Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters from Final Fantasy VIII, they are the sole property of Squaresoft, but I do own all of the lil plastic characters with which I act out some of the more "interesting" scenes that I write. I know I know…Sicko!
In Search of Redemption
(Chapter One)
Memories of the Past
(Squall)
He stood on the balcony again; watching the stars, remembering how he had tried so hard to be the man that she'd wanted him to be. Too often he'd gone out there to try to recapture exactly what it had felt like to stand there with her, but, in the end, he always ended up thinking about what went wrong. How she'd just sighed one day, and said she was tired of playing guessing games with him. He could have told her that he knew how she was feeling. He could have even told her that he was sorry. But, what came out of his mouth instead had been…"Whatever."
The look in her eyes at that moment had been one of pure shock, and, within the week, she'd packed her things and left. He still didn't understand why he'd said that, or why he had never apologized for it later. Of course, that wasn't unusual: he'd never known how to deal with others. That was the way it'd always been. After all, what use was it to try and understand things that would only hurt him in the end?
Sighing heavily, he raked a hand through his hair and left the balcony. Thinking about Rinoa only made him feel worse; it was just another failure to add to his collection.
'If Seifer were here, he'd never let me live it down.' The thought of Seifer made him feel uncomfortable - both angry and nostalgic simultaneously - and caused a bitter smile to quirk his lips. He could almost hear his rival's voice, "Damn, Squall and I thought that I was the asshole, here!"
Confused by his conflicting emotions, he shook his head, a frown quickly replacing the rare smile. For a moment he'd…almost missed Seifer's presence.
Shaking his head again, he decided that what he needed was a good workout to clear his mind. Alone, he made his way through the silent Garden halls, headed for the Training Center. His footsteps echoing off the walls were an oddly comforting sound.
'I like it when it's this way.'
No bubbly Selphie trying to cheer him up and draw him out with her cutesy girlish drivel.
No hyper active Zell who never stopped talking unless there was a plate full of hotdogs in front of him.
No holier-than-thou Quistis trying to analyze him with her, seemingly endless, strings of psychobabble.
No hormone-driven Irvine espousing the ample virtues of every female student at Garden.
No social butterfly Rinoa trying to drag him to some social function, denying him his precious solitude.
No clumsy Laguna endlessly apologizing for his seventeen-year absence and sudden reappearance.
No selfish Headmaster Cid trying to get him to take over his job.
No guilt-ridden Matron seeking to make amends for events beyond her control.
And, best of all, no arrogant Seifer trying to make his life a living hell.
Punching in the code for the Training Center, he made his way inside. Yet, even as he slashed through the endless stream of Grats in his path, his thoughts remained with Seifer.
Although it was good not to have Seifer tormenting him, he couldn't help but miss the challenge that his rival had presented. The only other gunblader in Balamb Garden, Seifer had been the yardstick by which he had measured his progress. Now that Seifer was gone, he no longer had a worthy sparring partner.
With that thought, he decided to call it a night, despite the fact that he'd barely even worked up a sweat. For that, he would have to kill every monster in the Training Center, something that he had sworn that he'd never do again, having had his privileges taken away for a month, and been forced to replace the monsters from the wild, the last time.
He exited the Training Center and walked slowly through the empty halls, listening contentedly to their lonely echo.
Suddenly, he froze dead in his tracks, the hairs on the back of his neck rising and perspiration gathering on his forehead. The feeling of being watched was unmistakable. Slowly, he turned around; scanning every doorway and fleeting shadow for the source of his discomfort. However, seeing nothing out of the ordinary, he resumed his way back to his dorm room.
'I'm losing it.'
(End chapter one)
A/N: Okay the first of a many chapter story; hope you liked it so far… Praise will be shouted from the rooftops! Flames will just be shouted at!
