After Ilos:

Commander Jane Shepard looked up to see a piece of Sovereign falling toward her. She had never expected to survive the Reaper attack, but she had hoped. Jane instinctively covered her head and crouched, in the way the school had taught her for quakes back on Earth. She heard the pieces crash around her, and closed her eyes tightly, expecting something which did not come. Jane heard the rest of Sovereign fall, and then, silence. She looked up and saw that she fit perfectly inside a curve in Sovereign's hull. She was trapped for the moment, but with adrenaline rushing through her, she kicked out. Wincing at the wound left from her fight with the re-animated body of Saren, she nonetheless managed to make a small opening. Jane crawled through it, holding her left, damaged arm.

Paid 10,000 credits for this damn medical interface, and it craps out the first real battle.

Shepard saw through the rubble the horrified faces of Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko and Urdnot Wrex. They must not have seen her emerge from the rubble. Shepard watched as Captain Anderson approached them, trying to get them to leave the site of the battle. Wrex turned to follow, but Kaidan stood, staring.

Jane hurried to him, jumping over rubble.

"Commander? You're-alive." said Kaidan, then let out a loud, uncharacteristic whoop.

"She's alive! By God, she's alive!" he shouted.

Urdnot Wrex turned and grinned hugely, all of his sharp reptilian teeth showing.

"Takes more than an enormous, sentient warship crashing on her head to kill our Commander." said Wrex gruffly, and then charged toward her. He crushed her against his massive chest, twirling her around.

"Down, boy." said Commander Shepard. She laughed, though her arm was killing her.

Wrex put her down, embarrassment showing on his Krogan face. Krogans were not typically known for their displays of affection, and for a warlord such as Wrex, his behavior was unthinkable.

Jane slugged him in the arm. She looked up and saw Kaidan standing in front of her, relief and something else showing on his face. Jane held out a hand for a handshake.

"Lieutenant." she said. Kaidan pulled her into a hug, rocking her back and forth. Shepard gasped, then hugged him back.

"You said this would never happen again." whispered Jane.

"To hell with what I said. I can't believe you made it." said Kaidan roughly.

Jane saw Captain Anderson over Kaidan's shoulder, and pushed Kaidan away.

"Captain." she said.

"Shepard." he said, and then his stern face broke into a grin. "You took out Saren, the geth, and Sovereign. I am proud to have once commanded you." he said.

Jane laughed. "Well, I learned from the best." she said.

Jane heard buzzing in her ear.

"Commander? Shepard, can you hear me? Shepard!" came Joker's desperate voice.

"Yes?" she said, pushing the piece against her ear.

"You're alive! So is the Council, by the way. No small thanks to me, I might add." said Joker.

Jane snickered. "I'll be sure to tell them that."

"Good. Patching them through-"

"Wait, what?" said Shepard, and then heard crackling behind her, signaling an incoming transmission on the holographic projector. "Damn it, Joker." she swore, and then turned around.

"Shepard. The Council owes you a great debt for your part in the battle against Saren and his geth."

"And Sovereign. Don't forget about the Reapers." interrupted Shepard, watching the council squirm at her mention of the Reaper.

"Yes, and Sovereign." said the Asari matriarch.

"Your actions today, as well as the sacrifices of the human species, have earned your kind a place on the Council. Do you have any suggestions as to the person we should appoint? Your word will carry a great deal of weight, as I'm sure you are away." she continued, adeptly changing the subject.

Shepard heard someone approaching, and turned around. Ambassador Udina.

"Of all the people to survive the attack on the Citadel, you have to be one of them." she muttered. His mouth smiled, but his eyes still gave their typical glare.

"In fact, I do have a suggestion for Councilor.." said Shepard, turning back to the projector.

"Commander David Anderson," she said firmly. She heard Udina begin to protest, and she whipped back around.

"You! If you had gotten off your ass earlier, we could have saved the Citadel! Don't you dare say a damn word." she hissed.

"I would be honored. I am sure I have the skills needed to serve the Council." said Anderson proudly. "I am a skilled negotiator."

