The Birth of Trunks

The Birth of Trunks

A child-heavy Bulma came tottering out of the bedroom whimpering in pain (Ryoko: Washu, this one is for you. To all my readers, the original wording was "Whimpering like a tortured cat" but Washu didn't like it, so I changed it. Washu: "EEEERRRRWWWOOooowww" is what a tortured cat makes me think of, thank you very much! ) Still whimpering she called to her newly-wed husband, "Um, Vegeta, we need to go... NOW"

"You will not tell me what to do, Woman. I'm not taking you anywhere!"

"FINE! I'll just sit on your lap and crap this damn kid out on your jeans!"

"WHAT!? You're going to give birth? Now? But my team is winning"

"No, I thought I would go visit the toothfairy's; see if I can get a contract for 10 bucks a tooth," She howled with pain as the muscles in her abdomen clenched in a contraction, "YES I'M GOING TO GIVE BIRTH NOW!! AND I DON'T CARE IF YOUR TEAM IS BREAKING THE RECORD FOR ADIENCE CAPTIVATION! YOU ARE TAKING ME TO THE HOSPITAL, NOW!!"

Vegeta started at his wife as her face contorted in pain. In a moment they were flying high above the ground and in the next moment Vegeta was screaming at the top of his lungs for the damn doctor to get out there and deliver his child. A frantic nurse ran out to tell him that they couldn't deliver the child in the parking lot. "Why the hell not?"

A screaming Bulma answered for the abused-looking nurse, "Because if you don't get me in that building so that I can have some freaking morphine I'm going to take away your means of giving me another child!" The man gulped, hard.

Six hours later Bulma was screaming louder than was humanly possible with the pain of childbirth. Vegeta tried to help, "Breathe, Bulma. Push, now breath."

"SHUT-UP, VEGGIETABLE! HEY, EVER HEAR OF A CONDOM?!?!?!?"

"Push, Bulma. You need to push."

"YOU NEED TO SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS! STORE IT SOMEWHERE NEAR YOUR HEAD! OH, GODDESS! WHY DID I EVER LET YOU NEAR ME THAT NIGHT?!?!?!"

A wary nurse carefully approached Vegeta, for he was sweating and grinding his teeth in an effort not knock his wife out while giving birth. "Um, sir? You seem to be causing her more distress than the child; it's the doctor's request that you leave."

"Shut the fuck up, lady!" Bulma and Vegeta both told the offend nurse.

Two hours later the doctor places a clean baby Trunks into Bulma's arms.

"WHAT!?" Vegeta cried at his first sight of his son, "Cut that off!"

"EXCUSE ME!?!?!" Bulma shrieked, shielding her son for his father's stare.

"Relax, Woman, I'm talking about that pink little tuff of hair on his forehead."

"Shut-up, Veggie, and take comfort in the fact that he doesn't look like you."

Vegeta growled at the woman as she grinned slyly.

"Say," She ventured with a devious tone in her voice, "I've carried this little treasure in a swollen belly-bed for nine months now… I think it's your turn." She plopped baby Trunks into Vegetas' barely ready arms and the baby wailed furiously. Vegeta made a face at Bulma as she sighed and rolled onto her side and commented reproachfully, "He has his mother's lungs."