Title: Never Never
Author: RebelByrdie
Fandom: Once Upon A Time
Ship: FairyQueen or Swan Queen or neither or both…It's complicated.
Rating: PG
Spoilers: Everything is fair game
Summary: This is the tale of the three times Regina visited Neverland and her adventures there. This is the story of a fairy's banishment, the power of a promise, and a mothers' love.
Author's Note: My FairyQueen head canon begins here!
Thanks: A huge thanks to ExactChange, who has generously volunteered as tribute, I mean to be my beta. Wonderful, excellent, absolutely amazing help on this story. I may or may not have 'em chained up in my basement for help with future writing endeavors.
Never Never
Part I
Bye Bye, Tink
Her dress, the one she had worn for as long as she could remember, was in ruins. The skirt, once full of frills and fluff, was limp and torn. The bodice was stained and hung loose from where she had lost weight, something she had never had to worry about before. The worst of it, though, was that the open back of the dress, once necessary, now only served one purpose: to show her scars. When a fairy was banished, their wings, beautiful gossamer extensions of their souls, were removed. It had been more painful and traumatizing than she had imagined anything could ever be. She woke up gasping every time she laid down to sleep as the thick pink scars burned, itched and pulsed. The muscles that had once served to power her wings bunched, twitched and trembled all day. Her entire being ached to fly—only she could never do so again. Tinker Bell was a banished fairy and there was not enough magic in all of Neverland, in all of the universe, to give her back her wings. So she wandered through the thick, hot forest on foot, simultaneously unsure and unconcerned about her destination. She hid from the wild boys who ran amuck, and from Pan and his sinister Shadow. She had no magic; she couldn't do anything or help anyone. She couldn't even help herself. She wasn't a fairy, she wasn't a godmother, she was just Tinker Bell and really, what good was that?
Her life, such as it was, fell into a routine of running, hiding and crying. It had been weeks, perhaps months, since her banishment and she was still a mess. She would have stayed that way, lost and confused, except one day something happened. Something wonderful, something terrible, something life changing: a child wandered by the small cave she had claimed as her home.
Not that children were unusual in Neverland. There were boys literally everywhere. Neverland was a haven of boys. The Lost Boys, as Peter Pan called them. Only this was decidedly not a boy. The female child, wrapped in a green cloak was small and crying—two things that tugged deeply at Tinker Bell's heart. She edged closer to the mouth of the cave, careful and alert. If this was one of Pan's tricks, it was certainly a good one. Pan did not take girls, only boys. He was forever in search of a certain boy and would not stop until he found him. Tinker Bell both hoped for and dreaded the day that he did. She hoped because on that day that the special boy finally arrived, Pan would stop hunting and taking innocent boys and turning them into little monsters. What would be done to that boy, though, terrified her.
But as she watched, she noted that no one, flesh and blood boy or Shadow, followed the girl. She was alone, much like Tinker Bell.
"Girl!" she shouted.
The little girl turned quickly, and Tinker Bell could see her face. She wanted to cry herself, the little girl's face was a mess. Her mouth and chin were coated in blood and both of her eyes were blackened and swollen. It was a miracle that the girl could even see.
"Who's there?" the child answered.
Her words were slurred, as if her jaw was swollen. This girl, not more than five, had been beaten—beaten badly and without mercy. Poor little baby. Though she knew it was a risk, Tinker Bell walked out of the cave towards the child.
"Please don't fear me, Child. I only want to help," she stated calmly.
As she drew closer, she saw that the child's clothing, blood spattered and torn, was finely made. This was no peasant girl. The little girl flinched away as Tinker Bell approached, pulling her cloak around her and hiding inside, leaving only two frightened little eyes peering out. Tinker Bell knelt down so she could see eye-to-eye with the child. It was an odd experience, actually being bigger than someone else. She was used to being quite a bit smaller.
"What happened to you? How did you arrive here?" she asked softly.
These questions caused the tiny girl to step back and Tinker Bell sighed a little. Apparently she needed a new tact.
"I'm sorry, that was rude," she said, offering her hand to shake (she'd seen humans and dwarves do such things). "My name is Tinker Bell."
The girl blinked and wrapped her tiny fingers around the ex-fairy's much-bigger hand, "I'm Regina," she said, little voice thin and ragged.
That's all it took; just one tiny act of civility and the girl, Little Regina, came to her and walked with her to a nearby stream. She cleaned the girl's face and found that the child's upper lip had been sliced completely through. It would leave a scar to be sure.
"How did you come here, My Little Princess?" she tried again.
Regina giggled at that. "I'm not a pwincess," she replied. The girl sometimes wobbled on her 'r's and Tinker Bell found it precious. "I'm only a Lady."
