I've read SO many hilarious commentaries on this...thing, that I decided to do my own! Be prepared to lose a few brain cells along the course of this story. I don't own Starkit's Prophecy, nor would want to. All my comments are in italics and bolded.
ALLIANCES ( This isn't how Allegiances is spelled, though it's probably a common mistake. )
ok so like i said this iks my first story be nice plz ( *snorts* That won't happen )
btw ( Looks like we've already got some text-speak in here already!) its set afte rsunset so ( Got the wrong book there miss...plus I don't think sunset is spelled that way )
ThunderClan
Leader: Firestar - ginger tom with a flame-colored pelt
Deputy: Brambleclaw - dark brown tabby tom with amber eyes
Medicine Cat: JayFeather-gray tom
Warriors:
Squirrelflight - dark ginger she-cat with green eyes ( Interesting...she's a senior warrior )
Apprentice, Foxpaw
Dustpelt - dark brown tabby tom
Sandstorm - pale ginger she-cat
Cloudtail - long-haired white tom
Apprentice DaisyPaw - cream long-furred cat from the horseplace ( Just...what? )
Brackenfur - golden brown tabby tom
Sorreltail - tortoiseshell-and-white she-cat with amber eyes
Thornclaw - golden brown tabby tom
Brightheart - white she-cat with ginger patches
Spiderleg - long-limbed black tom with brown underbelly and amber eyes
Whitewing - white she-cat with green eyes
Apprentice, Icepaw
Birchfall - light brown tabby tom
Graystripe - long-haired gray tom
Berrynose - cream-colored tom
Hazeltail - small gray-and-white she-cat
Mousewhisker - gray-and-white tom
Cinderheart - gray tabby she-cat
Poppyfrost - tortoiseshell she-cat
Honeyfern- light brown tabby she-cat
Lionblaze - golden tabby tom
Hollyleaf - black she-cat
FoxHeart-reddish tabby tom (Weren't both Foxheart and Icefire apprentices a few lines before this? )
IceFire-white she cat
ToadRibbit-blackāand-white tom ( Wow, that's certintently some impress naming skill there! *heavy sarcasm* )
RoseFlame-dark cream she cat
BriarStorm-dark brown she cat ( I thought she couldn't walk, and had a different name. Amazing attention to the Warrior's series there! )
BumbleFlower-very pale gray tom with black stripes ( VERY manly name there )
BlossomWind-pale brown she cat iwth a dark stripe along her spine ( Nice name, but not correct )
Apprentices:
Fox DaisyPaw - cream long-furred cat from the horseplace ( What's up with this name? We've got two cats melded into one! )
FlamePaw-firecolored she cat with one grnee eye one blue eye
LakePaw-bright blue gray she cat with blue eyes
The last 2 r starKits sisters ( Then why were they made apprentices before her? Maybe it was because Starkit would've gotten killed when she was out getting moss if she had become an apprentice at the same time as them! Although I'd be all in favor of that. )
Edited Out: siters ( Wow, she was that much trouble?)
JazzPaw-red she cat with blue eyes and a black tail ( How do they know what jazz IS? )
Queens:
Ferncloud - pale gray (with darker flecks) she-cat with green eyes mother of Dustpelts kits ( Who ARE...? )
Dawnsparkle-bright tortishell she cat with garguntan blue eye's ( Um...does that mean her eyes take up her whole face, or what? ) mother of Jayfeathers' ktis, formaly of Shadowclan ( Why did she leave? AND THAT'S A FORBIDDEN RELATIONSHIP RIGHT THERE FOLKS! BREAKING TWO RULES OF THE WARRIOR CODE! )
Kits:
StarKit-graysh-blue-and purple she cat with molting orange eyes ( Scary ) and a white star on her forhaed
Elders:
Longtail - pale tabby tom with dark black stripes, retired early due to failing sight
Mousefur - small dusky brown she-cat
Weaslepelt-big red tabby he cat with bight yellow eyes (hes Rowanclaw's dad, he came to Thunderclan when Dawn- did0 ( Why did he come also? )
LeafPool-brown tabby she cat ( Since when did she become an elder? Leafpool isn't that old! )
ShadowClan
