Disclaimer: I own nothing

"I'm calling a thing."

Olaf's face was set in the way that would mislead anyone who didn't know him into thinking he was actually deep in thought. To those who did know him, however, knew that was not the case and more often then not he was just, in fact, completely stoned. Mike blinked at the bluntness of his grandfather but could only nod. That was the rules of a thing after all. Ty was already waiting in the car when they walked out and with a sort of deadpanned tone he rolled his head on the headrest to look at Mike.

"Any idea what's this thing's about?"

"Not a clue."

Without saying another word, Olaf was switching the car into drive and was pulling out into the street.

Olaf had started the process of using 'things' when they had all been relatively young. It was corny and generic but none of the Johnsons had the heart nor really desire to stop them. Even well into adulthood, despite the odd looks they received in the process of a thing, it was good for them. It had been a place for all of them to go to get things off their chests and to tell the others certain things that in normal instances would have caused question to their masculinity. But nothing was lower than four or five grown men playing mini golf in the middle of the day. Point being, that 'a thing' was a place to de-stress.

But there wasn't any talk until the entire group was together and the first ball had been put into play. So, they could only watch as the suburban Auckland area turned into the city structure and let the nice weather wrap around them through the open windows. They should have known when they pulled up to Anders's apartment that their nice afternoon wasn't going to last. Again Olaf didn't say anything and just walked up to the front door.

"Is he even here? His car wasn't out front." Ty called but followed nevertheless.

"He's here." Olaf said. Mike had learned long ago not to rely too heavily on his grandfather's all knowing yet insanely cryptic ways. Sometimes when Olaf "knew" he was just guessing.

"Are you sure?"

But Olaf just carried on through the building and up to Anders's door. With a knock that seemed oddly like a tentative step of greeting, Olaf waited with Ty and Mike flanking both his sides.

When the door opened letting the owner of the apartment peak out from a crack, both brothers were able to see what had warranted the call for a thing.

"Shit." Ty breathed eyes wide. Mike kept his face flat feeling the familiar tension in his shoulders at the realization that they had a problem that needed to be dealt with now.

"Thanks for that, Ty." Anders quipped. His face made Ty wince with his black eye that made the skin around it swell. The other one didn't look to far off and the rest of his skin was littered with small cuts and bruises. There was a dark hue of colors creating a bridge over his nose connecting both his eyes and his bottom lip was split.

"We're calling a thing." Mike said. Anders looked at him dubiously before shaking his head.

"I'm not going."

"Yes, Anders, you are." Olaf looked ready to carry Anders out to the car over his shoulder but if his face was that bad there was no telling the damage hidden beneath his clothes and Mike was pretty sure that was the only reason they hadn't just ambushed Anders out in the open. It was Olaf showing great self restraint because he had the slight suspicion Olaf liked getting to surprise attack people when a thing was called.

Anders eyebrows rose high at the challenge though. "Oh really?"

"Yes."


"I actually have things I have to do today, you know." Regardless of his bitching, Anders putted the ball. The rest of his family ignored him and took their turns. Mike's fell into the hole on the first try, Ty's got relatively close, and Olaf's was lost somewhere in the bushes after a swing that sent his club sailing and the surfer into a call of victory. "Oh for fuck's sake."

They continued like that for three holes before Mike aligned himself up with his ball and club before sending it straight into the hole.

"So," He said. "How are you?"

"I'm fine." Anders breathed aloofness smearing his tone like the copious amounts of butter Axl put on his toast. It sent the first warning off in Mike's head.

"Your face says differently." Ty easily replied helping Olaf look for his lost ball once again. Anders's lips twitched upward at the corner before he stepped onto the fake green grass to take his turn.

"I think what Ty is trying to say," Olaf called his upper half of his body lost in the bushes as he rustled around. Spotting his ball he snatched it with a triumphant cry. "We're worried."

"Well," There was a pause as Ander's club and ball made a soft click sound when they connected. "Don't be."

"Kind of hard not to be." But Anders just shrugged and held a hand out for Ty to take his turn.

Three more holes went by in silence leaving the other three to plot scenarios in their heads.

Mike stepped up to the line to take his turn. "Whose girlfriend did you sleep with?"

Anders sucked a sharp breath through his teeth as he tilted his head in thought. "Sorry? Which time are you referring too?"

Ty made a disgusted sound from the back of his throat that was quickly silenced by Olaf waving his finger at him. "Thing foul."

But it had already been done and Anders nodded as if expecting as such.

"Right," He said checking his watch without actually looking at the time. "Well as fun as this has been I actually have things to do-."

