Chapter 29: The Thin White Line

Opening Credits

It seems today that all ya see

Is violence in movies and sex on TV

But where are those good, old-fashioned values

On which we used to rely

Lucky there's a Family Guy!

Lucky there's a man who

Positively can do

All the things that make us

Laugh n' Cry

He's

a

Fam

-ily

Guy!

End

We join Brian tells his therapist that he is in a bit of an emotional rut,

"I'm in a rut, nothing thrills me anymore. I mean, I can't even think of a reason to egt off the bed in the morning." Brian said with a sigh.

"Really?" said brain's therapist

"You want to know how pathetic my life is. I-I've seen that behind the music with Leif Garrett 18 times with John and Tyler in the living room!"

Cutaway

A flashback shows Brian, John and Tyler watching an episode of the VH1 program Behind the Music with Leif Garrett. The show is known for documenting the post-success breakdowns of once-popular recording artists and Garrett's episode is one of the best-known.

"Hey, uh...hey, Leif. It's been a while" someone in a wheelchair said to Brian.
(TV Cutaway Zooms to Brian, John and Tyler talking)
"I'm so sorry about everything, man. I'm so..." Brian mimics Leif.
"Ready for a bombshell? You saved my life" Leif's friend asked while John continues to mimic.
"But... but I was driving. I..."
"I was on a road to destruction, man. The accident may have crippled me, but I'm alive, aren't I?" Tyler mimic this time
"Ca...Can we turn off the cameras, dude?" as Brian finish mimics at the end

Cutaway ends

"It's like I'm … I don't know, trapped in my own life." Brian explains his problem to his doctor.

Then the doctor ask john if he had any problems in his new life with the Griffins?

"Well, I have been having strange visons lately, like some about people that I know almost dying and peple that I don't remember? John explain his problems.

His doctor suggests that the two may be too inwardly focused and that perhaps doing some volunteer work may be a good idea. Brian and John takes him up on his advice, serving as a guide dog and helper for the blind and elderly.

Until the doctor tells them that they have 13 more minutes.

"Oh, do we? HMM." John question the situation as he and Brian went back to the couch to continued talking with the doctor.

"I, UH, I notice you got a new receptionist." John ask the doctor about his new receptionist.

"Nice little boy on her, huh?" Brian chuckles at the doctor's receptionist female body to join in the conversation.

"That's my daughter." The doctor explain to his patience's about her and things got outward.

"Well, we could probably call this an early, huh?" John asked as he and Brian left the room.

Meanwhile, we join Frank and Peter at Happy-Go-Lucky Toy Company eating lunch with a couple of fellow works at Cafeteria. As join in the Cafeteria to make an announcement.

"Attention, everyone. Due to several complaints on the two deaths related to worker fatigue, I have decided to throw a company picnic this Saturday." As finished his announcement.

"Hey, Derek, how you getting to the picnic? Frank ask Derek how he going to the picnic.

"I Don't Know. I don't have a ride." said Derek.

"Hey, john, you got a two-seater, don't you?" Peter ask his coworker john to help out Derek with a ride to the picnic.

"Hey, Derek, maybe you go with john, huh? Huh? Frank goats Derek to go with john to the picnic.

As Derek sigh as he get up his seat as he said, "For the last time, I'm not gay."

As he leave in a huff.

"Thanks anyway, you guys." John said to Frank and Peter as thanks them for trying for him to gets some booty.

"Hey, we'll get him. Peter said giving john some hope.

Meanwhile, we join Brian, John and Tyler working as a Seeing Eye dog as they guild the man into a movie theater,

"Here, right this way. Watch your step." Said john as they guide the man to the door of the theater. They sits beside his blind guy in a movie theater, as Brian narrates to the blind guy. "Okay, they're-they're in the woods...the camera keeps on moving...Uh, I think they're, they're looking for some witch or something, I-I don't know, I wasn't listening...nothing's happening, nothing's happening, something about a map, nothing's happening, it's over, a lot of people in the audience look pissed." As brain turn around to people piss including John and Tyler as they wanted to watch this movie.

Meanwhile, we attends the Happy-Go-Lucky Toy Company Picnic, with everybody and their families having fun. Now we join Chris and Persephone going to try the three legged race.

"Now remember, Chris, we have to work together so that out steps…" as Persephone trying to explain to Chris the rulers of this game before Chris started running out of sync with Persephone while laughing his ass off and Persephone screaming in terror.

As we zoom in to one of the contests at the picnic, which happens to be Peter Griffin's favorite is to catch the Greased-Up Deaf Guy.

"Oh, this is my favorite event, catch the Greased-up Deaf Guy." Peter said with excitement. As Frank Jr and Tyler were doing the worm trying to speed thing up.

Mr. Weed lifts the cage, as he said "Go!" As the Greased-up Deaf Guy is released from a cage screaming in a high pitched voice, "You're never gonna catch me! You're wasting' your time. As Frank Jr try's grabs him but slips of his baby grip. "Forget about it! Go do something' else!" Peter grabs him but slips of his grip. "See y'all next year.' As he ran off into the forest.

