Author's Note: So, here's how we're going to do this. I'll give you the parodied song, and then I'll explain the lyrics to you. I watched both PotC movies and counted to get the numbers right, so I hope you enjoy this. It was pretty hard.
Disclaimer: ...
On the first day of sailing my Captain gave to me:
A ship to sail the sea.
On the second day of sailing my Captain gave to me:
Two turtle rafts,
and a ship to sail the sea.
On the third day of sailing my Captain gave to me:
Three fainting Swanns,
Two turtle rafts,
and a ship to sail the sea.
On the fourth day of sailing my Captain gave to me:
Four slapped Sparrows,
Three fainting Swanns,
Two turtle rafts,
and a ship to sail the sea.
On the fifth day of sailing my Captain gave to me:
Five bottles of rum...
Four slapped Sparrows,
Three fainting Swanns,
Two turtle rafts,
and a ship to sail the sea.
On the sixth day of sailing my Captain gave to me:
Six posters hanging,
Five bottles of rum...
Four slapped Sparrows,
Three fainting Swanns,
Two turtle rafts,
and a ship to sail the sea.
On the seventh day of sailing my Captain gave to me:
Seven Wills a fighting,
Six posters hanging,
Five bottles of rum...
Four slapped Sparrows,
Three fainting Swanns,
Two turtle rafts,
and a ship to sail the sea.
On the eighth day of sailing my Captain gave to me:
Eight men a sleeping,
Seven Wills a fighting
Six posters hanging,
Five bottles of rum...
Four slapped Sparrows,
Three fainting Swanns,
Two turtle rafts,
and a ship to sail the sea.
On the ninth day of sailing my Captain gave to me:
Nine ships a sinking,
Eight men a sleeping,
Seven Wills a fighting,
Six posters hanging,
Five bottles of rum...
Four slapped Sparrows,
Three fainting Swanns,
Two turtle rafts,
and a ship to sail the sea.
On the tenth day of sailing my Captain gave to me:
Ten monkeys screeching,
Nine ships a sinking,
Eight men a sleeping,
Seven wills a fighting,
Six posters hanging,
Five bottles of rum...
Four slapped Sparrows,
Three fainting Swanns,
Two turtle rafts,
and a ship to sail the sea.
On the eleventh day of sailing my Captain gave to me:
Eleven pirates pirating,
Ten monkeys screeching,
Nine ships a sinking,
Eight men a sleeping,
Seven Wills a fighting,
Six posters hanging,
Five bottles of rum...
Four slapped Sparrows,
Three fainting Swanns,
Two turtle rafts,
and a ship to sail the sea.
On the twelfth day of sailing my Captain gave to me:
Twelve cannibals cooking,
Eleven pirates pirating,
Ten monkeys screeching,
Nine ships a sinking,
Eight men a sleeping,
Seven Wills a fighting,
Six posters hanging,
Five bottles of rum...
Four slapped Sparrows,
Three fainting Swanns,
And…
A SHIP TO SAIL THE SEA!
-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-
Okay, now let's take a closer look, savvy?
A ship to sail the sea: Put quite simply, it's the Black Pearl.
Two turtle rafts: In the first movie, Jack "rode a couple of sea turtles." In the second, Will found his way to the island by "sea turtles...A pair of 'em, strapped to my boots." Ergo, there were "Two turtle rafts."
Three fainting Swanns: Elizabeth Swann "faints" a total of three times in the two movies. Once for real, because of the bloody corset. The other two times were fake -In the end of CotBP, she faints to distract Norrington and her father. And then again in DMC, while the boys were fighting: "Oh the heat! The heat!"
Four slapped Sparrows: Jack Sparrow gets slapped four different times in CotBP. Once by Giselle, once by Scarlet, and twice by Anamaria. And, of course, no times in DMC.
Five bottles of rum: Pirate ;)
Six posters hanging: Alright, just so you know, I did this one out of complete desperation. I had all of the days finished, but this one, and had run out of ideas. Then I noticed that there were "six posters hanging" on my wall. All from DMC, and they were the only six I've seen, so I'm assuming that they are the only ones out there for that movie.
