Disclaimer: All characters, places, text, etc. belongs to Tolkien
Enterprises and/or New Line Cinema. Original material was created by me.
*~ The Setup ~*
AUTHOR: I am so sick of seeing stories (usually Mary Sues) that have the Council of Elrond from the movie! So using my prerogative as all-powerful author, I am going to drop a typical fanfic author into the scene.
GIRL: This will be so much fun! You know, I have the whole movie memorized.
AUTHOR: Good for you. Now are you ready?
GIRL: First I need a beautiful dress. And I want to be an elf, pointy ears and everything. And I want gorgeous long hair.
AUTHOR: Fine. Anything else?
GIRL: I need a name, too. But I can pick that myself. I'll be called . . . Ataniawen.
AUTHOR: *snort*
AUTHOR: I've also given Ataniawen the ability to understand all the languages that will be spoken. And I've cast a special aura around her, so the other characters will not be suspicious of her or get impatient with her.
*~ The Scene ~*
Ataniawen approached Rivendell with the confidence of all fanfic writers. She was beautiful. And she knew all there was to know about what was going to happen. After all, she had seen the movies countless times.
An elf approached Ataniawen. He had dark hair and grey eyes. He looked quite young but his eyes showed deep wisdom and age.
"Welcome to Imladris," said the elf. "I have been expecting you. I am Elrond."
"I'm Ataniawen," said Ataniawen.
Elrond gave her a strange, intense look of mingled confusion and annoyance, but as the aura began working, the expression faded from his face. He escorted Ataniawen inside and, as a special favor to the visitor, let her ring the warning bell for the Council of Elrond.
"There's a bell?" Ataniawen wondered to herself.
Ataniawen followed Elrond to the place where the council would be held. She found herself in a beautiful porch surrounded by the sounds of birds and the river.
Many elves and others were milling around, waiting for all to be assembled so the council could begin. Ataniawen saw a dark-haired elf she supposed to be Figwit. Emboldened, she walked over to talk to him.
"I am Ataniawen," she said.
The elf looked startled, and a flicker of amusement passed over his face.
"Are you Figwit?" she asked.
"I know none of that name," the elf replied. "I am Erestor."
"Erestor? Who's that?" said Ataniawen.
Erestor had no time to respond, for the council was about to begin. Ataniawen, glad to be relieved of the awkward situation, hastened to find her seat. With the amazing fortune of all fanfic writers, she found the perfect seat: between a dark-haired man and a blond elf, who could only be Aragorn and Legolas.
*~ Interlude ~*
AUTHOR: I'm pulling you out of the story just to see how you're doing.
ATANIAWEN: I'm fine.
AUTHOR: You didn't do too badly. But I couldn't help laughing when you asked Erestor whether he was Figwit.
ATANIAWEN: Where is Figwit?
AUTHOR: There is no "Figwit" in Lord of the Rings. That's a movie-only character. He was even named by the fans.
ATANIAWEN: And who's this Erestor?
AUTHOR: Haven't you read the book?
ATANIAWEN: Yeah! Of course I have!
AUTHOR: Right. Well, it's time for you to go back now. You have a ways to go. The council hasn't even started yet.
ATANIAWEN: Wait! I have one more question before I go back. Why does everyone look at me strangely when I tell them my name?
AUTHOR: *giggles* I don't know where you got your name from. But as near as I can tell, the closest translation of your name would be "man maiden." It's not exactly a good name, but it's too late to change it now.
*~ The Setup ~*
AUTHOR: I am so sick of seeing stories (usually Mary Sues) that have the Council of Elrond from the movie! So using my prerogative as all-powerful author, I am going to drop a typical fanfic author into the scene.
GIRL: This will be so much fun! You know, I have the whole movie memorized.
AUTHOR: Good for you. Now are you ready?
GIRL: First I need a beautiful dress. And I want to be an elf, pointy ears and everything. And I want gorgeous long hair.
AUTHOR: Fine. Anything else?
GIRL: I need a name, too. But I can pick that myself. I'll be called . . . Ataniawen.
AUTHOR: *snort*
AUTHOR: I've also given Ataniawen the ability to understand all the languages that will be spoken. And I've cast a special aura around her, so the other characters will not be suspicious of her or get impatient with her.
*~ The Scene ~*
Ataniawen approached Rivendell with the confidence of all fanfic writers. She was beautiful. And she knew all there was to know about what was going to happen. After all, she had seen the movies countless times.
An elf approached Ataniawen. He had dark hair and grey eyes. He looked quite young but his eyes showed deep wisdom and age.
"Welcome to Imladris," said the elf. "I have been expecting you. I am Elrond."
"I'm Ataniawen," said Ataniawen.
Elrond gave her a strange, intense look of mingled confusion and annoyance, but as the aura began working, the expression faded from his face. He escorted Ataniawen inside and, as a special favor to the visitor, let her ring the warning bell for the Council of Elrond.
"There's a bell?" Ataniawen wondered to herself.
Ataniawen followed Elrond to the place where the council would be held. She found herself in a beautiful porch surrounded by the sounds of birds and the river.
Many elves and others were milling around, waiting for all to be assembled so the council could begin. Ataniawen saw a dark-haired elf she supposed to be Figwit. Emboldened, she walked over to talk to him.
"I am Ataniawen," she said.
The elf looked startled, and a flicker of amusement passed over his face.
"Are you Figwit?" she asked.
"I know none of that name," the elf replied. "I am Erestor."
"Erestor? Who's that?" said Ataniawen.
Erestor had no time to respond, for the council was about to begin. Ataniawen, glad to be relieved of the awkward situation, hastened to find her seat. With the amazing fortune of all fanfic writers, she found the perfect seat: between a dark-haired man and a blond elf, who could only be Aragorn and Legolas.
*~ Interlude ~*
AUTHOR: I'm pulling you out of the story just to see how you're doing.
ATANIAWEN: I'm fine.
AUTHOR: You didn't do too badly. But I couldn't help laughing when you asked Erestor whether he was Figwit.
ATANIAWEN: Where is Figwit?
AUTHOR: There is no "Figwit" in Lord of the Rings. That's a movie-only character. He was even named by the fans.
ATANIAWEN: And who's this Erestor?
AUTHOR: Haven't you read the book?
ATANIAWEN: Yeah! Of course I have!
AUTHOR: Right. Well, it's time for you to go back now. You have a ways to go. The council hasn't even started yet.
ATANIAWEN: Wait! I have one more question before I go back. Why does everyone look at me strangely when I tell them my name?
AUTHOR: *giggles* I don't know where you got your name from. But as near as I can tell, the closest translation of your name would be "man maiden." It's not exactly a good name, but it's too late to change it now.