Meanwhile we join Brian and John at the shady farm nursing home as he is playing chess with a sick old lady,

"King me." John said finishing the game as the old lady was sad not wanting to play this game.

"I don't want to play anymore. The pain. I can't live like this, guys. As the old lady complains to John and Brain.

"I need you to pull the plug." The old lady said as she point to the plug so she can finally rest.

Well, we…we... we can't! We…" Brain said as he and john trying to get out of this situation.

"Be my angle and set me free. Please?" Said the old lady weakly tone voice.

While Brian and john had a sad look as they turn towards to the plug. They walk to the plug and they were about to pull it until they old lady freaky out.

"Oh my god, you two were really going to do it!" Said the crazy old lady.

"We…but...You-You…" said Brain and john try to tell they old lady that it was her idea.

"NURSE! THIS DOG AND BOY ARE TRYING TO KILL ME! NURSE! "The old lady scream for help because she was so crazy.

You are twisted, lady. You hear me? Said Brian as he leave the room.

You are screwed up in the head. Said john giving the old lady the middle finger as he leave following after Brian.

Now we join Mr. Weed as he announced his final contest,

"The winner of our final contest will receive a very special prize, a week's paid vacation." Said Mr. Weed as the cored cheering for the prize. As we join the Mallque Griffin family Hear what the prize was.

"Did you hear that?" said peter with excitement as well as Frank and his son Frank Jr jumping for cheer.

Oh, God, Please let it be fighting. Be let it be a fight contest. Said Frank and Frank Jr as they pray the contest be something that they are good at.

These are tranquilizer darts. I have enough here to take down Robert Downey Jr. said Mr. Weed as he laughing at his own joke while the crowed sympathetically moans at the horrible joke.

"Yes, Well… The Last one left standing wins. Let the game begin!" Said Mr. Weed

As every person who works at the Happy-Go-Lucky Toy Company ran towards the forest including Frank and Peter as Mr. Weed fires his tranquilizer gun to thin out the numbers of works.

As the crowed cheer for the game and the mallque griffin family cheers for Frank and peter to the game. As we zoom towards Frank Jr and Stewie Looking at their fathers run towards the forest,

"Look at—he runs like a Welshman." said Frank Jr trying to get his mother Meg attention.

"Doesn't he? Doesn't he run like a Welshman" said Stewie as he too trying to get attention of his mother Lois. As both mother look proud of the cheer smiles of their son of the excitement of this game.

Now we join Brian and John as the walk back in their house as Joe said hello,

"Hey, there, John and Brain." Said Joe as he waves to his friends.

"Hi, Joe." Brian reply as he sniffing around as John looked at Brain with awe.

Hey, bonnie making Chicken Marsala tonight? Brain asked Joe if he having what Brian just said.

As Joe replied, "No. she made that three nights ago."

"Wow, that's some nose you've got." John replied with praised at Brian's talent.

"Yeah, one time it almost got me a spokesman deal." Brain said

Cutaway

We see Brian sitting next to Toucan Sam in a casting site.

"Follow your nose. Follow your nose. Follow your nose." Toucan Sam reads the script with different voices as Brian snickers.

"Oh, I'm sorry. No, that was good. I-I just didn't think you were gonna go so cartoony with it" Brian apologized.

"Well how-how would you read it?" Toucan Sam asked.

"Oh I don't know. I was thinking of doing it, you know, good like an actor, but you know, your way is good too." Brian explained as he and Toucan Sam continued reading.

Cutaway ends

Joe recognizes the strength of Brian's nose and the super strength of john after hear about from Peter and Frank while drink at the clam. So He offers John and Brain a job as Police man and a police dog to look for drugs.

"Really?" John and Brain said as Brain's tail wag in excitement.

Now we're at the forest with Frank, Peter and one of the follow co-workers running from Mr. Weed's tranquilizer gun.

"I guess it's just down to the three of Frank and Peter." Said the co-worker while panting for air. While Frank and Peter catch up to him as we zoom towards their backs filled up with darts as they were still going trying to fight the tranquilizer poison in their body systems.

"Only one of us is going to win that paid vacation." Said the co-worker still panting.

"But I-I don't want to feed grandma bacon while she's in the bathtub." Said peter while he was fucked up in his head.

"What do you mean that I got Lois pregnant, I wouldn't cheat on Meg like that?" Frank said as he was trying to stand while he was also fucked up in the head.

"Peter, Frank are you two okay? Said the co-worker said as he was worried about his follow co-workers as they heard a motor cross bike coming in the clearing. It was Mr. Weed coming at them with his tranquilizer gun aiming at them. As they ran away, peter fainted and the co-worker jump into the bushes, but Frank got shot in the butt by tranquilizer dart. As the co- worker walk towards frank trying help him since he still standing.

"Mr. Weed, I think Frank and peter needs a Doc-ooh!" the co-worker tried to finish speaking but was darted by Mr. Weed, that makes Frank wins Mr. Weed's challenge, walking away with the prize of a week's paid vacation.

