audience: No!

V: (glares at Harry) You live again! I thought I'd kill you for sure this time!

H: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

V: You sound amazingly like me when I was younger… (gazes at Harry dreamily)

H: Uh,uh, what did I do? Go away! You're scaring me! Aaaaaah!

Harry starts to run. He dashes out of the big brick building where the show is held and tries to jump the fence. Voldemort runs after him screaming "I've got you know, kid!"

Harry falls from the tall barbed wire fence and lays cowering on the ground…

V: Heh heh heh…

H: Don't kill me…

V: Yeah right! Avada Kedavra!

Voldemort drags Harry's body into the bushes nearby, making sure no one sees him. Then, deciding against that idea, he tears Harry's clothes up and makes blood-like stains using the bottle of catsup he always carries around. He drags Harry's body to the entrance of the building and tears his own robe up some, and gives himself some "scratches." Then he rushes into the building and pretends to collapse from exhaustion on the floor.

Audience: Oh! What happened?

V: I-I tried to save him. He ran into a wild, uh, Tebo and it attacked him! His body's outside…

Audience: Ooohh! Ahhhh! (they all rush out the door)

PMG: Wait a minute! Tebos don't live here!

V: Whoops…

PMG and J: Voldemort… You killed him, didn't you?

V: Uh, er,uh, well, yeah.

PMG: Well no skin off my back. Always thought he was a spoiled boy, anyhow.

J: I don't really care. I didn't even know the boy.

V: Secret?

PMG and J: Secret.

The audience comes back wide eyed.

V: Now let's get on with our game! Professor McGonagall…

Video Camera Director: Voldemort, viewers everywhere are shocked by this tragic event. Do you think we could take the night off?

V: Only if I could date that lovely little lady over there.

VCD: Her name is Lilac. She's my apprentice. Yeah, sure you can go on a date with her.

PMG: What about us!?

V: (dreamily) Congratulations, you win a laptop computer and a mini van! Enough for the whole family!

J and PMG: What?!

V: Goodbye!

Lilac and Voldemort spend a wonderful evening together. First they go out for fish-it-yourself sushi and Lilac catches a twenty pounder! They win a free love-boat ride because she caught it and stare at each other the whole thing. When they finally have to leave they reluctantly say goodbye.

THE NEXT DAY…

Voldemort: We're back to our show for the continuation of last night's show! We will start today with Professor McGonagall! As you may remember, sob, Harry was tragically killed last night so he will not be playing tonight. (fake) sobsobsob. Okay, let's get started!

Professor McGonagall: Finally!

V: Humph. Okay here's your first question. Who is currently the Irish National Quidditch Team's Seeker? You don't have to give the first name.

PMG: Um, er, um, er, is it Krum?

V: That's wrong! Avada Kedavra! Next up is Jupiter the centaur. Jupiter, your first question is…

Jupiter: Wait. I want to check my life insurance.

Jupiter zooms of in a car. Later that night there is a news report that he was involved in an accident and is dead.

V: Well, that's it for our show! Bye, everyone!

A/N: That, well, didn't turn out like normal…