I do not own mass effect or any related products, the only thing I own is my imagination.

Prologue - The Calm Before

Tali'Zorah

The hiss of a breather mask echoed through the large room, I give a sigh as I am once again shut off from the world, shut off from the people I care about. Turning, I look at the human currently strapping on grey and black armor, the red stripe on his arm barely visible as he fastens the last strap, the sentry interface he has recently taken to wearing was on the desk, the holographic read out blank.

He seems to feel my eyes on him and turns, the grim expression on his face changing into a warm, loving look. Im still struggling to believe what happened only a few hours ago was real, however, the warm feeling pooling in my body is proof that this isn't some bittersweet dream. Keelah, if that wasn't enough for us to show how we feel about each then I don't know what else to do, I give a shudder and wrap my arms around myself, suddenly finding the empty fish tank fascinating. Hearing a chuckle I feel a pair of strong arms wrap around my waist, the hands at the end of those arms coming to rest on top of mine, gently pulling me flush against the armored body now behind me. The murmur is easily picked up by the sensors in my helmet;

"Cold?"

Commander Shepard, the first human spectre, savior of the citadel and and council and, recently, my lover. I lean back into his arms, feeling more secure with every passing second;

"Still trying to believe this isn't some wonderful dream, is it?"

A chuckle echoes through his body, the vibrations causing my mind to drift to a totally different area as he replies;

"If it is then I don't want to wake up, unless I wake up to find you in my arms"

I turn in his arms and put my hands on his chest, cocking my head to the side;

"Keelah John, I didn't realize you were so corny."

He grins at me, the glow from his scars seeming to fade at the simple motion;

"Having regrets?"

I reach up to brush my hand against his cheek, he reaches up and wraps his hand around mine, holding it to his cheek. He eventually turns his head and presses his lips to the palm of my hand, causing me to flush with heat, thanking the ancestors that he can't see the effect he has on me. However, I lower my head, that insecure feeling welling up again;

"Only that we don't have more time"

His hand leaves mine cup my mask, tilting my head up to look him in the eyes, his loving smile back in place as his thumb strokes the visor, understanding in those warm, grey eyes;

"Once this is over, when we have ended this, we'll have all the time we could want Tali, and I intend to make sure we all come back from this in one piece" I look up but he continues; "I know you weren't just talking about this mission Tali, and I need to say this before we go in there, you could spend your entire life behind this mask, we could never be intimate like we just have been, and I would still love you, I will love you as long as there is breath in my body and a pulse in my veins."

I stare at him, speechless, no-one has ever spoken to me with such passion, such fierce love in their voice.

"John..."

He simply smiles, waiting for whatever my response is.

I simply pull my self into him, tears running down my face as I struggle to find the words, nothing more is said after that, he simply holds me until we are reminded by EDI of the time till arrival.

We both step into the elevator, his arm around my waist and my head resting on his shoulder, he takes my hand and presses his lips to the palm of my hand once more as the doors close, the tingling sensations don't stop until he steps onto the CIC to head for the bridge and I stay to head into engineering, not before he gives my hand one last squeeze of affection.

Garrus

I go over the readings for the ninth time, or is it the tenth time? I don't even care enough to try and remember, just going through the motions until the call comes to battle, I've done al I can for these cannons, the improvement I've made causing no small trouble for engineering, now reduced to just Tali after the Collector attack took the others. It was no different in the forward batteries, I've always worked alone when it comes to the weapons systems, the silence can be both comforting and daunting. Time to think, time to remember, although thats really the last thing you want to do before going into what was probably a suicide mission. Spirit's Shepard certainly knows how to work his team, I can only hope he hasn't bitten off more than he can chew this time.

The sound of the hatch opening brings me out of my musing, only the lightest of footsteps cause me to turn and look at the red clad woman standing in the doorway;

"What is it?" I question, not really sure why the enigmatic at best thief would be here, the last time we had a conversation outside of battle was a couple of weeks ago when I found her like that.. "Is it time for the jump already?"

She says nothing for a second, then looks up, those dark, warm eyes meeting mine;

"Not yet, wanna talk?"

I turn and look at the normally 'important' work I was doing, then realize my heart really isn't in it. Gesturing towards a couple of spare crates, we cross over, both grabbing one and getting ourselves as comfortable as possible.

"So what did you want to talk about?"

She smiles, from under that hood, leaning back against the wall;

"Well I know Shep's story, but," Gesturing around her she continues; "What's yours?, How did you get involved with all this? I mean, you've been with Shep from the beginning, how did it come to this Predator, what caused you to join up with him those years ago?"

I raise a brow plate at the, admittedly quite personal, question. But, if this is going to be my last mission, I can at least tell my story one more time;

"Spirits, bit of a long story that one, why do you want to know?"

"Honestly? You're an enigma to me, I've heard everyones story at least once, even most of Sheps, but nothing on you. I don't even know why you were hell bent on murder at one point."