"Here, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty." Said Frank as he to faints due to all the tranquilizer darts in his body.

Meanwhile at the airport, we join Brian on his first day on duty checking people for drugs.

"No drugs…she good…he's clean." Said Brian as he finished sniffing out the people leaving their plane.

"Well, looks like that's it, except for the flight crew." Said Joe as Quagmire join in to talk to his friends.

"Hey, Hey, Brain and John. What's with the Johnny Law Routine?" asked Quagmire since he doesn't know what going on.

"Say hello to Our Newest Narcs. They are both naturals" Said Joe introducing quagmire to quahog's newest cops.

"Oh, yeah? How-How Good are you two? Quagmire question them on how good are they at their new jobs.

Brian sniffing Quagmire's crotch as he said, "You're back from Manila, you had Lumpia for dinner, then you had sex with two Filipino women...", then hesniffs again, "...and a man." As Brian finish searching quagmire.

"Heh...you mean THREE Filipino women...Noooooooo!" Quagmire said as he looks art Brian and john as they look that they aren't wrong. After Brian makes Quagmire realize he has made love to a man, he screams and runs away, similar to the film Ace Ventura: Pet Detective scene in which Ace realizes Lt Einhorn is actually Ray Finkel, whom Ace had kissed.

Then Brian sniffing around caught a scent.

"Wait a second. Got something!" said Brian as he was running around the airport trying to find the scent till he finds a guy with a breves case with the scent he was looking for.

As he runs towards the guy trying to catch him.

"This could be the real, boys. Let's do it!" Joe said as he and the other cops roll out.

Brian and john ran trying to catch the perp, until they see a lodged caring. They speed up to Joe and close line the prep.

"Don't move, dirtbag," said Joe as he points his gun at the perp.

As Brian sniffs the bag, Brian successfully tracks down a suitcase full of cocaine.

"It's coke! Yes! All right! We got him this is great! Ah, this the rush I been looking for." Said Brian with excitement, but inadvertently takes a snort of it himself.

"Good work, Brian." Joe and john said as they congratulate him for a job well done.

"Uh, you still got a little, uh…" said John as he point out Brian to the coke that was on his nose.

As Brian check his nose, "oh! Oh, thanks." He wipe the coke out of his nose, but inadvertently takes a snort of it himself. Then smile for a second before returning to normal.

Now we join the Mallque Griffin family at the kitchen eating breakfast as Lois began asking frank on what they are going to do for their payed vacation.

"So, Frank, where should we go for your week off?" asked Lois

"Well, I-I-I was thinking we could all go to purgatory like we did last year?" Frank reply to everyone in the kitchen.

Cutaway

The whole Mallque Griffin family are at Purgatory where they are floating, as the screen is completely white.

"This isn't bad. It's not that good. But it's not that bad" Lois said.

"It's so-so" Brian added.

"Eh, more or less" Peter commented.

"This sucks" John complained.

"I think I'm gonna hurl" Frank Jr panicked.

"What the f***?" Persephone cursed as she accidentally sees Frank pee in the void of purgatory.

"What?" Frank as he finishes peeing

Cutaway ends

As Brian enter the kitchen to get some breakfast, peter asked him a question.

"Hey, Hey, Brian—if cops are pigs does that make you a snausage?" peter said with laughing with Frank Jr reply, "ha, ha, ha, Good one, Goode one, now if you excuse me, I need to toot." compliment this joke in his newly refined voice. Then Frank Jr proceeds to toot, but this time plays a jazzy song on a trumpet.

"Clever, peter. Did you stay up all night writing that?" Brain reply to the joke peter made.

"No, He got bed around 2:00, 2:30." Frank Jr reply as he continues eating his oatmeal.

As Brian sits at the table, he explains about his day in the force and busting the perp.

"You know what Joe said the street value of that cocaine would've been?" brain asking anybody at the kitchen table.

Then Lois reply, "uh, let's see—4A1/2 kilos uncut Nicaraguan. Uh, $1.7 mill? That area?"

Everyone at the table was shock, as to how Lois knew all of that stuff about coke.

"Uh, yeah. That's… that's… that's right." Brian said to that response.

"Yeah uh. Mom what the hell do you know this stuff and we will talk about this after I get some fresh air." Said frank as he walk away out the door to get some fresh air as Persephone and Meg ran in with a newspaper.

"You guys! Brian's famous!" Persephone said as she and Meg show the newspaper with the title "Dog Hero!" with brain dress in his uniform waving at the people as his family congratulate him for his success.

"You're a hero!" Lois replied.

"Good job Brian!" Tyler said.

"Way to go, pal/Brian." Peter and Frank Jr said aloud.

"Oh, come on. Stop it, You Guys. It nothing, really" Brian said wave his hand to stop embarrassing him. As he sniffing something and he reply with, "oh, Lois, your toast is ready." As the toast rise from the toaster surprising Lois.