Olaf's club stopped Anders from leaving though and the Oracle held it out blocking him at the chest. Anders stared down at the club for a moment before turning to glare at his grandfather. But Olaf kept his face the same expression as before that gave the illusion that he knew everything. What a load of shit. When it was clear that Anders wasn't going anywhere Olaf turned to look back at Ty and said,

"Thing foul. You buy first round."

And without another word he moved onto the next hole. The god of all things dark and cold gave a refined eye roll but followed his grandfather without another word. Anders turned to look at Mike expectantly. Surely his brother would want to be here even less so than him. But Mike just shrugged and waited for Anders to move onto the next hole with Olaf who had already lost his ball again. They fell back into silence, Ty losing his patience rather quickly and Mike had to be honest that he couldn't blame him. Anders had always been one of those few that either pissed you off with his constant bitching or silent stubbornness. It certainly wasn't the first time his brother had gone into a sulking fast from his voice. For being the god of talkative fuckers, Anders knew how to pull off a cold shoulder from the best of them.

Anders gave another nudge of his club and the ball barely moved when a thought struck Mike. He had done it before so he know he wasn't just getting bored.

"What's wrong with your shoulder?"

Ty and Olaf were staring too and Anders could only scoff.

"Now you're just being paranoid."

Mike put his club down and went for the back Anders's shirt but his younger brother flinched away.

"Would you just leave it?" Anders's grip on his club was so tight his knuckles were turning white. He looked to Olaf and Ty for help. Olaf stepped forward but instead of giving aid he nodded.

"Anders." Olaf was staring again with his arms crossed over his chest. Anders's irritated point of his eyes was back as he scanned the group for an exit.

"You're really not helping, grandpa."

Anders hissed venom filling the name like it was acid. Mike was aware that they were very close to pushing Anders over the edge, one button push away from mass explosion, but the niggling feeling in his gut didn't care.

"Show him, Anders." Olaf said ignoring the visible betrayal on his grandson's face. Ty moved behind Anders, blocking his only exit, morbidly intrigued by the twist of events. Mike knew this could go one way dangerously out of their favor and just as he was about to prepare to duck from Anders's swinging mini golf club, Anders slipped on a smirk that looked like it was painfully pulling on his split lip. Rolling his eyes he handed his club to Olaf and pulled up the back of his t-shirt with his other arm, Mike noted.

As the fabric slid up his back Mike couldn't help but suck in a breath of pain at the sight. His shoulder was black and blue with bruises in the very distinct shape of the bricks that made up the walls in Anders's apartment.

"What the fuck, Anders?" Ty called loud enough that a parent with their kid from four holes over turned to glare at him. Anders dropped his shirt and playfully winked at them.

"I can't remember which one. It might have been one of those girls from that wine boutique but-"

"What happened, Anders?" Mike asked before Ty could retort. Anders scowled at him skeptically. The wheels were spinning in his head and it was like his thoughts were screaming at them. Mike knew they were standing on unsteady ground but at least Anders wasn't taking a swing at them. Olaf stepped aside, handing Anders's his club and then tossing him his ball. Mike raised a brow at his grandfather, at his face that usually told them he was high, and questioned if maybe Olaf actually knew something they didn't. It either had to be god business or something really obvious because he certainly wasn't seeing it.

Until Anders put his ball back in play.

"The funny thing about having a broken door means that sometimes unwelcomed company can just walk in like it's nothing." Ty looked to Mike confused. But Anders didn't continue and just leaned against the peg of an old fence wrapped in fake veins. Ty stepped forward looking at the others and Olaf remained silent. Putting the ball he pushed his sunglasses further up the bridge of his nose and went to stand next to Olaf. Mike digested Anders's words, struggling to find the meaning of what exactly he was saying, as he nailed a hole in one like normal.

"So you're saying someone did this?"

"Yes," Anders let the word draw out on his tongue. "Generally that's how getting your arse kicked works."

"So, someone was sent to do this to you?"

"I'm not in a gang, Mike," Anders said as if it was the stupidest thing he had ever heard. Mike had to count to ten for his patience to return. Anders turned to look at Olaf trying to decide if his brothers were just idiots or not but his grandfather just met his gaze.

"We can't help you if you don't tell us what happened Anders-" Mike started but Olaf groaned. It had sounded to 'uptight can't be bothered older brother' and Anders just smirked at him.

"Who said I wanted your help? And better yet when did you start to care so much, Mikkel? It's almost cute. Let me just go vomit the cuteness over here and I'll be right back."

"Anders…" Olaf warned shaking his head. The way he said it and the way all three of his grandsons looked at him made him feel so old he was going to have to go drink away the years later. He was just on the edge of drunkness that he was sober and if they were going to get anywhere it had to be there on the mini putt putt grass and away from everything else.

