A/N: So I've had this sitting around for awhile and I just tweaked it up a bit, hope when enjoy. The song is Breathe by Greenwheel. Also the next chapter of Forcing Seperation should be up by next week somtime!
"How can you do that?" Greg asked with a hoarse voice.
"If you're asking then you don't know me at all." Nick answered calmly.
"I don't know you? We've been dating for half a fucking year."
"Yeah... you know what I've realized? That dating and being a couple are not the same thing."
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"
"Exactly what you think it means Greg."
"So what do you want me to do? Forget about this, about us?"
"There is no us anymore Greg or can't you see that? All we do is fight, we've fallen apart."
"And you don't even want to try, I get it Nick."
"We're past the trying part G, I think we just have to let go."
"But what if I don't want to let go?"
"We have to."
"How can you be like that?"
"Like what?"
"Like the past year hasn't meant a damn thing to you."
"Greg..."
"No, I understand completely. It's a good thing we're on separate shifts now."
"Why?"
"Because I don't think I could look at you everyday knowing you're not mine anymore." Greg closed his eyes and knew there were tears falling to his cheeks. But he didn't care if Nick saw him cry.
"Greg...please." Nick said as he reached out to touch Greg's cheek, but Greg moved away.
"Don't touch me; you don't have the right to anymore."
"Greg..."
"This is what you wanted. Maybe when and if we get put back together to on the same shift it won't hurt as much."
"Please Greg..."
"Goodbye Nick" And then Greg did the hardest thing he ever had to do, he walked away.
"Good bye Greg." Nick whispered to nothing.
here I am all alone
situations overwhelming again
be strong
I tell myself
but I fall
right back again
After that Nick threw himself into work. He hardly left his little apartment and when he did it was only to go back to work. He saw Greg on occasion but Greg acted as if he didn't exist and maybe that was a good thing. Nick knew they or he rather made the right decision, there just wasn't anything between them anymore. What he did was the best for both of them.
Three Months Later
Nick never even considered going out with anyone else until he met Kyle. Kyle was an old friend he knew from Dallas and had met up with again. Kyle was a nice guy and very nice to look at. Nick was surprised he even allowed himself to go out on dates with Kyle, but was actually enjoying himself. He kept telling himself it was time to move on and forget about Greg.
His doorbell rang promptly at seven and Nick smiled. Kyle was always so prompt and Nick loved that.
"Hey Kyle."
"Hi Nicky." Nick eventually let Kyle call him that, because at first all he could think about was Greg calling him that just before they made love. But Nick was moving on and he hoped Greg was too.
Moving on was the last thing that was on Greg's mind. Nick had been his first true love and now all he felt was emptiness where Nick used to be. He had heard from Warrick that Nick was dating some guy named Kyle pretty steadily, only three months after they ended things. Maybe Nick never really loved him as much as Greg had loved Nick. He mostly stayed to himself and just let work consume him. He never went out anymore and drank a six pack everyday. He just didn't feel like he had a reason to live, no one to love, no one to love him.
Sara pounded on Greg's door and decided to just pull out his key that Greg gave her when he first bought the house. Sara walked into Greg's house and was greeted by overwhelming darkness. There was a gloomy feeling and Sara didn't like it one bit. She wanted her friend to be out of his funk, she needed her friend to get over Nick like Nick was getting over him.
"Greg? Are you in here?"
"Go away Sara." came the raspy answer. Sara followed it to the living room where there were beer cans all over the floor and Greg was sitting in his chair. Sara could tell he hadn't slept in days and his eyes were blood shot from crying.
"Greg you can't live like this."
"I said go away Sara."
"No. Not until you realize that you have to move on just like Nick has." Greg looked up at Sara for the first time since she arrived, and she realized that Greg was in worse shape than she thought.
"Don't you think I've tried, but I can't Sara, I can't. You know how long I've been in love with him, you know. And now he's not here anymore and I can't move on because I still love him." Greg choked back a sob as Sara got closer to him. "And it hurts so much, it hurts."
"Greg..." Sara whispered as she pulled him into a hug and let Greg cry on her shoulder. "It will be all right, I promise it will."
"How?"
"We'll figure that out, ok? But you need to get out of this house."
"I can't do it alone Sara."
"I know, I'll be right here, I promise."
"Thank you Sara, for being my best friend."
"I always will be Greg, I swear." Sara said as he wiped away a tear that still marred Greg's cheek. "I swear."
Greg leaned his head against the window of Sara's Denali as she drove down the highway. After much convincing she finally got Greg to leave his house.
"Where are we going?"
"To get something to eat, I figure all you have in you is booze."
"I'm sorry." he whispered.
"Don't be, it's going to be ok." Greg didn't say anything just turned to look out the window, he only hoped Sara was right.
"Greg we're here."
"Where's here?"
"Focellis, it's this great little Italian restaurant."
"Ok." Greg nodded as they got out of the car. It looked nice, very small, but very welcoming.
"Hi welcome to Focellis, two?" the bubbly host asked.
"Yeah, just two." Sara answered.
"Ok, follow me." she smiled. She led Sara and Greg through the small restaurant to a table in the back. "Here you are. Enjoy."
"Thanks." Sara smiled. "See this is nice."
"Yeah it is." Halfway through their meal Greg got up to use the bathroom and just as he was about to go in something caught his eye. It was Nick, with who he assumed to be Kyle. They were leaning across the table talking to each other, and they were so close. Even though Nick had a hat on, he could see a sparkle in his eyes as he looked at Kyle. Their hands were clasped together and suddenly he felt like he couldn't breathe. He couldn't handle this; he wasn't expecting to see this.
