Author's note: Lately I've been thinking about returning to writing. It hasn't been easy for me. When I start to write I hate what I come up with. It all sounds awful to me. The other night I was browsing on Tumblr and came across a post of prompts titled "The angst prompts that no one wanted" and I loved a few of them. I thought giving one of them a go might be a good way to dive back in. The one I picked out was this one:
"I'm your guardian angel who's been breaking the rules and keeping you alive longer than you should be and as punishment I have to watch you die."
Immediately I thought of Ambrollins. What if foul mouthed guardian angel Seth Rollins got assigned to watch over ne'er do well Dean Ambrose? This is an AU, of course. I think this will play out in three parts. Please keep in mind that nobody is really sure what a guardian angel can or can't do or what the rules are, if there are any, so bear with me. I should mention here in the notes that this story will include slash, sex, drug use, alcohol use, and eventual character death. If any of those things bother you I suggest you turn back now. Here we go. I hope you'll enjoy this and let me know what you think. Keep in mind I've been on a long hiatus so this might not be the most incredible piece of fic you've ever stumbled across but dammit, I tried! Kidding, of course. Enjoy!
Part 1 of 3
"How great the dignity of the soul, since each one has from his birth an angel commissioned to guard it."
Seth Rollins hated his job. The problem with his situation was that he couldn't do a damned thing about it. A guardian angel couldn't just go up to the big man upstairs and turn in his resignation papers, that wasn't the way things operated. His assigned duty for eternity was to be an intercessor, a watcher, a protector. Seth was fine with his fate and accepted that it was his purpose in the afterlife. Fine, up until he was assigned to watch over Dean Ambrose.
"No. No. Dammit, c'mon. No more. Please, I'm begging you now. Where the hell do you put all of it? Do you have some kind of hollow leg that I don't know about? Oh, yeah...that's great. Order some more shots, Dean. That's a great fuckin' idea. I'll just sit over here...invisible...keeping you safe and you know...ALIVE! You make my job so much harder than is has to be. Holy shit! Sorry..." The more irate Seth became while watching Dean down shot after shot the more his wings spread out behind him, those black and yellow feathers ruffled, his wings full and wide in all their glory. Both his fists sat atop the bar, tightened in little balls while Dean, completely oblivious to Seth's presence, smiled big and gulped down half a beer in one swig. Dean had not a single care in the world, his clear blue eyes sparkling as he chatted with the female bartender. Seth's jaw tensed, the realization that he was grinding his teeth hitting him as he watched Dean down two more shots and holler for the bartender to keep them coming. "Shit. The last thing you need is more, buddy."
Seth could sit in the corner of the bar ranting and raving to himself all night long about Dean's horrid drinking habits and not a single soul would hear him. Being unexposed and hushed to the humans he walked the earth with was just fine by Seth, he wasn't sure how well liked a foul mouthed angel would be anyway and invisibility had it's benefits. One of the perks of working as a guardian angel was that you went undetected by the naked eye, a fact Seth was everlastingly grateful for. Anyone unlucky enough to catch a glimpse of him when he was watching Dean drink would see nothing but exasperation and frustration splayed across his face. Those wings that sprouted from his shoulders could reach full span when he was most angry and not a soul would be any the wiser. Of course, the person God assigns an angel to protect can see their guardian but only when the angel allows them to do so. It's only deemed acceptable to do such a thing when a soul is in extreme stress or need. Seth made sure that those instances where he revealed himself were few and far between. Even though he longed to make himself visible to Dean more often than he wanted to admit to himself or anyone else, he only dared to do so when Dean was in danger or needed his help most. Lately those instances were popping up more and more frequently, though. That bothered him. What worried him more than anything else was how deeply he cared about Dean. Angels were meant to protect and care for their assigned souls, yes. They weren't supposed to fall for them.