Her eyes flicked down, "But Mother says one day I will be queen."
There was something in the way the little girl (she was almost four summers old) said 'queen' that made Tinker Bell's heart clench. "Well, you are the only girl on the entire island, so that makes you a princess here. My princess, to be precise." Though it must have hurt, Regina smiled, and Tinker Bell's heart melted.
That's all it took.
On Regina's second day in Neverland, as they were getting ready for bed, that the little girl asked Tinker Bell the question—the one the blonde haired pixie had known would come eventually. "What happened to your back, Tink? Did it hurt real bad?"
Tink settled the girl in the hammock that she had liberated from the Pirate Camp before she climbed onto the sailcloth herself. "It does hurt," she replied honestly. "When I–" she tried to think of how to explain her banishment and punishment to a child. She started again, more carefully. "When I was sent away from home, my Mistress was very cross with me and–"
"Oh," said Regina suddenly. She turned her head away and hid behind a curtain of dark hair, wrapping her two small arms around herself and curling up into a tiny human ball. Tinker Bell stopped speaking because it was very clear that Regina did not want to hear anymore.
Tinker Bell wasn't surprised. Regina had no doubt come from a Noble household wherein she had watched servants mistreated long before she had truly even understood what masters and servants were.
"When I'm bad, Mother lashes my back too. Until I'm good again," she offered, her voice somehow even smaller than usual.
Tinker Bell's heart broke anew at that statement. "But you're very good, Tink. I'm sorry your Mistress hit you. You're good and didn't deserve it," Regina whispered, yawning.
Tinker Bell snuggled the child close and rested her chin on top of her dark head, "No one deserves to be hit, Regina. No one." The silence that followed was soon broken by tiny snores of the child nestled against Tink's side. The blonde ex-fairy lay awake for awhile, allowing her mind to wander.
She was not a fairy anymore, nor a godmother, but fate had a way of making things right. She knew, in the deepest parts of her heart and soul, that Regina was one of her god children. This was not just one of them, this was the one. Regina was the suffering babe that she had been going to save that night. That horrible night when she had disobeyed The Blue Fairy. Or had tried to, at least. In fact, it could be said that her love of Regina had, indirectly, led to her banishment. And even more upsetting, it was because of her inability to save Regina, the little girl had been beaten so badly that she would forever bear the marks. It was because she had failed as a Fairy Godmother, Regina had wandered into Neverland: The Last Sanctuary of the Lost and Abused Children. At least this is what Neverland had been before Pan perverted it.
Soon, Tink grew weary of these thoughts and closed her eyes. Within moments, she followed little Regina into dreamland.
It was on Regina's fifth day in Neverland that he arrived. All fairies knew of him. Tinker Bell had heard the stories and the legends. He had once brokered peace during the Children's Campaign of the long-lasting Ogre Wars. He had, at that time, destroyed kingdoms and chosen kings. He was as old as the oldest fairy but never aged a day. He was the Dark One.
"Hello, Dearie," he said, voice heavy with ulterior motives but light and almost cheerful with faux mirth, a devil in disguise.
Tink looked around and was simultaneously concerned and relieved to find that Regina was nowhere to be seen.
"What are you doing here?" she asked, backing up a step and trying to determine the best way to run. She was without wand or fairy dust, and therefore utterly powerless against a creature so powerful that Reul Ghorm herself feared him. The only place she could possibly run for protection would be the Lost Boys' camp and she would rather die than fall into their clutches. Even if she did run, she had little doubt that the Dark One would capture her. She quickly deduced that the only way to survive this encounter would be to remain steadfast and answer his questions. It was not bravery, it was survival, plain and simple. Tinker Bell pushed her terror away and tried to force her face to remain blank and impassive, just like she had seen The Blue Fairy do so many times before. She took in the monster before her. His skin was golden hued and reptilian, his eyes devilishly cold, and on his bones (for he was not much more than skin and bones) he draped clothing made of ridiculously ornate leather and jewels. He was just as intimidating and powerful as she had been told. Dark magic crackled around him in a malevolent aura. She twitched her lips and crossed her arms over her chest, pretending to be unimpressed with the demon before her. She knew how dangerous this was; he could kill her where she stood and she'd be dead before she hit the ground. Her mind raced, knowing she had to find a way to give him what he needed and not die in the process.
"I am looking for a little girl," he stated simply, flicking his wrist into the air. It hovered about three feet and a few inches above the ground, "About yea high," he added, grinning. "A precocious little tyke: dark hair, dark eyes, cute little smile. She was very naughty," he continued, wagging a finger in the air, a small sick smile playing at the corner of his lips. "And ran away from her Mother." His eyes narrowed, his smile becoming truly creepifying. "Have you seen her?"