"Wow." Lois said as everyone in the kitchen clap in cheer with "oh, my! Well!"

Uh, Meg's using a new conditioner." Brain said as his point to Meg's new smell.

"He's right!" Frank replied as he walk back in to the kitchen to Brian response since Meg is his wife.

"How do you like that?" Frank Jr said to that response as the family is cheering more of Brian's senses of smell.

"That's amazing." Tyler said, as he is shock and surprised.

"And it's time to change Frank Jr and Stewie." Brian said they look to Stewie and Frank Jr for that response.

Well, that is preposterous. We haven't—there it is." Frank Jr trying to prover that Brian is lying but he just poop at that moment.

Everyone cheered, "Hooray! All right.

Now we join Brian and Joe in a police car going around town trying to find more Criminals with cocaine until suddenly Brian sniffed something bad,

"Stop the car!" said Brian as the stop across some gangsters. As Brian point to the location is a regular church.

As a door bust up with Joe and Brian saying, "Everybody freeze! This is a bust!" as it reveals a nun teaching some kids about Jesus Christ.

"Uh, Brain, this is a Sunday school class." Joe said as he look around then he looks embarrassed for this situation.

"The hell it is." Brian said as he and john walk toward the chalk border clean the chalk erasers.

"Pure Bogota Bullion. This is a Drug ring." John explain this situation and the location.

"But these are just kids." Joe said as he look at the suspects.

"Oh yeah? What's your name?" Brain asked the kid with a blue cap hat.

"Ricky." The boy said in a deep voice revealing who he really is.

"They're not kids, they're midgets. John said as he moves towards the "Cool to love Jesus" poster and pulling it away as he saying, "Filthy Drug-Peddling Midgets." As it reveals midgets cocaine ring.

"Oh, my god! Look out, Brian" Joe said in shock as a black midget run toward Brian, but the joe throws a night stick to knock the midget out as the rest of the midget surround them. Brian, John and Joe prepare to fight for justice, Joe star punching left and right beating on four midgets and defeating his fifth midget from the back. Then john knocks tow midgets out by bumping heads. Brian then beats three midget with his nightstick as everyone plied up the midget.

Then we cut scene toward the quahog police station, as the midgets get their mugger shots by jumping since they are very small for mugger Pictures.

As we move the scene toward Brian getting praises from his follow cops

"Nice work, rookie!" Joe said.

"You're a credit to the force." Said a random cop.

"Additional generic cop compliment, Brian." Said John for a job well done.

Ha! Thanks. But the real hero here is god for blessing with this nose and a few equally amazing appendages." Brain said as he razzing all the cops in a cheer. As Joe chuckles for the good fun as he reply, "Well, I better take this down to evidence."

"Oh, uh, hey, I'll-I'll do that. Uh, I will catch up with you guys at the pub. As brain volunteer, to put coke bag into evidence as he leave. However, he walk away towards the men's room with the cocaine.

Then we cutaway towards the Mallque Griffin House In the dinner room as they finally made choice on their vacation.

"So it's settled. We're taking a cruise to the Bahamas." Meg cheered for their choice of vacation spots.

"Aw, this is gonna be great cruises are the best." Said John

"And look, it says we have our choice of cabins—port or starboard. Ah! Listen to me. I sound like an old salt." Said Lois as she was laughing at her own joke.

Then Stewie was laughing for irony sake to mock Lois joke. The he calms down as he replies,

"Yes though, I must say I've always dreamed of life at sea."

Cutaway

Stewie is seen at a boat in a sailor uniform as Frank Jr and Navy men stand next to him as he sings in the middle.

Stewie
I'm the greatest captain of the Queen's navy
Frank Jr and Sailors
And your record will stand as proof
Stewie
Be it galley or a freighter, I'm an expert navigator
Frank Jr and Sailors
And you're also a world-class poof
Stewie
My manner, quite effete, is mistaken on the street
For a sailor who can pirouette on cue
Well, despite your point of view, I can thrill a girl or two...
But I'd rather get it on with you
Frank Jr and Sailors
Ha ha ha

Stewie, Frank Jr and the sailors dance around as the musical number ends.

Cutaway ends

As stewie cutaway was over, the front door close as Brian came back from work tired,

"Sorry to be tardy to the party." Brian said as he sit next to Meg and Persephone.

"Wow, Brian! Have you lost weight? You gotta tell me your secret!" Persephone asked.

"Here's a hint: Put down the fork! FACE!" Brian yelled at her while pushes his hand out to her face until John bitch-slap Brian, back to his seat.

"So, how was your day?" Lois ask Brian as he goes nuts.

"My day? Un-Freakin'-believable. First-first we nailed this bastard who had the gall to hide his stuff in his daughter's doll. Her doll, for God's sake! Oh, where's the line anymore? Well, I got news for you: It's...it's...it's...it's...it's not even on the radar screen! The days of decency and virtue are gone, honey. Bam! Freakin' evaporated like a dingy, stinking' mud puddle. One-one day you...you...you see your reflection in it, and the next day i...it's a...it's a...it's a damn oil spot on your cracked driveway, staring back at you, mocking you, blah blah blah, knowing the perverted truths that rot in the pit of your soul... that's how my Freakin' day was." Brian explained his amazing coke day.

