Could've tried just a little bit harder
Kissed you just a little bit sweeter
Held on just a little bit longer
Dug down just a little bit deeper
Let the world revolve around you
And given you the stars above
Loved you just enough to make you stay
And I'd've lost you anyway ~Toby Keith 'Lost You Anyway'
He loved her, of that there was no question.
Wendell Bray had fallen in love with Angela Montenegro. He had fallen in love with the bright eyes, the endless enthusiasm, he had fallen in love with her caring heart, and the way her lips were soft against his. He loved it when they just laid together. It didn't matter where, it was the fact that they were together. Their warms limbs tangled, with all the time in the world.
At least, that's what he thought.
Their time had run short though, and before he knew it, his bright-eyed-beauty was no longer his. He'd known about her and Hodgins' romance, of course, had even worried over it some, but eventually he'd realized that he was being silly. How could she still love Hodgins when it was him she came to at night, how could she love Hodgins when it was him she kissed? He should have known that there were still sparks between Angela and Hodgins, he should have seen it. Hodgins hadn't publicized that he was still in love with Angela, but he had made no move to hide the fact either. Angela had never said anything about it, and he had mistaken her silence for something along the lines of, "I don't love him." But she still loved him, and it was his own fault for believing otherwise.
Now, he lay alone.
He felt cheated, in a way. She had whispered that she loved him one night, probably when she thought he was asleep, but he had heard, and now she had torn it all a way. How could she do this? He would have built her a palace with his own two hands, he would have torn the stars from the sky and made them into a crown, because she was his queen. What right did she have to tear it all away? There was an age difference, but not a huge one, and it didn't seem to matter. Nothing will stand in the way of a love like ours, he had once thought. But now those words mocked him. They no longer had love.
"I never meant to hurt you . . ." Yes, Angela had actually said that. If she never meant to hurt him, why did she let him believe that there could be something more, when all along she was planning to go back to him? Well, he didn't know that she had always been planning it, after all, they were together for over a year, but it felt like it.
"This might sound mean to you, but it's the truth. What we were was a candle, what Jack and I are is a forest fire." He was the candle. Hodgins, the full-blown fire. He never even had a chance. His little flame beside that raging inferno. He would be swallowed, swept away.
"You're great, Wendell, really. And in a way, I will always love you, but we are too different. You'll find someone else who will love you in ways I never could." She would always love him? LIES! She proved that they were lies! She proved that when she left! And too different? She didn't see those differences when she first kissed him, she didn't seem to notice the differences the whole twelve months she was his! As for someone else, that was unthinkable. Anyone else would pale in comparison to the angel he had once held. The angel he had loved and lost. There could never be someone else.
"I hope we can still be friends." What an overused line, but Angela made it sound sincere, like she really didn't want to lose him completely. Maybe that was just useful thinking. After all, why would he want to be friends? She had ripped out his heart and stepped on it. How could he be friends with someone like that? And yet, he already knew that he would continue being her friend. If only to be closer to her, to remember what they had once had. He knew it would be easier if he could hate her, if he could just stop loving her, but it wasn't something he could simply flick off.
He kept her picture on his night stand, so that she could watch him while he slept. He kissed her lips in the morning and at night. His mind would hum in the darkness, calling every single memory to the mind, thinking of his mistakes, what he should have done differently. But deep down he knew, he knew that even if he had married her, then right now they would be getting divorced, because he was the tiny flame beside the raging inferno.
So, I was thinking this is a little different. After all, everyone is all HODGELA! HODGELA! BRING BACK HODGELA! which I am totally for, but poor little Wendell would get left behind. :( Oh well, Angela and Hodgins should so kiss and make up though. I don't own Bones.
~DI4MGZ~