I played the fool today
and I can see us vanishing
into the crowd
longing for home again
but home is a feeling
I've buried in you
I'm all right
It only hurts when I breathe
He felt his breath get choked up in his throat, and he coughed loud and heavy causing Nick and Kyle to look up. Nick met his eyes and Greg suddenly panicked and backed into the rest room. As the door shut he slid down it and cried.
Nick couldn't believe that was Greg, it wasn't the Greg he remembered or even the one he caught glimpses of at work. His Greg was always so happy and reminded him of sunshine on a warm summer day. This Greg looked empty and hollow, and he assumed it was all because of him.
"Nick, are you ok?"
"Yeah Kyle, I'm fine."
"Are you sure? You look like you have seen a ghost."
"I'm fine." Nick smiled tightly, although he knew he wasn't.
Sara knew something was wrong when Greg didn't come back after being in the bathroom for ten minutes. So she decided to go see if he was ok. On her way there she suddenly figured it out, there sat Nick and Kyle. Sara ducked her head down to make sure Nick didn't see her and knocked on the door hoping it was just Greg in there. And really she didn't care she would barge in there even if Greg wasn't the only one in there. She heard nothing but choked crying so she pushed her way in to find Greg was curled in a corner hugging his knees and crying.
"Greg, come on we're going to go home now."
"I saw him Sara, I saw him with Kyle. He looked so happy."
"I know Greg, I saw him too. Come on let's go home."
"It hurts."
"I know honey. I'm sorry you had to see them."
"You didn't know they would be here." he sniffled.
"I didn't. Now come on." Sara helped Greg to his feet and wrapped an arm around his shoulder. "Let's go home." They walked out of the bathroom and Sara looked over to Nick's table. He was looking straight at Sara and Greg and she told Greg to walk to little bit quicker. She didn't want Nick to see the state he was in.
"Nick, you're not fine. Who were they?"
"Um Sara, from work."
"Oh yeah, why didn't she say hi?"
"Probably wanted to leave us alone." Nick shrugged.
"Who was the other guy? He looked awful, a real mess."
"I don't know who he was." Nick whispered as he pushed his food around his plate.
Sara helped Greg into his house and to his bedroom. She helped Greg into the bed and pulled the covers over him.
"You rest ok?"
"Thank you for caring so much Sara."
"You're like family Greg and if my family is hurting I hurt too."
"I love you."
"I love you too Greg." Sara said as she kissed his forehead. "Now go to sleep." Sara watched as Greg closed his eyes, then she quietly crept out of the room.
I can't ask for things to be
still again
I can't ask for you to offer
the world through your eyes
longing for home again
but home is a feeling
I've buried in you
All Nick could think about after they left the restaurant was Greg and how much pain he was going through. And suddenly Nick felt like he couldn't breathe. Maybe he put so much effort into moving on that he forgot how much it hurt not to have Greg in his life. Maybe he wasn't over him like he thought he was. When he saw him and those brown eyes full of unshed tears all those raw emotions came back. Maybe Nick wasn't ready to move on; maybe he should have tried harder. He needed to see Greg and needed to see him soon.
Sara was startled when someone knocked on the door. Maybe it was Catherine; she had called her after Greg was asleep. Even though they had never been close they both cared for Greg, so she hoped it was Catherine. Sara opened the door and blinked her eyes, definitely not Catherine.
"Hi Sara."
"Nick?" she asked. Although it didn't look like the Nick she saw in the restaurant earlier that afternoon. This Nick looked pained, exactly like Greg looked. "What do you want?"
"Please let me see him Sara."
"He's asleep."
"Please Sara..." he whispered. "I need to see him." Against her better judgment Sara let him go and hoped to God everything would be ok.
Nick pushed the door open and just stood there for a moment, watching Greg. Even in his sleep he looked pained. Nick crept over to the bed and softly caressed Greg's cheek. How could ever give up so soon on him, on this beautiful man who he had loved longer than forever. Greg leaned into the touch.
"Nick..." the words tumbled from his lips even in sleep. Nick choked back a sob and realized that he needed Greg in his life, needed to be near him always. He needed to try. Greg's eyes suddenly opened and he sat up straight. "Nick, what are you doing here?"
"I need you..." he whispered. "I'm so sorry I didn't want to try, but today when I saw you I realized that I wasn't over you, I can't live without you Greg." he croaked.
"Nick, we can't just get back to where were before so easily, I've been going through this for the past three months, I just can't forget."
"I know that, but I want to try. I want us try." Greg closed his eyes as Nick reached out to touch his face.
"It's going to take awhile for us to get past this."
"I know, I'm willing to try. I never stopped loving you Greg. Never."
"I'll always love you Nick, but I don't know if we can, if I can."
"Please, I know I messed up. Please I just want to feel whole again. And I can't, not if you're not here with me." Greg looked up at Nick, into those brown eyes and he believed him.
"I want to feel whole again too Nicky." Nick choked back a sob as Greg reached out to touch his face. They leaned closer to each other, lips barely touching. Then Nick moved closer and they fell into a kiss full of wanting and harbored emotions from the past three months. They pulled apart from each other, but no words were said, but they could feel it. They both finally felt whole again.
Sara pushed open the door slightly and smiled.
"Are they ok Sara?" Catherine asked as she came up behind her.
"Not entirely, but I think they will be."
THE END
