A Red Rose
He has forgotten everything. Everything, because of two kisses. One, to freeze his heart. Another, to forget everything that might melt his heart. And, she said a third would kill him. He doesn't want the third, doesn't want to die. Maybe, if he did, he would remember everything. But he doesn't want to die, so he forgets everything. Or almost everything. There are two things he does remember. A red rose, and her smile. Who she is, he doesn't know anymore. He cannot remember. She must've been important to him, because his heart warms when he thinks of that smile. It reminds him of sunshine. A lot brighter than this winter sun, though. Sometimes it's too bright, too beautiful, and he wants to shut his eyes and cry. But he can't, so he pushes it away into a dark corner of his mind, and waits to stumble upon it again. He thinks, maybe the rose has something to do with her, too. It does, he is sure. It is too bright, too beautiful and red, to not belong to her. He wonders if anything else belongs to her, but he can't remember, so he goes back to the puzzle of ice. It is cold and sharp, and it does not belong to the smiling face. It belongs to the woman who is the Queen of Snow, and she is so very beautiful, and very perfect. But she is cold and he cannot touch her, because she will melt if he does.
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His fingers are blue, and, he thinks, they must be cold, but he can't feel them, because he can't feel anything anymore. The Ice and Snow have claimed their own. Cold, and unfeeling, nothing but sharp edges and bitter thoughts that are half forgotten anyway. He looks down at the ice shard in his hand, and he tries to fit it into the other pieces, but it won't. None of them will. He sits back and looks at the puzzle his Queen has commanded him to solve. But it doesn't fit. Nothing does.
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He never sleeps, but sometimes he dreams. He dreams of smiles and a red rose, and half-forgotten voices. He also dreams that he is holding something. He opens his hands, and it looks like a rose, but it's really a heart.
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He looks, for the millionth time, at a piece of ice. Where is it supposed to go? Where does it fit? His Queen comes to visit him. She talks to him, but he doesn't listen. She pats him on the shoulder indulgently and leaves him on the field of ice. She doesn't come again for a while. He doesn't mind, he's too busy thinking about shards of ice, of smiles and a red rose.
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He hears footsteps. He thinks it is his Queen. He doesn't look up. Can't she see he's busy? "Kay?" That is not his Queen's voice. No…But it sounds familiar. He looks up. "Kay? It's me, Gerda!" He blinks. Who? He looks back down. "Kay? Kay, it's me…" It's me! Can't you see? "Who?" Silence. Silence and tears. Why is she crying? He doesn't know her. He's busy right now, he has something to do! But what is it? He finds he can't remember anymore. "Kay…" And then her arms wrap around him, and she is still crying, and he is jolted by something sharp and sweet.
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It is a warm, bright summer day and he is running. He is running with Gerda, his best friend. The sky is soft and periwinkle in color. The sun beats down hard on their backs, and makes them itch and sweat in the heat. Gerda twirls out of his reach. "Look, Kay! Look, the roses are blooming!" Her smile is bright and beautiful, and it makes his heart tug. It is like the smile of a baby, you have to smile back. So he does. She bends down, plucking up as many roses as she can carry, filling her nose with the scent. They have a sharp, tangy sweetness about them that is as much part of the mountains as are the sun, wind, grass, mud and rain. It is the sort of smell that fills your heart as well as your nose, she says. He thinks her smile is the same.
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"Gerda?" he whispers, because he is not sure, and she is very tall and beautiful now. "Oh, yes, Kay! Yes, it is me! It is me, Gerda!" She smiles, and he knows it is her, at last, the girl with a smile brighter than sunlight, a heart red as a rose. "Gerda." He repeats, because he doesn't know what to say, what to do. It has been ever so long. "Oh, Kay, they said you were dead, Kay, but I didn't believe them! I didn't believe them, and I came searching, and you've been gone so long, and I missed you and oh! You must be ever so cold." He smiles because Gerda always talked too much, and she smiles back, because she is happy to find her friend, and her heart has now been filled. "Come, Kay, let's go home." He stands and lets her lead him across the field, because he has finally found the last thing that belongs to Gerda: His heart.
~Fin
