I knew tears were running down my cheeks but I didn't care. If Hidan had really meant what he said to me than fuck him. Fuck the world! Especially Hidan. If he doesn't want me than no one gets me. The thoughts ran through my head, surprising me. I wasn't suicidal. I grabbed my clay bag and went to get some food.
I walk through the hideout, laughing as Itachi and Kisame had an epic argument over who was seme and who was uke, and everyone knew Itachi was another me, destined for uke-ness for life. I looked on as Tobi screamed out Zetsu's name in ecstasy. Is everyone but me around here getting a good fuck? No, Hidan is alone too. I whispered the words aloud too, shocked as I heard a gasping 'fuck' come from Hidan and Kakuzu's room. No fucking way! I heard Kakuzu yell at Hidan and I froze.
"Stay still you fuckwit! God, you ditch the blonde, beg for me and then don't stay fucking still!"
"Fucking money whore, how can I stay still if I'm in freaking heaven? You are a fucking good kisser!"
I gasp out loud and run as I hear Hidan stir from the bed. No way was I going to get caught breaking my own heart.
"What the fuck... I think I heard someone outside... I'm gonna check."
I ran into the forest, to the waterfall and I swear as I feel for my clay bag. I was desperate to blow crap up and I'd left my clay bag in my room... no, I definitely put it on my belt when I left my room... fuck no! I must have dropped it when I ran! From a Hidan and Kakuzu moment... Hidan really doesn't love me anymore.
****Flashback!!!****
"Hey Hidan!" I glomp the witless Jashinist. "How are things, yeah?"
"Bugger off Deidara! I'm sick of you, I hate the fact that you love me and I don't love you!" The religious man had no clue how much that hurt. He walked off, muttering under his breath.
****End flashback!!!****
As I reminisce about my time with Hidan, I hear a loud argument that overtook the shouting from Kisame and Itachi's room. It was Hidan and Kakuzu, yelling at each other as I fumbled around the cloak for the knife I always keep hidden under the folds of the heavy cloak.
"Deidara! Dei?" I heard Hidan yelling as he ran from his room. The knife slipped as I felt a hand on my shoulder. "Deidara? What are you doing?" Hidan's voice was full of fear as he saw the tears of blood drip down my wrist.
"Bugger off! I'm not talking to you! You've hurt me enough! I'm sick of being hurt!" My words had a hidden meaning and Hidan knew that. I was talking about Sasori too. He'd said a similar thing to me before our last mission together, and just look where he ended up. He's dead and despised by someone who used to love him... not the best farewell.
"Deidara... I'm sorry! I didn't want to hurt you! I knew I would eventually; that's why I did break it off!" He pulled me into a hug and I struggled as he tried to kiss me.
"Then why the hell were you fucking Kakuzu? I hate you! Trying to lie to me? How's that a sign of love, hm." Hidan looked down at the grass, the blades stained with my blood.
"It's not that. I'm sorry. I just..." I cut him of my hurling the kunai at his chest. "Deidara?"
I stumbled backwards, forgetting I was at the edge of a waterfall. "Fuck!" I exclaim as I trip, falling backwards. As I hit the water with the sound of a yell in my ears, I yell to Hidan. "I love you, Hidan!"
