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Dead. All of them dead. Lucy tried to make me come with them, but I couldn't. I didn't fit in with our family. We were all so…different. Lucy never could understand; she was always favored. Even by As- No! He and everything else was a dream. A sweet, sweet dream. The pastor spoke of how they were in a better place, with no more tears of pain, no suffering. Then he began to read what Peter had wanted read at his funeral. He said that as soon as we got back from Caspian. I felt a slight smile creep onto my lips, but then it quickly turned into a frown. "It's a funeral Susan! You shouldn't be smiling." I chided myself. I began to listen to the Bible verses. Romans 6: 3-9. 3 Do you not know that all of us who have been baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? 4 We were buried therefore with him by baptism into death, so that as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, we too might walk in newness of life. 5 For if we have been united with him in a death like his, we shall certainly be united with him in a resurrection like his. 6 We know that our old self was crucified with him so that the sinful body might be destroyed, and we might no longer be enslaved to sin. 7 For he who has died is freed from sin. 8 But if we have died with Christ, we believe that we shall also live with him. 9 For we know that Christ being raised from the dead will never die again; death no longer has dominion over him.

I remember when Lucy was 4 and our grandfather died. Everybody was crying except her. She was smiling and giggling. When the family asked her after the funeral why she was doing that, she answered with wisdom beyond her years: "Why cry for him if he's in a gooder place? Shouldn't we all be happy for him and remember the good times?" She then walked up to me, grabbed my hand and said "Let's go play dollies!"

I felt a sob come up but I swallowed it down. Edmund's verses came up: Romans 8: 31-39.

31 What then shall we say to this? If God is for us, who is against us? 32 He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, will he not also give us all things with him? 33 Who shall bring any charge against God's elect? It is God who justifies; 34 who is to condemn? Is it Christ Jesus, who died, yes, who was raised from the dead, who is at the right hand of God, who indeed intercedes for us? 35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? 36 As it is written, "For thy sake we are being killed all the day long; we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered." 37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38 For I am sure that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, 39 nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

I suddenly remembered one day at Narnia, a man & his bandits killed an entire village. He and his men were sentenced to death, when on the day of their execution, one of the murderers said he saw a lion and realized he was wrong, and he was glad for this punishment for it meant he'd be with his Father. Edmund smiled and set him free, giving him a job as a garden keeper at the palace. I was so proud of my brother that day. It was 5 days before we left Narnia for the first time. Lucy's verses came last. I think hers was the longest because they were multiple verses. 2 Corinthians 5:11 For we know that if the earthly tent we live in is destroyed, we have a building from God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens. Then 1 John 3:1-2 1 That which was from the beginning, which we have heard, which we have seen with our eyes, which we have looked upon and touched with our hands, concerning the word of life- 2 the life was made manifest, and we saw it, and testify to it, and proclaim to you the eternal life which was with the Father and was made manifest to us— the last one that was read was Psalm 25. It impacted me greatly. 1 To You, O LORD, I lift up my soul.
2 O my God, I trust in You; Let me not be ashamed. Let not my enemies triumph over me.
3 Indeed, let no one who waits on You be ashamed;
Let those be ashamed who deal treacherously without cause.
4 Show me Your ways, O LORD;
Teach me Your paths.
5 Lead me in Your truth and teach me,
For You are the God of my salvation;
On You I wait all the day.
6 Remember, O LORD, Your tender mercies and Your loving kindnesses,
For they are from of old.
7 Do not remember the sins of my youth, nor my transgressions;
According to Your mercy remember me,
For Your goodness' sake, O LORD.
8 Good and upright is the LORD;
Therefore He teaches sinners in the way.
9 The humble He guides in justice,
And the humble He teaches His way.
10 All the paths of the LORD are mercy and truth,
To such as keep His covenant and His testimonies.
11 For Your name's sake, O LORD,
Pardon my iniquity, for it is great.
12 Who is the man that fears the LORD?
Him shall He[a] teach in the way He[b] chooses.
13 He himself shall dwell in prosperity,
And his descendants shall inherit the earth.
14 The secret of the LORD is with those who fear Him,
And He will show them His covenant.
15 My eyes are ever toward the LORD,
For He shall pluck my feet out of the net.
16 Turn Yourself to me, and have mercy on me,
For I am desolate and afflicted.
17 The troubles of my heart have enlarged;
Bring me out of my distresses!
18 Look on my affliction and my pain,
And forgive all my sins.19 Consider my enemies, for they are many;
And they hate me with cruel hatred.
20 Keep my soul, and deliver me;
Let me not be ashamed, for I put my trust in You.
21 Let integrity and uprightness preserve me,
For I wait for You.
22 Redeem Israel, O God,
Out of all their troubles!

It seemed that Psalm was to me, and I mourned. I mourned over the faces I'd never see again: My parents, siblings, cousin, my friends. My people. 'Dear God, please forgive me.'

The funeral was over and as I was driving home, a car full of drunk children drove by. I tried to tell them they should sleep it off when they held, "You know what? I think we will." And they drove their car right into mine.

I woke up in the most comfortable bed I've ever been in. I heard a giggle I could always recognize. I shot up like a bullet and looked around. "Lucy?" I see her peeking in the room then fleeing gleefully. "Wait!" I get up and chase after, pondering only for a fraction of a second how I could possibly go this fast. She ran up a waterfall and somehow, miraculously, I could do the same. With my dress and everything wet, I'd expect myself to slow down but I didn't. She continued to runaway and I continued to chase after her. I followed her into Professor Kirke's old house. 'Didn't this get knocked down?' I followed her upstairs and then I couldn't find her. I looked around, called her name then I heard her laugh and run then a door slam. I opened all the doors, but there was nothing there. Then I opened the wardrobe in the spareroom, but no one fell out and into my arms. I entered it then closed the door, but there was no magical wood. My face fell and when I exited the wardrobe, I was bombarded with hugs and kisses from all my loved ones who passed away. "But how is this possible?" the tears of joy streaming down my face and dripping on the ground. "You're all dead!" Mum wiped my tears away and took my hand and led me to Aslan. "He'll explain everything." She then left me alone with Him. I felt myself begin to quake with fear as I realized He held my fate in His hands. "My child, you are forgiven." His eyes held nothing but joy in finding His lost child and He kissed both my cheeks and told me to find my family. And for once, I followed His way.

THE END