I wrote this because we didn't get much inside info on what happened after 'Her Negotiation' as far as how she was right after. All we know is that she stayed with Brian at his apartment and she wouldn't ever talk about Lewis with him.

Please ignore any typos and bad grammar, I'm not the best but I have proofread this to the best of my abilities.

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters.

The ride from the precinct to Brian's apartment was longer than it had ever been. Olivia stared out the window looking at all the people and buildings they passed.

All the brunette could think about was the fact that she was now a victim. A sexual assault victim. Sealview had been bad, but this? It was nothing compared to Harris.

Her thoughts were interrupted as they pulled up in front of Brian's building. She tried to get out of the car as he raced to open her door.

"Brian, I got it." Olivia stated. She knew this would happen. He's going to treat her like she's breakable and fragile.

"I know, it's just your wrist and I'm worried an-," he said but she cut him off.

"I know. I'm fine, babe. Really." Olivia was fine, according to her. She knew she'd need therapy, she dreaded head shrinking.

They took the elevator to Brian's apartment, usually they'd walk but today neither of them felt like it.

When Olivia walked through the door, she let out a breath that she didn't know she had been holding. Finally a place that she felt safe. She hated hospitals, she hated going to give her statement, and more than anything, she hated that she could never live in her apartment again, not after Lewis.

This was the first safe place she'd been in since she was with Lewis, aside from the prescient and there were just too many people there right now for her liking.

"I'm sorry I have to go in today, babe." Brian stated after they'd shut and locked the door.

Brian hadn't been working for a little over a week now since Olivia had been taken for four days and then had been at the hospital the rest of the time. Now, he was mandated to go back to work without having a choice. If he said no, it'd look bad and hurt his job. After what happened with Brian previously, he didn't need to cause any extra attention to himself.

"It's fine. I'm fine." Those words seemed like the only ones the brunette knew sometimes.

Brian looked at Olivia with sad eyes, "I don't want to leave you alone".

"Brian," Olivia started, "I haven't been alone in over a week… I could use the personal downtime." It was true. Between Lewis, the hospital doctors and nurses, Brian, and her co-workers, she hadn't been alone except for going to the restroom.

He knew better than to argue with her, especially right now when she hadn't been in control of herself or her life for the past week. Right now, Olivia needed stability and control.

"Okay." Was all he replied.

She sat on the couch staring absently at the TV, she'd already taken her sling off and sat it on the coffee table. Honestly, she was tired of wearing it, it just seemed to draw more attention to her and the doctor only required her to wear it when out and about or doing tasks anyways. Her wrist was still in the cast, and it'd stay that way for six weeks, or so she was told.

They hadn't said anything else to each other and Brian was in the bedroom getting ready for work.

Olivia didn't know how she was supposed to do this. How could she carry on her relationship after everything that had happened to her? How was she supposed to show Brian her body now that it had marks, bruises, and burns in the shape of her old house keys and cigarettes?

Once he was ready, Brian made his way into the living room. He hated leaving her, he absolutely hated it.

"Alright, well I'm leaving." He told her as he stared at her relaxed form on the couch.

"Okay," she smiled, looking up at him. "I hope you have a good shift."

Brian just stood there in silence, hesitant to leave.

Olivia got up and walked him to the door. "I'm fine, I'll be fine." She said as she looked at him.

When they got to the door, he leaned in to kiss her goodbye…. And she flinched.

He stopped before his lips touched hers. "Shit, I'm sorry, Liv." Was all he could say.

"It's okay." She whispered as she leaned back and put on a fake smile.

"I…" Brian was at a loss for words.

Olivia hated how her body reacted. She hated how she wanted nothing more than to kiss Brian and put her arms around him but at the same time she was terrified of flashing back. She was full on aware that she now had PTSD worse than ever.

"Brian," Olivia said with sad, loving eyes, "go to work".

He knew then that she wanted him to leave. She wasn't being rude and she wasn't mad, but she was a fresh sexual assault victim who needed time to get herself together. "Okay, I'll be home around 8 am." Brian told her. "If you need anything, anything at all, my phone is on and I will answer every call or text." He added.

And with that he was out the door.

Olivia locked the door behind him and put the chain lock on. She put her back up against the door and took a deep breath as tears filled her eyes. She'd be damned if she broke again in front of Brian. This past week it had been constant crying for her. She cried with Lewis, she cried when she was rescued, she cried on and off in the hospital, and even when she was giving her statement of the sexual assault.

She slowly slid down to sit on the floor as the tears slipped down her face.

"I'm so fucked up." She said to herself. Olivia Benson had always known she'd had baggage. With her mother's abuse and being the product of rape, she had enough baggage for a lifetime but adding Lewis to the list broke her.

After a few moments of sitting on the floor, she got up and headed to the couch, turning the TV off because it seemed like everything she watched reminded her of her assault.

She sat in silence giving into her own thoughts. She had lied to everyone.

