AN: OK so this is my first Team Fortress 2 fanfic. In this fanfic I will also use scenes from films and recreate them but with the tf2 characters. Why? Because I cannot come up with my own humorous ideas :D
Disclaimer: I do not own of the TF2 characters for they belong to VALVe. Also in this first chapter I'm kinda using the opening to The Heat which I do not own neither. It belongs to Katie Dippold.
So on with the story.
Chapter 1
Pierre exited the van with his colleagues and took no time to look at the house they were about to enter. The men retreated to the back of the house and hid beside the shed. The men crouched and watched the back door for any signs of movement.
Pierre stood at the front and made silent hand gestures to his team. One of the men looked at him with a quizzical expression. Pierre sighed and tried to make his hand gesture clearer by nodding his head to the door and holding up four fingers.
"Can't you just speak?" The man questioned irritated, "I doubt they'll hear us."
Pierre rolled his eyes and sighed. He whispered loudly, "I was saying to wait for four minutes before infiltrating the place. Are you all incompetent idiots."
The man sighed and moved towards the door. Pierre sighed at his actions.
"FREEZE, FBI!" One of the men shouted as they broke the door down and retreated to the living room with their guns raised. Two men sat on a sofa with Xbox remotes in their hands. Another man with a gun ran into the house with a search dog.
"See, Montgomery, I told you there would be nothing here," Pierre's colleague sighed whilst lowering his weapon.
Pierre sighed and wore a haughty smile. He turned to the men on the couch, "Gentlemen," they took note of his French accent, "sorry to pop in unannounced but we know what you have been hiding here."
Pierre looked at the table. There sat a plate with greasy BBQ ribs, "I love the idea of distracting the dog, here, with this meal."
He bent over and reached to the underside of the table. When he pulled his hand away, he was holding a back of weed.
"Is this yours? I mean, who else does it belong to," Pierre smiled. The two men rolled their eyes and sighed.
"OK, Montgomery, once again you're right. Can we just take their asses in?" The colleague sighed.
Pierre stood up and walked towards the fire place. He leant against it with one arm propped up on its wooden surface. He turned back to face the two men.
"You know they loved these houses during the Prohibition Era," he started, "People liked to store their alcohol in a secret place. People loved to drink it even though they weren't supposed to. And these houses had all these little nooks and crannies where they could hide it…like this one."
Pierre pressed his thumb against a piece of the fire place. Behind his head two doors pulled apart revealing inside a cabinit full of guns. The two men sighed with frustration.
"Is there something behind me?" He smiled challengingly, "thought so."
Pierre began to strut towards the door with an arrogant smile on his face.
His colleague looked at the search dog and gritted his teeth, "Nice work, dick."
Pierre left the house with a confident smile on his face and made his way towards a car. He got into the passenger seat.
"Driver, make haste," he commanded. He then looked to his left to see no one in the drivers seat. He sighed frustratedly.
One of the men with the guns looked at arrogant man in the car.
"Hard to believe he's single," he said sarcastically. Another man laughed at the comment.
AN: Short and sweet but meh hope you guys like it so far. And before you ask, yes, Pierre is the Spy.
R & R
