DANGER MOUSE:

JUST ANOTHER PLACE ON EARTH

WRITTEN BY ZARIUS

(Based off ideas by bravekid)


Squawk wondered just where he was right now. This heroic hamster.

He slept soundly, he was physically present in the Danger Agency A&E, wired up from head to chest to toe by heart monitors, but where was his mind? What was it conjuring up to help him cope with a situation that was crippling his body?

As she monitored his condition, checking the instruments for vital signs, she stared longingly at his features, his eyelids firmly closed, his mouth drooling, his arms clutched tightly around his faithful bear Bernard.

At times, his grip on the bear loosened, and the toy came close to slipping from his grasp, but Squawk was able to catch it and, as gently as she could, slip it back into Penfold's hands.

Colonel K arrived at the Danger Agency A&E, concern on his face.

"How is Preston doing?"

Squawk could feel minor pangs of frustration build up inside of her, annoyed that even in these most crucial of hours the Colonel could not bring himself to address Penfold by his correct name.

Nevertheless, she opted to be professional around him.

"His heartrate hasn't spiked in hours, if we keep him in this medically induced state, his vitals should resume as normal"

"Remind me to raise his salary"

Get his name wrong again, and you'd best worry about raising my temper Squawk thought to herself.

The Colonel walked over to the desk beside Penfold, containing a jar of custard jam.

"Is this the sample the boffins at the lab requested?" he asked.

"Yes, when we managed to pump out Penfold's stomach, we made sure to leave some scraps for research"

"Splendid, I'll just help myself to a small spread; I need something to put on my toasted ham sandwiches"

"Excuse me? Colonel, I hope you're aware Penfold almost gave his life consuming a whole factories worth of that stuff because Greenback had contaminated the Jam with a special chemical that caused it to expand from within upon contact with the digestive tract"

"By 'digestive' I thought that just meant it turned your stomach into a whole-wheat biscuit, and whole-wheat is good for you"

"Just tell me how long it'll take for Danger Mouse to get here. People can hear people talk even when they're in comas you know, a little reassurance from his best friend would do Penfold a big favour on the road to recovery"

"Danger Mouse is still in charge of the cleanup operation down in Bristol, he can't be spared"

"It would help if you could give him and the other agents something better to work with than just a pair of mops so they could get the job done quicker"

"If you're so certain Penfold can hear us, why don't you talk to him?"

Squawk was startled at the suggestion.

"Me? What could I possibly say to him? His head's so thick you might as well be describing Danger Mouse's waist, there's no way I could talk to him about my interests in scientific advances using technical jargon without it coming across as gibberish, I'll feel like I'm wasting my time"

"Well, you two have a lot in common, what about that musical you're so fond of? I've seen you and Penfold play a lot with that toy walrus"

"Ok, home comforts, expressions of our friendship, I catch your drift, I'll try it"

"Splendid, get on with it and get him out of what little jam he's still stuck in, I'll get what I can out of this jam"

Fine, digest the day's events, but you won't come out the other end smelling like biscuits thought Squawk.

She turned to the comatose Penfold, and her mind drifted back to what she thought about earlier, the matter of his mind and where it had drifted off to.

She thought of how to best put her case forward, how to speak to him as meaningfully as she could, from the heart, with feeling, with love.

And through song.

"Where are you now?

Your tiny thoughts?

Everything you wish you were

Locked away in the box?

Where are you now?

What can you see?

Is there somewhere, some place, some time

You can spend with me?

I know what you are

You're in my sights

I know all that you desire

I live your life

Heaven knows where you've landed

And heaven lies right here

Half of your world in the distance

Your better half is near

For I've seen what lies

In one man's worth

You fight forever where you've landed

Just another place on Earth"

"Professor?" a weary and groggy Penfold said as his eyes opened and he began to stir

"Oh Penfold, you're awake, lie still, I'll call in the rest of the staff"

"What was all that racket about? Is it X-Factor season already? Have I been out for the whole of spring and summer?"

Squawk snarled, she clenched her fists and glared sharply at Penfold.

"You thought there was a racket?" she said, scowling.

"Quite a din, but I have to admit, it was catchy. Who was singing?"

Squawk decided Penfold was in too vulnerable a state to bellow at, and chose to cover up for her impromptu music session.

"Oh, just one of the nurses, you know how they get on late night shifts"

"It's 7:40 in the morning" Penfold replied.

"Well that's technically the middle of the night in other time zones" Squawk explained.

"Oh, I never thought of it like that before" Penfold said.

"Well, I'd best get going, pop 'round to the lab when you're good to go"

"Professor? Could you stay a little longer please?" Penfold said

Hesitantly, Squawk tried to make some excuse to turn the request down.

"Well, Penfold, I, you see, I..."

"It's just, I've never been in a situation like that before, it really makes you think about how long you've got left to tick, I'd rather spend some time thinking it over with a good friend"

Squawk beamed, she walked over and sat on the edge of the bed, reaching out for Penfold and gently cradling him as he rocked back and forth with Bernard clutched tightly in his arms.

"I was thinking Professor, that last lyric of the song I heard, it reminds me of that other Earth that wound up getting duplicated when you activated the light speed drive, have you been observing activity on it like you said you would?"

"Yes I have, it doesn't quite mirror what we're up to over here. I've recently gotten married over there"

"Really? Didn't think you were the marrying kind, who was it to?"

"Danger Mouse" Squawk replied, trying not to break into hysterics at the absurdity of the notion.

Penfold, however, was very easily triggered by the idea, and did all the laughing for her.

Squawk smiled, laughter was the best possible medicine, and it was taking his mind off of his mortality, anything that made him happy made her ecstatic.

She thought a great deal about that other Earth, about the alternative choices her double had made, and wondered just what she was thinking.

How could that double pass up any opportunity to spend time in the company of this hamster, this hero, her hero, forever more?

She vowed that she would never pass that opportunity up.

It moved her, it shaped her, it made her feel accomplished, and it made her feel desired.

It's what made her tick.

If there was a chance to be there for him forever more, she would change her mind on which she was now.

She'd become just another loved one, with just another loving family.

In just another place on Earth.