Disclaimer: I did not make the Dragon Ball universe or any characters mentioned in this story, they are merely how I think things should work out. Snoogans!
Tales of Satan City.
By TheOnlyOneKnobi
Our story is set 20AGT (after grand tour), Goku's wife Chi-Chi dies from an cooking explosion, while Goku was visiting Gohan and Videl, forensic experts reveal that it was no accident, the gas line had been tampered with! No clues were found but a smear of purple lipstick near the gas pipe.
Goku grief ridden seeks comfort from his friend Bulma who gladly takes the stricken sayjin into her home with only a few grumbles from Vejeta. For he knows what a sayjin with no mate can end up like, like Napa, by the end of their relationship Napa had slept with more men than Vejeta has had hot Bulma!
How ever all was not well, two months later in a lab accident Bulma dies as her latest capsule experiment exploded in a blast that destroyed most of Capsule Corp, her last words were, "Vejeta I think the spandex was great...uh.".
Vejeta cried openly at Bulma's funeral Goku placed a comforting hand on Vejeta's arm, his eyes spoke of the pain they shared from that point on they became the best of friends.(Aww!)
A sayjin with out a mate is like a roulette wheel, unpredictable; the two mightiest warriors in the universe emotionally scarred shunned offers from their friends and family offers to live with them saying "we can get along O.K.". They wandered the country looking for a reason to live, sleeping with cheap whores and boxing for money (as Vejeta's inheritance was a picture of Bulma and a note saying, "Get a job Vejeta!"), until they came to Satan City where Goku (who had read too many detective comic books) said, "Hey Vejeta! Let's open up our own private eye business! Our sayjin super senses will come in real handy plus detectives get tons of chicks! Cute ones! " Vejeta had become tired of the travelling bum's life and told Goku, "That's the most hair-brained plan I ever heard! But I'm tired of beating up losers for a living and getting food poison from truck stop sushi." Vejeta shuddered every time he saw sushi. He once bought some from a truck stop and had become very sick because of it; Goku had to pry him off the toilet with a crow bar by the end of the night.
"Okay Karrot it may be a stupid idea but its the only one you ever had so I don't want to spoil the moment." Vejeta decided.
"Yeah! We're gonna be detectives! Whoope!"
"A hold on I'm the detective you're my sidekick! Or my "Skinny" boy!"
"You're one of a kind Vejeta!"
"Damn straight!"
And so the super sayjin spies were born! (enter cheesy theme tune here)
A cool breeze blew from the open window, a mess of papers lay scattered on the desk some new and white others old and yellow, the desk itself was a mahogany deal, the dark wood was coated in a fine dust that was lifted and dropped back into place by the ceiling fan that spun over head, the dust glinted gold in the afternoon light poring into the dusty apartment, the sounds of the big city was quite today as the heat was too strong even for the kids to play in, a few cars hummed past but it was quite, Vejeta sat in a chair leaning it against the wall as he snoozed dreaming of Bulma. A smirk played across his face.
Loud jazz music thumped through the grey walls causing a few pieces of plaster to fall from the ceiling, Vejeta woke with a shock and tipped his seat over knocking a pile of papers, Vejeta groaned it took him hours to stack them in an typical detective way now he would have to start all over again! Goku had insisted that they did it all by the book, Vejeta had pointed out it was a comic book but Goku said that just made it easier because it had pictures in it, so Vejeta had taken hours stacking the papers just like the pictures in the comic book and he had to change the stacks every day so it would suite the current weather, like when it rained it had to look like it was just half way through sorted and when a client came in they had to pretend that they were experienced and had just finished a case. When in reality they had only opened shop 4 days ago and put up adds 2 days ago, they had gotten one client who asked them to spy on his wife, they finished the job the same day because when they went to a whore house, for there weekly "check up" they saw the man's wife, who offered to sleep with them for free, not wanting to turn down a fine piece ass Vejeta slept with her as Goku took pictures with a spy cam he brought from his comic book, they then sold the photo to the man and posted her on the internet as well!
Vejeta counted to 3 then his temper broke he burst into the living room and yelled over the music.
"Karrot! What is that infernal noise!"
"Hey Vejeta! Look at this swell record player I got and for only 50 zenny! Plus I got two free records!" He Shouted back, Vejeta stared at the device coldly he remembered at capsule corp he had a full surround sound music system with 3 CD changer, he never used it just to bug Bulma, but at least it had a sleek silver kind of style this on the other hand was a piece of junk with a horn stuck on the end.
"You clown! How could you spend 50 zenny of OUR money on this pile of cra-"
He stopped him self from swearing, he never swore again after a row with Bulma when Trunks had told her to piss off she blamed Vejeta's near constant potty mouth, which she then washed out with soap an experience that had a lasting affect on him, every time he felt like swearing he found he could only say stuff like "gob smacking galaxies!" or "you clown!".
Vejeta was really ticked off now Karrto had spent nearly a quarter of their cash on some thing you can't even eat!
"GOB SMACKING GALAXIES!" He screamed, Vejeta felt a bit better but not much he really wanted to blast that contraption and swear his head off, but the memory of soap and the thought of blowing up 50 zenny calmed him.
He went to the coffeepot and poured him self-a cup of joe, black no sugar just 5 shots of whiskey, "Ah the only thing that's kept me alive all these years." He thought quietly to him self, shortly after Bulma's death he began drinking coffee and alcohol, often together, now he spent most of the after noon and some of the morning half drunk, Goku never touched the stuff but occasionally he would have a sweet white coffee to help him stay awake or sober up in the morning he, unlike Vejeta, only drank after dark when he thought the ghost of Chi-Chi couldn't see him, some times Vejeta thought he hit Goku in the head too many times, but always dismissed it as unlikely, if anything Vejeta thought he didn't hit Karrot enough.
Vejeta looked at him self in the mirror he still had his hair cut short but he couldn't help that, after what Bra did to when she was little and he was asleep, so he had to Bulma cut it for him, he was wearing a grey suit over a yellow pin stripe shirt with a yellow striped tie, he looked just like the guys out of the comic books, but of course they didn't look this good, he looked at Karrto's reflection in the mirror, he wore a similar but brown suit with a grey tie over a white shirt he also wore a round bowler hat which was also brown he insisted on wearing it all the time even when he slept, Vejeta felt a pang of jealousy his outrageous hair style was unsuitable for hats and he knew because he had tried, oh lord how he tried, but his hair either sucked it into the forest of soft, but knotted hair never to be seen again or was supported 3 feet from the top of his actual head, no hats on Vejeta didn't work.
Vejeta retuned to the office and turned on the desk fan, which knocked over a stack of old newspapers with headlines like "ICEBOX GANG STRIKE AGAIN!" or "THE POLICE ARE BAFFLED!" He moaned, it was swelteringly hot and that meant he had to stack them yellow ones first in a leaning tower of Pizza way which always took hours of work carefully stacking them just right, as he evened out the stacks the tap, tap, tap of Goku typing up the report of their last case for the 10th time, he had to stop occasionally to look up a word in his dictionary, then resume typing.
