"Willow?"
"Hmm?"
Willow felt pretty good about the day so far. It had started with mochas down at the Espresso Pump, which was, in her opinion, the best – nay, the only – way to start the day. Then had come walking around Sunnydale, which Tara was still relatively new to, and pointing out the tourist sites, not to mention the demon sites. Now they had returned to Tara's dorm room, and the conversation had turned to friends, which led, inevitably, to slightly awkward silences on both sides. Tara… well, Willow didn't know too much about her home life, but she was guessing that friends might not be the hottest topic for her. On Willow's part, there was just something odd about discussing the Scoobies with Tara. And, besides, talking about the Scoobies led to talking about Slayage led to some pretty nasty, if exciting, conversations. Hence, silences.
"Willow." Willow had gone off into another reverie, but jerked upright again at the sound of her name. She turned to face Tara, who had an expression on her face as if she were both concentrating and curious at once, as well as slightly bemused.
"I'm sorry! I'm sorry. I just went on a bit of a mind-"
"Willow." Make that amused, corrected Willow internally, blushing just a little. "Tell me about… tell me about Xander."
"Um, uh, okay," said Willow, slowly, leaving aside for now the question of "Why?" and the sudden, inexplicable jealousy. "What do you want to know?"
"Well, I-I don't know, anything. I just feel like I don't know your friends, and they're… they're almost like a part of you? So of course I want to know about them. If that… makes sense?"
Ah... "Ah, okay," said Willow, happy, mocha-and-Tara induced smile restored. "So you want to know… hmm." What was there to tell? Xander was… Xander. He always had been. But the recent Xander, even the good stuff, was all inextricably tied up with the Scoobies and Slayage, and while that could be good, better, best even, Willow was getting the feeling that it wasn't quite what Tara was looking for.
"Tell me…" said Tara, as if reading Willow's mind, as she often did, "You've known Xander for a long time, right?"
"Yeah," said Willow, a smile creeping onto her face unbidden. "Since forever."
"Tell me something from when you were little."
"Sure," replied Willow, bouncing happily back onto the bed so she was lying face-up, staring at Tara's ceiling. Tara copied her, a mirror of Willow's smile on her face, and Willow began.
"Ever since I can remember, there's been Xander. There's always been Xander, just like there's always been the Espresso Pump and the Bronze, and like the sun has always risen and set. I just can't remember being a pre-teen without remembering him, you know? He's like a fixture in those memories.
We did… oh, we did everything together. We were joined together at the hip, a-and I don't mean that in a freaky, literal, superglue way, although we did try that one time after my mom said to us that we were joined together at the hip and-and much tumble-drying and groundings resulted and it was kinda hard to walk anyway, and we didn't try it again. But we did everything together anyway, superglue or no superglue! We rode our little mini bikes down on the bluff – manly navy blue for Xander, dark red for me 'cause my mom didn't agree with pre-teen female stereotypes as manifested in fashion and popular culture – and I pretended to be Wonder Woman and he pretended to be Indiana Jones, and Wonder Woman somehow managed to meet up with Indiana Jones and have adventures with him, it was a whole thing, we didn't really bother about the fine details. But there was always something, y'know? There was always a game, or an adventure, that Xander came up with, and we played it out regardless of lack of realistic setting or, you know, human logic.
Heh, this one time, Larry Blaisdell – do you know Larry Blaisdell? You don't know Larry Blaisdell. Real jerk – but totally human, as it turns out, and Buffy didn't even try to stake him! – ends up being gay, comes out, turns out to be a really nice guy, next thing you know, whoops! Whaddya know, big snake comes and just messes the whole thing up, and Larry doesn't outlast his high school. Well, like I said, Larry used to be a total jerkface, even when he was just a kid, and this one time he said to Xander – I can't even remember the exact words, but Xander took it pretty seriously, so I did too, by extension – something about no girl ever wanting to go out with a boy as dorky as him. Well, from then on, as long as Larry was around, I was Mrs Xander Harris – yes sir, that was me! It took Larry almost a year to catch on, and for all that time, he thought Xander was the biggest stud in Sunnydale! Biggest nine year old stud I ever saw, anyway.
Now, this would've all been fine, if it wasn't for The Parents. That's my parents. They didn't approve of Xander. Maybe it's because we'd just moved to Sunnydale, and Xander's parents had been born in the town – God only knows how they survived there. You know, other parts of the world, new immigrants aren't generally considered better than local residents! Some parts of the world, there's this whacky notion that, you know, no-one's better than anyone, but I guess that's my parents for you. They used to talk about him, Xander, when they didn't think I could hear. They never mentioned his name, but I could tell it was him. It was always He did this, He did that. I could hear the capital letter. I never told Xander this, and I never have done. He would've been heartbroken. He was round for dinner every week, anyway, and he was always polite, and my parents always acted charmed and happy to see him, but as soon as he was out the room… "He."
And then one day, in one day, it all changed, because Xander… well, he saved me.
It was May, early summer – and we get real summers here in California, Giles complains about them more with every passing year – and the two of us were wandering through a graveyard together. Which, which isn't as freaky and morbid as it sounds, because there aren't a whole lot of other open spaces in Sunnydale that are ten-year-old friendly. Anyway, there we were, trekking merrily along, when we see this group of guys just up ahead of us. Grownups tended to stay out of the cemeteries in Sunnydale, still do, so we were a bit confused, and in this confusion, I trip over, whack my knee on the ground, and start bawling. This distracts the guys; they stop what they're doing, come over, and we see that they're blue. Nu-uh, no kidding. This people are completely and totally blue all over, in broad daylight, in the middle of summer. Admittedly, they weren't in a crowded public place, but it was still pushing the undercover factor a tad. No, and I still didn't figure out that demons existed 'till Buffy came.
Well, these blue guys come over, and I see that they're, you know, blue, and that just makes me bawl even more. Xander's sort of standing there, looking scared out of his mind but still being all manly. He puts out a hand, pulls me up, and half carries me out of that graveyard without looking back. The blue folks just stand there behind us, looking kinda pissed off.
Now, I don't know if you know this, but May on the Hellmouth is pretty much a bad time to hang around cemeteries. Demony types cooking up all sorts of unpleasant, yucky-tasting stuff – and I don't just mean curry – well, they abound. After Buffy came, and the whole Scooby-stuff thing started, I looked up these guys. Diasin demons, as it turns out, and, as Giles would say, not particularly pleasant company. Well, not only did Xander heroically carry me home and tend to my knee non-stop for a full week after that, but he probably saved the world that day by interrupting their ritual, and then by confusing them so much they just, oh, left us alone. Of course, my parents didn't know that, but they treated Xander a lot better after that. They even invited him round a few times, which is just about the highest accolade they award. But from then on, Xander was "he" with a lower case h, and, well, all was well."
