Disclaimer- Yeah, yeah, I don't own it...
Author's Note- This story was written as a joke between a few good friends and me based off a running argument about which hobbit was best. As you can see, I say Sam. However, all my jabs towards Merry and Pippin are just jokes. I really do like the little buggers. Oh, and this is full of inside jokes; I'll try to explain the main ones, but if you don't get something, that's probably why... so without further ado...
Chapter #1- The Mushroom Escapade
Once upon a time, there was a hobbit named Samwise Gamgee. Sam had just entered his tweens, and he was the envy of every young hobbit in the Shire due to the fact that he was hot, buff, studious, kind and perfect in every way.
Two of Sam's many, many friends were named Merry and Pippin. Now Merry and Pippin were in every way opposite to Sam. They were lazy, immature, rude, and ugly, but because Sam was such a nice guy, he tolerated them and hung out with them because no one else would. Besides, they were fun.
One day while Sam was busy learning the basics of Elvish from old Mr. Bilbo, Merry and Pippin decided to go for a smoke in Farmer Maggot's field. After a while of smoking the weed, Merry and Pippin began to get quite woozy, and (as was quite usual when they smoked a little too much) they began to plan to steal something. Today it was Farmer maggot's mushrooms. Without Sam to keep them in line, Merry and Pippin soon headed off to the mushroom fields.
Merry and Pippin had just finished filling their sack with mushrooms, and they were quite sure that this time (unlike in their previous bouts with Maggot's crops) they were going to succeed. However, suddenly they heard a growl behind them. They turned around slowly to see Farmer Maggot standing behind his three dogs. "Sic 'em, boys!" Maggot commanded calmly. The two young hobbits turned and raced from the field with the snarling dogs close behind.
Merry and Pippin ran until they stumbled into the Old Forest. They stopped and listened closely. No dogs could be heard. As the hobbits regained their breath, Pippin said gaily, "Well, at least we got the mushrooms!"
"Yeah," Merry replied, "where are they?"
Pippin stared at him blankly. "Didn't you pick them up?" he asked.
"Dude, I thought you had them! Crap..." Merry's voice trailed off.
Suddenly they noticed that the sun was setting. They knew it wouldn't be safe to be in the Old Forest after dark, so after about ten minutes of trying to figure out which way to go, they finally started off... in the wrong direction. Little did they know that as he sun sank lower and lower in the sky they were heading deep into the heart of the Old Forest.
End of Chapter One...
