The Shamy Chronicles

Part One: The Extinction of the Anti-Coitus Relationship

CHAPTER ONE: The Crying Physicist

Disclaimer: I do not own The Big Bang Theory, otherwise many other things would be taking place in the storyline.

*Knock, knock, knock* "Penny."

Penny sighs and gets up from her couch, heading towards the door.

*Knock, knock, knock* "Penny."

She stands on the other side of the door, waiting for the final set of knocking.

*Knock, knock, knock* "Penny."

Surprisingly, the man's voice on the other side of the door breaks, and Penny hears a muffled catch in his throat.

Confused, Penny opens the door.

Sheldon Cooper stands in front of her, eyes red and puffy, with a very dismal expression on his face.

"Sheldon?" Penny asks, cocking her head furrowing her brow in concern.

"H-Hello, Penny." He greets her, shaking and twitching in what appears to be anger and sadness. "M-May I come in?"

"Of course, sweetie!" She nods and backs up to sit down on the couch again.

He joins her, still shaking.

"What's wrong?" She asks.

"World Hunger, War, Greed…" Sheldon's voice trails off, and he looks away.

Ever the Literalist. Penny thinks, and she shakes her head. "No, sweetie, I meant what's wrong with you?"

Sheldon looks taken aback, and for a moment he seems to have forgotten about his worries, whatever they were. "I'm not crazy, my mother had me tested. Haven't I told you that?"

Penny bites her lip and sighs again. "No, that's not what I meant either. I meant why do you seem so upset?"

"Oh." Sheldon's face falls again. He looks at his feet, and actually looks like he's going to cry. "Well…"

"Sheldon?" Penny says again, this time in slight understanding. "Does this have something to do with Amy?"

"Yes." He replies, not looking up, and she sees a tear fall from his face to his lap.

"What happened?" Penny asks, reaching out to him. But then she remembers whose back she's about to rub, and she contracts her hand.

Sheldon didn't answer right away; he just turned and grasped the couch cushion, and started sobbing.

Amy Farrah Fowler, Sheldon's girlfriend, had been over to the apartment that Sheldon shared with his roommate, (and Penny's boyfriend) Leonard Hofstadter, only a half-hour beforehand. Penny had been heading downstairs to do her laundry in the Laundry Room by the mailboxes when Amy arrived, happy and bubbly like she always was when heading to see Sheldon. Penny had her headphones in, so they shared a brief smile-and-nod greeting before Amy headed up the stairs to his apartment. However, Penny's iPod had died so when she was returning out of the laundry room, she could hear Amy running back down the stairs after only ten minutes. Penny tried to call out to her, but Amy was not in the mood to talk. All Penny saw was Amy's broken, sobbing face as she ran out of the building. Penny shrugged, intending to ask Sheldon about it later.

But she didn't; as she walked back into her apartment to drop off her laundry basket before interrogating Sheldon (oh, damn… she really was spending too much time with them if she planned to 'interrogate' him) her cell phone rang. Bernadette was calling her to gossip about Howard's new technique for buying her on-sale clothes; he would scout the internet clothing sites for days, looking for a good sale, all just for her, and wasn't that just the cutest thing?

Bernadette and Penny had just said goodbye when Sheldon knocked at her door.

So here he was, broken and now sobbing into Penny's couch cushion, just like Amy would have, had she come upstairs with Penny rather than brush her off.

Yes, Doctor Sheldon Cooper was sobbing on Penny's couch.

"What happened, sweetie?" She asks again, and this time he answers.

"She dumped me, Penny!" He cries, hitting the couch with his fist.

Penny looks beyond dumbstruck, as though Rajesh Koothrapalli had just spoken to her while sober. "What?!"

"She wanted to go further with the physical contact, and I stood my ground. Then she just burst into tears and said 'We're over, Sheldon Cooper'!" Sheldon says, sniffling and looking at Penny with a sorrowful face. "I didn't even get to say anything towards my case when she left, slamming the door. I would have gone to Leonard for comfort, but as you know, he's at work and he doesn't like it when people bug him at work. He said only in emergencies, and this is not an emergency."

Penny almost laughs, though she stops when she sees Sheldon break down again, sobbing into the couch cushion behind him.

"How could she?" He sobs.

"Aww, sweetie, you were just in different places in the relationship. Like Leonard and I were, a few years ago."

"You mean when he said he loved you and you said 'Thank you'?" Sheldon stops sobbing to look at her quizzically.

Penny purses her lips, sighing through her nose. "Yes."

"But you and Leonard got over that. And Amy and I will never get over this. She seemed very upset." Sheldon's voice breaks again, and he looks at his lap.

Suddenly, Penny's matchmaking skills are intrigued. "Well, if Leonard and I can get over that then you and Amy can get over this! Problem solved, right?" She says hopefully.

It doesn't work. "But you and Leonard are better at this; you've both been in relationships before. I've never been. Amy has, but they haven't lasted very long."

"That's what friends are for. We can help you!" Penny says, again feeling hopeful.

It works this time. "Really?" Sheldon looks happy for the first time since he arrived.

Penny smiles. "Really."

"Oh, excellent! So when do we start? Right now?" Sheldon's eyes sparkle.

Penny sighs, hating to burst his (metaphorical) bubble. "We have to give Amy some time, sweetie."

"But it's already been 45 minutes, how much more time does she need?" Sheldon looks genuinely confused.

I keep forgetting who I'm dealing with here. Penny shakes her head, smiling again. "Amy will need at least 24 hours, Sheldon. Girls are more fragile than boys when this kind of thing happens.

Sheldon shrugs. "Oh, alright." He gets up, and so does Penny. "Thanks for your help, Penny."

Then something unexpected happens; Sheldon (awkwardly) hugs her.

Penny starts, but then hugs him back.

However unexpected, it doesn't last long despite her shock. Sheldon pulls away, and leaves to his own apartment.

Just as unexpectedly, he returns just ten seconds later.

"Forgot to close the door." He grins. "I hope Amy will forgive me…" He mumbles, unaware Penny can hear him, shutting the door before she could point it out.

Penny shakes her head. "Poor Sheldon."