This idea for this fic came from my other fic, Bedtime Stories.
Cougar and Analicia are home alone one night when Cougar suffers from a bout of his nightmares and Ana is the one there to comfort him.
This is during the period where Analicia is still learning Spanish, so you can choose to see their conversation as being: in all English, in all Spanish, or in a mixture of the two.
Gottalovealoser: I promise, the first chapter of Indigo Feather is gonna be the next one that I load. I had hoped to load it today too, but this one was just in my head and wouldn't let me work on Indigo Feather until I had finished this first. And it took me longer to finish writing this one than I had anticitpated. I did start writing this one before that one anyway so it's only fair. But Indigo Feather will be up by next Sunday.
~JP
One night, when her mom and Uncle Jake had gone out to get some presents for Uncle Cougar's birthday the next day, Ana had been playing in her room while her Uncle Cougar was taking a nap in his and Uncle Jake's room. They had just gotten home from a mission and Uncle Cougar hadn't slept in three days so he really needed the sleep.
As Analicia was practicing her Capoeira moves in her room, she heard some noises that sounded very similar to whimpering. She worriedly made her way into Uncle Cougar's room to check on him. She knew how bad his nightmares could get and usually only Uncle Jake could calm him.
Upon entering the room, Analicia saw that Uncle Cougar was in fact having a nightmare as she feared. However, his whimpers had turned into full screams of terror and he was thrashing around the bed as he was caught in the nightmare.
As Analicia moved closer, she saw the tears streaming steadily down his face. She knew better than to reach out and touch him; it would startle him. So she called his name from where she stood approximately five feet from him.
"Uncle Cougar?" She stared at him worriedly as he continued to thrash, cry and scream. He didn't seem to have even registered her voice. So she tried a little louder this time. She really didn't want to startle him. "Uncle Cougar?"
Once again, he continued to thrash and cry, but his screams had quieted. Maybe he had heard her in his nightmare. She tried one last time. She screamed his name as loud as her little voice could go. "UNCLE COUGAR!"
Cougar jumped awake while pulling a gun from beneath his pillow. His startled eyes searched the room for the threat. As his stormy brown eyes landed on his niece and nothing dangerous, well dangerous and being used against him, because he knew his niece was dangerous in her own right, even though she was still young, he slowly replaced the gun underneath his pillow.
The gun that shouldn't have been there because he never slept with a gun when he was home. He must have really been tired if he didn't realize that he hadn't put it in the lock-box before passing out on his and Jake's bed.
Analicia watched closely as her Uncle seemed to realize that it was just her in the room. She continued watching as he put his gun back beneath his pillow. The gun that wasn't usually there. He slowly brought his legs over the side of the bed and held his arms open for Analicia to come to him.
As soon as he opened his arms Analicia ran and jumped into them. She felt him wrap them around her tightly and held her close. He was breathing a bit heavily and didn't seem to want to let her go. And that was fine with her. She would be content to let him hold her forever.
Analicia was a bit startled as she felt the hot splash of tears upon her shoulder. Her Uncle never cried. Never. When she saw the tears during his nightmare she just figured that everyone let down their guard in their dreams and thought that once he was awake, he would once again put up the wall that hid his emotions, the ones he didn't want others to see-except for Uncle Jake-back up.
Except, instead of slowing down, she felt more and more tears falling upon her shoulder. Analicia just tightened her arms as tight as she could around her much bigger Uncle. She wanted to be able to be there for him. She knew that the adults in her life always tried to spare her from knowing about their lives away from her and her Mom. They wanted to protect her.
But she got annoyed every time she would enter a room and everyone would suddenly stop talking. Including her Mom. So now, here, with her Uncle Cougar having just woken up from a bout of his nightmares, Analicia would be the one to take care of him.
As she had seen Uncle Jake do on the nights when she would spy, yes spy, on him taking care of Uncle Cougar after waking up from his nightmares, Analicia reached up and gently placed a kiss on her Uncle's forehead.