As Vejeta finished stacking he looked at the next scene of the comic he was meant to be napping until a client came, which he had been doing until Goku woke him up, so he leaned his chair into the sun and snoozed as he waited for a client, an hour past, two hours, after three hours he had to shift to stay in the sun, after another two hours he was fast asleep when the door opened the figure cleared their throat trying to wake Vejeta who was now drooling, the person cleared their voice a bit louder this time but Vejeta slept on finally they yelled. " Hey ass hole! Wake up! Do you make all your clients wait this long?!"
Vejeta panged up at this and just caught himself from knocking down a pile of papers near his head, he gulped and read the comic book for direction as what to do. "Right, got it." He mumbled.
She walked into my office like a cool summers breeze, she had long blond hair and legs for miles, she walked up to the desk and daintily sat on the clients chair, she took out a small mirror and make up kit and dolled her self up.
"What brings you to my neck of the woods sweet cheeks?" He said with a sly grin,
"Cut the crap Vejeta you know it's me 18, Kurin's wife." 18 said with a frown,
" Uh you weren't meant to say that."
"Look I'm here because Kurrin is missing!"
At this point Goku woke up from his type writer pillow, with the keys printed on his face, and burst into the office.
"Kurrin's missing when did that happen?!" He said half shocked half asleep,
"A week ago he kept getting strange phone calls, then he started going out late at night to a place called Buddy's diner then two days ago he never came home and the police said that with all the other missing people in this city one short guy is not going to be found, so I went to you guys."
"Wow you think we're really that good?" Goku said with surprise.
"No I went too three other agencies before this and they wouldn't take my case so I ended up here 'cause I remember Gohan telling me you and Vejeta went crazy and opened a private eye business."
"Well gorsh 18 we'll take your case! Vejeta will work out how much you owe us when we find Kurrin." Goku beamed with pride.
"If you knuckle heads find him." 18 pointed out.
"Don't worry mam sayjin detective firm is on the case!" Goku exclaimed with a big shiny smile.
After 18 left Goku asked Vejeta, "Hey were do we start the case Vejeta?"
"Well according to the comic book you spend hours doing research and getting the word on the street while I take a nap out on the fire escape skinny boy!" Vejeta replied with a nasty grin.
"Well gorsh Vejeta you sure nap a lot!"
"Just wait for the action that's when I start my real work!"
"Okay Vejeta you take a nap and I'll look for this Buddy's diner!"
As Goku left the apartment Vejeta set up a deck chair on the fire escape took his shirt off to work on his tan, all the time from a near by high rise building someone spied on the two sayjins when Vejeta was asleep they left the building and headed for the apartment, leaving only a smear of purple lip stick.
"Hey Vejeta I found sumthin'!"
As the clumsy sayjin ran to the open fire escape he slipped on a coffee spill and fell out the fire escape and grabbed the rail to stop him self from falling.
"Vejeta don't let me fall!" He sobbed, the rail creaked and began twisting under the weight.
"You clown you can fly!" Vejeta told him.
"Oh yeah!" Then Goku took to the air and floated to the doorway just as the metal gave way.
"Wow I gotta stop eating those bacon wrapped sausages." Goku said patting his stomach.
"Karrot this was not an accident see these scorch marks on the rail? This was sabotage! Some one tried to kill us!" Vejeta said with shock.
"Are you sure? I mean it's been a while since I used the ass master 6000."
"Can you stop thinking about your ass for one moment here you could have died! Sort of."
The two sayjins said nothing for a while it sank in some one tried to kill them, kill? Them?
The attempt was almost laughable but any normal human would of died, who ever had done this had been watching them and waiting for the chance.
Finally Goku broke the silence, "Oh yeah Vejeta I found that diner Kurrin was seen in."
"Where is it then?" Vejeta said.
"Well know that diner you ordered ham and eggs from and got sushi which made you sick and you vowed to kill the owner?"
"Yessssss?" Vejeta said slowly he didn't like where this was going.
"Well that's the one and it's in the middle of icebox territory."
Vejeta moaned the icebox gang didn't like him the first night they were here one of their members had tried to go through his pockets, the poor guy was almost dead when Goku pulled Vejeta off him, before running the gangster said. "You boys better get life insurance 'cause we're gonna do to you what we did to your wives!" Vejeta and Goku had been too drunk to think about this and forgot it the next morning, but now the memory came flooding back with why Vejeta had woken up the next mourning with a skirt and high heels on.
"Hey Vejeta," Goku said slowly, "What did that guy mean by what we did to your wives?"
"I don't know but I gonna find out!"
Rain fell down on the city like god had taken a cold shower and now the water swirled down the drain onto Satan City, a year ago Vejeta would of been out there training but now he sat in a greasy spoon cafe, he sipped his black coffee it had 8 shots of alcohol, Goku sat across the table eating a banana split, they were waiting for their contact who said they had seen Kurrin here four times before.
As Vejeta finished his coffee a skinny man came in, he wore a grey over coat and a fedora hat so that you couldn't see his face he sat in the booth behind Vejeta and ordered a banana split, that was signal.
"Looks like the sayjins are gone." Vejeta said, it was a strange password but quite a lot of people had heard of sayjins by now.
"But Freeza is back." The contact said, Vejeta was surprised that this guy knew about Freeza and wondered why he said he was back.
"Alright my skinny boy said you know about Kurrin." Vejeta said quietly.
"Yeah I may know sumthin'." Replied the contact.
"Oh great one of those guys great." Vejeta muttered, "Why don't we step out side for some privacy eh?" He said out loud.
"Ok."
"Come on Karrot we're going!" Vejeta shouted.
"But I'm not finished!" Goku protested.
"Oh yes you are!" Vejeta said grabbing Goku's wrist.
Out side the rain weakened and Vejeta with Goku in hand stepped out of the diner, he shot the owner a evil glance who was approaching with a bill but had decided that his life was more worth than his money.
"Alright tell us what you know." Vejeta said as Goku looked at his shoes, he liked that banana split it had 4 kinds of ice cream.
"We can't talk here," He paused, "Do you guys have a car?"
"Yup Yup!" Goku said beaming he knew the answer to that one!
"Can you drive?"
"Karrot here can drive." Vejeta said as Goku grinned even wider. Vejeta never learned how to drive when your married to the richest women in Japan some one is always there to drive for you.
"Follow me." The contact said taking out a cigarette and lighting it.
As the contact got in his car the dynamic duo climbed into their 1970 mustang, it was a fine machine with a coat hanger aerial and a faded orangey red paint job with 2 white strips across the bonnet, they'd chosen this one because Goku had also started watching deceive shows on TV as well he was fond of one which had car just like this in it and the two detectives liked to slid over the bonnet a lot . They found it in a used car sale for only 500 Zenny, Vejeta had insisted that he negotiate with the owner as Goku took it for a test drive, when Goku got back Vejeta had just stepped out of the owner's office with a smug look on his face and said "He was very accommodating." with a nasty grin, to this day Goku still wondered what really happened but Vejeta wouldn't tell.