I wince a bit at the reminder of that time, all I remember really was the drive, the hatred in me at the time was blinding. However, thanks to Shepard I realized those emotions I had originally thought was for the cowardly Sidonis, were only partial. The anger and disappointment was mostly for myself, I'd failed to protect my team, I let my feeling get the better of me for a second time, the first being on the hunt for Saren. Only this time my mistake cost 10 good men their lives.

A tap on my knee brings me out of the daydream, Kasumi was looking at me, worry in those normally playful eyes;

"If it's too painful then just say, I won't pry any further."

I hear the sincerity in her voice and consider just passing it off as too painful, but something stops me, instead I find myself saying;

"Tell you what, we don't actually have long enough before arrival for me to tell you the full story, so I'll make you a deal, interested?"

She grins at the offer and leans forward, resting her chin on her hands, eyes playful once again;

"I'm always interested in this kind of offer."

I smirk, also leaning forward and mimicking her posture;

"When we get through this mission, we'll sit down and I'll tell you everything you want to know, as long as you return the favor?"

The grin widens further showing perfectly white teeth, and she stands, prompting me to do the same. A small, red clad hand stuck out and I look down at it for second, then take it, shaking our hands to secure the deal as she confirms;

"Deal, Predator"

I keep my smirk in place as I reply;

"Pleasure doing business, Miss Goto"

Just as our hands part, we hear Shepard's voice over the comm system.

"Everyone to your posts, we're approaching the Omega 4 Relay."

No more words are said as Kasumi turns to leave, however, as she approaches the door she turns and winks, then steps out of the room, cloaking as she goes. I simply grin and shake my head, turning back to the forward battery to see what more I can do, wondering how I get myself in to these situations.

Kasumi

After I leave Garrus I head towards the elevator, aiming to help Tali in engineering. Everyone is already at their posts so I'm alone on the way down, gives me some time to think I suppose. I'm wondering why Garrus made that deal with me, I always struggle to read the intention of Turians, not that I've had much experience with them as individuals. Garrus has always been particularly hard to read compared to the other crew on this ship, never spoke about himself other than to make some claims more funny than believable. Still, he is always there when we need him on the battlefield, that shows a dependable personality at least. He strides boldly, almost arrogantly into battle, not afraid to risk himself for his fellow teammates, I would only have done that for Keiji, and yet he does it for complete strangers as well as loyal friends, the mark of a leader.

The smirk from my face fades a little when I step into engineering to find no-one else is there, I miss Gabby and Ken, the two of them were such a great, albeit unknowing, couple and now they may never have the chance to get together properly.

Tali is not here either which I find very strange, maybe she went up to see Shepard? God I hope she confesses to him, if we all die and he dies not knowing, I'll kick his ass in the life after this one.

Thinking of love and such leads me to think of what happened with Jacob a few weeks ago, and again how that Turian managed to surprise me...

I'm sneak up to the armory cloaked, aiming to surprise him and see if he would like a drink, perhaps more if I have my way. I smirk as the armory door opens and wander in, taking my time and thinking he'll be alone when a low moan disturbs my thoughts, looking up still cloaked I see that glorious muscled, dark body topless, his one piece uniform falling around his waist and a pair of shapely legs wrapped around his waist, toned calves and strong thighs belonging to one operative Lawson. I stop gobsmacked, amazed that I didn't see this coming or even consider it, I never even thought of those two as a couple, they always seemed so professional even with each other. Miranda is pressing her lips to his neck, those hands moving from his shoulders lower and his strong, firm hands reaching for the zipper to her catsuit. I turn and walk out, not wanting to bare witness to the scene anymore.

Reaching my room not fully aware of the journey I simply collapse on my bed, tears in my eyes, thinking of Keiji and my own pathetic loneliness bringing me further into despair.

A choked sob escapes my throat as all the pent up emotions I have been trying to keep to myself stumble forth, eventually I'm simply lying there sobbing into my pillow without realizing or caring about how loud I'm being until a tap on my shoulder stops me thought.

I turn, expecting Thane or Samara to have heard me through the doors but instead I look up into the scarred, animalistic face of one Garrus Vakarian, his armor is off and he's wearing the standard tunic of his people, I can count on one hand the number of times I've seen him without his armor on, and can't think of any time when it has been on the Normandy before now.

Before I can even ask him what he's doing here, I feel myself pulled against him, his arms wrapping around me. "It's ok to cry Kasumi, let it out."

That simple statement causes the dam to finally break, I grip the back of his tunic and bury my face into his shoulder, sobs wracking my body as he simply sits there with me, cradling me, gently rocking me, it soothes me, knowing that I still have people that care about me.

Eventually I fall asleep, Garrus still cradling me in his arms, the first time I have fallen asleep in someones arms since Keiji...

I wake up the next morning in bed, the covers pulled over me and a note on my bedside drawer simply reading; "Hope I helped, V."

I smile warmly reading the note and slide it into my drawer, keeping it as a reminder of that night.

I still have the note from that night safely in my drawer, kept safe as a memento of his kindness.

Reaching the drive core control panel I pick up a datapad and prepare myself for the mission ahead, wondering what the future will bring me, and whether or not I will even survive the next 24 hours.