Funerals. He bitterly smiled. It seemed that he had developed a bad habit of attending them. Normally it wouldn't have bothered him. Usually they were his comrades. But from time to time someone dear to him passed away. The only trouble was that they were so few and died so fast. He always had Rin by his side when his father died, when Obito died, when sensei died. Funny, it was his turn to be by her side. With sorrow in his eyes he looked at her lifeless body in the coffin. He pursed his lips together. She looked so peaceful just as if she was sleeping. A white lily was between her hands.
"Rin…" he whispered as the lid was closed. He looked down. Usually he comforted her, silly girl always cried. Now he needed her to comfort him. A tear escaped his eye. He needed her to comfort him now. "Where are you?" he looked up at the sky as people passed by him leaving flowers on her grave.
"Kakashi," Gai gently patted his shoulder. He looked at his friend. "It's time."
Sighing, he went up and placed the one last flower on the grave. His brows furrowed. "Sorry, Obito. I failed to protect her." He looked up at the sky. "Rin, take care."
After the funeral, Gai dragged him to a restaurant. He had to eat something, but he wasn't hungry. Without her, food didn't taste the same, air didn't smell the same, and life didn't feel the same. He knew that she loved him and he also knew that he loved her, but he never told her. It was because of Obito or so he liked to think. He couldn't stain the memory of his regretted friend. Obito loved her more than he could ever hope to. Now they could be together. He would never admit that he had commitment issues.
"Come on, Kakashi, you have to eat. How else are you going to have enough strength next time we will compete against each other?" Gai forced a piece of meat to him. He bitterly smiled. "Shocking. It could be any of us tomorrow. We need to mature pretty fast to face these things."
He didn't reply. He just stared at the multitude of bowls on their table.
"As much as I would like her to be here again, she's not coming back. Life must go on. So please, Kakashi, eat."
He pushed away his hands. "No. I can't eat. I can't sleep. It was my fault she died! I should have protected her!"
"It's not your fault. She should have been more careful…"
"Don't you dare say anything about her! You don't know her! You don't know me!" he pushed away from the table.
"Kakashi!" Gai called.
He stomped out of the restaurant. Huffing, he made his way through the crowded streets. The day was shamelessly sunny for what had just happened. He wanted revenge. Because of her death, the mission was a failure. The three rogue ninja were still out there. They were ambushed. He tried to fight them away, but they caught him. He helplessly watched how they tortured her before killing her. He didn't kill them although he wanted to. He rushed Rin to the hospital, but it was too late for her.
He kicked the door to his apartment open. Crawling up to his bed, he numbly dropped onto the sheets and tried to sleep. He couldn't. He was disgusted with himself. Rin's cries filled the room every time he tossed and turned.
Three days passed that way. Three days he did not eat. Three days his sleep was haunted by nightmares. Three days all he could hear was her scream, her laughter, he whispers. Three days he saw only her eyes. He wanted to get out there and kill everything that ever was happy and pure. He wanted revenge. He looked as his reflection in the mirror.
He frowned. He hated himself. He punched the mirror.
"AH!" he pulled away his bleeding fist. It hurt like hell, but it wasn't enough. He had to get back out there, hunt them down, and kill them all.
After carelessly bandaging his knuckles, he put on his ANBU uniform and set off to the Hokage tower. If anything, he was going to gain permission to retake the mission. He was going to avenge Rin's death.
Hiruzen Sarutobi knew that he shouldn't have left the warmness of his bed that morning. Ever since the first hours he had a terrible headache and Anko Mitrashi's loud cry didn't help. This kid was so aggravating indeed.
"Why?!" she slapped her hands against his desk.
"It's not time, yet," he rubbed his temples.
"Then when is time? I want to go on a real ANBU mission, not these shitty trips you keep giving me!" she narrowed her eyes at him.
For a seventeen year old she did have character and a mouth to match it. Anko was very dear to him, but he was not sure about allowing her on an S rank mission. He feared that the cursed seal might activate. He didn't want to lose her. And of course, no other sane ninja would go on a mission with her.
"Soon, I promise," he softly said.
"That's what you always say!" she started nervously pacing around the office. "I'm not handicapped! I'm ready for it! Just bring it on!" she shouted.
"Oh, God…" he rested his forehead on the table. "Whatever am I going to do with her…" he whispered. His head snapped up when he heard a knock at the door. He smiled-salvation. "Kakashi…"
"May I come in?" he asked.
"Of course, come in. What can I do for you?"
"Allow me to get straight to the point, Hokage-sama," Kakashi walked up to him.
"Please do."
"My former mission was a failure as you are probably well aware of the sad conjuncture I was put in during it. In short, I would like to retake my mission."
"Retake your mission?" he looked at the report. He pursed his lips together. The three rogue ninja were a danger to the others. Sooner or later he would have been forced to send someone else after them. He was not sure if Kakashi was the right person now that he seemed a tad emotionally involved. "There are other important missions that require your skill."
"I would rather take this one," he coolly said. "I don't like leaving missions unfinished."
The Hokage studied his expression. There was no trace of desperation or stubbornness.
"It is unfinished business," he added.
He sighed. "Fine, you get the mission."
"HEY!" Anko jumped. "Last time I checked I wasn't invisible and I've been pleading you for days now, and this guy waltzes in here and wham-bam gets a mission. What's up with that?!"
"Anko…" the Hokage started thinking of what to say.
"Seriously, who do you think you are?" she yelled at Kakashi.
"A far more skilled ninja than you could ever hope to be," Kakashi coldly said.
"Why you-"she wanted to continue.
"Fine, Anko, you go on this mission with Kakashi," the Hokage tiredly said.
"What?!" she yelled. "I'm not going anywhere with this arrogant bastard! I work well by myself!"
"Same here. Hokage, I really want to finish this mission and this…" he looked at her. "She'll just get in the way."
"No, this is a prefect way for you two to learn to work as a team," the Hokage said.
"But…"
"But!"
"Enough. Either you go together or no mission at all," he finally said.
They glared at each other.
"See, you two are already getting along," he smiled.
"Like hell," she spat.
"Hm…" he was annoyed.
"Now off you go. I have more important things to do than listen to two hormonal and hot blooded teenagers," he shooed them away.
They quietly walked out of the office.
"Just to set things clear, I'm only accepting you because I really want this mission," Kakashi said as soon as they left.
"Don't think I'm a big fan of yours…what's your name?" she narrowed her eyes at him.
"You don't know my name?" he was taken aback.
"No?" he shrugged. "Why would I remember a bastard's name like you?"
"Well, learn now that you have in front of the well known Hatake Kakashi. First in his class, turned ANBU captain at the age of fourteen," he ceremoniously said.
He yawned. "Are you done yet? Because all I see in front of me is a frustrated humorless guy with a serious ego problem," she lied. Of course she knew who he was.
"And might I know who you are?" he crossed his hands.
"My name is, but of minor importance. You will learn it when I will become worthy of it," she said.
"Whatever," he said. "Tomorrow, seven sharp, Konoha gates. Don't be late," he twirled on his heels.
"I'll show you, Hatake Kakashi," Anko smirked. "Just wait and see what I got."
Shoving his hands in his pockets, Kakashi went to the stone monument. He went there almost every day.
"I shall not disappoint you, Rin."
Kakashi and Anko are simply awsome and there aren't many good fics of them out there. I hope this one will be okay and that you will like it. I'll make longer chapters. Please review or...I don't know, give me a sign. Thanks a lot!