The contact took them through a maze of back streets; often taking pointless turns that just entered back into roads they were already on, just as Vejeta was going to get out and punch the contact, he turned into a under ground parking complex.
The contact stopped abruptly at the end of block B and got out Vejeta said "You wait here Karrot."
"But I wanna go!"
"The skinny boy never goes with the detective in a place like this because some thing bad is going to happen, I can feel it."
"You ate sushi again?"
"Shut up." Vejeta said turning away to hide his face that had turned green.
"I'll see you in a second." Vejeta said then he turned and followed the contact down a row of cars.
Vejeta had thought he had lost the contact until he saw the glow of his cigarette by a support pillar, close to a no smoking sign, maybe it was the way the contact stood or the way he spoke but Vejeta felt like he knew this guy.
"Okay spill it where's Kurrin!" Vejeta spat.
"I can't tell you where he is but this address may help in your search." Said the contact as he handed Vejeta a slip of paper with thunder avenue apartment 126, Vejeta read this then said. "This is a five-minute walk from our place! What is this?"
"Someone you know has used that apartment to store Kurrin, after Kurrin was moved they sent people to spy on you from it."
"Kurrin was kept there? Who was it that took him?"
"Kurrin got in trouble with the icebox gang because of his wig traffking and with their new leader they are quickly becoming the strongest gang in Satan City." The contact took a long drag from his cigarette and tapped the end.
"How do you know this? Where do you come in?" Vejeta said franticly who ever had taken Kurrin had tried to kill him and Karrot and maybe had something to do with Chi-Chi and Bulma as well.
"I was a high-ranking member of the icebox gang till the new leader came." The contact said this with an angry tone in his voice that he recognized in himself.
Then the roar of an engine and a flash of headlights startled Vejeta as a car swerved round the corner, it sped towards them with reckless speed.
"Hey there Trunks!" Goku said waving.
"Wha-? Trunks!" Vejeta spun round and looked into his son's face, white with fear Trunks yelped and ran for it but Vejeta had already grabbed his collar.
"Icebox gang eh? Explain!" Vejeta said with a mad grin which he knew scared his son.
"Hey! Lemme go! I'll tell!" Vejeta loosened his grip on his collar but didn't let go.
"Okay! Okay! *sigh* What happened was me and Goten joined the icebox gang 10 years ago, we rose through the ranks until we were in charge but then Yamcha! Yamcha!" Trunks this name as if the words were bitter in taste. "He kid napped Dende then used the dragon balls to bring back king cold and Freeza, he then took over our gang and then," Now tears of anger streaked down Trunks face "Then he killed mom!"
Vejeta and Goku gasped Freeza was alive and so was his father and now Yamcha was using them to cause organised crime.
"Did," Goku started but he couldn't say it, Trunks just nodded.
"Damn it!" Goku shouted and punched the wall causing the structure to almost collapse.
Vejeta was unable to say anything no wonder they weren't able to find the dragon balls when they were hobos! He shook with anger the man(?) that had plagued his life since he was 5 was back and he killed his WIFE!
"THAT'S IT HE'S DEAD!" Goku and Vejeta shouted together.
It was five minutes before they calmed down then Trunks said
"Dad go to the apartment you'll find what you need there."
"I'll deal with you later" said Vejeta, Trunks blushed in guilt.
Vejeta nodded and left Goku followed him, as they left the car park they said nothing they were too busy thinking up new torture methods to use on the cross dressing Freeza.
As they went past Main Street they noticed two guys wearing the colours of the icebox gang were following them. (Purple and pink)
"Floor it Karrto!" Vejeta roared.
Goku punched it using his skills of reckless driving to doge through the traffic.
"They're gaining on us!" Vejeta said as the car drew level with theirs.
Vejeta withdrew his revolver from its holster on his shoulder and opened the window he fired at the car and hit the passenger in the arm, he yelped in pain as the shot and the glass hit him then fired back the bullet bounced off Vejeta but scored a hit on his suit.
"Hey you clown this is expensive!" Vejeta snarled.
Then the car accelerated ahead of them and something green hit the side of the car and grabbed on.
"Karrto theirs a gremlin on the side of the car!" Vejeta yelled.
Goku couldn't see out of Vejeta's window and could only see a Gremlin car.
"No problem Vejeta!" He said as he rammed the car next to him.
"Hey Goku you moron what are you doing that's Dend-!" Said Piccolo who was driving the gremlin trying to save Dendae who had fallen out of the other car.
"Get off the road grandma Piccolo!" Goku yelled as he hit the gremlin again, which caused the gremlin to crash and explode and that killed Dende in the process.
" You fool Karrot you just killed the earth's guardian! Now there's no more dragon balls!" Vejeta moaned at Goku.
"What! Oh shit!" Goku replied.
"You CLOWN!" Vejeta said his only chance at getting Bulma back was gone now he would never see her angry face again, but on the plus side Chi-Chi was never coming back too.
"Not that! The bridge!" Goku said pointing.
Vejeta turned and saw that the draw bridge was opening, they had two choices, floor it and try to jump it, or slam the brake and risk smashing into the raised draw bridge, in the brief seconds he had to think with Goku Thought "Hey just like the comic books!" Then he made the split second decision to floor it, as the hero always makes it.
As the sayjins flew through the air they looked a the drop below, it couldn't hurt them but the thought of losing the car was terrible, just as they thought they wouldn't make it the front wheels hit the tarmac and the other end came crashing down, just like the most expensive scene in a chase movie that can only be done once, however the bridge still hadn't returned to a position where they were safe now they half fell, half drove down the near vertical bridge praying it would straighten out before they crashed.
The ghosts of Chi-Chi and Bulma must of heard their husbands wails because the bridge straightened out just in time to stop them from crashing as soon as they were on horizontal ground again Goku slammed on the hand break and yelled. "That was nuts! Let's go again!"
Later Vejeta and Goku bashed down the door of the address Trunks had given them and rushed in, but the single room apartment was abandoned, the window was open and a rope had been slung down, the room it self had no toilet, an old mattress served as a bed and an old black and white TV played in the corner, Vejeta thought "I'll grab that on the way out."
"Looks like we just missed them Vejeta." Goku said.
"Really?" Vejeta said sarcastically.
"Yup you can tell by the rope hanging out the window!"
Vejeta just stared at Goku for a while as Goku looked out the window, Vejeta turned to leave when he then saw a small make up kit in the corner, it contained a roll of purple lipstick, black eyeliner and sliver face blush, on the top was a note that Vejeta read out loud.
"Dear sayjins,
So my dirty little monkey friends you have found my little look out post, well aren't you clever but I have your little friend and his lovely wife! Your old buddy Yamcha was very helpful in both the kidnapping and in your wives the murders! Come to the warehouse at pier 13 at 10:30pm and we can negotiate.
