Disclaimer: Same old song, same old dance. Ignorant folks fail, fat old chance.
…
Black and White and Gray
Hi, Drana speaking here. Just saying hello. I can do that, right? Hello!
I really don't have much to say here, actually. I did but... time will change that.
Time will change things. Funny, isn't it?
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Prologue: One Day
My garden was small. But it surely flourished, not too fast, not too slow. Just right. Most of the blossoms had grown up yellow with the occasional red, white or pink thrown in for good measure. Some were tall, others were short. The variety, the vividness. I liked being proud of my budding success, my dream of growing the biggest and best flower garden ever; though I didn't neglect to keep a vegetable patch on the side.
We lived apart from general civilization.
Because of the distance, where trying to get such bare necessities was more often a hassle than not— due to our unfortunate, as I saw it, circumstances of living— I wanted to make sure we were ready for this sort of solitary life, whatever making sure meant for me. A vegetable patch had been the only thing I could think of. Thus, I grew the plants. Sephiroth hunted the meat, although he ate it more than I ever would, that being a 'manly' thing to do. When we actually traveled to town for essentials that even the land couldn't directly give us, we had to be swift and silent in our excursions. As swift and silent as humanly possible. My companion— I used that term loosely— thought it was genius to keep me like some super secret thing, sometimes even dressing me in cloaks for public outings.
I always considered his precaution going a bit overboard, but he'd always explain it to me. Like so:
"One man's treasure... may also be another man's treasure. Do no t forget what you are. If others figured out your existence, you would be the perfect tool to their own greedy ends."
"Kind of like you" tended to be my automatic reply. In return, he'd give me one of his catlike stares of death trained to subdue what he called insolence. And even after all the time we'd been together, it still made me cringe.
Nowadays, Sephiroth's ocean green eyes appeared human more often than their inhuman counterparts. He didn't seem as angry at humankind, he didn't seem as anti-social. The man even smiled on certain special occasions, despite whatever his underlying reasons at the time. When he did, though, I felt like my time wasn't a total waste. He was actually growing for the better.
I was proud of him and proud for myself. This was a feat, a major feat, and no matter how hard Sephiroth would glare at me, I thought I had a right to exaggerate my pride.
Aerith agreed.
Lucrecia demurred.
Nameless, indistinguishable faces flickered compliance.
This last year and some odd months had not been a waste.
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As I tended to my flowers, I found myself daydreaming of nothings in particular. There was just a shapeless blob of sentiment, but it was colorful, cool, and soothing so I didn't mind. It felt good. Meanwhile, my body moved to the goal of preening the new growth and my mind pandered to the happy, blobby nothing.
I'd been trying to grow additional beds to the original. It was a fairly slow task, but hardly daunting. It felt like a birthright of mine, so I moved well in accordance to everything that needed doing. Tilling the soil, pulling weeds, trimming, watering, seeding. It was all just another part of life for me and I didn't want or need it any other way.
A shadow passed briefly over me. I wouldn't have noticed if I didn't hear the sound of footsteps.
"Drana."
"Mm," I hummed, slipping from my crouch to my knees. Finally comfortable in my new position, I looked up and smiled. "Hello."
Sephiroth's initial expression was forever one of sobriety, but at least it wasn't anger or malice or even annoyance. I waved up at him, which slighted a forced, lopsided grin from his lips. Before he said anything else, he gave my garden a once-over, and then closed his eyes.
"How was Rocket Town?" I asked, taking a moment to pat down some upturned soil.
"It keeps growing," he said mechanically. Apparently he wasn't fond of city expansion.
"I hope you found what you were looking for."
"Pale imitations. I'd have to cross the sea to Wutai to get what I truly want." He threw his hand back in displeasure, then dropped gracefully into a squat right next to me.
"If you do go, can I come with you?"
"Your company wouldn't be necessary."
"But I…" I frowned. "I want to see the world, too. I, I've never been to Wutai, though I've heard things about it. I heard it's very pretty and exotic."
"It is," he said. He patted my head roughly. "But you know the rules."
"We never agreed upon any rules, though. Not together, anyways." I glowered. "I-I know you don't want to 'lose' me, being your-"
"Treasure. Very special treasure. In anyone else's hands, you'd only be misused to the point of your destruction. And we can't have that, now can we?"
I huffed. "Then dress me up like you always do. Why would I care as long as I got to go?"
"The things I do and bring for you aren't enough? I'm hurt. I'm only cherishing you the way you should be cherished." He shrugged and stood, looking down on me with half-closed eyes. I huffed again and looked away.
"Cherishing. Your 'cherishing' is fine. Caging me here-"
"This is far from a cage."
"-is a different story."
"Fine. When I go to Wutai, you will come, too. Are you happy now?" He sounded agitated, but I flipped back towards him with a huge, triumphant grin. I threw my arms around his neck and squeezed him tight. We both knew I was exaggerating my reaction— hugging the man was about about as fulfilling as hugging a corpse— but sometimes I hoped that neither of us really cared about that.
"Thank you. You're such a pal."
"I'm hungry now."
"I'm sure there's something in the kitch-"
Sephiroth pushed me back into the dirt, crushing a few flowers in the process. He bent down on one knee over me and grabbed a hold of the front of my blouse. As a reflex I honed well over time, I grappled his wrist and gave him nothing short of my best struggle. "No! You know how I feel about... wh, what you do. Can't it wait until... never?"
Moments like these left me in conflict almost without fail, which half the time deterred Sephiroth, but in the other half, only made him more dogged.
"You should be glad I don't come for you like this every week, every day. I compromise; I consider and put these physical needs on hold when you ask it of me. But, did you know... Do you know what amount of restraint it takes for me to do that? A fair deal, I confess. Honestly, with that body of yours, I don't know why you fight."
"It, it just feels so... invasive... in a not too good way," I said anxiously, feeling his fingers flex open and closed against my chest. He developed the habit when his patience was tried. Or had he always made of it even before I came into existence? "You know what, I don't know why you expect me to act the way a regular woman would when... doing that. I'm not human, remember?"
"All you had cried for was humanity and now you spurn it?"
"I-I just didn't want to be a monster..." I kicked at his legs but he hadn't budged one bit. I felt his hands reach for the bottom of my blouse and start to slip it off. "But now, I'm not so sure about being a woman, either..."
"I guess you'll have to talk to the Planet about that," he said with blatant delight in his voice.
"Give me strength for once," I prayed. This was going to be a long haul.
