Confessing
I was always a bit fuzzy about this whole confession thing. You know, the whole blurting out your feelings to that person you wanted to be your significant other. I read about it in manga, saw it in anime, and it was impossible to miss in any tv drama worth its salt. Confessions were all over the place and the practice was used by all ages of both genders for all sorts of relationships.
For this reason, I felt that a confession had no meaning whatsoever. How can I express anything real in a form so overused and generic? Hell, there was even a formulaic breakdown in any one of the date magazines Tomoka liked to read. So, the idea that such a form of expression could give any inkling to the sincere wishes and feelings of my own honest heart was simply laughable. I always thought actions spoke louder than words anyway.
It wasn't until my first year in middle school that I started to understand why so many people resorted to a love confession and I began to like confessions instead of looking down on the stereotypical showcase of one's unique emotions. You see, besides telling all about how you're in love with someone, there's something that can be added on to a confession.
"Please accept my feelings."
There's the clincher, for me at least. While that phrase too in unquestionable banal, the idea behind it touches me. This phrase says, "please don't ignore me." Please understand where I'm coming from. Please see me. Please look at me. All of me. This part, the part of me that loves you, exists as well. Love me, reject me, just please don't ignore me.
Don't pretend I don't want to stand by your side when we both know I desprately do.
For confessions, the whole putting yourself out there and showing bravery and courage by exposing yourself to possible rejection part of a confession never really impressed me. People do that a thousand times a day in a million different ways without uttering a single "I love you." It's that phrase that more often than not is forgotten in the stuttering nervousness of the actual love confession. That's what impresses me. How so much hope and so much yearning and so much confrontation and so many shining sentiments can be rolled into so few, trite words will never stop amazing me. So much is said in those words that I couldn't even comprehend it until I was there. Until it was me feeling those feelings and me wishing those wishes. Until I met a boy who captured all my attention and denied me any of his.
Author Note:
For those of you who think that this story is perfect the way it is, please click on the review button (or just hit the back button and find another fic to read). All others, please proceed to the next chapter in a calm and orderly fashion.