"Yes, with your fists." said Udina petulantly.

Shepard laughed, thinking of the security footage Tali had showed them of Anderson punching Udina, in order to allow them to escape the Citadel. That footage had proven to be very popular with the Normandy's crew.

"Only with you, Udina." said Anderson softly. "Thank you for your vote of confidence, Shepard.

"Now back to more important matters: the Reapers." said Shepard. "There are more out there, and they will come."

The Council remained silent. Shepard sighed.

"If you won't protect the galaxy, I will." she said, and then roughly cut them off.

"Alenko, Wrex, come with me." she said, and they left for the Normandy.

The celebration on the Normandy that night was loud, raucous, and thoroughly against regulations. Shepard laughed at the look on Kaidan's face when a drunk Dr. Chakwas stumbled by.

"Relax, Lieutenant. This is a Spectre ship. Plus, we just saved the whole damn Council." said Jane, relaxing against the wall.

"I suppose." he said. "I've never gotten publicly drunk on a military vessel, is all."

"Can you believe that we're alive? The only reason I am sure I haven't died and gone to heaven is because Ash isn't here. Oh, and I don't believe in the afterlife." said Shepard, taking a long pull from her flask.

"Here's to atheism, Commander." said Garrus, holding up a glass of strange-looking liquid. "I'd hit glasses, but cross-contamination would be a very, very bad thing."

Early into the morning, Shepard stepped around passed out crewman, and entered the cockpit.

"Hello Joker." she said. "Not joining the celebration?"

"Never know when we might need to make a quick getaway, Commander. Plus, I can't." said Joker. "Interferes with my meds."

Shepard nodded. "I see you helped yourself to some food, though."

"Oh, and I wasn't alone. You just missed Tali. I can't believe some of the things I was able to convince her of about humans."

"You didn't break her mind, did you?" asked Shepard.

Joker shrugged, an evil grin on his face.

"Damn it. Well, she'll live until tomorrow." said Shepard.

"Shouldn't you be in your bunk with Alenko?" asked Joker.

Shepard looked at him sharply. "What are you talking about?" she asked.

Joker threw his head back and laughed. "You think I don't know about the two of you? What the Normandy sees, I see." said Joker.

"So you've been spying on us? I thought so! You cock blocked me, you little shit." said Shepard.

"Oh, when you were about to get all smoochy down in the cargo bay? That was a good one." said Joker, snickering.

"Did you watch us have sex, you pervert?" asked Shepard.

Joker shrugged.

"You did!" shrieked Shepard. "Boundaries, Joker!"

"I did delete the footage from the security tapes. You should be thanking me." said Joker. "Of course, there is one copy left."

"What?!" asked Shepard.

"I sent it to Alenko's terminal. He should be discovering it soon." said Joker, grinning.

Shepard shook her head. "That better be the only copy. If I ever find you looking at-"

"With a whole Extranet full of porn, you think I'd ever watch the same thing twice? Please, Shepard, what do you take me for?" asked Joker.

"A voyeur who I would break in half if he wasn't such a freakishly good pilot." said Shepard. "That's what I came up here for, you know. To tell you about what an amazing job you've done, both back on Ilos and the final confrontation. We would never have succeeded without you."

Joker said nothing, and instead just looked down at his hands.

Shepard lightly clapped him on the shoulder, and then turned and left.

Jane walked down to her cabin. She pushed the door open and saw Kaidan sitting on her bunk.

"Hello Lieutenant, looking for an encore?" she joked. He looked up, his face serious.

"No, Commander. I've thought a lot about last night, and before you make a joke, I'm here to say we should not continue with this." he said, waving a hand in the air.

"And why shouldn't we?" asked Shepard, stalking up to him.

"Because it's against regulations. We could be court-martialed, lose our jobs." said Kaidan.