See you there boys!"
"Damn there's no signature now we don't know whom we're facing!" Goku said.
Vejeta was stunned Goku was getting worse, "Its from Freeza you dolt!" He yelled at his partner.
"How can you tell?"
"It! It's obvious!"
"Wow Vejeta you're smart!"
Vejeta fell over in a typically manga way then said "Lets just get out of here we need to prepare for tonight and grab that TV!" Vejeta and Goku left the complex TV in tow.
Vejeta and Goku spent their day watching TV and eating pot noodles (an English delight, add hot water and eat) until 10:15 then Vejeta said "Goku go start up the car I'm gonna get the ammo."
"Right." Goku said firmly and walked to the door he stopped by a picture of Chi-Chi and said to it "dear I might be seeing you soon."
Then to Goku's surprise the picture said "You'll be fine honey."
Goku turned then did a double take and said "Did you just speak?"
"No." The picture said.
"Oh ok I just thought you said that I'll be fine."
"Not me."
At this point Vejeta walked into the room carrying a box of bullets, a shotgun and shells and some capsule bombs, he nearly dropped it all when he saw Goku talking to his dead wife's picture.
"Ooookay? Um Goku?" Vejeta said.
"Yes?" He said with a silly grin.
"Just go start the car." Vejeta said slowly.
Goku nodded then ran out the door to the garage, Vejeta sighed and shook his head he was slightly worried, he had hit Goku in the head more than usual but he was still nuts!
Vejeta got in the car and Goku sped off into traffic to the pier 13.
It took Goku 12 minutes to find the ware house, Goku had wanted to stop at happy burger because they were doing sayjin man action figures with amazing flight action but Vejeta yelled at Goku to stop wasting time.
They entered the building by a side entrance, it was empty except for a man in a terrible yellow crush velvet suit and a short man and a tall woman tied to a chair with socks in their mouths.
"Well hello boys!" Yamcha said with a scary grin.
"You bastard!" Goku growled he jumped forward to punch Yamcha but Yamcha held a gun to Kurrin's head.
"Now why don't you just calm down hmmm?" Yamcha said mockingly.
"Alright we're here now let them go your after us!" Vejeta said pointing at the hostages.
"Heh heh heh they're just bait we didn't want them! We wanted you!" Yamcha said with a grin he then threw back his head and laughed manically.
"We? So Freeza is here too were is he!" Vejeta yelled.
"Vejeta you were always so hot headed." Said a voice that was in between woman and man.
"Freeza!" Both Goku and Vejeta exclaimed at the same time.
"The one and only!" Freeza said standing on a flight of stairs that lead to the roof.
"What do you want with us?!" Goku yelled.
"Simple I want you to suffer as much as my dear Yamcha and I did!" As Freeza said this he walked over to Yamcha and held him close to him.
"I think I'm gonna be sick!" Goku said as the gays kissed.
"What did we do to you Yamcha!" Vejeta shouted.
When Vejeta said this Yamcha's face grew dark and he pushed Freeza away his voice was no longer insane and hysterical but sad and filled with regret. "You Vejeta, you took Bulma from me I had the world's richest woman in the palm of my hand, she was smart, hot and a devil in the sack! And you took her from me! After her I couldn't face other women" Yamcha looked up his face was streaked with tears but he grinned manically and his eyes were deranged and disturbed. "If I can't have her no one will! Ah ha ha ha!!!!!!" Yamcha threw back his head and half sobbed half laughed and screamed at the same time it sounded like a cat had just been stepped on by a hyena.
"Now Vejeta we'll let your friends go but you have to turn your selves over to me!" Freeza said with a grin.
Vejeta was about to protest when Goku put an arm on his shoulder and said "Cool it Vejeta I have a plan." Vejeta nodded and then Goku said "Alright we'll do as you say!"
"Good, Yamcha! Untie them!" Freeza ordered, Yamcha untied the prisoners still sobbing and laughing, "I'm gonna finally get you back monkey boy!" Freeza said as Yamcha took the prisoners to the sayjins.
"Goku don't do it we're not worth it!" Kurrin said 18 nodded her agreement as she was still gagged, then as Yamcha came close Goku grabbed the traitor and twisted his neck 360 degrease then he let the body drop and turned to Freeza who said "Oh yeah I forgot about that!" as Goku went super sayjin, Freeza turned and ran up the stairs and onto the roof.
"Lets get that transvestite!" Vejeta said as Goku went back to normal. They raced up stairs as Goku yelled to Kurin and 18, "you two wait here! Call the cops!"
They busted onto the roof just as Freeza jumped onto a neighbouring ware house, Freeza turned and saw them then jumped again, "Lets get 'im!" (begin chase music here) Goku shouted as he got a run up for the jump, Vejeta followed him and landed on the next roof, Freeza was 2 roofs ahead and getting ready to jump again, the sayjins chased the homosexual for what seemed like miles of roof top, Freeza made for the residential area near the river, Goku and Vejeta followed him as Freeza dodged through the forest of aerials, at one point they lost him when they heard the sound of a motor they spun and saw a speed boat come bursting out of a private boating club driven by Freeza.
"Come on Vejeta!" Goku exclaimed as his partner stopped and drew his shotgun.
"We can't fly here there's too many people around! Now shoot at him! We can't hurt him but we can hurt his boat!" Vejeta said firing both barrels, Goku drew his pistol and fired it clicked and did nothing, he tried again but still nothing.
"It works better with the safety off! Moron!" Vejeta yelled but Freeza had gotten out of range and gotten away.(end chase music)
"Aw Gob smacking galaxies!" Vejeta said and put his gun back, he turned and looked at the warehouse it was tiny in the distance, the flashing lights of cop cars gathered around it.
"Come on Karrto, we gotta get back."
When they retuned to the warehouse they jumped off the roof.
"Vejeta I fell on my bottom!" Goku whined rubbing his ass, Vejeta shook his head and went over to a black officer who looked important.
"I'm chief Popo and I'd just like to say well done boys you rescued the hostages and helped us find the icebox gang's drug storage and you killed one of their ringleaders. Good work! Now your off the case!" The chief barked.
"Wha-? Ah keep your damn case I'm gonna go get paid!" Vejeta said as he walked over to Kurin and 18.
"Where's my money this whole things gonna cost 350 Zenny !" Vejeta yelled, knocking over Kurrin.
"Here take it! Now leave us!" 18 glared at them then gave them the money.
"Come on Goku lets go I'll treat you to a Happy burger!" Vejeta said.
"Yaaaaaaay!"
The End
Authors note:
This is my first fan fiction so don't make fun, this is the first in a series so they'll be more and there's nothing you can do about it! Also this was edited by my sister Kallista Meyers(Vejeta is god ~ luv the editor)
Its still funny even with the bad spelling. (Adam their older brother)
P.S. If you have any comments on this then send them to ministeroftruelies@yahoo.com.