Leader: Blackstar - large white tom with huge jet-black paws
Deputy: Russetfur - dark ginger she-cat
Medicine Cat: Littlecloud - very small tabby tom
Apprentice, Flamepaw (ginger tom)
Warriors:
Oakfur - small brown tom
Apprentice, Tigerpaw (dark brown tabby tom)
Rowanclaw - ginger tom
Smokefoot - black tom
Apprentice, Owlpaw (light brown tabby tom)
Ivytail - black, white and tortoiseshell she-cat
Apprentice, Dawnpaw (cream-furred she-cat)
Toadfoot - dark brown tom
Crowfrost - black-and-white tom
Apprentice, Olivepaw (tortoiseshell she-cat)
Kinkfur - tabby she-cat, with long fur that sticks out at all angles
Ratscar - brown tom with long scar across his back
Apprentice, Shrewpaw (gray she-cat with black feet)
Snaketail - dark brown tabby tom with striped tail
Apprentice, Scorchpaw (dark gray tom)
Whitewater - white she-cat with long fur, blind in one eye
Apprentice, Redpaw (mottled brown and ginger tom)
Tawnypelt - tortoiseshell she-cat with green eyes
Flamewind- flame color tabby tom with green eye's
Tigerclaw-huge dark brown tabby tom with long claw's and amber eys
DawnFeather-cream tabby she cat (shes a different cant then the one in tC ok?) ( Okay... )
OlivePaw-bright brown she cat ( How can a cat be BRIGHT BROWN? )
Queens:
Snowbird - pure white she-cat
Elders:
Cedarheart - dark gray tom
Tallpoppy - long-legged light brown she-cat
WindClan
Leader: Onestar - brown tabby tom
Deputy: Ashfoot - gray she-cat
Medicine Cat: Barkface - short-tailed brown tom
Apprentice, Kestrelpaw (mottled gray tom)
Warriors:
Tornear - tabby tom
Crowfeather - dark gray tom
Owlwhisker - light brown tabby tom
Whitetail - small white she-cat
Nightcloud - black she-cat
Gorsetail - very pale gray-and-white cat with blue eyes
Weaselfur - ginger tom with white paws
Harespring - brown-and-white tom
Leaftail - dark tabby tom, amber eyes
Apprentice, Thistlepaw (long-haired white tom)
Dewspots - spotted gray she-cat
Apprentice, Sedgepaw (light brown tabby she-cat)
Willowclaw - gray she-cat
Apprentice, Swallowpaw (dark gray she-cat)
Antpelt - brown tom with one black ear
Emberfoot - gray tom with two dark paws
Apprentice, Sunpaw (tortoiseshell she-cat with large white mark on her forehead)
Heathertail - light brown tabby she-cat with blue eyes
Breezepelt - black tom with amber eyes
Elders:
Morningflower - very old tortoiseshell queen
Webfoot - dark gray tabby tom
RiverClan
Leader: Leopardstar - unusually spotted golden tabby she-cat
Deputy: Mistyfoot - gray she-cat with blue eyes
Medicine Cat: Mothwing - dappled golden she-cat
Apprentice, Willowshine (gray tabby she-cat)
Warriors:
Blackclaw - smoky-black tom
Voletooth - small brown tabby tom
Apprentice, Minnowpaw (dark gray she-cat)
Reedwhisker - black tom
Mosspelt - tortoiseshell she-cat with blue eyes
Apprentice, Pebblepaw (mottled gray tom)
Beechfur - light brown tom
Rippletail - dark gray tabby tom
Apprentice, Mallowpaw (light brown tabby tom)
Graymist - pale gray tabby
Dawnflower - pale gray she-cat
Dapplenose - mottled gray she-cat
Pouncetail - ginger-and-white tom
Mintfur - light gray tabby tom
Apprentice, Nettlepaw (dark brown tabby tom)
Otterheart - dark brown she-cat
Apprentice, Sneezepaw (gray-and-white tom) ( Everyone else must be so jealous of his name! )
Pinefur - very short-haired tabby she-cat
Apprentice, Robinpaw (tortoiseshell-and-white tom)
Rainstorm - mottled gray-blue tom
Duskfur - brown tabby she-cat
Apprentice, Copperpaw (dark ginger she-cat)
Queens:
Icewing - white cat with green eyes, mother of Beetlekit, Pricklekit, Petalkit, and Grasskit
Elders:
Heavystep - thickset tabby tom
Swallowtail - dark tabby she-cat
Stonestream - gray tom ( Seems like quite a few had a description like this. )
We've gotten past the Allegiances! Time for the first real chapter of this thing. Hope you didn't lose any brain cells reading this list of allegiances.
Au revoir, mes amis!