"There was a time when I would have cared about that. Back when I was not commander of my own ship, with a very loyal and silent crew. Back before I was a Spectre, and hero of the galaxy. Don't you see, Kaidan? I can do whatever I want, and no one is going to stop me. I could be corrupt, or abuse my power, but the only way I want to bend the rules is to be with you. That's my one tiny bit of misconduct." said Shepard. "You said I made you feel human. I've always felt human, too human. Growing up on Earth was hard, and brutal. Most nights I went to sleep hungry, or cold, or both. Joining the military was my way out. For two years before the entrance test, I pushed myself beyond my limits. One hundred pushups a day. Target practice until my eyes crossed. Miles and miles ran every single day, through choking smog and acid rain. I made sure I could surpass every physical requirement for men. This while hustling for my daily ration, still fighting turf wars.

I was competing against kids with advanced genetic enhancements, with college educations, with family influence. I had none of that. I barely graduated high school. I worked so damned hard to get where I am, Kaidan. The day of the entrance exams, I blew them away. I passed every test they threw at me. They could not believe I was some gang-banger Earth kid."

"A diamond in the rough." mused Kaidan, and then looked aghast that he had said that aloud.

Shepard laughed. "Well, I spent many, many years being refined, Alenko, and I'm not even half as polished as you. My speech still reflects my upbringing, or lack thereof. God, it's so embarrassing sometimes." she said. "You should have seen me, the first day at Mess. I ate myself sick, and then Lt. Harrison noticed I was stashing food in my pockets. Luckily for me, he didn't bust me in front of everyone. He asked me about it later, and stupid kid I was, I just tried to turn it into a fight."

Kaidan remembered reading the reports of Akuze, how one Commander Harrison had thrown himself at the thresher maw, his last four grenades on his belt activated.

"He taught me everything about being a civilized person. I didn't even really know how to use eating utensils, or how often I should bathe, or how to react without violence. Back in the Reds it was kill or be killed, show weakness and you're toast, man."

"It doesn't seem like you have any of those problems now." said Kaidan. "You are the cleanest person I know."

"Oh, just because I'm paranoid about smelling bad or looking dirty. You know what I spent my bonus from Akuze on?"

"The memorial, I saw." said Kaidan, wondering why she would tell him this.

"No, the Alliance was embarrassed about that, and reimbursed me. No, I spent it on these." said Shepard, and bared her teeth, pointing at them. "You should have seen them before. They were crooked and hurt all the time. Now, I do believe I could bite a hole in the Normandy's hull, with how much I paid for them. Top of the line."

Kaidan sat back and listened to her talk. Shepard never talked about her past, especially not about her time on Earth, or what had happened on Akuze. He noticed her grey eyes were unusually bright, and realized she was probably still tipsy. As a biotic, any buzz he managed to get after drinking burned off in an hour, at best.

"I haven't gotten any other enhancements, though. I got this far with this body, it would almost be a betrayal, you know?" said Shepard, then rambled on.

" I was the best soldier I could be. I never broke any regulations, not even the ones everyone breaks, like the rules against non-black socks, or appropriate shore leave activities. On Akuze, I followed the regulations regarding combat against Thresher Maws to the letter. I survived because I had the will, and the luck, sure, but also because I was prepared. Of my entire squad, I was the only one who had read through all the Alliance regulations. So don't talk to me about regulations, Alenko. I've followed them since the day I turned eighteen." said Shepard, pacing in front of him. "Haven't I earned this one thing of my own? Haven't we earned it?"

Kaidan shook his head, a smile on his face. "You really know how to give a speech, Commander."

"Still with the title? It's Jane, Kaidan. Jane, Jane, Jane." said Jane.

"Come here, Jane, Jane, Jane." said Kaidan. She sat down next to him and laid her head on his shoulder. Soon, he heard her soft snoring, and moved her ever so slightly onto the bed.

"Goodnight, Shepard." he said, and then left, turning out the light.

When Jane opened her eyes again, it was well into the next afternoon. Kaidan was gone. She winced at the light, and Joker's voice through the intercom.

"Commander, what are your orders?" he asked. Jane knew he was speaking loudly through the intercom deliberately, to annoy the rest of the crew. She walked over to the intercom.