The family looks at Brian, stunned, for a long time. Finally, Peter breaks the silence.

"You know what I haven't had in a while? Big League Chew." Peter said

Now we go to Quahog elementary school as the bell ringing for a school assembly.

At the school assembly Brian is called "McGriffin, the Drug Dog," a reference to the anti-crime mascot McGruff the Crime Dog. Now Brian makes his speech,

"So, take it from me, McGriffin, The Drug Dog if you really want to get high, it's as easy as being yourself." As Brian, finish his speech, the entire student class clap for Brian message of drug safety.

"Well, kids, I'm going to pass things off now to… Gerald, the happy and abstinent police clown." Brian said as he look at his flash cards introducing to the next person for this event. As Gerald, the happy and abstinent police appears in a unicycle.

"Hey, kids, you know why I'm happy? Gerald said as he blow a long balloon as he continues speaking, 'Cause I'm free of "S… "T… DS." As he Folding the balloon into an S then to a T and then to a D. Now we zoom in the hallway with Brian going into the boy's room. As two boys are doing their business in the john while talking about Brian,

"That McGriffin guy was so cool." Said the boy in the left John.

"Totally. I'm never doing drugs now." Said the boy in the right john.

After seeing some cocaine on his nose as he shuddering at his reflection in the Boy's room mirror, Brian exclaims "Got Milk?" a reference to the ad campaign. "Got Milk?" as he Hysterical laughs and begins to trip out his fucking mind.

Now we go scene in to U.V. Ray's tanning salon with Peter, Frank, Frank Jr and Chris trying to get tans.

"Now, Chris, Frank Jr, before you go on a cruise you got to build up a base tan." Frank explain to Chris and Frank Jr about tanning.

"Hey Frank, I heard if you use tanning beds, you can get something called melanoma."Chris said with fear.

"Oh, Chris, that's just fancy-talk for "Sexified."Climb in." Peter said trying to make his son more comfortable on tanning his skin. Then peter puts Chris inside the tanning booth and begins the process of tanning. But in a flashing High-Pitched whine, chris was go form the tanning booth.

"Hey, what king of tanning booth is this?" Frank Jr asked the custodian.

"Can't you read? Those aren't tanning booths. That whole row is time machines.," the custodian explain as we zoom out to see on the left was the time machine section and on the right was tanning booths.

"Aw, crap, where the hell is he, dude?" Frank asked the custodian.

Then Chris reply inside the time machine, "hey Guys, I'm in the bible days and there's a whole stadium of people clapping for me. Oh, look, my very own lion."

As frank peter began to freak out they tried to pull Chris out but got the lion before shutting the time machine close while Frank said,

"Huh… Must've got the wrong head." As we zoom out to see Frank Jr and Rocky The Flying Squirrel shows up and says, "And now, here's something we hope you'll really like," a frequent segué in The Rocky and Bullwinkle Show.

Meanwhile at the airport, we join Brian and the crew on duty checking people for drugs.

Brian's addiction steadily grows worse, as he started smoking at work in the airport.

"Whoa, Brian, there's no smoking in the terminal." Joe apply to the rulers to Brian.

"Hey, Hey, there's worse things than nicotine, pal and I'm going to find them." Brian reply with surly remake trying to find more cocaine for his fix.

"Ah, patience, lad. It took dear St. Patrick more than a day to clear the emerald isle of snakes." Said office Horowitz with Irish accent. Which piss John and Brian wrong for some strange reasons.

"Oh, can the Irish crap will you Horowitz?" John said the reason being that his new family is Irish.

"Okay." Said office Horowitz with a normal voice.

He finally attacks a man at the airport trying to find "where's the stash. I'll do a fraking body search, I swear.", and is kicked off the police force when nothing is found. He got piss off as he reveals Horowitz impression of joe right in front of his while his being pull away home by john.

Now we join the Mallque Griffin home with the entire family in the living room as we zoom towards peter and Frank Jr reading a book. As Lois is look towards peter for what he is read.

"Oh the old man and the seas. I see you're getting in the mood for the cruise." Asked Lois on the book Peter reading to Frank Jr.

"Yeah. Stupid fisherman… sitting out there on a boat yammering to himself. He doesn't even know we're watching him." Frank Jr holds the book all menacing.

As the door opens, revealing Brain as He returns home that night with a hooker named Tina.

"Oh, Splendid! Fido McCoke-fiend is home."Stewie said about Brian behavior and new guest.

"Everybody, this is Tina." Brian introducing his hooker named Tina.

"What happened to you?" Meg asked Brian on his current behavior

"Hey, how about a little less questions and a little more shut the hell up!" Brian said to Meg.

"You know, just because you can't feel your teeth doesn't mean My mom can't feel your insults you poop head." Frank Jr remark on Brian insulting his mother.