PPS. Goten is the best!
PPPS. I smell dead people!
Tales of Satan City.
By TheOnlyOneKnobi
Our story is set 20AGT (after grand tour), Goku's wife Chi-Chi dies from an cooking explosion, while Goku was visiting Gohan and Videl, forensic experts reveal that it was no accident, the gas line had been tampered with! No clues were found but a smear of purple lipstick near the gas pipe.
Goku grief ridden seeks comfort from his friend Bulma who gladly takes the stricken sayjin into her home with only a few grumbles from Vejeta. For he knows what a sayjin with no mate can end up like, like Napa, by the end of their relationship Napa had slept with more men than Vejeta has had hot Bulma!
How ever all was not well, two months later in a lab accident Bulma dies as her latest capsule experiment exploded in a blast that destroyed most of Capsule Corp, her last words were, "Vejeta I think the spandex was great...uh.".
Vejeta cried openly at Bulma's funeral Goku placed a comforting hand on Vejeta's arm, his eyes spoke of the pain they shared from that point on they became the best of friends.(Aww!)
A sayjin with out a mate is like a roulette wheel, unpredictable; the two mightiest warriors in the universe emotionally scarred shunned offers from their friends and family offers to live with them saying "we can get along O.K.". They wandered the country looking for a reason to live, sleeping with cheap whores and boxing for money (as Vejeta's inheritance was a picture of Bulma and a note saying, "Get a job Vejeta!"), until they came to Satan City where Goku (who had read too many detective comic books) said, "Hey Vejeta! Let's open up our own private eye business! Our sayjin super senses will come in real handy plus detectives get tons of chicks! Cute ones! " Vejeta had become tired of the travelling bum's life and told Goku, "That's the most hair-brained plan I ever heard! But I'm tired of beating up losers for a living and getting food poison from truck stop sushi." Vejeta shuddered every time he saw sushi. He once bought some from a truck stop and had become very sick because of it; Goku had to pry him off the toilet with a crow bar by the end of the night.
"Okay Karrot it may be a stupid idea but its the only one you ever had so I don't want to spoil the moment." Vejeta decided.
"Yeah! We're gonna be detectives! Whoope!"
"A hold on I'm the detective you're my sidekick! Or my "Skinny" boy!"
"You're one of a kind Vejeta!"
"Damn straight!"
And so the super sayjin spies were born! (enter cheesy theme tune here)
A cool breeze blew from the open window, a mess of papers lay scattered on the desk some new and white others old and yellow, the desk itself was a mahogany deal, the dark wood was coated in a fine dust that was lifted and dropped back into place by the ceiling fan that spun over head, the dust glinted gold in the afternoon light poring into the dusty apartment, the sounds of the big city was quite today as the heat was too strong even for the kids to play in, a few cars hummed past but it was quite, Vejeta sat in a chair leaning it against the wall as he snoozed dreaming of Bulma. A smirk played across his face.
Loud jazz music thumped through the grey walls causing a few pieces of plaster to fall from the ceiling, Vejeta woke with a shock and tipped his seat over knocking a pile of papers, Vejeta groaned it took him hours to stack them in an typical detective way now he would have to start all over again! Goku had insisted that they did it all by the book, Vejeta had pointed out it was a comic book but Goku said that just made it easier because it had pictures in it, so Vejeta had taken hours stacking the papers just like the pictures in the comic book and he had to change the stacks every day so it would suite the current weather, like when it rained it had to look like it was just half way through sorted and when a client came in they had to pretend that they were experienced and had just finished a case. When in reality they had only opened shop 4 days ago and put up adds 2 days ago, they had gotten one client who asked them to spy on his wife, they finished the job the same day because when they went to a whore house, for there weekly "check up" they saw the man's wife, who offered to sleep with them for free, not wanting to turn down a fine piece ass Vejeta slept with her as Goku took pictures with a spy cam he brought from his comic book, they then sold the photo to the man and posted her on the internet as well!
Vejeta counted to 3 then his temper broke he burst into the living room and yelled over the music.
"Karrot! What is that infernal noise!"
"Hey Vejeta! Look at this swell record player I got and for only 50 zenny! Plus I got two free records!" He Shouted back, Vejeta stared at the device coldly he remembered at capsule corp he had a full surround sound music system with 3 CD changer, he never used it just to bug Bulma, but at least it had a sleek silver kind of style this on the other hand was a piece of junk with a horn stuck on the end.
"You clown! How could you spend 50 zenny of OUR money on this pile of cra-"
He stopped him self from swearing, he never swore again after a row with Bulma when Trunks had told her to piss off she blamed Vejeta's near constant potty mouth, which she then washed out with soap an experience that had a lasting affect on him, every time he felt like swearing he found he could only say stuff like "gob smacking galaxies!" or "you clown!".
Vejeta was really ticked off now Karrto had spent nearly a quarter of their cash on some thing you can't even eat!
"GOB SMACKING GALAXIES!" He screamed, Vejeta felt a bit better but not much he really wanted to blast that contraption and swear his head off, but the memory of soap and the thought of blowing up 50 zenny calmed him.
He went to the coffeepot and poured him self-a cup of joe, black no sugar just 5 shots of whiskey, "Ah the only thing that's kept me alive all these years." He thought quietly to him self, shortly after Bulma's death he began drinking coffee and alcohol, often together, now he spent most of the after noon and some of the morning half drunk, Goku never touched the stuff but occasionally he would have a sweet white coffee to help him stay awake or sober up in the morning he, unlike Vejeta, only drank after dark when he thought the ghost of Chi-Chi couldn't see him, some times Vejeta thought he hit Goku in the head too many times, but always dismissed it as unlikely, if anything Vejeta thought he didn't hit Karrot enough.
Vejeta looked at him self in the mirror he still had his hair cut short but he couldn't help that, after what Bra did to when she was little and he was asleep, so he had to Bulma cut it for him, he was wearing a grey suit over a yellow pin stripe shirt with a yellow striped tie, he looked just like the guys out of the comic books, but of course they didn't look this good, he looked at Karrto's reflection in the mirror, he wore a similar but brown suit with a grey tie over a white shirt he also wore a round bowler hat which was also brown he insisted on wearing it all the time even when he slept, Vejeta felt a pang of jealousy his outrageous hair style was unsuitable for hats and he knew because he had tried, oh lord how he tried, but his hair either sucked it into the forest of soft, but knotted hair never to be seen again or was supported 3 feet from the top of his actual head, no hats on Vejeta didn't work.
Vejeta retuned to the office and turned on the desk fan, which knocked over a stack of old newspapers with headlines like "ICEBOX GANG STRIKE AGAIN!" or "THE POLICE ARE BAFFLED!" He moaned, it was swelteringly hot and that meant he had to stack them yellow ones first in a leaning tower of Pizza way which always took hours of work carefully stacking them just right, as he evened out the stacks the tap, tap, tap of Goku typing up the report of their last case for the 10th time, he had to stop occasionally to look up a word in his dictionary, then resume typing.
