Disclaimer: I don't own Glee.


I'm Really Not Okay

"Blaine," the voice at first sounds small and hesitant, then with the next words so full of pain, "I didn't mean to do it, I swear I didn't mean to."

Blaine had heard the clattering sound coming from the kitchen a moment earlier but not thought much more of it other than 'I have never seen Kurt drop anything in all the time I've known him'.

At Kurt's words looking up from where Blaine is sitting on the couch, now no longer reading, Kurt's eyes are what Blaine finds first.

What he does not understand is the pain he finds in them.

Just minutes ago, before Kurt had gone into the kitchen to get them both some water, Blaine already settling himself on the couch, pulling one of his favorite books from his bag – his favorite because he loves reading it out loud to Kurt, loves how Kurt loves listening to him read it – they both had been fine, smiling, laughing.

The expression on the boy now standing before him radiates pain.

Blaine is instantly on his feet. As he makes to walk the few steps over to where Kurt is standing just outside the kitchen his look turns into one of question.

Kurt, who had held his gaze firmly so far now frantically tries to shut his pain away, out of Blaine's reach, pressing his eyelids firmly shut, his whole face contorting into a mask of pain and 'Fear?'

Blaine wishes for nothing more than the ability to make sense of this expression, to know what brought this on, to know what Kurt needs to make it better.

So Blaine reaches out to gently take Kurt's left hand.

He feels the hot sticky substance it is covered in before he sees it, them.

The lines gravity has drawn with the liquid running along the inner side of Kurt's arm cannot be missed, hot red on pale skin.

"I didn't mean to do it Blaine I swear I didn't mean to do it!" Kurt's eyes when he finds them again are pleading; now overtaken by fear, the pain still dully pressing, pressuring from behind to keep its part in all of this known.

Kurt expects Blaine to pull away, to let go, right in the moment he hears Blaine's gasp and feels Blaine's touch growing lighter on his hand. Expects Blaine to be as disgusted by Kurt as he himself feels.

He is not prepared for Blaine pulling him closer, into a deep desperate embrace, "Blaine, you are getting blood all over your clothes."

"I don't care about that. I care about you."

"I didn't mean to do it, I swear, I didn't Blaine. I didn't," Kurt keeps saying the words over and over, as if to fill spaces, thoughts; as to leave no room for any other possible thought that might come to either of them.