"Hello, I'm Lois Griffin. Welcome To Our Home." Lois introducing herself to the hooker.

"So, what? She's, like, Your Mom or something?" Tina replied that with a weird question.

Then Brian hysterically laughs at that question including peter until Frank Jr gives Peter the stink eye to shut him up.

"Tina, can I get you a warm washcloth to wipe the dried blood from under your nose?" Lois continued being nice to Brian guest. As Brian continued to be an ass of himself as he move toward the TV to show Tina something.

"Here, baby, I'll show you the channel Lois doesn't know about." As Brian turns on the TV to show her and his family the channel, they do not know about.

"Brain, would you..? Chris, Tyler, look away. Meg and Persephone, take Stewie and Frank Jr upstairs." Lois said as she saves her kid from porn. As frank Jr and Stewie leave, they question the program.

"Wait, wait, The man seems to have suffered a rather serious snakebite." Stewie ask about the man and his snakebite.

"And, why are those two lady doing with that cup? They should be helping that man with the snakebite." Frank Jr said he and the group go up stair while trying not seeing the program.

"Brian, would you please ask your new fried to leave now." As Lois yanks the remote and then asked Brian to make the hooker leave now.

"Oh sorry, things getting a little too real for the step ford wife?" as Brian insults Lois to her face.

"And look at you four— the forgetful twins plus the three stooges. I leave more personality in tight could piles on the lawn."

"Oh do me. Do me next!" stewie trying to get a zinger out of brain

"Come on, baby girl, let's go to the park." Brian said before spending the rest of the night out as he closed the door behind them.

The next morning, the Mallque Griffin family hold an intervention with Brian's psychiatrist when Brian comes home, as the door open is to revealing Brian questioning what is going on?

"Hey, doc, what the hell are you doing here?" Brian ask his psychiatrist.

"Your family has something they would like to say to you." Said his psychiatrist.

"Brian, I know I don't speak up much and it's really hard for me to talk about my feelings, but..." Persephone said as the psychiatrist interrupted her

"Why don't we star with someone more inter resting? Peter?" The psychiatrist SAID

As peter clears his throat as he speaks, "Brain, ever since your addiction, you've been a jerk. I miss the good old days when you were my sidekick."

Cutaway

We see Peter dressed up as David Letterman in the setting of Late Show with David Letterman.

"So she hated my tie until I told her it was made out of 100 percent Buttafuoco fiber" Peter said.

The Audience laughter as Peter adjusts his head while looking at the camera, along with fixing his jacket and tie.

"Hey, Brian. How about a little tie music?" he suggested.

As Brian begins his son, Peter's tie, Peter's tie, that is because Peter's the guy.

"All right. That's it. A little tie music" Brian sang as he looks like Paul Shaffer.

Peter plays around with his tie.

"He-he, yeah" he added.

Cutaway Ends

"Look, you-you guys got it all wrong. I-I-I.." Brian Trying to make excuses.

However, then we zoom to the family looking concerned.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, everyone! Oh, god, I need help." Brian has an emotional breakdown while sobbing as Brian has a good cry after his intervention.

"I guess now we know what kind of dog he is. A "melancollie". No one laughs, "Oh wait. I should have said "chi waa-waa." No one laughs again. "I don't have to Fucking impress you!"Stewie said as he leave in a huff. As Frank Jr rolls his eye in response of stewie jokes.

Then we cut scene towards the griffin car as they eventually decide to send Brian to a rehab center by using their vacation time.

"Look, I'm not insensitive, Grandma but we just don't see why we got to cancel our cruise just 'cause Brain's a cokehead." Frank Jr reply in the middle front seat of the car next to Brian all piss off at his grandma being a control freak again.

"Yeah Mom, why are we suffering because of you having a Conscience for every problem in the family." Frank said reply in the back seat of the car being all piss off at Lois being a control freak again for the ten time in a row.

"We're not going on vacation while Brian's in rehab. We'll just have to wait till next year." Lois replied to everyone that they have to wait until next year's vacation.

"Oh, man." Peter, Frank and Frank Jr moan in disappointment.

"Look Junior, Peter, I'll make it up to both of you. I have a cousin who works at club med." Brian reply to Frank Jr and Peter, owning them a Faber.

Cutaway

We see Brian's cousin Jasper singing and dancing with women wearing swimsuits.

Jasper
Me mind on fire
Me soul on fire
Feeling hot hot hot

Cutaway Ends

As we zoom in the Providence rehab clinic in awe of the fancy amenities at Brian's rehab facility.

"Holy crap! Look at this place! This where god would come if he had to stop doing blow.' Frank Jr said in awe.

"They have tennis courts!" Meg and Persephone shout in glee.

"And a full Spa!" stewie reply also in glee of the place.

"Whoa! This place in crackle lacking dudes!" said Tyler.

Wow! No wonder people do drugs. Chris said shout of the amazing this place is.

"Good luck, Brian. I just know you're going to get clean." Meg said as she and lois give Brian their wish for him to get better.