Seth slouched over the bar as Dean flipped through the karaoke song book. Another Friday night, another night of watching Dean drink himself silly. Literally silly. Seth wasn't sure he could take another one of Dean's karaoke renditions of Billy Idol the man was so fond of doing once there was the right amount of liquor in him. Long ago he'd lost count of just how much Dean had consumed in the couple of hours since he'd arrived at this establishment. All he knew for sure was that he was sick and tired of watching Dean feed his addiction and it was only ten thirty, early by Dean's standards.
Seth smoothed down his feathers and tucked his wings against his back, groaning as he rose to his feet and followed Dean to the bathroom. A grown man of twenty eight shouldn't need an angel to accompany him to the toilet but Seth wasn't going to take any chances, not after the incident a few weeks ago where Dean nearly cracked his skull open on a bar's bathroom sink. Luckily Seth was present and fast enough to catch him to keep from harm and so he would be tonight as well, along with every other night for as long as Dean lived. Seth's job was to make sure that was a long time, a Herculean task for sure and one that no other angel envied him for.
"Take a piss and that's it, please, I'm begg...Oh, goddammit!" Seth sighed and rolled his eyes as he watched Dean pull a prescription pill bottle from his pocket and fumble to open the childproof lid. "Sorry, boss. Didn't mean to, it slipped out." Dean cursed and twisted the white top first left and then right as he tugged on it and when that didn't produce results he banged it against the edge of the sink, his lips pursed and brow furrowed all the while. "Dean, won't you just take the fact that you can't get the bottle open as a major hint that you don't need the pills? What do I have to do here? You are the absolute worst at picking up on hints, I swear." Dean wasn't about to give up, even if Seth had tried by willing the top to stick. After working at it for several more minutes and ripping some of the skin off his palm Seth relented and allowed Dean to pop open the bottle, slightly amused at how determined Dean was. "If only you put that much effort into other ventures in life, buddy."
Seth leaned back against the edge of the sink beside the one Dean was posted up at, angry and disappointed as he watched Dean shake a few pills from the bottle out onto his palm. "Sometimes I think you're hopeless, Dean. I don't want to think that. I really don't. You infuriate me to no end, you know that? I'm supposed to have heaps of patience but you truly test me, my friend. Why can't you just get your shit together? Fuck, I wish I could shake you right now. Those pills are garbage. You keep fucking taking them and they don't solve your problems. They numb you temporarily and what then, huh? You're back to shoving them down your throat and chasing them with alcohol." Seth let Dean swallow down the first two pills he pinched between his fingers and popped in his mouth. The rest of the little white tablets met an untimely end when Seth reached out and slapped the bottle from Dean's grip, sending it flying and causing the contents to rattle around in the sink before eventually rolling down the drain. Of course to Dean this felt like nothing more than an accident, all he knew was the bottle slipped from his grasp and went flying. He had no way of knowing Seth had stepped in.
"Fuck. FUCK FUCK FUCK!" Seth had to stifle a laugh as Dean cursed and clawed wildly at the drain.
"Yeah, you miss those pills, don't you? Too bad. You're lucky I let you take any of them. You're a fucking mess, Dean. If I didn't love you so much I'd give up on you right here and now, ask for a different assignment and leave you with another angel. I wouldn't do that to you, though. I'd miss you...and you'd probably croak within a week without me."
Seth's heartfelt words fell on deaf ears. Dean continued desperately digging his fingers down the drain in hopes of snagging some of his pills. "Dammit. Fuck! Fuck! Motherfucker!" Dean's string of obscenities didn't stop until the bathroom filled up with a few more bar patrons. Seth nearly felt sorry for him, poor, pathetic Dean had a genuine look of sadness on his face at the loss of his precious pills.
"You swear almost as much as I do, buddy." Seth laughed softly as he followed Dean out the door, using the tip of his wing to straighten the collar on Dean's jacket as they shuffled down the hallway and back towards the bar.
A few hours went by without another situation where Seth felt like he needed to intervene and that was fine by him. He knew he'd have to save his energy for later on in the night. The wee hours of the morning? That when the real action started. By the time last call rolled around Dean was busy chatting up a young lady, a short girl with big tits and a tight skirt, just Dean's type. His new female friend was quick to latch on and within a few minutes of talking with him her tongue was already down his throat. The mere sight of it made Seth groan. "Really? This is what we're doing now? Jesus Christ...Sorry."
