I do not own the characters of Girl Meets World.
Please approach this fanfiction with caution. This will mention abuse, eating disorders, depression, self harm, and suicide.
Dedicated to anyone who has been touched by either of those things.


Maya shivered at the first touch of a cigarette between her chapped lips. Her pale fingers trembled as she brought the lighter to the end of the killing machine. The crisp wind of autumn kissed her cheeks until they turned a rosy pink, her messy blonde nest of hair tickling her face. After series of shaking and hesitation, she finally lights it. Slowly removing it from her lips, she coughed violently, causing her to spit and tremble some more. The taste of the cigarette was honestly revolting and she could already feel the intoxication fogging her mind, the poison devouring her lungs.

Though she already disliked her first cigarette, the revolting thing devoured the hunger that had ate at her belly. It replaced the feeling of not having a hot meal on the table every night, the feeling she had gotten when her fingers brushed over her rib cage. Running nervous fingers through her hair she put it between her lips once more, the drug already poisoning her fragile body with an addiction. More confidently, she exhaled a fog of smoke, causing her to cringe up her nose as she inhaled it in. Something so wrong had always been right in her mindset. Sighing, she entered her home.

The blonde had been sitting in her father's scruffy apartment, having taken custody over for what had been two years. She had always looked upon her father as a con. If it weren't for him making her mother seem abusive in the clutches of her child, she wouldn't have to befriend the rats and other disease carrying things that infested her home. She probably would have been getting a decent education, even though she cared to pay attention in class anyway when she was attending school. Even though the dream tickled her, maybe she would have had at least one decent meal. Her father was a disappearing sleaze bag who had the decency to leave his only child alone. The reason that channeled her drug abuse and the slits that decorated her arm. She inhaled a sharp breath, the damage of it all crowding her head.

She lay on the couch, reaching over as she shriveled the cigarette in her father's ashtray. It honestly wasn't complicated to get the killing machines she called her saviors. Her father always left his cigarettes and extra lighters lying around. Whenever he didn't finish his alcohol, he left it in the fridge untouched. Her father had always been a violent guy in the past, leaving razor and pocket knives in unsecured drawers. Sighing, she stared at the black screen of their cable T.V, her knees at her face as she curled up. She shivered a bit, only having a small blanket covering half of her body. Her father barely made enough money, so they never had the luxury of having heat or hot bath water. Hunger threatened her once more, her throat dry from dehydration. She groaned, struggling from her place on the couch.

Crawling, she let her pale cheeks come in contact with the chilly tiled floor. For once she didn't mind the uncleanness of the floor, letting it brush up against the dust and dirt beneath her. Using the wobbly kitchen table for balance, she steadied herself. Breathing slowly, she opened the refrigerator door slowly. Hastily, she snatched the first bottle of alcohol he had. Her father always had multiple flavors, some surprisingly worth the abuse to her body. Twisting the cork a couple of times, the brown sponge popped from it's home. Looking it over once more, Maya found the bottle to her lips, just the smell of the liquid already devouring her. Slowly, the liquid drowned her taste buds and burned her throat. She sputtered, the taste spicy and thrilling. It wasn't definitely something new her father picked up. Taking one more gulp, she placed the burning liquid back into the fridge.

She found her tongue licking her chapped lips, the evidence still fresh on them. As she traveled back to her seat on the couch, she heard the unlocking of the front door. Her body froze as she realized the consequences to come if her father found out she had been downing his drinks. As she was about to make a run for a closet down the hall, it was already too late. Her father slid into the living room, a small smirk on his face as he looked his daughter up and down. A cigarette of his own was between his lips. Placing the alcohol down on the coffee table he traveled toward Maya until she could smell of the mustiness of his clothes. He stood tall, looking down at his daughter. "I see you didn't do the dishes like I told you." he breathed, his breath another drug intoxicating her.

Maya could feel herself tremble under the brooding eyes of her father. A smirk on his lips were evident, a sign that something damaging would break her again. As a humanly mistake, she had honestly forgot to do the simple tasks her father instructed her to do, considering so many things were on her mind. She had no food to fulfill her hunger, no treatment to heal her wounds, and no love to save her fragile heart. She gulped, but tried her best to clench her fists in an attempt to seem confident, but it failed as he took another step closer to her. "I-I'm sorry dad, I just forgot." She stated simply, her tone shaky. A low chuckle emitted from his throat as he listened to her petty excuse. Bending down, he was inches away from his daughter's lips.

"We'll see if you'll forget now that'll face the consequences." He smiled, taking Maya by her slit wrists. She thrashed, too weak from hunger and dehydration to push him away. He dominated her, pushing Maya violently up against the wall. She could feel warm tears pouring from her eyes, the tears disorienting her vision. She let out a cry, knowing she was too vulnerable to escape from his grasp. She watched as his rough hands traveled up her tattered skirt, causing her to cringe as they brushed over her self harm. "Dad, p-please. I didn't mean to." Maya begged, shaking as he violated her body. Her father only smirked again, his hot breathing in her ear. "Well at least we know you'll be a good girl next time." Trailing down the side of the face, his dry lips pressed to her neck. He breathed in satisfaction, stroking his daughter's hair. All Maya could do was watch her own father abuse her in such a way. After a series of more caressing and kissing his daughter, he let her run free.

