Cold, Freezing, Chilled to the bone, none of these words could truly express the limb-numbing sensations from the subzero climate. The one thing that was worse than anything else was that if it was this bad for me it must be at least ten times worse for Commander Spock.
"Captain this is Commander Spock, please beam Doctor McCoy aboard. He seems to be experiencing hypothermia."
Great now the green-blooded hobgoblin is worried about me. This cannot be allowed to stand, I'm the Chief Medical Officer damn it! If anyone is getting beamed aboard it's Spock.
"Delay that order Captain. I am perfectly fine. I demand that Commander Spock be beamed aboard immediately. He needs to be in sickbay Jim, he's turning green." There, that will get him where I need him.
"Captain I do not require medical attention. I am still able to complete my duties as Chief Science Officer."
Ha! That hobgoblin thinks he can lie to the Captain, well that's not going to happen. I'll just go around him.
"McCoy to Transporter Room, I need an emergency transport for Commander Spock. He needs to be transported aboard then rushed to sickbay for treatment. This is a direct order from your Chief Medical Officer."
If he gets out of that one then I'll give up drinking until I see my daughter again. And that's a long time coming so he better get on the ship.
"McCoy this is the Transporter Room, we are standing by for transport. Please have Commander Spock stand still. We'll beam him aboard on your order."
Right, how to do that? Ah, I know. I'll just make sure he doesn't suspect me.
"Hey Spock, come over here. I think I've found something in this frozen tundra of a planet."
"I am on my way McCoy."
I've got him right where I want him. Just a few more moments and he's back in the warmth of the ship. I'll show him I mean business once I have to defrost his green toes.
"This is a fascinating plant you have found McCoy. It seems to thrive in the blistering winds and subzero temperature. It is most fortunate that you brought this plant to my attention."
Huh. So I actually found something. Here I was just trying to get him to stand still. Serves me right for trying to lie to Spock.
"Transporter Room this is McCoy. I have Commander Spock stationary. Lock on and beam him aboard. Now."
There he goes straight to sickbay. I'll just harvest this plant for him. He'll need something to look at while I lock him in sickbay.
"McCoy to Bridge. Get our frozen asses out of here!"
A/N: Right, new style of writing for me. Let me know if I succeeded or failed.
