Okay, I wrote this in 3rd period with my friend Laura. The slanted words mean she wrote them. Un-slanted means I wrote it. About halfway through class ended and I finished it later.
Disclaimer: Me: I do not own Twilight. Laura, do you own Twilight?
Laura: Of course, Aly, duh.
Me: Let's make them dance.
Laura: I command you all to dance!
Bella: We don't have to!
Alice: Yeah, you don't own us!
Emmett: You're a liar!
Me: Laura…
Laura: Okay, I don't own Twilight either…
All the Cullens were sitting in the living room. All except Carlisle who was still at work. Alice was glaring intently at the TV. She was staring at all of the new fashions and waiting to go on a shopping spree with Bella. "Bella!" she yelled at the top of her lungs. "We're going shopping!"
"No we're not," Bella said. Alice just laughed and grabbed Renesmee. "But I have your daughter," she said, laughing gleefully.
"Hey, give her back!" Bella shouted, chasing Alice around the room. But just then, the muffins Esme had been making jumped out of the oven and screamed, "We're freeeee!"
"What the hell!?" Emmett exclaimed as Esme ran out to the living room. (AN: Oooh, Laura wrote a bad wooooord!)
Rosalie jumped up and cackled loudly. "I brought the muffins to life!" she yelled.
Jasper tried to calm everyone down, but it was too much for him to handle.
Then, Aly (AN: Meeeee!) ran through the front door and sprayed Edward with anti-Evil Muffin spray, so that he at least would be safe from the evil muffins.
Alice glared at her, so Aly sprayed her too. Then Jasper filled her with love and generosity, so she sprayed everyone with anti-Evil Muffin spray, even the evil muffins, and they all ran away.
Then Rosalie admitted that she hadn't actually brought the muffins to life. But Aly had a BRILLIANT IDEA (AN: It could happen! Maybe…)! "Alice can see the future, so she would have seen this coming. She would have told you all unless it was ALICE HERSELF committing the crime!"
Everyone looked very impressed that Aly had come up with this brilliant idea all on her own.
Alice just shrugged. "I was focusing too hard on all the runways in Milan and Paris to see a couple of evil muffins."
Aly was sad. But then she had ANOTHER BRILLIANT IDEA! "Edward would have heard the culprit thinking about their evil scheme, and he would have told you all, unless it was EDWARD HIMSELF committing the crime!"
Edward looked offended. "I was with Nessie all day! And no one's been thinking about bringing muffins to life! They were all thinking perfectly normal thoughts!"
Aly was sad. Again. But then, she had ANOTHER BRILLIANT IDEA (I am so milking this as much as possible!)! "But if they were all thinking perfectly normal thoughts, they weren't blocking you out, so it must have been the only one whose mind Edward cant read. It was BELLA CULLEN!"
"Okay!" Bella yelled. It WAS me!'
"DUN DUN DUN DU-UN!"
"It was?" Aly said incredulously. "I mean, uh, um, yes! I knew it all along!"
"DUN DUN DUN DU-UN"
"It was me and my new boyfriend-"
"DUN DUN DUN DU-UN!"
"Esme," Emmett said, "Why are you doing that?"
"Sorry," Esme said.
"My new boyfriend, James!"
Just then, James, the sadistic vampire the Cullens they had when Bella was human, walked into their living room.
James grabbed Bella's hand, called together their army of evil muffins, and they skipped off into the sunset.
"DUN DUN DUN DU-UN!!!" Esme, Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper, Nessie, and Alice sang in unison.
"Bella!" Edward yelled. Then he shrugged. "Well," he said, "I'm off to Ital!"
"Bye Edward!" everyone yelled.
Aly was still stunned. "I-I actually solved the case of the evil muffins all by myself?"