"Heh—It shouldn't be too hard to get clean with all these mineral baths and Jacuzzis." Frank Jr said he and the family all-laughing. As stewie get piss off by it.

"Oh, I see, The Monkey child makes a pun and everyone wets themselves. I give you gold and I get squat. I'll be in the car." As stewie said as he leave to the car in huff.

As we zoom in the Providence rehab clinic at night as Brian and the rehab woman walk towards his room for a good productive first day.

"That was a very productive First day, Brian. Our goal here is to find your "X" Factor—the element in your life that made you turn to drugs in the first place." Said Rehab Woman.

"well, just having some time away to sort things out is going to do wonders. Thanks, doctor." Brian said as he thank his rehab doctor, then she leave for Brian reach room 42 for a good rest.

"what… what are you doing here?" Brian asked the people in the room.

"I'm on vacation and oh, if anyone asks about these guys following me here, they on smack." As the person is, reveal to be Peter, who decides to join Brian at the center because he could not go on vacation with John and Frank Jr trying to take Peter back so Brian can heal. Peter thinks the rehab center is a hotel, so he spends his time drinking beer.

As we zoom in the Providence rehab clinic at daytime at Brian's room with Peter acting goofy, even though Brian, John and Frank Jr reminds him that Brain is here in rehab for drugs.

"Peter, this… this is a detox clinic. You can't vacation here." John trying to explain to peter that this place is for Brian to get well from his drug addiction.

"Why Not? This place is way better than a cruise. You should have seen it. I whipped this speed freak's ass at horseshoes today." Peter bragging about his day in this clinic.

"Grandpa, this isn't a vacation for you or me. For god's sake Brian trying to get healthy, look we will stay here until we find a phone to call Grandma Lois to get us home okay so you have to behave yourself." Frank Jr said trying to make his grandfather to behave here while he and john try to call Lois to get them home.

"Yeah, Okay, Okay, all right." Peter said to his grandson response as he leave with Brian to help him heal.

"Hey, softball this afternoon. Bunch of us addicts are taking on the pregnant teenagers from across the lake." Peter trying to add John and Frank Jr to invent that is later happing today.

Now we zoom at a pool meditation session, with the rehab lady look at the session.

"okay, come on, everyone exercise is an important part of recovery. Just work with the resistance of the water. Ten more reps. Okay, and one, and tow, and three." Said the lifeguard is help patients by pool exercise in the pool. But Peter causes unrest among the surrounding patients by playfully removing a female patient's bikini top during a pool meditation session.

"Yeah I'm also addicted to boobies." Peter said as he hold a woman's bra as he goofy laughs in that response until he was drag under water by Frank Jr like Jaws killing people, it leave blood over the pool water.

Now we are at the Providence rehab clinic cafeteria, with peter, John and Frank Jr setting next to an addict.

"Trade you this for your cupcake." Peter said as held fake drugs to the addict for a trade for his food. As the addict look around to find anyone trying to stop this then he grabs the fake drugs and ran out. Leaving peter with the cupcake that he wanted to eat until John and Frank Jr slaps the cupcake out of peter hand as they fight for it. Before long, Peter's obnoxious behavior attracts the attention of the clinic's head doctor,

"What? It was just carpet fresh. I am on your side." Peter said to what he did.

"I'm been observing your behavior and I don't think you're an addict. I think you're an idiot." Said Rehab Woman as she knows peter is not an addict

"well, I don't pay you to think, hot lips. In fact, I don't pay you at all. Count it." Peter said as he Braggs again that he, John and Frank Jr are safe for another day until.

"I'll be keeping my eye on all of you. What's your name? Rehab Woman asked Frank Jr first. "Um... attempting to make up a name, he looks at some hot dogs on a plate,Frank... , looks at a woman saying George "George... Frank George..." sees his last name mean had worker in piece paper flouting in the room, "Mallque! Frank G Mallque. Aw, crap." As Frank Jr accidently confess his name.

Then we look on Brian jogging as peter come in a rascal as he is trying to convince Brian to cause mischief at the teen pregnancy center across from the rehab clinic.

"Hey, you want to go mess with the pregnant teens across the lake? Asked Peter.

"I-I Can't. Group therapy, 2:00." Brain responded to peter request.

"Oh, Man, I peeked in on one of those. It was more boring than when I was a security guard for George Harrison." Peter said as he flash back on that day.

Cutaway

We see Peter sitting on a desk watching TV dressed in a police uniform.

Peter
Charles in Charge of our days and our nights
Charles in charge of our wrongs and our rights and I sing I want Charles in Charge

"Hey! Hey! Quiet down, up there! You wacky Beatle!" Peter shouted as he turns around for a moment before resuming his TV watching.

Cutaway Ends

"Well, I-I… I have been making a lot of progress lately. I guess missing one session wouldn't be the end of the world." Brian said as he look at himself realize that he is mostly cure.

"There you go." Peter said as he egging Brian on the prank of the centuries.

As we zoom in on Peter and Brian paddling towards the teen pregnancy center across from the rehab clinic.

