The last thing Sam was able to remember was that he was there in that abandoned church with Dean. Then Dean asked him to let go; so he tried to let go but, that caused great pain to occupy his body and then it felt like black curtains were dropped over his eyes and he was not able to feel anything...
The next thing he felt was his wish to give up, to find comfort by dying or by anything else.
He felt like his soul wasn't able to take any of this anymore and his body felt worse. He was tired of this kind of pain; he really believed that he screwed up every single thing he tried. He believed that he caused Dean and the world so much damage but, he was able to fix the world and the world was able to fix itself after that. Then there was Dean, he knew that Dean was still not able to get over a lot of things that he did to him, that endless times he let him down. Then, he thought to himself that he got punished enough for what he did … he lost the girl he loved when he didn't look for Dean. If he had looked for him, he wouldn't have met her and then he lost his soul and Cas broke the wall in his head after that and suffered **Hell** over and over again .
He just needed to give up but, then something happened, he felt like there was someone building walls to protect his soul. He felt that someone had finally come to grab his soul , his soul that was drowning in pain and guilt, out of the thing that was eating him up, **purifying** him from the bad and the demon blood inside him!
What was powerful enough to save him from all of this so easily? That was the last thing Sam asked himself before opening his eyes...
# The Waking Up
Sam opened his eyes with a great gasp to let enough air inside his lungs. He felt like he was under water for a long time and finally someone helped him to get out. His body shook like it had just came back from the dead,(and it was not actually wrong as he was almost dead!)
" Sam ! Sammy ! " it was Dean's voice . He searched with his eyes to find him, he was still fighting to breathe and to have a stable vision of the room. His heart was beating like it was going to explode and he felt like sharp knives were cutting into his lungs. His chest rose higher and sank down, quickly as he tried to have enough air to breathe.
"Hey body ! You look at me .. ah everything is going to be fine , I got you little brother and you are just fine " Sam meditated on Dean's face , that was only thing helping him to calm down and to recognize what was going on.
Dean was crying and he looked miserable. He felt miserable but Dean seemed to be worse than him.
Dean looked like he didn't sleep for at least three days or maybe even more and the look in his eyes said more. The look said all about the great fear inside Dean; that he was trying to reach Sam for so long and he was not able to .. .that he can't believe that they finally got through like they always do.
" Sammy ? Can you talk to me?" Dean said putting his both hands on Sam's face.
Sam's breathing started to get back to normal and he was coming back to reality slowly " Yeah! I think I can. I think I am fine ..Can you just give me a cup of water ? Please ? "
"Yeah! Sure." Dean said after giving Sam a long hug - that Sam needed so much - and he gave him a small squeeze on his shoulder then he quickly got him the cup of water he asked for.
"What happened " Sam asked still trying to catch his breath
Dean stayed silent for a while then he looked at the person who was resting his back against the window of the room.
He was a tall man with short dark hair from the back and little long from the front as some of it was covering one of his silver eyes. He crossed his arms against his chest and his eyes were closed. He was wearing a black leather jacket over a black t-shirt with black jeans . He looked like a hero from the Japanese manga, a rock star or maybe a gang member.
When Sam looked at him he tried to remember what had happened; then, he did.
"Dean , No ! For the god sake! What did you did this time? What kind of deals did you make to save me again? Is this a demon or A . . . reaper? Is he here waiting for you to say goodbye before he takes you. . ." Sam stopped for a while putting his face in his hands trying to stop himself from crying.
" Sam .." Dean tried to explain and to help his brother to calm down.
"No , Dean ! Let him take me instead, ok ? I was ready anyway. I was …" Sam couldn't continue. He felt like he wasn't fully recovered yet, his soul was still too tired to take this stress any further and his body was not much better. He started crying.
Dean looked at the guy standing there with a begging look, tears in his eyes. He really wanted him to help them, to save Sam and to calm him down.
The guy felt Dean's gaze so he opened his eyes slowly then he started to untie his arms. The thing that seemed to be an accessory- which it was not by the way - made a familiar noise to Sam's soul.
He was wearing a red ring made of jade which was attached to a armlet. The armlet was made of silver that was mixed with blood, so it's color was unique, with a couple of thin silver chains
He walked towards them and put a hand on Sam's shoulder. What amazed Sam was that he felt comfort immediately and all that tension in his body faded with the wind .
The man sat down beside Sam. Dean with still there looking at him hoping that he could really help.
The guy said "Ae Fe ! Le Haf ! La Melo Oe Shea " he said in his own language but, Sam felt like he was able to understand and just before he was trying to think about what that guy said he found him saying that in Lati " Aperi oculos tuos. Nolite timere. Ego daemonium non est angelus aut "
Dean was just staying silent, watching nervously, trying to understand what that guy was saying to Sam .
Sam almost understood him.
The guy said it again in English " Open your eyes . Don't be afraid . I am not an angel or a demon. " Sam opened his eyes . The guy's voice helped him to feel warm and safe. His voice seemed to be so deep and manly and that soft tone he used to talk to him helped him to feel like the world had- suddenly - became so peaceful.
Was that how Dean felt when Cas got him out from hell? Sam asked himself.
When Sam first open his eyes he couldn't help but look at that thing the guy was wearing . That familiar noise, he just felt that noise was a sign they were connected, like it was describing what they both were feeling .
" What are you ?Who are you ? " Sam asked . He had stopped crying by then. Emotionally he wasn't that stable yet but, he was getting back to normal. He just took a deep breath, trying to hide that he felt like a lost child, who wanted to cry for the next thousand years and to just run away from this cruel world. He felt like he was able to trust the guy but, even with that he didn't want him to see his weaknesses. Yet, there was something in his heart that was telling him that he had already known about it all and that this guy was -maybe- the one who saved him .
The man smiled at him kindly. Sam was able to see his white skin - which was shining like diamonds. He was so close, he looked so beautiful, and there is nothing in the world looked like that ! Not even in heaven !
" My name is Alan . Your brother called and I just came to help and about **What** **am** **I **! It is kind of long a story . Near Onea Dea.." he started talking in his language again , he knew that Sam's soul was able to understand him with the deep connection between them , but he didn't want to exhaust his soul more than it already was so he started talking in English again " I mean me and Dean will explain that to you later . The most important thing that you need to know now is that there are no deals , there is no danger and no one is going to lose anything "
Dean was searching Sam's face all that time just to know how he was feeling and what he was thinking about and when he felt like that Sam was ok with that , a sigh of relief - that he didn't recognize he was holding back - came out of him and the tension in his body started to fade away
A/N : Just wanted to say great thanks to my best friend celeticprincessx3 for being my beta for this story and for giving me all support all I needed . For being my best friend thank you so much ❤️
