The ship is dark, the only sound filling the background the melodic clash of the water against the ship. Zuko lays awake, staring at the ceiling, much like his days on a ship much smaller than this, when his days and nights were consumed with thoughts of finding the Avatar.

But now the Avatar was dead.

Azula had done what he had never even considered—she had killed the Avatar. The image of the young boy falling from the air is embedded on his mind.

But the Avatar might not be dead.

The thought of Aang dead is prevalent in his thoughts, but not as much as her. Zuko touches his face, where her fingers had been, still feeling her soft, warm touch. What would have happened if Uncle and the Avatar had showed up minutes later? What would he look like right now if she had used that spirit water on him? What if she had used the spirit water on Aang, and saved his life, after all?

Zuko rolls on his side and stares at the wall, which glints off the light of the moon from his open window. He feels so confused, multiple trains of thought at war in his mind, and can only find solace in the understanding look in her eyes. He feels guilt—but he won't admit it, not even to himself. She had trusted him, and he'll never forget the look of betrayal and disappointment in her eyes when he made his choice. Zuko squeezes his eyes shut and rolls onto his other side, but the thought doesn't go away.

The Fire Nation took my mother away me.

And now he was part of the Fire Nation she had been talking about. He was the face of the enemy. Azula was happy, Mai was happy, and perhaps even his father might be happy, but Zuko couldn't find any happiness within him. He thought of his uncle, of Aang, of her.

You have no idea what this war has put me through, me, personally!

The Fire Nation took my mother away from me.

"I'm sorry, Katara," he whispers.

He rolls back onto his back and presses the heels of his hands to his eyes.

I thought you had changed.

Zuko slams his fists to the sides of his bed and stares at the ceiling again, much like his days on a ship much smaller than this, when his days and nights were consumed with thoughts of finding the Avatar.

I have changed.


A/N: I wrote this pretty fast, and though there's some things that I wish I'd written differently I'm happy with the way it came out. I always thought that Zuko felt a lot of guilt for betraying Katara in Ba Sing Se and it's one of the reasons he wants so badly for her to accept him when he joins the Gaang after The Day of Black Sun.