To whomever it may concern. If you are listening to this, then you have activated a file on your computer named "SBURB". While this was a really shitty idea, there is absolutely no way you can take it back now, because now you have just participated in the end of the world. My name is Epsilon, sometimes referred to as Alpha, and more so referred to as Church, and I know this because my friends and I went through the exact same thing. After one of us foolishly downloaded the game, we fought on the games terms, along the way fighting nefarious Archagents, evil Batterwitches, and Malicious time traveling demons, and even ascended as gods ourselves, all in an effort to recreate the Earth, and make sure no one would ever have to go through this horrible game ever again. If you are listening to this, that means we failed. The men I fought along side were a couple of oddballs, but they were the bravest men I had ever known, and I know for a fact that one of us was the bravest of us all. In the end, they were my friends, and I will miss them dearly. This is the story of how we failed. This is the story of how we died.