As Vejeta finished stacking he looked at the next scene of the comic he was meant to be napping until a client came, which he had been doing until Goku woke him up, so he leaned his chair into the sun and snoozed as he waited for a client, an hour past, two hours, after three hours he had to shift to stay in the sun, after another two hours he was fast asleep when the door opened the figure cleared their throat trying to wake Vejeta who was now drooling, the person cleared their voice a bit louder this time but Vejeta slept on finally they yelled. " Hey ass hole! Wake up! Do you make all your clients wait this long?!"
Vejeta panged up at this and just caught himself from knocking down a pile of papers near his head, he gulped and read the comic book for direction as what to do. "Right, got it." He mumbled.
She walked into my office like a cool summers breeze, she had long blond hair and legs for miles, she walked up to the desk and daintily sat on the clients chair, she took out a small mirror and make up kit and dolled her self up.
"What brings you to my neck of the woods sweet cheeks?" He said with a sly grin,
"Cut the crap Vejeta you know it's me 18, Kurin's wife." 18 said with a frown,
" Uh you weren't meant to say that."
"Look I'm here because Kurrin is missing!"
At this point Goku woke up from his type writer pillow, with the keys printed on his face, and burst into the office.
"Kurrin's missing when did that happen?!" He said half shocked half asleep,
"A week ago he kept getting strange phone calls, then he started going out late at night to a place called Buddy's diner then two days ago he never came home and the police said that with all the other missing people in this city one short guy is not going to be found, so I went to you guys."
"Wow you think we're really that good?" Goku said with surprise.
"No I went too three other agencies before this and they wouldn't take my case so I ended up here 'cause I remember Gohan telling me you and Vejeta went crazy and opened a private eye business."
"Well gorsh 18 we'll take your case! Vejeta will work out how much you owe us when we find Kurrin." Goku beamed with pride.
"If you knuckle heads find him." 18 pointed out.
"Don't worry mam sayjin detective firm is on the case!" Goku exclaimed with a big shiny smile.
After 18 left Goku asked Vejeta, "Hey were do we start the case Vejeta?"
"Well according to the comic book you spend hours doing research and getting the word on the street while I take a nap out on the fire escape skinny boy!" Vejeta replied with a nasty grin.
"Well gorsh Vejeta you sure nap a lot!"
"Just wait for the action that's when I start my real work!"
"Okay Vejeta you take a nap and I'll look for this Buddy's diner!"
As Goku left the apartment Vejeta set up a deck chair on the fire escape took his shirt off to work on his tan, all the time from a near by high rise building someone spied on the two sayjins when Vejeta was asleep they left the building and headed for the apartment, leaving only a smear of purple lip stick.
"Hey Vejeta I found sumthin'!"
As the clumsy sayjin ran to the open fire escape he slipped on a coffee spill and fell out the fire escape and grabbed the rail to stop him self from falling.
"Vejeta don't let me fall!" He sobbed, the rail creaked and began twisting under the weight.
"You clown you can fly!" Vejeta told him.
"Oh yeah!" Then Goku took to the air and floated to the doorway just as the metal gave way.
"Wow I gotta stop eating those bacon wrapped sausages." Goku said patting his stomach.
"Karrot this was not an accident see these scorch marks on the rail? This was sabotage! Some one tried to kill us!" Vejeta said with shock.
"Are you sure? I mean it's been a while since I used the ass master 6000."
"Can you stop thinking about your ass for one moment here you could have died! Sort of."
The two sayjins said nothing for a while it sank in some one tried to kill them, kill? Them?
The attempt was almost laughable but any normal human would of died, who ever had done this had been watching them and waiting for the chance.
Finally Goku broke the silence, "Oh yeah Vejeta I found that diner Kurrin was seen in."
"Where is it then?" Vejeta said.
"Well know that diner you ordered ham and eggs from and got sushi which made you sick and you vowed to kill the owner?"
"Yessssss?" Vejeta said slowly he didn't like where this was going.
"Well that's the one and it's in the middle of icebox territory."
Vejeta moaned the icebox gang didn't like him the first night they were here one of their members had tried to go through his pockets, the poor guy was almost dead when Goku pulled Vejeta off him, before running the gangster said. "You boys better get life insurance 'cause we're gonna do to you what we did to your wives!" Vejeta and Goku had been too drunk to think about this and forgot it the next morning, but now the memory came flooding back with why Vejeta had woken up the next mourning with a skirt and high heels on.
"Hey Vejeta," Goku said slowly, "What did that guy mean by what we did to your wives?"
"I don't know but I gonna find out!"
Rain fell down on the city like god had taken a cold shower and now the water swirled down the drain onto Satan City, a year ago Vejeta would of been out there training but now he sat in a greasy spoon cafe, he sipped his black coffee it had 8 shots of alcohol, Goku sat across the table eating a banana split, they were waiting for their contact who said they had seen Kurrin here four times before.
As Vejeta finished his coffee a skinny man came in, he wore a grey over coat and a fedora hat so that you couldn't see his face he sat in the booth behind Vejeta and ordered a banana split, that was signal.
"Looks like the sayjins are gone." Vejeta said, it was a strange password but quite a lot of people had heard of sayjins by now.
"But Freeza is back." The contact said, Vejeta was surprised that this guy knew about Freeza and wondered why he said he was back.
"Alright my skinny boy said you know about Kurrin." Vejeta said quietly.
"Yeah I may know sumthin'." Replied the contact.
"Oh great one of those guys great." Vejeta muttered, "Why don't we step out side for some privacy eh?" He said out loud.
"Ok."
"Come on Karrot we're going!" Vejeta shouted.
"But I'm not finished!" Goku protested.
"Oh yes you are!" Vejeta said grabbing Goku's wrist.
Out side the rain weakened and Vejeta with Goku in hand stepped out of the diner, he shot the owner a evil glance who was approaching with a bill but had decided that his life was more worth than his money.
"Alright tell us what you know." Vejeta said as Goku looked at his shoes, he liked that banana split it had 4 kinds of ice cream.
"We can't talk here," He paused, "Do you guys have a car?"
"Yup Yup!" Goku said beaming he knew the answer to that one!
"Can you drive?"
"Karrot here can drive." Vejeta said as Goku grinned even wider. Vejeta never learned how to drive when your married to the richest women in Japan some one is always there to drive for you.
"Follow me." The contact said taking out a cigarette and lighting it.
As the contact got in his car the dynamic duo climbed into their 1970 mustang, it was a fine machine with a coat hanger aerial and a faded orangey red paint job with 2 white strips across the bonnet, they'd chosen this one because Goku had also started watching deceive shows on TV as well he was fond of one which had car just like this in it and the two detectives liked to slid over the bonnet a lot . They found it in a used car sale for only 500 Zenny, Vejeta had insisted that he negotiate with the owner as Goku took it for a test drive, when Goku got back Vejeta had just stepped out of the owner's office with a smug look on his face and said "He was very accommodating." with a nasty grin, to this day Goku still wondered what really happened but Vejeta wouldn't tell.