"Now, we have leads to chase down, and a galaxy to save. Again." said Shepard through the private link to Joker.

"Aww, no shore leave?" he whined.

"Where? The ruined Citadel? I think not. Maybe after things have been cleaned up a little, I'll consider it." said Shepard.

"Good point." said Joker.

"Now, we are off to Quirinus, the military colony. I have a few contacts there who might have some information we need." said Shepard. "Tell Pressley I sent the coordinates to him."

"Right on, Commander." said Joker, and the intercom clicked off.

Jane exited her room and headed to the dining hall.

"Commander. Feeling good today?" asked Kaidan cheekily.

"Sure am, Alenko. What do you have there? God, I'm hungry." said Shepard.

He handed her a bowl of something brown, and she grabbed it eagerly. One thing they shared was their complete and utter enthusiasm for any food offered them. Jump Zero and Vyrnnus would have cured him of any finickiness about food, if being a biotic hadn't done that already. Kaidan ate ravenously throughout the day, and still was barely able to take in his daily requirement of calories. He watched her eat, her spoon very carefully held in her hand, and smiled, thinking of what she had told him the night before. Did she remember her little confessional?

"Oh, Alenko?" she said. "I believe I can trust you to keep our conversation last night confidential?"

Kaidan's grin widened. So she did remember. "You can, Commander." he said. "And I must say, your table manners are impeccable."

Jane laughed, ignoring the strange look Garrus was giving them.

"Humans." he said. "Is this some sort of idiom I have not heard?"

"Don't worry yourself, Vakarian. I didn't understand, either." said the doctor, gingerly prodding her breakfast.

"Prepare for evasive maneuvers!" shouted Joker through the intercom. Shepard and Kaidan jumped up immediately, their food forgotten. The ship rocked violently to the side. Food and crew-people went flying. Hull breech alarms squalled around their heads, and Shepard got to her feet.

"Kaidan! Get everyone to the escape pods." shouted Jane, reaching into the emergency locker for a hardsuit. She shrugged into it, and sneezed at the dust inside.

"What are you doing? I'm not leaving without you." said Kaidan, as people swarmed around him, rushing for the escape bay.

"Alenko, I gave you a fucking order. Get out of here." shouted Jane.

Kaidan looked at her, and crossed his arms over his chest. "No."

Shepard snarled at him, and pushed him roughly. "Don't make me repeat myself." she hissed. "Go. You have to make sure your crew is safe."

Kaidan saw people running around, frantic. He sighed. "You better be coming right after me." he said.

"Someone needs to save that idiot in the cockpit. Besides his bum legs, he has this notion that a good captain goes down with his ship. And Kaidan-" she started.

A shriek cut through the air, and the ship rocked again. Her eyes widened, and she took off at a dead run toward the cockpit.

Kaidan ripped his gaze away and began herding people toward the pods.

He saw Liara limping toward him, and he helped her into the pod. He saw all of the familiar faces of his immediate crew. He pulled Liara into the pod, and the automatic full-capacity doors clicked shut behind them.

Kaidan dropped Liara roughly and threw himself against the closing doors. "No!" he shouted. "Shepard's still out there!"

"She'll get out, you'll see." said Tali reasonably, though her voice shook.

Shepard stumbled into the cockpit, gingerly moving through space. She was relieved to see Joker's fingers still moving across the controls.

"Joker, we have to go." she said urgently.

"No! I can still save her!" said Joker, his voice cracking.

"She's lost. Get up, I'm getting you out of here." said Shepard, and pulled him up roughly.

"Ouch! Watch the legs" complained Joker as she threw him over her shoulder and moved toward the escape bay. The ship burned and cracked around them, and she ignored her fear as she ran forward. Shepard threw Joker into the last escape pod, and began to enter when the ship was hit again, throwing her back. She held on, barely, and punched a fist against the ejection button.

"What are you doing? Shepard?" screamed Joker as she saluted him through the closing doors.

Shepard felt herself hit by some debris, and then the air was gone. She drifted, her vision blackening. The last thing she saw was the Normandy, breaking in half.