Cougar opened his eyes startled. For a moment, just a moment, he wondered if he had gone crazy and that it wasn't Ana in his arms, but Jake. But now, he stared looking into his niece's beautiful blue eyes. Her Uncle's eyes.
Of course she would have done that, Cougar realized. She knew what her Uncle Jake did to comfort him. She would spy on them whenever Cougar had a nightmare. Jake didn't realize when she first started to do this, but Cougar did. She would watch over them and make sure they were okay.
Because Cougar knew how upset Analicia always became when she thought of how she was never allowed to know anything that they dealt with outside of this home, he let her watch them. She always left when Jake started kissing him anyway. It was as if she instinctively knew that they would need their privacy.
Cougar didn't know if she actually knew what they did, he hoped not, but their niece is a genius, just like her Uncle Jake, and even if she didn't know exactly what they were about to do, she knew that she wasn't supposed to witness it and always left.
The first time Jake realized she was there was approximately three months after she started watching whenever Cougar had a nightmare. Cougar was a bit amused that it took Jake so long to realize about Ana but he was also a bit disappointed that it took Jake so long. The only reason Cougar wasn't really upset was the fact that Jake was always mega-focused on him after the nightmares and that Jake knew he didn't have to worry about danger here. None of them did.
Jake had been surprised when he saw her and moved to take her back to her room but a slight movement of Cougar's head stopped him in his tracks. Jake had seemed like he wanted to argue for a second but instead went with the flow and just completed their nightmare ritual as usual. When he first started to kiss Cougar Jensen tensed up but relaxed when he realized that Analicia had left them alone once again.
The morning after that incident Cougar explained everything. How Ana felt, which Jake already knew, but also how Cougar felt about Ana's feelings. How she first started looking after them three months ago and how it actually comforted Cougar to have her there for the little bit of time that she was there. Cougar knew it was selfish of him-which Jake promptly said was bullshit and that it made sense to want Analicia there. Jake also said that if it made both Analicia and Cougar feel better for her to be there, then he was happy with the arrangement.
So they just let her watch their ritual after Cougar had the nightmares and were happy to involve her in at least something that was a part of their other lives. Plus it truly did comfort Cougar to have her close by. To see her and know that she was okay, because sometimes, the dreams involved her. And those were the worst of them. Like tonight's dream.
Analicia stared into her Uncle's eyes, just as he continued to stare into hers. What Analicia saw in his eyes made her want to cry as well. She saw such pain and sadness and fear. All she wanted to do was take those emotions out of his eyes. Just like her Uncle Jake did, at least for a little while. She knew they always came back with the nightmares again, but for now, she just wanted them to go away.
Analicia placed her hands upon her Uncle's wet cheeks to hold his face in place and then leaned so close to him that they were nose to nose. She held his eyes as she said softly, yet clearly, "It's okay Uncle Coogie. I'm here. You're here. We're safe. Everything is alright. It was just a mean ole nightmare. That's all."
Cougar smiled at her special nickname for him. And at her calling what he had just experienced as 'a mean ole nightmare'. But she was right. It was just a nightmare and they were all fine and safe.
Analicia used her hands to wipe away her Uncle Cougar's tears. She was happy that she was able to get him to smile. She was so proud to be helping him, to be making him feel better and realize that everything was okay.
Cougar took a deep breath as Ana finished wiping away his tears. When she was done he hugged her tightly against him once again. "You're right Ana-Banana. It was just a mean ole nightmare."
Analicia nodded fiercely in agreement. "Yeah, it was." Analicia's fierceness faltered as she prepared to ask her Uncle, "What was it about Uncle Cougar?"
Analicia knew that Uncle Cougar always told Uncle Jake about his dreams, but she was unsure of how he would react to her asking. She hoped that he would trust that she's mature enough for him to confide in her. She knows that out of all the adults, he's the one that actually treats her as an equal and not just a kid.
Cougar looked into Ana's imploring eyes. She really did look so much like her Uncle. If he and Jake ever got out of the military, he could see them adopting a child of their own together. One who looked like Analicia. Then she could have the cousin that she was always begging them for.