Breathless, she hurried to the front door, rushing into the chilly clutches of autumn. When she reached the ground, she felt herself crumble to the ground in an emotional state. She shook, the images of what her father had just done flickered in her mind like a mind, burning her internally. Her head throbbed, her body feeling as if she was caving in. Sucking in a breath, she felt for her small flip phone in her pocket. Something her mother had given her before her father dragged her away. Looking through her phone, she found that someone had left her a message. Clicking on it, she found it was from Lucas, the only small piece of happiness in her life. Lucas had found Maya sleeping near a dumpster one night when she refused to return home. From there he took her home and washed her up, whispering sweet nothings in her ear. To Maya, he had been the only miracle in her wretched life, and forever should he be.

From Lucas 7:45
Hey Maya, Simon is throwing a party at his place. He said I can bring a friend along.
I hope to see you there. -xoxo

Maya pulled the skin from her chapped lips, causing them to bleed. Her pale skin was decorated with slits and other abuse, and her clothes were tattered and something you bought out the dollar store. Sighing, she struggled up from the dirt filled ground, wiping herself off. Surely Lucas would understand that the environment Maya was coming from prohibited her from affording nice things that most teenagers were walking around with nowadays. Wouldn't he be in an haze of embarrassment if she showed up looking like someone who had lived in an dumpster all her life? All the blonde wanted to do was walk through this world without feeling that she had to make an effort to be what people expected her to be. She wanted to be like one of those girls who woke up flawlessly and got the life she always wanted. Most of all, she just wanted her happy ending.

Simon was a friend of Lucas, and a wealthy one at that. His father was the CEO of his own business, making millions every month, while his mother owned a famous restaurant where people all over the world make reservations there. Maya had always been envious of him, from his wealth, his popularity, and how he got everything that left his mouth. Though with that envy came suspicion. Maya had always walked with a mindset that wealthy people were always the people to stab you in the back. The ones who used you up until ever little piece was gone. The ones that could say they enjoy your presence but don't give a crap later on. The blonde had learned that lesson in her days of middle school. Sure, befriending someone wealthy bestowed you with popularity, but you only became damaged in the end.

After what felt like miles of walking, she stood on the doorstep of his five story home. She half expected for him to have a mansion, but then again you wouldn't have found houses like those around where she lived. Taking a small breath, her finger pressed the doorbell. There was no loud music nor crowding teenagers at the home, so she figured the party was just getting started. After a moment or so, she was greeted by the brown skinned boy known as Simon. He smiled a bit, opening the door to what smelled like Heaven. "Ah, you must the Maya. Lucas can't stop blabbering about you." He rolled his eyes, a smile still tugging at his face. "Please make yourself at home. You're a tad bit early so it's one Lucas, I, and some other guys." He explained. Maya nodded, forcing a smile as she stepped into his home.

Maya inhaled as she smelled something heavenly, like cookies. She could feel her mouth watering, her stomach begging for something to devour. She sighed though, the smell causing her to remember the good old days when her and her mother. When her mother was in a good mood and had enough money to afford such treats, she agreed to bake some cookies for her daughter. The toothy grin on her face left a flicker of hope in her heart, something that told her that she wasn't completely the neglectful mother everyone had made her out to be. Smiling a bit at the happy memory, she followed Simon into the kitchen, revealing the others. There, they sat at a table playing cards, a plate of chocolate chip cookies in front of them. Lucas bore through Maya's soul when he glanced up at her with a smile, those green eyes that had saved her that night.

"Hey Maya, we were just playing cards while we wait for the others to arrive." He smiled, traveling over to her. Unexpectedly, he wrapped his arms around her wait, pulling the blonde into an embrace. Maya could feel her heartbeat pound in her ears, needing that hug considering what she had been through in the last hour. She genuinely gave a small smile, letting their fingertips lingers as they slowly intertwined with each others. A small rosiness on her cheeks, a flame flickered in her heart, grateful to at least have one person stand by her side. The guys sitting at the table, including Simon started to make kissy faces, causing Maya to blush and look at the ground.

After a mere hour, Simon was constantly making trips to the door, inviting his crowds of teenagers. Maya began felt claustrophobic and out of place once as flawless individuals strutted through the doors, their daring eyes glancing over at her with criticism. The blonde felt her own frizzy hair as she watched curls and straightened cascade down the perfect frames of females. She took a glance at her own clothing as people walked around with expensive name brand clothing. The black jacket she wore on her thin frame was worn out and had a hole in it's pocket. The shirt she wore was plain and wrinkled. Her black stockings and red skirt ripped and stretched. The only pair of shoes she owned were a worn out pair of black converse. She sighed, sticking her hands in her pockets.

Simon strutted back in the kitchen where Maya sat, a red cup in his hand. He took a sip from his cup, his trained on Maya. She squirmed under his gaze, rather frightened at what his intentions could be at this moment. Taking the cup from his lips, he smirked at Maya, one of his feet propped against the cabinets. "Not much of a party animal, eh? Well at least help yourself to some alcohol." He offered, putting the red cup back to his lips. Maya could feel herself grow sweaty at the mention of alcohol. Her hunger still threatened her, despite the cookies and glass of water she fed it an hour ago. Gulping a bit, she nodded.

