A/N:
Yuyake no Okami: asdfghjkl- *hyperventilating *
Toon Link: What's wrong with her?
King of Red Lions: The Internet God punished her for her sins by screwing up with the formatting of the story.
Tetra: And why is that any of our business?
King of Red Lions: It isn't. But we're here to do the warnings.
Toon Link: Okay then. Yuyake no Okami wrote this for the lulz. All of these Gary Stus are completely invented (Except for one, but no names will be said), and if you have a character like one of these please don't flame, don't freak out and don't kill yourself in shame. Can I have an amen?
Tetra: We're not even Cristians, you idiot...
A is for Axel
a big bad guy
with a hot and evil bride
and a monstrous sexual drive.
he's an ass to everybody
and no-one to ever complain:
the girls are having boners,
the guys are too afraid
B is for Buck
the most famous hunter ever
of killing wolfos with bare hands
his lust seems to end never.
He thinks Link is a wimp
and said it right to his face
then, without remorse
quickly took the hero's place
C is for Connor
(the poor assassin now wants to die)
to good manners and being nice he said happily "goodbye"
of all his heroic deeds, I don't believe one bit
he claims to have the fourth Triforce
(for some reason I doubt it)
D is for Daniel
obviously written by a girl
a mysterious prince, on the dark side
that actually hides a Teddy Bear inside.
I don't know you, but for the time being
I find the guy to be sickening.
E is for Erman
the most badass of the universe
between those who think he's handsome
there are Zelda, Ruto and the priestesses
(who, by the way, are not from Ocarina of Time)
and they want to be with him
characters of a lime
F is for Falco
because men have no imagination
about the Zelda franchise
he has little to no information.
Before you continue this fic,
I'll tell you something.
Please, pay attention, write it all over your body:
the Princess of Hyrule's name
is not a secret to everybody.
G is for Gondor
the strongest Sheikah warrior
so shady, so mysterious
and doesn't care about honor.
With his ninja techniques
the plagiarism is more obvious than before:
he's got a Keaton sealed in his belly,
lusting for blood an gore
H is for Hunter
because now that's a badass name
between murderers and rapists
he made himself a name.
A creepy Gary Stu
in every possible way
if the author kills him
he will make my day
I is for Igor
because female deities are wimps
he fights with two great swords
and protects ladies and kids.
He defeated Zant with a blow
and killing Yuga was a piece of cake
I'll go ahead and join the flow
in saying the author is so fake.
J is for Jackesh
(the God of bad names is now back)
son of Sephiroth and princess Malon (?)
he's got a pet dragon
with long teeth and sharp talons
more fangirls than Justin Bieber
and a kitschy fur hat, what is that, beaver?
K is for Konrad
and what's with the k fetish anyway?
The classic macho man
that sends those who love him away.
He's a demon (obviously
and no lady can survive his charms
he is OP so ridiculously
I hope in a fire he burns
L is for L
like, are you serious?
this is supposed to be a crossover,
but it's just preposterous.
Ryuuzaki is so OOC
I can't even recognize him
a pro with the sword and fighting
not a Hylian? Just let him be!
Aryll is in love with him
and Link has no problem with that
the author needs to hide:
I just found a baseball bat.
M is for Magnus
is this a quote or something?
The character's a total ripoff
but instead of the original's charisma
he has really nothing
of him and his gigantic sword I'm honestly quite sick
and no, it's not a double entry
he spent other three paragraphs
talking about his dick.
N is for Nord
(somebody played Skyrim?)
a blond, blue-eyed giant
with boots of Goron skin
and ivory jewels from an elephant
he killed with his hands
I think I know who the author is, but for my sanity's sake
I'll just hope this guy is one of their pranks
O is for Owen
that claims to be a geek
and then the most he does
is playing CoD with younger kids.
Fell into Hyrule from his wii,
the only Nintendo console he has,
and even though he's scrawny and half-blind
every girl says he's some sexy shit
P is for Parys
All brawns and brains
because every hottie is also a little Einstein
from the description, he is a mix
of Edward Elric and Alucard from Hellsing:
(in all honesty I think this is quite horrifying)
Q is for Quod
(The stupidest name yet)
everybody apparently thinks he's so perfect
sturdy as a Goron
and with Sheikah blood
obviously the result
looks like a troll in ninja garb
R is for Roy
(to think I loved the guy...)
cruelly transformed into a Stu
by someone passing by.
Overpowered terribly,
cocky and annoying he became:
it's like a Naruto phase,
just a bit worse and with another name
S is for Sher-khan
No, not the punctuated name!
I already hated it in Sues,
but here it's such a shame!
A tiger man,
for furfags or something
(and am I the only one who noticed anything?)
T is for Terror
(and I'm now hiding in shame)
I think it's the society
we should all blame:
rape culture is apparently a thing
if this OC means anything
U is for Unity
and I thought only Pony Mary Sues had names like this
the fourth god
the fourth Triforce
I think he meant to drown you in feels
with his selfless sacrifice
but If I have to be honest about it
I think he's just pathetic
V is for Van Hellsing
And I don't want to know how he ended here
showed up during Ganon's battle
while Link was dying of fear
he says something about voids and black pitch
and apparently the girls don't mind
being referred as "my bitch".
W is for Walker
pure blasphemy toward Norris
he's an immortal vampire hunter
and has a werewolf named Boris.
As soon as she saw him, Cia forgot about Link
and he doesn't complain:
just look at those tits!
X is for Xod
a Twili warrior
armed with magic guns.
He's supposed to be attractive,
but the author has no shame:
he's all sexist puns
and catchphrases borderline lame
Y is for Yokai
(because guys can be wapaneses too)
that of the pimp knows the way:
according to the author
he is the king of thieves
and has a threesome every day
Z is for Zork
finally the last one
of this walk of shame.
It doesn't really matter
whatever the author say
of the insufferable bully he has the behavior and the face
A/N: Okay, after the WTF moment from before, now I managed to fix this... I think...
I'll be honest, I liked better the Mary Sue one.