Cougar never spoke of such things to Jake though. The kid was still young and Cougar wanted him to enjoy life before he suggested anything such as adopting a child. Because he knew that as soon as he did, Jake wouldn't stop until they had a child of their own.
Analicia didn't know what Uncle Cougar was thinking about, but whatever it was caused the look in his eyes that she hated to disappear. Suddenly, his eyes were filled with warmth and happiness and he had another small smile appear on his face. She didn't want to disturb whatever thought was making him happy so she shifted back on his lap slightly so that she wasn't so up in his face.
As soon as Analicia moved, Cougar was brought back from thoughts of a possible future. He hugged her again and remembered what they were talking about in the first place. And that brought back the memories of the horrible nightmare that he had been having. Once again, horror and devastation appeared in his eyes and the smile turned into a bit of a frown.
Analicia saw the change in her Uncle and proceeded to properly freak out. "No, no, no, no, Uncle Cougar. No! It's okay, everything's alright. You don't have to be sad, you don't have to tell me. I'm sorry Coogie, I didn't mean to pry."
Cougar tightened his arms around Analicia and began shaking his head at her as soon as he heard her say the word, 'sorry'. When he heard the word, 'pry', another small smile appeared on his face. She must have heard her mother apologize to Jake this morning for 'prying' into his business of when he and Cougar would 'make it official'. Sara thought that Cougar's birthday would have been a great time to announce a date.
"Ana…you have nothing to apologize for mi hija. You aren't prying into anything. Never be afraid to ask me anything. Understood?" Cougar held Ana's eyes as he waited for her response. He really did want her to be comfortable asking him anything.
Analicia smiled at her Uncle. "Yes, Uncle Cougar."
Cougar nodded slightly at her response. He held her snugly against him as he moved to sit back against the headboard with her against his chest. He tucked her head more comfortably against his chest and rested his chin upon her hair. He began rubbing her back in a soothing circular motion. He wasn't sure what exactly to tell her. He wanted to be honest with her, but he didn't want to give her nightmares as well.
Taking a deep breath, Cougar began to try and explain. "Ana. My nightmares vary from night to night, but they all have the same theme to them. Some are memories while others are…fears of a possible future."
As her Uncle paused, Ana guessed the theme to his dreams. "They're all about pain and death, aren't they?"
Cougar paused his rubbing while he acknowledged the fact that she truly was very observant. He knew that every time she spied on them she didn't hear what was said because he made sure of it. He didn't want her to have nightmares because of what she heard from him.
Cougar resumed his rubbing of her back and nodded slightly against her head. "Yes, Ana, they are."
He didn't add that they also included horrific torture and sadism. That he had to watch over and over as the people he was either in charge of protecting or the people that he loved the most, were tortured in front of him before being brutally killed. Those were the worst nightmares for him. The ones where he is the one tortured don't affect him as much as the others do.
Analicia mimicked her Uncle's movements and tried to comfort him by rubbing circles on his chest and stomach. "What happened in tonight's nightmare, Uncle?"
Cougar spent a minute thinking of what he should tell her before actually speaking. Taking a deep breath, he began trying to explain without revealing too much. "Tonight, was a very bad one. I was forced to watch as someone I love very much was…died in front of me."
Analicia felt her Uncle shudder beneath her. She heard the pause during his explanation and just knew what he had been about to say. That they had been murdered and he could do nothing to stop it. "Was it Uncle Jake? Cause you know that Uncle Jake can take very good care of himself Uncle Coogie. He takes great care of me."
Cougar smiled at her defense of Jake. The younger man told him many, many times that he could take care of himself and that Cougar didn't have to worry so much about him. It always made Cougar want to laugh, because Jake would then proceed to treat him as if he needed protection from everyone and everything.
"No, Analicia, it wasn't your Uncle Jake." He hugged her even tighter against him. "It was someone just as important to me."
