Title: Sunnyhell Bites

Author: Slytherin-By-Heart

I own none of them, but that does not give me the right to screw up their little worlds. Also, I suck at keeping a time frame so you will have to forgive me.

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"Give it up Red."

"No."

"Give it to me."

"I said no. Goddess, who do you think I am?"

"Pet, it's not that hard. Just come over here and do it."

"You're such a prick. Now I see why Xander wants to stake you all the time."

"More like get in my pants."

Willow wrinkled her nose.

"Eeww, you're delusional. That is sick. Of course, I have nothing against gay couples but...eeww! I think I'm scarred for life."

Spike smirked at her reaction.

"Don't believe me then."

"I don't."

"But it's true."

"I'm not listening to that."

"I could help you forget about it if you just come over here."

"Spike, again I say no."

"You're too uptight Luv. You need to relax."

"I'm not uptight; I just have no wish of becoming a corpse."

"You wouldn't become a corpse. I would keep you around Red. You're entertaining."

She threw up her hands in mock excitement.

"Yippee. Spike finds me entertaining. I must go write that in my diary."

"Not the safest place for personal things."

"How would you know? Have your own, do you Spike?"

He looks at her calmly.

"No. I've read yours."

Silence.

"Problem Pet?"

Silence.

"Ow! Bloody hell Red, stop throwing things."

"What gives you the right to go through my things?"

"I was bored."

"You were bored? That's your excuse?"

He shrugged.

"I don't make excuses for things I do."

"So why did you say that then?"

"You deserve the truth."

"Oh, alright."

"Red."

"What?"

"Can I have it?"

"No."

"I asked nicely."

"No!"

"I'm chained to the bed in the basement. I cannot do anything. I'm bored."

"You were put down here because the females of this house have no wish to share the tub with you during a shower."

"I bet you do."

"I don't. I think sharing a shower with you would be dangerous."

"So you have put some thought into it."

"Care to have something else thrown at you?"

"Only by you Pet."

"Stuff it."

"I would be quiet if you just gave me what I want."

"I am not your personal slave to do to what you will."

"Everyone needs this once and awhile."

"You don't need it to survive. I bet there's millions of people who live without it their whole lives."

"True but they're stuck up, tight asses like the watcher."

"Giles' has had it before."

"Red, is there something you and the watcher have been hiding from everyone?"

"Angelus killed Giles' girlfriend. She wasn't one to be with a tight ass if she wasn't getting anything out of it. Therefore, that leads to them, at one time, to having it. So there."

Willow stuck out her tongue in a childish manner.

They were both quiet for a few minutes.

"Have you had it before?"

"Yes Spike I have."

"Just once?"

"No."

"Red, my thoughts about will forever be changed."

"Spike give it up. It's an innocent thing."

"If it's so innocent, why can't we share the experience?"

"You won't drop it, will you?"

"No I feel I'm wearing you down."

"I give up."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"Seriously?"

"Yes."

He bounced with excitement. A un-Spike like action.

"Can we? Right now?"

"Sure, why not. You won't shut up till up get it, so might as well get it over with."

She walked toward the stairs.

"Don't go anywhere."

"Ha, ha. Very funny Red. Just hurry up and get back here."

As Spike waited, he hummed the Jeopardy tune. Willow returned just as he finished.

"'Bout time Pet."

"You better start acting nicer or you're getting shit."

"Bad Red. Using profanity."

"You want this or not?"

"Yes. Alright I'll be good."

Pause.

"Mmmm, that's so good."

"Shut up Spike."

"Can't help it. It's so good."

"Can you be any louder?"

"Sure. (Yelling) So good. Bloody hell it's good."

"I'll take it away."

"Fine, ok, I'll be good"

Pause.

"Why didn't you bring any marshmallows? I luv marshmallows."

"This is the last time I EVER do this."

"Oh there will be sequel. Maybe an entire series."

"Just shut up and drink your hot chocolate."

END

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TBC - Soon to come, another short hopefully funny rambling.