Olivia gave herself a small laugh. "I did what I had to in order to subdue him… I made a judgment call." She whispered the words to herself that she had told everyone, knowing good and well she beat the shit out of William Lewis. He was cuffed and she completely lost it, and beat him literally half to death.

She was still deep in thought when she heard a knock on the door.

Olivia got up to answer it and as she looked through the peephole she sighed.

"Why are you here?" She asked, slightly annoyed as she opened the door wider for the man to enter the apartment.

"Nice to see you too." Fin replied as he made his way inside the apartment, and got comfortable on one end of the couch.

"Sorry," Olivia replied. "I just… I'm tired of being babied." She took a deep breath and huffed it out, sitting down at the opposite end of the couch.

"Brian call you?" She asked with suspicious eyes. She didn't need a babysitter, and she definitely didn't want her boyfriend calling her co-workers.

"Nah, I called him."

Now she was really annoyed. "Fin, if you wanna check up on me, then call me."

He stared at her with a calm face.

"As soon as you get a cellphone, I will." He replied lightly, with caring eyes.

Her mouth hung open as she remembered that she no longer had a phone. William Lewis took a lot of things from her, and her iphone had been one of them.

"Right…." She looked down and let out a small laugh, "sorry."

Fin relaxed as he propped his arm on the back of the couch and crossed one leg over the other. He'd already taken in her appearance. She'd been crying, he knew.

"It's aight," he stated. She shifted on the couch so she could put both legs up under her and get more comfortable.

"What? Lover boy ain't got cable?" he asked with an amused look on his face as she made eye contact.

That made her laugh. Fin always loved giving her shit for the men she dated no matter who it was.

"He does but I turned it off. Everything seemed to remind me of all that's happened." She gave a thoughtful pause then continued, "Even the cartoons… Scooby-Doo and the detectives solve crimes and Tom and Jerry kept beating the shit out of each other…" She laughed because it was sad and true. Cartoons even trigger her right now. Olivia felt like a mess.

"Hmmm…" was his only reply as he stared at her with questioning eyes.

She had known this was coming, she knew he was here to talk. Olivia had been friends with him for years and years now, longer than she was friends with any of the other detectives that she currently worked with. Odafin Tutuola had had her back for a long time.

Olivia ran her hands through her hair nervously, but she knew he meant well and was concerned.

"We don't have to talk.." he started.

"What do you want to know?" she challenged.

Fin was quiet for a moment and looked away, breaking eye contact.

"The report should have answered any questions you had…" she stated, still looking at him pointedly.

"… I know you read it." She boldly stated as he made eye contact again. Olivia wasn't stupid, she knew her captain had access to her case file and report, which means so did the detectives. She didn't know if Amanda or Nick read it and she wasn't sure she even cared at this poing, but she knew for a fact Fin would have read it.

"I read it." He confirmed. "I just wanna make sure no extra info was left out…" he questioned her.

She snorted with a laugh. After all that she had disclosed, all the personal, detailed items that she disclosed in her statement, he thinks she still didn't tell them everything?

"Fin, I left nothing out." She eyed him, now starting to realize what he was trying to ask her.

He stared at her, still questioning her with his eyes.

Her friend took a deep breath, and glanced away before looking her dead in the eyes once more.

"Olivia, did that son-of-a-bitch rape you?" Fin questioned with seriousness and a touch of anger that was directed at not her, but William Lewis.

She was taken aback. Fin had been so blunt and to the point. Brian hadn't even had the balls to ask her, even though she knew he had been thinking it. Unlike everyone else, Brian hadn't read the report. Not like it had been available for him to read anyways, but he would have refused it, protecting her privacy.

The brunette stared at him, her mouth still open with shock.

"Well?" he questioned further.

"No." it came out hoarse at first, so she cleared her throat and tried again with more emphasis and control of her voice, "NO."

Fin held her gaze, like he was trying to decide if she was being honest or not.

"He did things to me…" Olivia started, "terrible things, Fin."

He sat up more straight, she had all his attention. If she wanted to talk, he was damn sure going to listen.

"He touched me," she replied as he eyes filled with tears from sadness and the shame of disclosing to tell her co-worker and friend. "Everywhere." She continued. "He poured vodka down my throat every damn day I was with him. He beat me, burned me, kissed me, tied me to a bed…" she continued as she placed both feet on the floor and put her elbows on her knees so that she could put her hands in her head and stare at the floor. Her wrist was starting to hurt but it was a pain that she could deal with for now. "I can't even talk to Brian about it." She stated.

"But he DID NOT rape me" she added. Olivia took a deep breath and noted that Fin had now scooted closer to her on the couch. He was sitting beside her but not touching her. Still, she could feel his warmth.

The brunette sat there with her head in her hands as tears escaped her eyes and down her face but she made no sound.

Fin leaned over to put an arm around her shoulder. She heard him moving, knew what he was doing so she didn't flinch. "Liv, I had to ask… I'm sorry, but I had to."