Tinker Bell knew what fear was; she understood it, and had dealt with it time and time again. She had been afraid the very first time she'd fetched a bag of fairy dust on her own. She had been afraid when she had appeared to her very first godchild. She had been afraid when they had mercilessly stripped her wings off her back and snapped her wand. But none of that compared to the fear she now felt in the presence of the Dark One. She knew from what little Regina had told her that her mother routinely abused her, but for the Dark One to come to claim her was. . . was. . . The thought trailed off in her head, too dark and too disturbing to pursue. No wonder Regina had so desperately needed a fairy godmother; her life was fated to be nothing but darkness unless someone helped her.
"No," she lied to him smoothly.
Her wings and magic were already gone, and all that remained was her life—and she give that up, too, if it meant that the little girl who cried out for her mother's mercy every night would be safe.
"I think you're lying, Dearie."
Dark magic surrounded her, ice cold and sharp like pins being shoved into her skin, one at a time. She felt herself lift of the ground, and after weeks of being flightless the sensation was jarring and strange.
"Tink!" A small, high pitched voice echoed through the trees and Tinker Bell felt her stomach drop. She heard Regina crashing through the underbrush, happily unaware of the danger she was running towards. She opened her mouth to warn the tiny girl away, but found that her voice had been silenced.
She watched, eyes wide, as a cloud of purple smoke enveloped the Dark One. She dropped to the ground and desperately strained to see through the smoke, hoping that when the smoke cleared, the evil beast would be gone.
She was only half right. The man that stood before her when the smoke dissipated looked different. He was slightly shorter, but more solidly built. He had the look of a man who had trained with a sword and on the ballroom floor. His complexion was dark and his hair black, his eyes twinkled with mirth. Tinker Bell knew this face, this man and the boy he had once been. "Henry." Her voice caught in her throat. Henry was Regina's father? Of course, she could see the resemblance now. She had been their family patron, the fairy that was supposed to protect them for generations. If Henry had married a woman cruel enough to beat their daughter than she had failed more than one generation of their family.
"Daddy!" Regina, green cloak flowing behind her, ran to the man she thought was her father. "Tink, look!" she shouted, still not noticing anything amiss. " It's my Daddy! He came and found me!"
The Not-Henry picked the child up and kissed both of her cheeks. Regina looked so very happy, and it broke Tinker Bell's heart.
She wanted to grab the girl and hold her close. She wanted to warn her, to unveil the Dark One's ruse. Her voice, however, was still locked in her throat by magic, so she could only nod, and even that was forced by the Dark One's magic.
"Daddy this is Tink. She's my fwiend."
Not-Henry's dark eyes were still as cold as arctic ice and they flicked between the two females. "That's great, sweetheart," he responded. Regina hugged the man's neck. "She fixed my boo-boos," she stated, pointing towards where Tinker Bell lay on the grass.
He nodded, "That's what fairies do, Regina. They help lost little girls. You were very lucky to find Tinker Bell."
Regina's eyes widened, "You're a fairy?"
Tinker Bell nodded, still not sure if her voice would work.
"Oh!" Regina's awe made Tinker Bell's throat clench and it had nothing to do with magic. Then the little girl frowned and Tinker Bell knew that the clever girl had pieced together the truth about her scars. She wiggled until the Dark One lowered her back to the ground. She crooked a tiny finger and Tinker Bell knelt so they were eye-to-eye. She hadn't expected the hug, but when slender arms wrapped around her neck, tears pricked her eyes.
"It's okay, Tink."
No. No it really wasn't okay. She had failed the little girl, had left her to be beaten and darkened by her monstrous mother and her evil compatriot, the Dark One. Yet, the girl was still so sweet and full of innocence and love that she was trying to comfort her. Tinker Bell hugged her close, and wished she could keep her exactly like this. Small, sweet and happy.
"Please," she said, looking up at the Dark One, astounded and thankful that she had her voice back. "Don't take her back there. She's just a little girl."
"She's a little girl with a very big destiny," he stated, no room in his tone for negotiation.
Tinker Bell wanted to run right then, just tuck Regina in her arms and run.
"You think you could protect her?" the Not-Henry chuckled in a slimy and chilling manner. "You're not even a fairy anymore. You're weak."
"I'm strong enough to keep her safe."
He laughed again. "Hardly." He smile widened, "Regina, are you ready to go home?"
Regina turned in her arms, "Do I have to?"
