Note: This is only funny if you've seen the movie. I do not reccomend it though; never seen the original, but the Nicoals Cage one was just... no.
One day, on a quiet, peaceful road, a car was making its way down the road when someone threw the script for the movie out the window. Luckily, Deputy Dipshit had been following the car, and leaned down from his motorcycle, increasing speed as he grabbed it, getting up to the car and pulling it over. He handed it back to the little girl inside, but she threw it back out. Sighing, he went over and picked it back up. Just as he handed it back, a large truck smashed into the car, exploding and knocking Dipshit back.
He ran up to the car to find the girl still alive, not a scrape on her. Quickly, he smashed the window and yelled for her to hand him the script. She was about to hand him it when the car's interior suddenly erupted in a fireball, killing the girl. Deputy Dipshit tried his best to be a good actor as he screamed "Nooooooooooo!"
8 MONTHS LATER
The movie is on halt and Deputy Dipshit has been put into stasis. But it was time for him to be freed. Jennifer Lopes walked in and opened the cylinder where he was being kept, as he fell to the ground, panting for air. Helping him up, she told him:
"You must save this movie. The script is gone, and now it's a big imrpovised clusterfuck mess. Save us, Deputy Dipshit!"
With that she opened a portal with her vagina, jumping into it, never to be seen again because every scene she's on screen there's an awkward silence as this bitch never knows what to do because she spent her time picking flowers like a dumbass instead of leveling up her soical skills level. Nick ran outside, and saw a big, bleeding, human size bag being help by troll ladies who spoke in unison. Seeing nothing wrong with that, he continued into the forest.
He saw a woman peacefully riding a bike and causing no issues at all. Clearly, this is terrible! Deputy Dipshit must stop her! Pulling out his noscope machine, he shot her head off, the blood spurting out the top and it tasted just like raisins. Getting on the bike, he said the secret password, "unga bunga", and it turned into The Delorian. He zoomed ahead at 87 mph, careful to not go 88. He reached "The Troll Twins' Freakshow". He thought it was a good idea to run into it, where he met room after room of Charlie Sheen, he arch enemy. Then he saw a field of bees and because he was drunk from his own piss he ran through it as well, being sure to take a selfie along the way.
Escaping them, he pulled a flamethrower he had been hiding up his arse and burned all the bees dead, and then he leveled up. Getting the black widow perk, he continued until he found a Freddy costume. Joining the FNAF parade, he saw someone about to sacrafice Stephen Hawkings. He couldn't let this happen, so very awkwardly, he ran forewards and smacked that bitch in the face! Then he leveled up and got the canibal perk, eating her face.
Then he grabbed Stephen Hawking's wheelchair. "Let's go, Stephen." With that, thrusters shot out the back, as they flew away into the horizion. Then he realized: he was supposed to save the movie. He had accidentally made it even more awkard.
Oh well. His punishments were comical and strange flashbacks to trucks hitting midget people.
THE END!