The contact took them through a maze of back streets; often taking pointless turns that just entered back into roads they were already on, just as Vejeta was going to get out and punch the contact, he turned into a under ground parking complex.
The contact stopped abruptly at the end of block B and got out Vejeta said "You wait here Karrot."
"But I wanna go!"
"The skinny boy never goes with the detective in a place like this because some thing bad is going to happen, I can feel it."
"You ate sushi again?"
"Shut up." Vejeta said turning away to hide his face that had turned green.
"I'll see you in a second." Vejeta said then he turned and followed the contact down a row of cars.
Vejeta had thought he had lost the contact until he saw the glow of his cigarette by a support pillar, close to a no smoking sign, maybe it was the way the contact stood or the way he spoke but Vejeta felt like he knew this guy.
"Okay spill it where's Kurrin!" Vejeta spat.
"I can't tell you where he is but this address may help in your search." Said the contact as he handed Vejeta a slip of paper with thunder avenue apartment 126, Vejeta read this then said. "This is a five-minute walk from our place! What is this?"
"Someone you know has used that apartment to store Kurrin, after Kurrin was moved they sent people to spy on you from it."
"Kurrin was kept there? Who was it that took him?"
"Kurrin got in trouble with the icebox gang because of his wig traffking and with their new leader they are quickly becoming the strongest gang in Satan City." The contact took a long drag from his cigarette and tapped the end.
"How do you know this? Where do you come in?" Vejeta said franticly who ever had taken Kurrin had tried to kill him and Karrot and maybe had something to do with Chi-Chi and Bulma as well.
"I was a high-ranking member of the icebox gang till the new leader came." The contact said this with an angry tone in his voice that he recognized in himself.
Then the roar of an engine and a flash of headlights startled Vejeta as a car swerved round the corner, it sped towards them with reckless speed.
"Hey there Trunks!" Goku said waving.
"Wha-? Trunks!" Vejeta spun round and looked into his son's face, white with fear Trunks yelped and ran for it but Vejeta had already grabbed his collar.
"Icebox gang eh? Explain!" Vejeta said with a mad grin which he knew scared his son.
"Hey! Lemme go! I'll tell!" Vejeta loosened his grip on his collar but didn't let go.
"Okay! Okay! *sigh* What happened was me and Goten joined the icebox gang 10 years ago, we rose through the ranks until we were in charge but then Yamcha! Yamcha!" Trunks this name as if the words were bitter in taste. "He kid napped Dende then used the dragon balls to bring back king cold and Freeza, he then took over our gang and then," Now tears of anger streaked down Trunks face "Then he killed mom!"
Vejeta and Goku gasped Freeza was alive and so was his father and now Yamcha was using them to cause organised crime.
"Did," Goku started but he couldn't say it, Trunks just nodded.
"Damn it!" Goku shouted and punched the wall causing the structure to almost collapse.
Vejeta was unable to say anything no wonder they weren't able to find the dragon balls when they were hobos! He shook with anger the man(?) that had plagued his life since he was 5 was back and he killed his WIFE!
"THAT'S IT HE'S DEAD!" Goku and Vejeta shouted together.
It was five minutes before they calmed down then Trunks said
"Dad go to the apartment you'll find what you need there."
"I'll deal with you later" said Vejeta, Trunks blushed in guilt.
Vejeta nodded and left Goku followed him, as they left the car park they said nothing they were too busy thinking up new torture methods to use on the cross dressing Freeza.
As they went past Main Street they noticed two guys wearing the colours of the icebox gang were following them. (Purple and pink)
"Floor it Karrto!" Vejeta roared.
Goku punched it using his skills of reckless driving to doge through the traffic.
"They're gaining on us!" Vejeta said as the car drew level with theirs.
Vejeta withdrew his revolver from its holster on his shoulder and opened the window he fired at the car and hit the passenger in the arm, he yelped in pain as the shot and the glass hit him then fired back the bullet bounced off Vejeta but scored a hit on his suit.
"Hey you clown this is expensive!" Vejeta snarled.
Then the car accelerated ahead of them and something green hit the side of the car and grabbed on.
"Karrto theirs a gremlin on the side of the car!" Vejeta yelled.
Goku couldn't see out of Vejeta's window and could only see a Gremlin car.
"No problem Vejeta!" He said as he rammed the car next to him.
"Hey Goku you moron what are you doing that's Dend-!" Said Piccolo who was driving the gremlin trying to save Dendae who had fallen out of the other car.
"Get off the road grandma Piccolo!" Goku yelled as he hit the gremlin again, which caused the gremlin to crash and explode and that killed Dende in the process.
" You fool Karrot you just killed the earth's guardian! Now there's no more dragon balls!" Vejeta moaned at Goku.
"What! Oh shit!" Goku replied.
"You CLOWN!" Vejeta said his only chance at getting Bulma back was gone now he would never see her angry face again, but on the plus side Chi-Chi was never coming back too.
"Not that! The bridge!" Goku said pointing.
Vejeta turned and saw that the draw bridge was opening, they had two choices, floor it and try to jump it, or slam the brake and risk smashing into the raised draw bridge, in the brief seconds he had to think with Goku Thought "Hey just like the comic books!" Then he made the split second decision to floor it, as the hero always makes it.
As the sayjins flew through the air they looked a the drop below, it couldn't hurt them but the thought of losing the car was terrible, just as they thought they wouldn't make it the front wheels hit the tarmac and the other end came crashing down, just like the most expensive scene in a chase movie that can only be done once, however the bridge still hadn't returned to a position where they were safe now they half fell, half drove down the near vertical bridge praying it would straighten out before they crashed.
The ghosts of Chi-Chi and Bulma must of heard their husbands wails because the bridge straightened out just in time to stop them from crashing as soon as they were on horizontal ground again Goku slammed on the hand break and yelled. "That was nuts! Let's go again!"
Later Vejeta and Goku bashed down the door of the address Trunks had given them and rushed in, but the single room apartment was abandoned, the window was open and a rope had been slung down, the room it self had no toilet, an old mattress served as a bed and an old black and white TV played in the corner, Vejeta thought "I'll grab that on the way out."
"Looks like we just missed them Vejeta." Goku said.
"Really?" Vejeta said sarcastically.
"Yup you can tell by the rope hanging out the window!"
Vejeta just stared at Goku for a while as Goku looked out the window, Vejeta turned to leave when he then saw a small make up kit in the corner, it contained a roll of purple lipstick, black eyeliner and sliver face blush, on the top was a note that Vejeta read out loud.
"Dear sayjins,
So my dirty little monkey friends you have found my little look out post, well aren't you clever but I have your little friend and his lovely wife! Your old buddy Yamcha was very helpful in both the kidnapping and in your wives the murders! Come to the warehouse at pier 13 at 10:30pm and we can negotiate.