Analicia wanted to guess everyone else in their special family first, but she knew who the dream was about. "It was me, wasn't it?"
At Analicia's barely breathed question, Cougar became so tense that he stopped breathing himself. When he felt Analicia's body tense as well, he forced himself to relax and breathe again. "Yes, it was."
When Analicia felt her Uncle begin breathing again, she relaxed once more. And then he answered her question and she wished that she was as big as her Uncle Jake so that she could wrap Uncle Cougar in her arms the way he did.
"But it was just a nightmare Uncle Cougar. I'm here. I'm here, and I'm safe and I'm healthy. No one can hurt me or even get to me. You all have made completely sure of that. Remember?"
When Cougar didn't respond right away, Analicia moved off his chest and looked him straight in the eyes yet again. She poked him in his chest as she once again asked, "Remember?"
Cougar stared at his niece. She may look exactly like her Uncle Jake, but her approach to addressing his nightmares was a helluva lot different than Jake's. She was certainly much more direct while Jake tended to take a round-about way of arriving at the same conclusion.
Cougar smiled at Ana before hugging her yet again. He just couldn't stop himself from touching her and proving to himself that she was in fact very much alive and okay. "Yes Ana, I remember." He nodded to emphasize his affirmation. "I know that you are safe. That your mother is safe. That Jolene is safe. I understand that. I do. But when I'm in one of my nightmares, I don't."
Analicia nodded that she understood as well. She knew what it was like to be trapped inside of a nightmare and not be able to get out even though you knew what was happening shouldn't have been happening. She also knew that the best thing for her Uncle now would be for him to get back to sleep and to start dreaming happy dreams.
That's what they always had her do after a nightmare. And she knew that Uncle Jake always had Uncle Cougar go back to sleep as well. She always left when she saw her Uncle Jake beginning to kiss Uncle Cougar while pushing him back to lay down against the bed.
So she kissed her Uncle Cougar on the forehead and pushed against his shoulders trying to get him to lay down. "It's okay Uncle Cougar. Everything is going to be okay. Now come on. Lay down. It's time to get back to sleeping so you can have some nice dreams."
Cougar let himself be prodded into laying back down against the bed. He hid his smile as his niece repeated to him what he and the others always told her after she had a nightmare.
Analicia finished pushing her Uncle down until he was laying once again. She smiled down at him. "AND, I'm gonna lay with you until you fall asleep. Just like you do for me."
Analicia settled herself into her Uncle's side as he wrapped the blankets around them. Once they were cocooned within the warmth and Analicia was tucked securely against his side, Cougar allowed himself to be lulled to sleep by her strong, steady breathing.
Jake and Sara were surprised that Analicia's light was still on when they arrived home. But they just figured that she had fallen asleep while forgetting to turn it off first. And of course, Cougar should still be sleeping so he wouldn't have done it. Yet when they went to shut it off, they discovered Analicia's empty bed. And her room was empty too.
They didn't worry though. Jake knew she liked to check up on Cougar and him so he made his way to his and Cougar's room. Sara followed quietly behind.
When they reached the room, Jake and Sara both couldn't help but smile. Cougar and Ana were snuggled beneath the covers with Ana tucked securely against Cougar's side. They were wrapped within each other's arms and sleeping soundly. Cougar even had a slight smirk on his face.
Jake looked at his sister and quietly whispered, "Let her sleep with us tonight Sara? This is the first time in a long time that I've seen Carlos so relaxed."
Sara looked from the bed to her big brother. "Yeah, you got it Jake." She whispered back. "Besides, I don't think she'd let us take her anyway."
Jake looked back and saw how Analicia's arms tightened around Cougar beneath the blankets. As if she could sense that they were even considering moving her.
Sara left their bedroom as Jake prepared for bed.
As Jake slipped beneath the covers, he reached over and kissed both Cougar and Analicia on their foreheads. Cougar, still sleeping peacefully, instinctively wrapped Jake within their cocoon with him and Analicia. Jake snuggled up against them and let sleep overcome him.
