I hate that you make my heart bleed for you
Luke's thoughts after the roof scene but before the makeup/confrontation scene
I want to love you Noah, I really do and in a way I still do with all my heart but this is just so hard. I want to love you, but you can't love me, not the real me and I'm afraid of you, for you…
I can feel your touch, when I close my eyes. Every single kiss we shared, the first time I said that I loved you under the mistletoe and when I did it again, this Christmas before everything when down.
When the pain almost destroys me, I remember your touch, that sweet carrying touch that would take everything away and I'm crying inside because you're all I ever wanted. So close and yet so far are you, I'm so scared when you're not around. Little my little my heart break, longer for you touch that you no longer want to give me
Your heart grieves for me, I can see it in your eyes and all the time when you wish me to be someone else, someone less than the man that you used to love. Why do we have to punish our hearts so, why can't we just let go?
I can feel you, when I close my eyes or at least that's what I try to believe. We wanted to get there, to finally make love but you always leave and every time I try you go so far away, trying to escape. and I don't know what I should do…Because I know that you cry for me, when I cannot see, and I don't think that t even knowing you are. it was you who smiled to me when I was sad, being the stronger when it counted, who came home to me, who held me when I needed to. But it was always you, who ran your way and I let you disappear…asking for another damn space yet again.
When we haven't met in a while, you call me but you only speak a few words as like you just want to know that I'm still there, waiting for you. And my heart is so heavy after all this time because I could love you, I do love you more the you know but you disappear always, leaving me alone…