See you there boys!"
"Damn there's no signature now we don't know whom we're facing!" Goku said.
Vejeta was stunned Goku was getting worse, "Its from Freeza you dolt!" He yelled at his partner.
"How can you tell?"
"It! It's obvious!"
"Wow Vejeta you're smart!"
Vejeta fell over in a typically manga way then said "Lets just get out of here we need to prepare for tonight and grab that TV!" Vejeta and Goku left the complex TV in tow.
Vejeta and Goku spent their day watching TV and eating pot noodles (an English delight, add hot water and eat) until 10:15 then Vejeta said "Goku go start up the car I'm gonna get the ammo."
"Right." Goku said firmly and walked to the door he stopped by a picture of Chi-Chi and said to it "dear I might be seeing you soon."
Then to Goku's surprise the picture said "You'll be fine honey."
Goku turned then did a double take and said "Did you just speak?"
"No." The picture said.
"Oh ok I just thought you said that I'll be fine."
"Not me."
At this point Vejeta walked into the room carrying a box of bullets, a shotgun and shells and some capsule bombs, he nearly dropped it all when he saw Goku talking to his dead wife's picture.
"Ooookay? Um Goku?" Vejeta said.
"Yes?" He said with a silly grin.
"Just go start the car." Vejeta said slowly.
Goku nodded then ran out the door to the garage, Vejeta sighed and shook his head he was slightly worried, he had hit Goku in the head more than usual but he was still nuts!
Vejeta got in the car and Goku sped off into traffic to the pier 13.
It took Goku 12 minutes to find the ware house, Goku had wanted to stop at happy burger because they were doing sayjin man action figures with amazing flight action but Vejeta yelled at Goku to stop wasting time.
They entered the building by a side entrance, it was empty except for a man in a terrible yellow crush velvet suit and a short man and a tall woman tied to a chair with socks in their mouths.
"Well hello boys!" Yamcha said with a scary grin.
"You bastard!" Goku growled he jumped forward to punch Yamcha but Yamcha held a gun to Kurrin's head.
"Now why don't you just calm down hmmm?" Yamcha said mockingly.
"Alright we're here now let them go your after us!" Vejeta said pointing at the hostages.
"Heh heh heh they're just bait we didn't want them! We wanted you!" Yamcha said with a grin he then threw back his head and laughed manically.
"We? So Freeza is here too were is he!" Vejeta yelled.
"Vejeta you were always so hot headed." Said a voice that was in between woman and man.
"Freeza!" Both Goku and Vejeta exclaimed at the same time.
"The one and only!" Freeza said standing on a flight of stairs that lead to the roof.
"What do you want with us?!" Goku yelled.
"Simple I want you to suffer as much as my dear Yamcha and I did!" As Freeza said this he walked over to Yamcha and held him close to him.
"I think I'm gonna be sick!" Goku said as the gays kissed.
"What did we do to you Yamcha!" Vejeta shouted.
When Vejeta said this Yamcha's face grew dark and he pushed Freeza away his voice was no longer insane and hysterical but sad and filled with regret. "You Vejeta, you took Bulma from me I had the world's richest woman in the palm of my hand, she was smart, hot and a devil in the sack! And you took her from me! After her I couldn't face other women" Yamcha looked up his face was streaked with tears but he grinned manically and his eyes were deranged and disturbed. "If I can't have her no one will! Ah ha ha ha!!!!!!" Yamcha threw back his head and half sobbed half laughed and screamed at the same time it sounded like a cat had just been stepped on by a hyena.
"Now Vejeta we'll let your friends go but you have to turn your selves over to me!" Freeza said with a grin.
Vejeta was about to protest when Goku put an arm on his shoulder and said "Cool it Vejeta I have a plan." Vejeta nodded and then Goku said "Alright we'll do as you say!"
"Good, Yamcha! Untie them!" Freeza ordered, Yamcha untied the prisoners still sobbing and laughing, "I'm gonna finally get you back monkey boy!" Freeza said as Yamcha took the prisoners to the sayjins.
"Goku don't do it we're not worth it!" Kurrin said 18 nodded her agreement as she was still gagged, then as Yamcha came close Goku grabbed the traitor and twisted his neck 360 degrease then he let the body drop and turned to Freeza who said "Oh yeah I forgot about that!" as Goku went super sayjin, Freeza turned and ran up the stairs and onto the roof.
"Lets get that transvestite!" Vejeta said as Goku went back to normal. They raced up stairs as Goku yelled to Kurin and 18, "you two wait here! Call the cops!"
They busted onto the roof just as Freeza jumped onto a neighbouring ware house, Freeza turned and saw them then jumped again, "Lets get 'im!" (begin chase music here) Goku shouted as he got a run up for the jump, Vejeta followed him and landed on the next roof, Freeza was 2 roofs ahead and getting ready to jump again, the sayjins chased the homosexual for what seemed like miles of roof top, Freeza made for the residential area near the river, Goku and Vejeta followed him as Freeza dodged through the forest of aerials, at one point they lost him when they heard the sound of a motor they spun and saw a speed boat come bursting out of a private boating club driven by Freeza.
"Come on Vejeta!" Goku exclaimed as his partner stopped and drew his shotgun.
"We can't fly here there's too many people around! Now shoot at him! We can't hurt him but we can hurt his boat!" Vejeta said firing both barrels, Goku drew his pistol and fired it clicked and did nothing, he tried again but still nothing.
"It works better with the safety off! Moron!" Vejeta yelled but Freeza had gotten out of range and gotten away.(end chase music)
"Aw Gob smacking galaxies!" Vejeta said and put his gun back, he turned and looked at the warehouse it was tiny in the distance, the flashing lights of cop cars gathered around it.
"Come on Karrto, we gotta get back."
When they retuned to the warehouse they jumped off the roof.
"Vejeta I fell on my bottom!" Goku whined rubbing his ass, Vejeta shook his head and went over to a black officer who looked important.
"I'm chief Popo and I'd just like to say well done boys you rescued the hostages and helped us find the icebox gang's drug storage and you killed one of their ringleaders. Good work! Now your off the case!" The chief barked.
"Wha-? Ah keep your damn case I'm gonna go get paid!" Vejeta said as he walked over to Kurin and 18.
"Where's my money this whole things gonna cost 350 Zenny !" Vejeta yelled, knocking over Kurrin.
"Here take it! Now leave us!" 18 glared at them then gave them the money.
"Come on Goku lets go I'll treat you to a Happy burger!" Vejeta said.
"Yaaaaaaay!"
The End
Authors note:
This is my first fan fiction so don't make fun, this is the first in a series so they'll be more and there's nothing you can do about it! Also this was edited by my sister Kallista Meyers(Vejeta is god ~ luv the editor)
Its still funny even with the bad spelling. (Adam their older brother)
P.S. If you have any comments on this then send them to ministeroftruelies@yahoo.com.
PPS. Goten is the best!
PPPS. I smell dead people!