He nodded, "I miss my Little Girl and want her back home," he said, holding out a hand for her to take. Tink blinked back tears. As far as Regina knew, this "man" was her loving and doting father that read her bedtime stories and hugged her goodnight every night of her life.
Something caused Regina to hesitate, though, and her small fingers rose to unlatch the gold horse pin that held her cloak in place. "Hewe," she said, removing the cloak off her own shoulders and draping it over Tinker Bell. Though it dragged the ground when Regina wore it, the cloak barely reached the older woman's waist. "So you can 'member me," the little girl crooned.
Tinker Bell bit the inside of her cheek to keep the tears from spilling down her cheeks. "I'll never forget you, Regina," the fairy said as she leaned forward and pressed a kiss to the small child's forehead. "Never-never."
She watched the tiny brunette jog back into her Not-Father's open arms. He picked her up, as if he had done it a million times before, and started to walk away. Regina smiled at her over his shoulder, "Bye-bye, Tink."
Tinker Bell watched them disappear into the forest, knowing she had failed Regina again. That pain was worse than losing her wings. She wiped at her tears furiously.
"Tears" She berated herself, "haven't ever helped anyone, Tinker Bell," she chastised herself. Still they fell.
The Dark One had been right, she was weak. She couldn't protect herself, Regina or any of the other children who found themselves trapped on the Hell that Neverland had become under Pan's twisted reign. She stood up and fastened the short green cloak Regina had given her around her shoulders. She did not have wings or magic but that didn't mean she couldn't be a fairy godmother. She had to learn a new way to live. Running, hiding and crying—those days were over. She would not fail another child. Damn Reul Ghorm and the Dark One both to the deepest and hottest Hell. Nothing short of death would stop her from being the protector she was born to be.
It was a day's hike to Pirate's Cove and she doubted herself more than once, but Tinker Bell knew there was only one way she was going to learn the skills she would need.
She found the man she sought on the crudely built dock that lead to the only ship in Neverland. The Pirate sat on a rickety wooden stool, a bottle of rum in his good hand and a piece of faded and wrinkled parchment on his knee. He stared out towards the open sea while his crew of brigands and ne'er-do-wells repaired damage on the large ship they called home.
"And who are you supposed to be, Love?" He had an odd accent, a week's worth of black scruff and a dull gleam in his eyes. She stepped closer and pushed the hood back to reveal her face. She could see the lines and shadows around his eyes. He, much like her, had demons and past failures weighing on his soul.
"My name is Tinker Bell."
He scoffed, "Sounds like a made-up name from a child's story."
"So does Captain Hook."
He chuckled darkly, "You're the one been knicking rations from our camp."
She shrugged, "Stealing from thieves seems like a small sin."
He stood without a wobble, not as drunk as she had originally assumed, and tucked the parchment into his breast pocket. Not before she caught sight of a beautiful female face, however. She knew, without asking, that this woman was someone he had loved and lost. "Honor amongst thieves, Love." He raised his gleaming hook to her cheek and traced the line of her jaw, "So tell me why I shouldn't sell your pretty gold scalp to the savages on the Western Peninsula, hmm?"
She swallowed a mouthful of bile and forced her fear down where it couldn't turn her away from her quest. "Because we have an enemy in common."
He chuckled and dug the tip of his hook into her cheek. She refused to flinch away. "Pan is everyone's enemy, Tinkerbabe."
"Bell, Tinker Bell. I wasn't referring to Pan, though. I was referring to the Dark One."
His hook dropped away from her cheek. "The Crocodile?"
She nodded, "He took someone from me."
His eyes were alert now, and full of fire. "He's good at that, he is. He takes, destroys and then cackles about it. He feeds off the misery of others. He is evil incarnate and one day I will flay him and wear his gold pelt as a trophy."
Though his vehemence made her uncomfortable, she found that she couldn't disagree. If anyone deserved to die, it was the Dark One. "Teach me."
He blinked, obviously confused by her words, "What?"
She squared her shoulders, tossed the tangled riot of blonde curls over her shoulder and pulled herself to her full height, "Teach me how to be like you."
He cocked a coal black brow, "A pirate?"
She shook her head, she had no desire to sail or plunder. "Ruthless." She raised her chin, "To shed blood and take what I want without blinking an eye."
He seemed hesitant, so she crossed her arms over her chest and added, "Could another sword really hurt when you're fighting the Lost Ones?" The Lost Ones were the deadliest, most ruthless, most loyal warriors Pan possessed in his army of lads.
Hook rubbed his chin and looked her up and down with admiration and lust in his eyes, "I suppose not."
He held out his flesh and blood hand and she grasped it. "Welcome to the crew, Tinker Bell."
"Just call me Tink."
And so, it began.
To Be Continued in Part II
