"Go fix it... it's all I got."
Why do I hate it so much that she likes Ben? I shouldn't be jealous. I was married to Andi, had kids with Andi and spent months trying to get Andi to marry me again.
In the time I've known CJ she's been with plenty of guys. Hell, I was one of them all those years ago. But we moved on and she had other boyfriends and I got married and she's my best friend in the world. We started sleeping together again but of course nothing happened because it's us and we can never make anything rational out of the feelings we've always danced around.
Yet I hate it when she likes other guys. It's selfish of me but none of these guys are ever good enough for her. Apart from Simon, he was good. I liked him and I'm glad he could protect her; I hated that he died but I think I hated it even more that it tore CJ apart. She fixed herself back up, like she usually does, but she shut me out that time and it's probably unhealthy how much I resent that when I know it's what was best for her.
That's beside my point. I just completely waved off the hurt in her eyes and hitch in her voice because I can't face her liking guys. Especially when it's her college boyfriend I didn't know she lived with. I shouldn't be jealous but I'll never have the courage to tell her that I feel anything else.