"No," But Anders wasn't finished. "No, I want to know why it's so important for you to know. Are you worried about it being god shit? Because if that's the case then I can just tell you now that you don't have to worry. It was more mortal than Axl's stupid little friend he drags around with him everywhere. So you can piss off now!"

"Oh would you get over your stupid pride and just tell us who you pissed off so much that they had to come to your house and kick the crap out of you?"

If the metaphorical pushing off a cliff were true, which in some instances Olaf had seen, Ty had just done it. Something within Anders snapped and he turned a feral glare onto his brother.

"For fuck's sake! I don't know! Ok?" Anders shouted. The air felt hot and rigid and Olaf could feel the energy electrocuting around them. "All I know is I came home to two guys tearing my place about."

Ty and Mike waited a beat not expecting that answer. It was so human that it couldn't be true. They hadn't had something that human in a long time. It was just too obvious for them to actually comprehend.

"…What?"

"They took everything! They took my car and the smashed my fish tank and -!"

Mike furrowed his brow in confusion. "You were robbed?"

"Jesus—" Anders raised a fist but Olaf stepped in and grabbed the blonde. Tossing the blonde back and then holding a hand out as Anders stalked forward killed the fight before it could happen.

"Ok! Ok! Enough. Major thing foul!" Olaf pointed at Anders. He waited a moment incase Anders furthered his fight but instead the blonde just heaved deep gasps of air as the adrenaline made his cheeks red and his eyes narrowed. "But seeing as how you are currently under a lack of funds we will discuss compensation for it later."

"Why didn't you use your powers?" Ty asked. Anders swung around to glare at him and despite the swollen black eye his eyes were piercing and angry.

"I didn't exactly get the chance too." Ty recoiled under the gaze realizing his mistake. It was the first time in a long time he hadn't been at the end of the foot in mouth joke. The irony would have been funny but Anders's black eye looked worse out in the sun and Ty could only wince. Anders scoffed and picked up his ball before dropping it into the trap at the end. "Take me home. I have shit to do."

Mike sighed but didn't follow. He bounced his ball in his hand, seriously tempted to chuck it across the field, but didn't' and instead just dropped it into the trap.

"I'll fix the door and set up an alarm system tomorrow while he's at work." Ty nodded. "Think you can take care of the fish?"

Again Ty nodded before following after Anders. Mike placed his hands on his hips and glanced at Olaf who still looked innocently oblivious as ever.

"How'd you know?"

"The surf told me." Olaf whistled with a small smile to Mike before he followed after the other two swinging his club wildly around.


Anders slammed the door behind him but the screaming continued. He had learned a long time ago that it was going to keep going for another era so he might as well find some place better to be. But as he stepped off his porch, bag slung over one shoulder, he stopped. His scowl was instantly replaced by a smile that were more constant when he was younger.

"What are you doing here?" He asked.

"Is that anyway to greet your cousin? Come here you!" Olaf, barefoot and still in surfing shorts, replied stepping off his car he had been leaning on and embraced the younger Johnson. The two chuckled in each other's embrace and Olaf smelled like salt water and sand and smoke. It was a comforting combination and along with the hard pounding in his back from his cousin Anders couldn't help but snicker.

"Seriously though. What are you doing here? I thought you were in Australia somewhere."

There was a crash from in the house and both turned. Anders deflated instantly and Olaf frowned at the house. Slapping a hand on Anders's shoulder he pulled another wide grin on his face and made Anders look at him. "I'm here for you. C'mon!"

He jumped into the car and placed his torn cowboy hat on his head with a cheeky smirk. Anders threw his bag into the back and slid into the front seat. They were off and down the street before he could question where they were going. Neither said a word to the other and it didn't take long for Anders to pick up on Olaf's somber mood as he lost himself in thought. He was old enough to know what was happening in the house had followed them into the car.

Dad and Mum would start off on row and then Ty would get involved and then Mike. Soon there'd be a baby screaming too and it was just to the point where he would have to leave to find some place to feel secure enough to think.

"How'd you know?" Anders asked not looking away from the window watching the trees pass by. Olaf hummed to look at his passenger pulling a content smile back onto his face.

"The surf told me." Olaf said with a whimsical sort of tone that sent Anders into another eye roll. Olaf smiled at the road. None of his grandsons knew how true he rang though. Like the waves of the ocean he returned each day looking the same but in reality just slightly different. And if they was anything Olaf did know, it was his grandsons.

"Where are we going?"

"A thing."

A/n: And because being the good college student that I am, Axl misses out on the thing... because he's in class. So at least his professors don't think he died or something.