"Hey what do you think they put in the bug juice?" Peter ask Brian about the bug juices

"bugs." Brian answer peter with died bugs.

"No, they don't. Come-on." Peter trying to denied that response until,

"SHUT UP GRANDPA" Frank Jr said to end this conversation.

Now we are zooming in the teen pregnancy center across from the rehab clinic with Brian, Peter, John and Frank Jr. As they sneak inside by an open window, they put every fourteen pregnant teens in the hand-in warm-water joke as they sneaked out. Then the girls were screaming from the prank that caused fourteen premature births in pregnant teens after the hand-in warm-water joke backfires.

Now we are at the rehab woman room as she nags them for that horrible prank.

"I hope you're proud of yourselves—14 premature births." As the rehab woman nags them for the 14 premature births.

"Sorry, Doc, I don't usually let peter talk me into this kind of stuff." Brian trying to explain himself.

"Waiting a minute. Brain, you have a preexisting relationship with these degenerates?" the rehab woman asked brain now realizing that he has a connection to his friends.

"A degenerate, am I? Well you are a vestiggio! See? I can make up words too, sister!"Peter said to that response.

"well, I think we've found your "x" factor." the rehab woman said as she accuses Peter, John and Frank Jr of being Brian's "x-factor", the reason that he was a cocaine addict.

"What do you mean Peter, John and Frank Jr?" brain asked to why she is blaming them for his problems.

"Their behavior is clearly a negative influence on you and with your intelligence and sensitivity..." As the rehab women was trying to explain to Brian that Peter, John and Frank Jr. Are a bad influence to him and to his life, before Frank Jr interrupted her?

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, Hey, We all make mistakes in life including Brian, all right? This man is my grandfather, and he and my father took Brian into their home and treated him like family. In addition, John just came into our lives with Tyler and they both wanted to be a part of Brian's life as well. They both are his best friends." Frank Jr said as he defends his family.

"Yes, and look where he ended up.' She said redefining her response.

"You know what? I think my therapy here is complete. I came here to get clean and I did, so good bye." with a disgusted Brian looking at the manager for blaming them for all his troubles and declares that he overcame his addiction. As they leave peter said,

"Brian, it's moments like this that make me sad you're going to died 50 years before I do." Before Frank Jr response with, "yeah until I figure out to change dog years gene to human years. I have a lot of time since me, John and Tyler are immortal."

As we zoom back to the Mallque Griffin house as the family celebrates Brian's return with their entire friends and the police forces. Now we close up to Frank, Joe, bonnie and their follow police force friends listen to Lois's song about Brian.

Lois

He was all coke up

And we were chocked up.

But now

Our happy Brian's home

CHA-CHA-CHA!

As Lois Finish her song as everybody cheer including Joe,

"I am serious, Lois, You could be in show business." Joe telling Lois about her talent.

While Tyler is drunk and saying "CHA-CHA-CHA" repeatedly. As We Zoom in on Chris, Meg, Frank, John and Persephone as they talk to quagmire.

"Hey, Meg, you 18 yet?"Quagmire asked them, which made Frank and John piss for Quagmire asking them about that.

"No!" they reply as he talks to Chris.

"Hey, Chris, How are you?" quagmire asked.

"Well, I'm glad…" Chris responded until he interrupted with an, " all right." As quagmire leaves.

Now we cut in to the police force and Joe trying to apologies to Brian for this whole mess.

"Brian, I feel a little guilty. If it wasn't for me you wouldn't have been exposed to that junk." Joe said explain these weeks' events.

"Hey, Joe, if I've learned anything from my experience it's that we're all responsible for our own destiny." As a cab just enter the neighborhood street as Brian stuns the family when he announces that he is leaving.

"Are you kidding me Brian, you can't leave." Frank said trying to stop Brian from leaving.

"I have to, Frank, for me. I love you all. Oh, and John and Tyler. You guys are cool." Brian as he got his bag as he leave for the door.

"Somebody say something." As Lois asked as Though appalled by this, no one attempts to stop him. Although Frank Jr and Stewie runs out the house after Brian,

"Brian wait!" Frank Jr shouted.

This leading Brian to hold his cab, Stewie just spits in Brian's face, until Frank Jr beats stewie for that, and then he hugs Brian as he wish him good luck in to finding himself

Frank Jr then backs up The Cab from the driveway... he then "accidentally" runs over Stewie's tricycle on the way.

"Oops," said Frank Jr in pleasure.

"MY TRIKEY!" shouted Stewie.

Frank Jr, John and Tyler then flash the west side hand sign to Brian who flashes it back. Before Brian directs the cab to bring him to the airport.

This sets the stage for the second part to the chapter, "Brian Does Hollywood", where Brian decides to pursue the life of a filmmaker.

To be continued…..

Okay and THAT IS IT for this chapter! Hew...I'm exhausted.

Well...I hope everyone enjoyed! This is thank for pen123, Thank you all for cutaways, favoriting, having me on alerts, and for reading ^_^