Not fifteen minutes later Dean and his new lady friend were tangled up in the backseat of his car, busy making out like two teenagers. Seth couldn't watch but he could tell by the thick fog spread over the window that both of them were enjoying their little make out session and he was thankful that at least this temporary distraction might give Dean an opportunity to sober up a tiny bit. Dean and his companion emerged from the car a few minutes later, hair mussed and cheeks flushed. Much to Seth's chagrin Dean climbed in the driver's side and behind the wheel. Seth could read the woman with Dean, she was far more sober than he was. He had to step in.
"You're going to drive. Tell Dean you'll drive." Seth whispered in her ear, the tip of his wing wrapped around her waist as he guided her to the driver's side door.
"I'll drive." She smiled sweetly as she stared down at Dean and winked. Seth let out a big breath when Dean shrugged and climbed out.
"Thank you." Seth mouthed quietly, his hands clasped together as he gazed up at the night sky.
It was only a short drive back to Dean's apartment but Seth made sure they got there safely. Every now and then he used his wings to make sure Dean's date kept her focus on the road and hands on the wheel instead of inside Dean's jeans. He wasn't worried about her so much as Dean and wondered to himself where this girl's angel was tonight. Maybe it was their night off? Maybe they'd had enough of her shit? Either way, Seth made sure they both got inside Dean's place intact.
Seth flopped down at the foot of Dean's bed and frowned as the worst part of his night started. The sex. It wasn't intrinsically dangerous, the only protection Dean would need was a reminder to wear a condom. Seth loathed watching Dean intimate with a woman because he was jealous, plain and simple. No matter the girl he brought home, Seth always imagined himself in her place. As a guardian angel he knew this was against the rules and could bring about swift and harsh punishment but he couldn't help himself. Seth was unable watch Dean fuck a woman without imagining what it would be like to be in her place. He's well aware so much as entertaining such thoughts is way out of line and there's nothing that can be done about it. Angels don't get to have sex lives with their souls. Things just don't work that way. Still, Seth's jealous every time he's subjected to watching Dean shove his tongue inside some girl's mouth. Even though it's wrong and he shouldn't Seth always ponders what it might be like to kiss Dean, to be the one he shares such an intimate act with.
Once clothes are shed Dean's naked first and Seth's glad, as much as Dean punishes his body it's still in good shape. Dean's lean and tall, his shoulders broad and waist impossibly narrow. That girl with him can't possibly appreciate Dean's body how Seth does, he's sure of it. "C'mon. Let's get this over with." Seth's rested on the edge of the bed as Dean and his girl picked up where they left off in the parking lot, making out and breathing heavy like teenagers while they rolled around on the mattress. Seth shook his head and looked away, disgusted. "What number is this girl for the week, Dean? Three? Four? You probably don't know any better than I do, huh?"
"You got a condom?" Seth's ears perked up and he turned towards Dean, silently praying he'd make the right choice.
Dean fished around in the top drawer of his dresser and came back empty handed. "Uh, nah. Must be out."
"It's cool." Dean's lady friend didn't seem phased by the lack of protection but Seth sure was.
"You fucking liar! There's a drawer full of condoms, I made sure of that. Dammit, Dean. Do you want to catch something? Sometimes I think you've got a goddamned death wish." Seth frowned and stomped over to the bedside. He reached in to grab a condom and shoved it inside Dean's palm, his wings flapping out in anger as he watched Dean glance down at it with a dumbfounded expression on his face.
"Oh, found it. Guess I did have one..." Dean laughed, rubbing the foil packet between his finger and thumb.
"Dammit..."