Seven Wills a fighting: Okay, when I watched the two movies, I counted Will getting a sword fight seven different times. They were as follows:
CotBP:
1) In the beginning, with Jack in the blacksmith shop.
2) The night Elizabeth gets kidnaped, when the pirates invade Port Royal.
3)Towards the end, when Jack's fighting Barbossa, Will's fighting the undead pirate crew.
4) At the very end of the movie, when Will helps Jack escape the hangman's noose.
DMC:
5)Technically, he's not sword fighting the cannibals on Cannibal Island, but he does have his sword drawn, and is swinging it about.
6)On the Flying Dutchman, with the creepy fish people.
7) And lastly, my favorite part of the movie, the three way sword fight involving Jack, Will, and Norrington.
Eight men a sleeping: Between the two fo them, Jack and Will get knocked out cold seven different times in the movie. Add Norrington's one time to the mix, and you get eight. And, well, when you're unconscious, you're sleeping. Sort of.
Here are the times the boys are knocked out:
CotBP:
1)Mr. Brown breaks his bottle over Jack's head in the smithy.
2)Some random pirate -Jacoby, maybe?- hits Will on the back of the head the night they invade the fort.
3) Will lays it on Jack with an oar in the pirates' cave, not wanting to be his "leverage." Not very nice of Will.
DMC:
4) The cannibals knock out Will, not by hitting him over the head, but by shooting him with a dart.
5)Will gets knocked out a second time when one of the Dutchman's crew whacks him a good on.
6) Elizabeth "gets the pleasure of doing that herself" when she breaks Norrington's on bottle over his head.
7) Jack pretty much knocks himself out when he runs right into the pole on the wheel Will and Norrington are going at it on.
8) Poor Will gets knocked out a third time when Jack gets his revenge and smacks him upside the head with an oar.
Nine ships a sinking: Between the two movies, nine different ships sink, or at least "run a ground." They are:
CotBP:
1) The ship that young Will had been on when young Elizabeth noticed him floating on a piece of driftwood.
2) The Jolly Mon (The ship Jack sails into Port Royal on, for those of you who didn't know its name.)
3) The little longboat that the Interceptor runs over on its way out of the bay, carrying both Jack and Will.
4)The Interceptor explodes.
DMC:
5)The Turkish ship that the Kraken eats in the beginning of the movie; the one carrying the people that find Jack's hat.
6) The ship that Will assumes to be the Dutchman, the one that hit a reef.
7)The ship that carries first Elizabeth, then Will. It sinks when Will is on board, after Davy Jones sends the Kraken after it.
8)We don't actually see this one sink, but it sunk nonetheless. The ship that pursued Jack and his crew, captained by Norrington; the one that tried to sail through the hurricane mentioned in the movie.
9) Last -and most important- the Black Pearl sinks, and the Captain along with it. -sniffles-
Ten monkeys screeching: I counted ten screeches released from that blasted undead monkey throughout both movie. I probably missed some, but then I wouldn't have a tenth day, so it works out. I didn't write down when he screeched, so I can't say when he did.
Eleven pirates pirating: Yes, I know there are a whole lot more pirates in the movie than just eleven. After all, it is a pirate movie. But, there were only eleven "major" or what I call, "majorly minor" pirates mentioned that we know the names of and actually have a good number of lines. They are:
1) Jack
2) Will (If he's not a pirate yet, he's well on his way to becoming one. That, and his daddy's a pirate.)
3) Elizabeth (Normally, I wouldn't consider her a pirate, but Jack himself called her one. He knows what he's talking about, so I had to include her.)
4)Barbossa
5) Pintel
6) Ragetti
7) Bootstrap Bill
8) Gibbs
9) Mr. Cotton (He may not have any lines, but his parent talks for him more times than one. 'Sides, he's pretty cool.)
10) Davy Jones (Fishface or not, he's still a pirate.)
11) Anamaria (The coolest female pirate I've ever heard of -with the exception of myself, of course. -coughs-)
Twelve cannibals cooking: This isn't an exact count, but it works anyway, eh? There are probably more than twelve, but its only said once in the song, and has a catchy ring to it.
HAPPY CHRISTMAS, EVERYONE!