She took a deep breath and leaned back against the couch, Fin's arm still hooked around her shoulder. "I know…" She quietly whispered as she looked back at him. Olivia gave him a small smile, "…and I love you for it, Odafin. So much." She really did. If it had been Amanda instead of her, she knew Fin would have done the same thing and so would she.

They sat in silence for a couple of minutes as her tears slowed to a stop.

Then, Olivia sat up on the edge of the couch and looked at him expectedly.

"What are you-" Fin started as he took his arm back from around her shoulder so she could sit up, but before he could finish his sentence, Olivia had turned to him and pulled the neckline of her shirt down, exposing the tops of her breasts and her bra. There were clear burn marks in the shapes of house keys, and of circles from cigarettes,. The marks were glistening from being covered in ointment to help them heal faster and decrease the risk of infections.

There was nothing sexual about it. She knew they saw each other as brother and sister. He cared for her deeply and she could trust him with her life, and with this.

Fin stared at her chest and swallowed the lump in his throat.

"Liv…" the seasoned detective was at a loss for words and overcome with rage, sympathy, and sadness all at the same time.

After a few more seconds, she put her shirt back and waited for him to speak. Fin had closed his eyes tight, as if seeing her wounds had physically wounded him as well.

When he finally spoke, he had opened his eyes and had a calm tone to his voice. "I'll kill him… you know that." He told her.

"I know you would." She replied. "But you're not going to. We'll get past this, all of us." She told Fin.

Once Olivia had relaxed and leaned back into the couch, he spoke again. "Anything you need, I'm here. You already know that, I'm just voicing it to remind you." Fin looked straight ahead at the blank TV as he put his arm on the back of the couch behind Olivia. "I know you have Cassidy, but if you need a shoulder, I got two of 'em you can use."

On that note as if on cue, Olivia leaned into Fin, placing her head on his shoulder and tucking her hair behind her ear so it wouldn't fall in her face.

Fin let his arm that was on the back of the couch wrap around her should and give it a light squeeze, showing his support.

"I'm fucked up, Fin. Real bad." Olivia told him.

"I got you, Liv." He replied, holding her tighter. "But there's something I need to tell you, and it might fuck you up a little bit more…" he added and her curiosity spiked.

Her head still lay on his shoulder waiting for the blow of whatever it was.

"Okay?" she said in an uncertain voice.

"He called me." Was his reply.

"What? Ugh, Fin. I told you I thought Brian called you. No need to hide it. Just keep talking about me at a minimum, okay?" was Olivia's reply as she rolled her eyes in annoyance.

"No, Liv. No that 'he'" Fin replied in a low voice.

The brunette took a deep breath and Fin could feel it from her body being slumped onto his side.

"You don't mean…" she questioned.

"Elliot" he quickly replied.

She took another huffed breath and muttered a "fuck" as she turned her face into his shoulder, trying to remain calm.

"He saw the news and freaked out, wanted to know what I could tell him and then he called again once we found you to see how you were." Fin told her.

"What did you tell him?" Olivia mumbled into his shoulder so low that he could barely make out what she had said.

"The first time I told him about Lewis, gave Elliot his MO, told him what we were doing and what we were expecting to happen." Fin replied.

"You expected me to be raped and dead." The brunette replied as she turned her face out of his shoulder again to breathe better.

Fin didn't reply, he only hugged her tighter and lifted his hand from her shoulder to run it over her hair gently, then planted a faint kiss on top of her head.

Olivia took that as confirmation. "What did he say to that, Fin?" She questioned.

"He said he wasn't an active cop anymore but that he could still do the basics. Asked if he could help in any way, assist with anything to help find you faster." He replied. "I told him no, we had everything covered and were going as fast as we could."

Fin waited a few beats before adding, "sounded like he got a choked up towards the end of the call."

"And the second time he called?" Olivia asked as her head lay still on his shoulder, not moving but listening to the information he was giving her.

"He called the day after we found you. Asked if you'd make it, I told him yes. Asked if you'd been raped…" Fin was in dangerous territory and he knew it. He knew this was breaking her heart.

He hadn't known she'd been tearing up until she finally let her voice waver as she asked him, "well," she sniffled, "what did you say?"

Fin took another deep breath, "I told him if he really wanted to know, he should ask you."

"Fuck, Fin." She laughed through her sniffles. "That was brutal, leaving him wondering if I had been raped repeatedly?" Olivia actually found this kind of funny. "That's almost as bad as what he did to me…" she added in a small, more serious voice.

"Told ya, baby girl. I got your back." Fin said again as he hugged her tighter, letting his hand rest on her shoulder again.

"He asked for your new number. Told him I'd have to clear it with you first." He told Olivia.

"Okay." Was the only reply he got. He didn't know if she meant "okay" as in give Elliot her number, or "okay" as in she understood what he had told Elliot.

"You want me to give it to him?" Fin asked.

"I don't know." Olivia honestly replied. She was confused and didn't know what she wanted, aside from wanting none of this to have ever happened and that just wasn't going to come true.

Any thoughts?