Seth retreated to the corner when things heated up between Dean and his new friend. Seth couldn't remember Dean asking for her name or her even offering it for that matter and he was sure Dean liked it better that way. Dean's new nameless companion sucked his cock for a long time, bringing Seth's envy level to a brand new height. He watched as the young lady's mouth moved up and down the length of Dean's hard, thick cock and had to wipe the drool from the corner of his mouth. He couldn't recall ever being quite this envious before and it damn near made his head spin. "Fuck." Seth shifted and found the best angle possible to watch Dean's cock disappear down her throat. In his mind it wasn't that woman satisfying Dean with her mouth, it was him sucking Dean's dick. "What the fuck is wrong with me? Angels aren't supposed to lust after their souls. I must be sick in the head." Each time the girl's mouth moved over the swollen head of Dean's cock he let out a low, deep whimper. To Seth they sounded almost akin to growls and he drank in each of them, memorizing the sound and committing it to memory. That was the sound he longed to bring out of Dean himself. Though Seth knew it was impossible and reckless to even toy with such an idea, he envisioned pushing that random girl off the bed and replacing her, revealing himself and swallowing Dean's cock down his own throat. Seth knew that was infeasible and merely tinkering with the notion made his stomach twist in a knot and his heart grow heavy.
"Just fuck her already, would you? Get it over with." The longer Dean's female companion blew him the more Seth's urge to take over for her increased. Dean's cock shined with her spit and his hips bucked in time to match her efforts. All Seth could do was watch. He grew more covetous with each passing moment, wholly engrossed in imagining how it would feel for Dean's thick cock to stretch his lips and mouth wide. "Forgive me, Father. I know I'm wrong."
Seth ducked out once the girl rolled the rubber down Dean's shaft and straddled him. He retreated to the kitchen and pulled up a chair, deciding to wait until things were finished to check on Dean again. Little solace was found, however. Dean's new friend made sure to make as much noise as humanly possible, to Seth's implicit disdain. "Wake up the neighborhood, why don't you? Good lo...sorry. I'm really terrible at this, aren't I? I'm a gutter mouthed angel who may or may not be in love with the person he's appointed to protect. I really gotta move up or find another line of work, man." Seth leaned back in his chair, those outlandish, laborious wails still coming from the bedroom. He attempted to clear his head and think of something, literally anything but Dean, genuinely he did. Cracking his knuckles distracted him for a few moments and grooming his feathers served as a temporary diversion. It was no use, however. Seth couldn't help but drift back to improper thoughts and imagined how it would be if it were him writhing atop Dean's cock in that bed. If he closed his eyes tight and steadied his breathing he swore he could almost feel it. "Fuck, this is too much. I can't do this any longer. Maybe Dean's not the one who needs to get his shit together after all."
Seth waited it out until the moaning and squeaking of bed springs halted for good. Thankfully Dean shooed his companion out in record time, hardly permitting her adequate time to dress herself again before showing her the door. Seth trailed just steps behind Dean as he made his way back to bed. Once there he flopped headlong into his pillow, still bare ass naked.
"You're a mess." Seth extracted a clean sheet from Dean's dresser drawer and draped it over his prone body along with a light blanket, Dean's grunting and snoring the only thank you he could muster in his current state. Seth arranged the blanket over Dean's shoulders and sat on the edge of the bed, watching him in silence. He'd arrived at the portion of the night when guilt and shame took over, struck with the reality of just how audacious and wrong his thoughts from earlier truly were given his role in Dean's life. "I can't have you, Dean. It's all I can do to keep you safe and alive. That's enough. It has to be. There's no other way. You need to stay alive and I need to carry out my obligations. Just take it easy on me for a change, would you?" Seth regarded Dean one final time, giving him a long last look before slipping out the window and flying off towards the heavens. He'd be seeing Dean again soon enough, that was certain.
Final author's note: So, yeah...let me know what you thought of this first part? I hope I've managed to do the prompt justice so far. If you liked it I'd love to hear from you. Constructive criticism is also welcome. I feel like a giant monkey when I sit in front of my laptop and write so any and all help and guidance is appreciated. Thank you for reading! Part two will be coming soon.