"Sure I'll just have one cup." She replied, watching as he pulled the alcohol from his refrigerator. A smirk still tugging on his face, he poured the poisoning liquid slowly, as to intimidate her. Walking over, he placed the identical cup in front of her. Glancing up at him, he raised his eyebrows. "Go ahead and drink it pretty girl, don't be shy." He persuaded, gazing at her. Maya could feel her face warm. Did he seriously just call me pretty? Taking a small breath, she wrapped her fingers around the cup, taking a sip shyly. The drink wasn't as spicy as the drink back home, but it did burn her throat like the poison it was.

Smiling in satisfaction, he pressured the girl into downing another drink. "Now wasn't that good? One more cup full won't hurt anyone." He smirked, leaning over her. His hands grabbed the handle bars of the chair, his body inches away from hers. Maya felt herself panic a bit, her mind flashing back to the way her father warm breath met her ears, his hand on her thigh. Trembling a bit, she nodded. "F-fine. This will be my last cup." She stammered, attempting to be more confident with her words. She watched intently as he poured her a second cup. He pushed it in front of her, a smile still on his stupid face.

Though that wasn't the last one. Pressure and persuasion played it's dirty game and manipulated Maya. From sweet talking from Simon, from just downright threats, Maya now sat in her chair, barely able to get up. Her vision and the sound of the music was disoriented, the world spinning around her. She struggled to keep her eyes open, her speech slurring. It wasn't until hands wrapped around her mouth when things started to get dangerous. Maya thrashed, yelling muffled swears as the figure pulled her out in the kitchen. Through her disoriented vision, she could see others in front of her but she couldn't make out who it was.

Screaming and kicking had done nothing, considering the attackers only tightened their grip on her. Soon enough, she is thrown hard into the back of something hard. She screamed, hearing something shut behind her. As she tried to sit up, she hit her head hard on something above, causing tears to form in her eyes. She lay back down on the hard surface, waiting for her eyes to refocus. Before she could give herself time, she was jerked forward by a sudden motion. She screamed once more, still in her confused and drunken state. Taking the time to breath hastily, she closed her eyes. After of moment of being throw around, bumped, and rolled. After her vision got a tad bit better, she realized where she was. In the back of a trunk.

She trembled, hoping that this situation was all a dream. Violated by her father was one thing, but being drugged and thrown into a trunk to her possible death was another. Her throat was hoarse from previous screaming, her head still throbbing from hitting it above. She sighed, tears glittering in her eyes as she sat with her knees to her face. So this was how it was going to end, huh? In fact, Maya wasn't afraid of dying, but afraid of how she was going to die. She sighed, letting the car throw her around like an animal.

After what felt like an eternity, the car had finally jolted to a stop. She opened her groggy eyes, having attempted to sleep on the way. She half expected to end up dead, considering there was no oxygen in a trunk, but she remember reading something online stating that a trunk wasn't a completely sealed off area. Her body jumped as the trunk was opened up. By then she was sober and adjusted, hopefully enough so she could fight off her attackers. As she looked, she noticed the face of Lucas. "L-Lucas?" She questioned with a shaky breath. She wouldn't have never suspected him to be behind such a traumatic event. He smirked at her, helping the other guys as they pulled Maya out. "W-what's going on?" she kicked frantically, watching as they brought her into a dark alley.

She screamed, hoping someone, anyone would come out and save her. Though she realized that no one would considering it seemed like the trashier part of town. She swung randomly, hoping to come in contact with one of their faces, but she was still no match for them. Before she could let out another scream, she was thrown onto the the hard ground, causing her to cry out. She trembled, her hold body aching from the impact. One by one, the boys violently stepped on her back, causing her short breaths to be forced out of her. A fistful of her hair was grabbed, her head making contact with the ground. A tearful bloody mess stained the area around her, Maya's mind dazed and throbbing. "Please, I just want this to be over... just kill me already if I deserve all of this." She breathed.

Maya smiled softly as her eyes begin to flutter close. Her ears listened to the laughing of the boys who attacked her, their footsteps as they ran, the shutting of their doors as he sped off down the road. At that moment Maya realized that no one could save her, because for someone to do the saving, you had to learn to save yourself.


Thank you for taking the time the time to read the first chapter of my first fanfiction. First off, I want to warn you this will be a real angsty fanfiction, so if you feel uncomfortable reading some situations that might trigger certain emotions, feel free to skip over that part of just drop the fanfiction. Secondly, if you are a victim of depression, self harm, abuse and other harmful acts that are causing suicidal thoughts, please call 1-800-273-8255. For it would be extremely upsetting to lose a beautiful individual from suicide. Thirdly, I will appreciate any comment dropped off whether positivity, critique, or tips. These comments will really help me improve as a writer and give me the encouragement to keep writing. I look forward to seeing this in your favorites. I hope you look forward to the second chapter~